


Elusive

by Purple2015



Category: Peck and Stewart, Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 115,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple2015/pseuds/Purple2015
Summary: Holly has been in San Francisco for three years but the job she left Gail and Toronto for hasn't turned out quite how she hoped. Tempted by an attractive job offer from a private firm, Holly is warned off by someone from her past, leaving her with what seems like a million questions about exactly what happened to Gail Peck after she left her in Toronto.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> So I was only ever going to write one Gail and Holly story, then I wrote this thing this afternoon and decided to post it. I’ve had this story idea kicking around for a while and if you like it I’ll continue. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Apologies, as always, for the mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> So I was only ever going to write one Gail and Holly story, then I wrote this thing this afternoon and decided to post it. I’ve had this story idea kicking around for a while and if you like it I’ll continue.
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Apologies, as always, for the mistakes.

Holly glanced around the crowded room. Most of the women were frocked-up and bejeweled. Dripping wealth. Designer labels and diamonds. The men were clearly well heeled too. The cut of their suits expensive. Waiters in white shirts and black bow ties were milling around the room carrying trays laden with champagne and canapés. Dunant and Co sure knew how to throw a party.

Did she really want this job, she wondered. She could run her own lab. The salary was huge. More than she needed. Holly wasn't entirely convinced about working for a private company. But year after year budget cuts had put the squeeze on the forensic department. The equipment was ageing, there had been job losses and people cut corners because there was not enough time or staff to do the work properly. Holly suspected the sloppy practices of some of her colleagues may have allowed some criminals to go free. So the offer from Dunant and Co was attractive, especially the promise of her own state of the art lab.

Problem was this just wasn't her scene. She wasn't a schmoozer, and she suspected it would be expected of her if she took the job. Holly looked around desperately for someone to talk to. Someone who looked a little more like her. It was then that she caught sight of the platinum hair. Shoulder length now. The green dress was definitely designer, off the shoulder and low cut at the back, revealing that smooth spine that Holly remembered trailing kisses down, the skin firm but soft and oh so creamy. The memory was dizzying.

She wanted to look away, but found she couldn’t. A couple standing in front of Gail shifted and she saw that Gail had her arm linked through that of a handsome man. Urban and distinguished, he was a cross between George Clooney and Don Draper from Mad Men, his silver hair close cropped, his suit fitted to perfection, and his air of extreme confidence unmistakable, even from where Holly was standing across the other side of the room. Holly watched as he placed his hand on the small of Gail’s back and then Gail turn and flash a warm smile at him, then laugh at something Julian Crozier, the CEO of Dunant and Co, said. 

Holly couldn't help the bitterness. Had Gail gone back to men? When they were together, in fact the very first time they had sex, Gail said that was it, she was gay. No turning back now, girlfriend, Holly thought sourly. As a waiter passed, she swiped a flute of champagne and drank it in one long gulp. Immediately feeling light headed, she went in search of the restroom.

'Looking for the ladies,' a young waiter asked, 'there's a queue in the main one, but there's a bathroom just around the corner there. It's not marked so no one knows about it. Second door on the left.' Holly nodded gratefully and thanked him.

She had just entered the bathroom, when she felt a rush of air as the door was opened. Then almost immediately she heard the sound of it being closed and locked. Spinning around she came face to face with Gail. God, she was so beautiful it took Holly's breath away. She noticed the wedding ring immediately, sapphire and diamonds, tasteful but expensive. 

Then Gail was pushing her against the wall and kissing her and she couldn't help but kiss her back. Before long the sound of their moans was filling the tiny room, and Holly pulled Gail closer, reveling in the feel of her, in the smell of her that was so familiar and so alluring and it was almost like they were back in the interrogation room at 15 all those years ago. Then abruptly Gail pulled back. 'I'm sorry,' she said softly, tenderly and suddenly looking vulnerable and a little deflated. Then she was gone, making Holly wonder if she'd imagined her.

Holly gripped the bathroom sink to steady herself. She looked in the mirror and saw her hair was mussed up and her lips already swollen from kissing. Straightening herself up and reapplying lipstick, she went back out to the party. She scanned the room but there was no sign of Gail.

......................

'It's been a long time, Holly. Three years?' Traci said over the phone, 'are you still in San Francisco?'

'Yeah. Traci, I know it's strange for me to call out of the blue, but I think I saw Gail the other day. Do you know if she's moved here?'

'Still hung up on her, huh,' Traci said with an unexpected edge to her voice. Holly wondered what it meant. Was Traci just annoyed she'd clearly only called to find out about Gail.

'Just curious.'

'Yeah?' Traci said doubtfully.

'Do you know if she got married, um, to a man?'

'To a man? Unlikely. She had a couple of flings with women after you left. Seemed pretty definite she was gay.'

Other women. Now why did that hurt, Holly thought, knowing full well why it did. She must have said other women out loud because Traci said 'Yeah. Do you remember that Detective Frankie Anderson. They had a thing for a while. It was a disaster. I think they spent the whole time trying to out mean each other.'

'Frankie Anderson,' Holly repeated, remembering the brash and rather overbearing detective. She'd tried to hit on Holly once and seemed reluctant to take no for an answer. Narcissistic and sour. What was Gail doing with someone like that?

'I hadn't heard anything about her getting married though, but to tell you the truth I haven't seen Gail in over two years.'

'What do you mean?'

'Steve was arrested for corruption, the Pecks senior were implicated and forced to resign or face investigation. There were questions hanging over Gail, a lot of rumors and outright hostility, so she quit the force and, as far as I know, left Toronto.' 

Then Traci explained everything that had happened and how Gail had turned her parents in after Bill tried to make her lie for Steve on the stand. It made Holly’s heart ache for Gail. If only she'd been there to support her. What must it have done to her to be betrayed by the family who had bullied and belittled her, who had made her feel like she was never good enough. And then to have her colleagues doubt her. It must have crushed Gail, especially as Holly knew the soft, knew the vulnerable Gail that lay beneath the tough girl front.

'So you and Steve?' she asked.

'Oh that ended then and there. He's serving 10 years. I've finally met a nice guy though. Not a cop, thank god,' Traci laughed, 'we're getting married next month.'

'Congratulations,' Holly managed to stutter. 'I can't believe Gail would leave the force, leave Toronto and I don't believe she'd be mixed up in corruption.'

'For what it's worth, I don't believe it either,' Traci said, 'you know you two were good together. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, but Holly it would have been good if you'd been here when it happened. Gail needed someone in her corner.'

After she ended the call, Holly sat for a long time. Night had begun to fall and she hadn't turned on any lights in her living room. She felt numb and yes guilty, even if Traci had said she didn't want to make Holly feel that way. 

Had Gail got married to escape what had happened in Toronto? Had marriage to someone who was clearly a corporate big hitter allowed her to block out and move beyond her past, including her past with Holly? Had she been there, could Holly have provided that escape, that salvation? 

She felt a single tear roll down her cheek. Oh yeah, there was no doubt about it; she was still hung up on Gail Peck. Except she wasn't Gail Peck anymore. She was Mrs something and even further out of Holly's reach then ever before. Holly knew she should be angry with Gail for kissing her at the party, but she couldn’t bring herself to be.

A week later, as Holly walked to her yoga class, she couldn't shake the feeling she was being followed. She kept looking around but didn't see anyone suspicious or who struck her as out of the ordinary. All the other pedestrians seemed to be purposefully going about their business, completely oblivious to Holly's furtive glances. 

It was on the way home, only a few blocks from her apartment, that Holly was grabbed and dragged into a narrow alley. Her heart began to pound so fast she understood what people meant when they said their heart was beating out of their chest. Then the adrenalin kicked in and she was about to try one of the self-defense moves she'd learnt way back at college when she realized it was Gail. Looking much more like the Gail of old. Her hair was cut short and she was wearing a battered leather jacket and jeans and those ubiquitous combat boots. Instinctively, Holly glanced at Gail's hand and saw the wedding ring was missing.

'Don't sign that contract with Dunant. They're bad news, Holly,' she said urgently.

'Says who? Your husband? He seemed pretty cozy with them the other night.'

Gail shook her head. A quick, irritated movement. Holly couldn't tell if it was in annoyance or to dismiss the mention of the husband.

'Just don't do it. Please.' Gail said and then she was gone. 

Fuck, what had just happened?

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> As you can see, I am continuing this. I can’t promise that your or Holly’s questions will be answered this chapter. You might even have some new ones.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for the comments, kudos, subscriptions and for reading. Let me know what you think! I love to know.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes - they are all mine. Hope you enjoy.  
> ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Holly saw it on the news six weeks later. She was supposed to be on a date but pulled out at the last minute. Which had made her feel like a heel. Calling to cancel, Holly winced at the lilt of excitement in Steph's voice and at how her tone quickly flattened into disappointment when she heard Holly couldn't make dinner. 

How could Holly go on a date when all she could think about was Gail? Gail kissing her at that party, like it was the last thing she was ever going to do, with fervor and a hint of desperation. But hadn't that always been the way with Gail? The passion burnt bright, intense like a white heat. Then there was that look of vulnerability before Gail fled back to the party, the momentary letting down of her guard, which always got to Holly

Steph was nice and straightforward, uncomplicated, but Holly didn't want uncomplicated. She wanted Gail Peck. Which was the stupidest thing in the whole world because she had no idea where Gail was or who she was these days. But damn if she couldn't stop thinking about those blue blue eyes and just how badass Gail looked standing in the alleyway in those tight jeans and that leather jacket. 

Oh she had it bad, Holly thought. Three years hadn't done anything to lessen her desire for the blonde officer. Except, she wasn't an officer anymore. She was, what? A wife? Holly shook her head. Nothing was making any sense. How did Gail know about the job offer from Dunant and Co? Was she working for them? But in what capacity? Maybe her husband was. Holly could see him fitting right in with the Dunant execs. 

So why did Gail warn her off? If she or her husband were working for Dunant, maybe Gail didn't want to run into Holly at the office, but then why kiss her like it meant something? And Holly knew real concern when she saw it. Gail seemed sincere when she said Dunant and Co were bad news. Uggh. The whole thing made her head spin.

Deciding she needed to eat, Holly opened the fridge and surveyed the meager pickings. She could make a salad but a quick look in the crisper confirmed the vegetables were limp. An omelet? The eggs were way past their use by date. Normally she took good care of herself, ate well, but that meeting with Gail had really thrown her. She realized she hadn't done a proper shop for weeks, instead existing on take out. Holly sighed. It would be at least a half hour wait to have food delivered and she couldn’t be bothered going out. So she reached for the granola and yogurt, which fortunately was one day off expiry. Still she did a quick sniff test. Breakfast for dinner. She felt like a student again.

Holly took her bowl through to the living room and flicked on the TV. That's when she saw it. The news about Dunant and Co. A huge FBI raid. Julian Crozier being led away in cuffs. Charged with war profiteering and funneling money to terrorist organizations.

Holly's spoon clunked in the bowl. She realized then she'd dropped it and was now splattered with yogurt. Grabbing a handful of tissues, she did her best to clean herself up. Did Gail somehow know about this? Is that why she warned Holly off? Oh shit, what if Gail did work for Dunant and was involved? Holly went cold. Was that why Gail cut her hair and changed her look? Was she on the run? 

No, she couldn't believe Gail would get involved in stuff like this. Serve and protect was practically tattooed on her heart. Blood in her veins, and it wasn't just because of Elaine's pushing. Holly knew Gail took her duty seriously. Could something have happened in Toronto that made her do a 180-degree turn? Traci had more or less said Gail had fled because things had got so bad. 

Fuck, she felt so helpless. Why had she ever left Toronto? It wasn't like her life here was that great. It was just work, work, work. A few half-hearted attempts at relationships, not much of a social life because of the overtime, and a constant feeling of being overworked. Why had she thought it was a good idea leaving Gail? 

The raid had rolling coverage. Holly scanned the news reports for a glimpse of that blonde hair. Later she’d wonder if it was fateful she cancelled her date. It was like she had a radar whenever Gail was in trouble. Maybe it was a sixth sense, except she was a scientist and didn’t believe in that kind of thing. 

The following day Holly checked in with a detective she knew from downtown. She’d prioritized a few jobs for him and he owed her a favor or two. As far as he could determine, no women were arrested in the bust. He didn’t ask Holly why she needed to know and for that she was grateful. Grateful too that she hadn’t taken that job with Dunant and Co. It wasn’t just because Gail warned her off, though to be honest it had contributed to the decision.

.....................................

Two months later, Holly was in New York for a conference. At least the budget had stretched to that, although she had to pay for her own accommodation. She found a place in Little Italy through Airbnb. Up four flights of stairs, the pink linoleum squares lifting at the edges, her suitcase bumping behind her. A baby was crying incessantly on the second floor. Thinking back to her pediatrics rotation, it sounded like colic. 

Making her way down the narrow corridor to her apartment, Holly became aware of two dogs snuffling and snorting behind the door of the apartment opposite. As she placed the key in the lock to her own apartment, the dogs began to yap maniacally and then stopped abruptly when a woman roused on them in a language Holly didn’t recognize. At least her studio apartment was clean. Small but it was all she needed.

On her last night in New York, Holly met an old friend from med school and her girlfriend. They had a pleasant enough dinner and then the couple insisted on taking Holly to a well-known gay bar. ‘You can’t come to New York and not go. It’s an institution,’ Diana, her med school friend, pressed.

They hadn’t been there long when Holly spotted her. Sitting with a group of women, at least eight of them, in a corner booth. The woman next to Gail had her arm slung casually around Gail’s shoulder. Holly couldn’t tell if it was just a friendly gesture or meant more. It was uncharacteristically familiar for Gail. Generally she liked her personal space. Gail was animated though, telling a story with lots of hand moments. Which was also uncharacteristic. Normally Gail was subdued in large groups, aside from making sardonic remarks about the idiocy of the people around her. The women in the group were in her thrall, and at regular intervals bursts of laughter would drift across from the booth to where Holly was sitting.

It was the Gail of the alleyway. Same leather jacket and combat boots. Blonde hair possibly cut even shorter. Gail had a smirk on her face. Like she was pleased with herself for pulling something off. Other people would think she was smiling, but Holly knew that expression. 

Holly excused herself to go to the bathroom. Entering a stall, she half expected Gail to push in behind her and then realized it was wishful thinking. Fuck, when had she become so desperate, Holly thought. She wasn’t the type of girl to sit around pining for someone she couldn’t have. It was pathetic. She and Gail had split, agreed they didn’t have a future together and gone their separate ways. But then Gail had to go and kiss her at party and disappear and Holly couldn’t get her out of her head.

Back at the table, Holly kept shooting what she hoped were covert glances in Gail’s direction. Gail didn’t seem to be aware of the scrutiny or indeed to have noticed Holly at all. Holly knew she was being a bad guest, distractedly answering questions and making very little effort to join the conversation. Not long after, she excused herself, saying she had an early flight. Which was actually true. She didn’t miss the look of relief on Diana’s face, which was mirrored by her girlfriend’s expression.

As Holly made her way out of the bar and down the dimly lit passageway leading to the street, she felt a breath upon her neck, like a whisper.

‘Don’t turn round,’ Gail murmured, ‘where are you staying?’

She was standing so close it was like she was touching Holly. Instinctively, Holly started to turn but Gail placed an arm around her waist, holding her in place. Holly couldn’t help it, at Gail’s touch, at the feel of her body so nearly pressed against her back, a shiver ran through her.

‘Why?’ Holly said, pleased at how defiant, even angry she sounded, when in truth all she wanted to do was turn around and cup Gail’s face and kiss and kiss and kiss her.

‘I want to see you,’ Gail said, seemingly unperturbed by Holly’s curt response, her arm still around Holly’s waist. 

And damn if Holly didn’t give Gail the address of where she was staying. I’m putty in her hands, she thought, I’m powerless to resist. It’s like Gail is my kryptonite.

Gail gave a soft chuckle. ‘I’m not your kryptonite, nerd.’

Fuck, had she said that aloud, Holly wondered, mortified.

‘It will be late when I come over. Is that okay?’ Gail asked, a note of apology, or was it shyness, in her voice.

Holly nodded. Then Gail leaned in from behind, and took Holly’s earlobe between her teeth, pulling slightly, before running her tongue around the shell of Holly’s ear. Then she was gone. 

Holly showered once she got back to the studio apartment. Then she reproached herself for being such a pushover. Anyway, Gail had just said she wanted to see her. That didn’t necessarily mean sex. It shouldn’t mean sex. No, they definitely wouldn’t have sex. Not when, apart from Gail’s brief and baffling appearance in San Francisco, they hadn’t seen each other for three years. Not when Holly had absolutely no fucking clue what was going on with Gail. 

Still, Holly found herself deliberating over what to wear and finally threw on an over-sized t-shirt and yoga pants. Then she packed her bag. Then she paced for a bit, stopping every now and then to look out of the window and down the street. New York was lovely at this time of year. Late spring before the heat had set in and anyone who could afford it had left the city for somewhere cooler. The muted sounds of people chatting and laughing as they returned home from cafes and bars floated up, interspersed by the occasional toot of a horn from the main road at the end of the street.

Finally Holly pulled out her laptop to work on a journal article. After about fifteen minutes, she realized she wasn’t focusing and gave up. By then it was after midnight so she went to bed and fell into a fitful sleep. Gail probably wasn’t coming and that was probably a good thing, right, Holly told herself. Except she couldn’t stop the sag of disappointment pulling heavily at her gut. 

Holly woke an hour later to find Gail sitting on the end of the bed. The room was almost completely dark but for the pastel light refracted from a neon sign on the building opposite.

‘Shit, you scared me,’ Holly said, sitting up in alarm, her pulse racing.

‘I’m sorry,’ Gail said softly, not moving from her position.

‘How did you get in?’

Gail shrugged.

Then Holly did something completely unexpected, at least to her. She pushed back the covers and crawled over to Gail and did what she had wanted to do in the bar. She kissed her. Over and over until Gail was pushing her back on the bed and pulling Holly’s t-shirt up over her head, and shrugging out of her own clothes, and Holly knew this was all wrong but then it felt just so right. Like perfection.

Afterwards they lay together, holding each other close. A languorous contentment overtook Holly, a feeling she hadn’t experienced since she and Gail were together in Toronto. Later, she blamed this feeling, the delightful sluggishness suffusing her, for her failure to grill Gail more closely.

‘So you live in New York?’ Holly asked casually. God, so many questions and this is what she asked.

Gail shook her head.

‘So where is home now?’

Gal shrugged. ‘I’m itinerant.’

‘A gun for hire?’ Holly ventured, wondering if she were overstepping.

Gail’s lips twitched in amusement. ‘If you like.’

Holly crinkled her brow. ‘When did you become such a woman of mystery?’

‘I’m not. I’m just a drifter. No fixed address. No real job. No ties. Nothing mysterious about that.’ Gail leant in and kissed Holly, lazily and at length, and then she ran her hand down Holly’s stomach and further still and Holly found herself melting once more. I am putty in her hands, Holly decided just before she once again became incapable of thought, assailed as she was by wave after wave of the most intense sensations. 

Light was just starting to come through the window when Holly woke again. Gail was once more sitting on the end of the bed, dressed now and pulling on her boots.

‘You’re leaving?’ Holly said, unable to conceal the hurt and the incredulity she felt.

‘Work. They called. I really have to go.’ Gail looked at Holly apologetically. 

Don’t you dare say you’re sorry again, Holly thought, sitting up and reaching for her t-shirt. She wanted to shout at Gail, to tell her this wasn’t fair, that Gail owed her an explanation. Then she saw Gail hesitate and worry at her bottom lip, biting it quite hard.

‘Are you in trouble, Gail?’

‘No,’ Gail said. She screwed up her face as if astounded Holly would even think that. ‘It’s just work. I‘ve really gotta go. I’m.’

‘Don’t say you’re sorry, Gail,’ Holly cut in, her voice cold, mean even.

‘But I am.’

‘What is actually going on here?’

‘I,’ Gail was standing now, ‘I have to go. I wish I could explain. I wanted to talk last night but then,’ she trailed off.

But then Holly thought she had practically jumped Gail and there had been no talking after that. Gail bit her lip again.

‘Holly I, I,’ she stopped then and looked at the floor, ‘you should take the job in Toronto. I reckon, things will get tighter here moneywise under the new administration.’ 

‘You think Justin Trudeau will look after me?’ Holly found herself saying when really she should have been asking Gail how she knew she had applied for a job back with the Ontario Forensic Department.

Gail gave a little laugh. ‘Yeah. Holly, I’ve always, I.’ Then Holly’s alarm, which she set the night before, went off, interrupting Gail. Holly reached for her phone, but even before she had a chance to mute the alarm, Gail was speaking again. ‘You have a plane to catch. I gotta go,’ she said. 

Then Gail was gone. What the fuck had just happened again, Holly thought, and why was she convinced Gail was about to say she loved her? And how could Gail even contemplate saying it when she was so elusive?

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm guessing, like Holly, you want to find out more....???


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> Thanks for all your comments, subscriptions, bookmark and kudos and encouragement to keep writing this. I’m trying to keep the chapters in this fic shorter than in ‘Breaking Through’, which has turned into something of an epic, however I wasn’t too successful with that this chapter around, so it is a bit longer. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Thanks to snarcasm318 for the excellent advise re various medical things in this chapter. I won’t say anymore otherwise there will be spoilers. If any medical details are incorrect, it’s totally my error. Apologies for any other mistakes too.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Holly placed her hands on her hips and surveyed the bookcase. No, that shelf should definitely not be sticking out at a right angle like that. But how to fix it, or more to the point, where to begin? She'd followed the 20-page instruction booklet with its gazillion steps to a T, some of which saw her having to twist her body like a contortionist to place a bolt in just the right spot.

Why had she thought it was a good idea to buy a funky bookcase with an irregular arrangement of shelves? Holly had read the instructions through carefully, not once but twice, until she was confident she had a conceptual grasp on the whole thing. Then she'd grouped the screws and bolts and cam locks and little wooden pegs by size and ordered the shelves according to their numbered sticker. Once she had begun to assemble the bookcase, Holly was careful at each step to match the correct screws and bolts and cam locks and little wooden pegs and the shelving with those indicated in the relevant diagram.

God, she could dissect a body and put it back together again, how the fuck could a DIY from IKEA defeat her? A flare of anger overtook Holly's frustration. This was all Gail fucking Peck's fault. If it weren't for her, Holly wouldn't have come back to Toronto and wouldn't be standing in her living room at 11.15 at night feeling like she wanted to kick this stupid bookcase until it was a pile of splinters. Which was totally out of character because Holly was normally a fairly calm and rational person, so she decided to blame Gail for that as well. And if it weren't for Gail Peck, Holly could be having a nice dinner right now with a woman who was smart, attractive and had made her interest in Holly quite clear.

It was one of Lisa's set-ups. Lisa had asked Holly for a drink and when Holly showed there was Lisa sitting with Monica, an orthopedic surgeon it transpired she knew from the hospital. Holly shouldn't have been surprised. Lisa had told her the only way to get over that blonde police officer, 'oh that's right disgraced former police officer' she'd added with a sneer, was for Holly to put herself out there.

After two drinks, Lisa excused herself, saying with a sly wink in Holly's direction, 'Just because I've got other plans, it doesn't mean your evening has to end. Don't let me stop you two having fun.'

Monica suggested dinner but Holly begged off, saying she was starting a new job in the morning and really should have an early night. 'You know create the right impression and all,' she said.

'I thought Lisa said you were going back to your old job in the Forensics Department?' Monica asked.

'No, same department but it's a promotion so I really should do the responsible thing.'

Monica didn't conceal her disappointment. 'Can I at least get your number and we could do dinner another time?'

Holly sighed. 'I don't know what Lisa told you, but I'm not really interested in dating right now.'

It wasn't just a case of being disinterested but it would be totally unfair to date anyone when all Holly could think about was Gail fucking Peck. So instead of a nice dinner out, she went home, heated up some leftovers, which probably should have been binned, and surveyed the remaining packing boxes left in her living room. They mainly contained books. Before Holly could unpack them, she needed to make the bookcase she'd purchased from IKEA that morning. Which was how Holly found herself at 11.15 at night cursing Gail Peck and with a bookcase that was supposed to be funky but just not this funky.

Holly had read about a psychologist who specialized in couples' therapy and who sent her clients to IKEA to purchase and then assemble a piece of furniture and recorded the entire exercise. The psychologist claimed it revealed a lot about how a relationship was working or not. Holly wondered how she and Gail would fare. Gail would no doubt pay someone to construct it and suggest they have sex instead. She wondered what the psychologist would make of that.

'You're not a very good lesbian, Holly,' said a voice from behind her. Gail. Great, now she imagining Gail was here. And of course, even make-believe Gail teased her.

'Why is that?' Holly asked out loud, faintly amused and sure she knew what Gail was going to say next. She wasn't wrong.

'I thought lesbians were good at DIY,' Gail said, and then gasped as if in pain.  
Holly turned. She didn't know why because this was imaginary Gail, the Gail who lived in her head and just wouldn't leave, not even when Holly raged and threatened and certainly not when she asked nicely. Weird her hair was black. Even if it did set off the blue of Gail's eyes, Holly didn't understand why she'd made that up. Except it wasn't dream Gail standing there. No the woman standing with a red stain spreading across the left side of her shirt and who if possible was even paler than normal, the woman swaying slightly as if she were about to faint, was very real.

'Sorry, I think I've dripped blood on your floor,' Gail said and then she did faint.

By the time Gail came round, Holly had cut away the bloody shirt and discovered the knife wound in her shoulder. Not too deep but deep enough that Gail needed to get to a hospital.

'Sorry,' Gail said.

'I hope that wasn't your favorite shirt,' Holly said, not sure why she was trying for levity in a situation like this. Gail tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

'Any excuse to get my clothes off,' Gail croaked.

Which, in other circumstances, was sadly true, Holly thought wryly.

'It's not sad,' Gail said, using the arm on her uninjured side to feebly gesture to her body, 'it's totally understandable.'

Shit, she'd said that aloud, Holly thought, feeling the heat creep up her neck to her face. Unless Gail had developed mind reading powers, which was a scary idea given Holly seemed to have absolutely no filter when it came to her.

'Honey,' Holly said, pressing a towel to the wound, 'we have to go to the hospital. This needs suturing.'

'No hospitals,' Gail said, her eyes fluttering again. She was clearly getting weaker and her brow was lined with sweat.

'I know how much you hate hospitals but,' Holly began.

'No,' Gail interrupted loudly and with considerable effort, 'I can't go to a hospital. They'll trace me there.'

'Who'll trace you here?'

'It doesn't matter,' Gail said, trying to rise from the floor, where Holly had propped some cushions behind her head. Gail fell back with a groan and Holly couldn't determine whether it was in exasperation or pain, and finally decided it was a combination of both. The wound was deep enough to hurt like hell so Gail was either still operating on adrenalin, in shock or putting on a very brave face.

'Come on let's get you to the sofa,' Holly helped Gail to stand. Given the stab wound was above the heart, if Gail were sitting upright it would slow the flow of blood.

'I can't stay,' Gail said, teetering a little, 'I have to go.'

'You can barely stand. I don't think you're going anywhere unless it's the hospital,' Holly steered Gail to the couch and pressed a fresh towel to the wound. It was then she smelt the alcohol on Gail's breath.

'You've been drinking?'

'Sorry. Yes. A bit. More than I meant too. That's why my reflexes were too slow.'  
'It explains why you're bleeding so much. Alcohol thins the blood. And what do you mean your reflexes were too slow?'

'Doesn't matter,' Gail winced, 'I shouldn't have come here. It was stupid. I'm sorry. You're the last person I want to put in danger. I am so sorry.'

Gail was doing that apologizing thing again. Every time Holly had seen Gail – in San Francisco, New York and now here in Toronto – Gail had repeatedly said sorry like she was powerless to prevent what was about to unfold. And yet her remorse didn't stop her bobbing up uninvited and without warning in Holly's life and then almost immediately vanishing with no explanation.

Still, Holly wanted to trust her instinct and her instinct was telling her Gail felt the undeniable pull between the two of them. Just as Holly did. It was like a filament connecting them, which no matter how thin it became, no matter the distance or passage of time separating the two of them, drew them inexorably together. So was Gail apologizing for her inability to stay away from Holly when for whatever reason she clearly couldn't stick around for long, shouldn't even, in fact, be here.

'What is going on, Gail? If someone's after you we can call the police or your friends at 15,' Holly said calmly, even though she felt anything but composed.

'No police,' Gail said adamantly, once again trying to rise from the sofa and falling back because she was too weak. 'You may as well throw me to the wolves,' she added quietly.

Holly bit her lip and considered for a moment. She was about to do something really stupid. It could cost Holly her career, but this was Gail, and Gail wouldn't avoid the hospital or police just because she was being churlish. No, there had to be a good reason. Holly might be mad at Gail for sweeping back into her life five months ago and basically turning it upside down, but there was no way she would do anything to put Gail at risk.

Okay, so until Gail showed up again, Holly's life had stagnated a bit and was, if she were completely honest, in danger of becoming downright dull. If she picked up an interesting case, her supervisor, who left the more mundane work to his underlings, quickly snapped it up. Holly knew she was being under utilized and, despite the insane workload, was bored. So in truth, Gail's fleeting reappearances had given a tantalizing glimpse of what life could be. What that vision hadn't included was Gail standing bleeding in her living room, quite possibly a fugitive from the law.

'Okay,' Holly said finally, 'I can suture this. Though I have to warn you, I'm out of practice. I haven't had to suture anyone since med school.'

'You sew up dead people practically every second day,' Gail said, trying for a smile but not quite managing.

'Yeah and that's the point - they're dead.'

'Well, that might not be a problem for much longer because it's quite possible I'll be dead soon if you don't stitch me up,' Gail said with a hint of her usual snark.

'Oh, yes. Right,' Holly stood and nervously pushed her glasses back up her nose. 'It's gonna hurt but I think I've got some painkillers you can take. And the fact you've been drinking will help take the edge off.'

Half an hour later, Holly was ready to start suturing. Rummaging through her bathroom cabinet she had found some Percocet an ER doctor had insisted on giving her after she sliced her hand during an autopsy four months back. A clumsy mistake, and yes she had been thinking about Gail at the time because the detective on the case had something of Gail's snark and was valiantly trying to flirt with Holly. Next she dug out a suture pack left over from her med school days. Her forensic kit supplied the gloves and saline solution, which she used to clean the wound.

When she gave Gail the Percocet, Gail asked if she could have tequila with it.

'Not a good idea,' Holly admonished gently, handing Gail a glass of water, 'we'll have to wait about 30 minutes for the Percocet to take affect.'

'Will it make me loopy?' Gail asked in a small voice.

'Possibly, it does contain oxycodone but the alternative is a shitload of pain. And, I don't care how badass you think you are Gail Peck, I'm not willing to suture you unless you take the painkillers.'

Gail looked as if she were about to protest but when she saw how determined Holly was she stopped. 'Alright,' she said, as if doing Holly an enormous favor, 'but you know how I get on pain meds.' Holly nodded, remembering the time she collected Gail from the hospital after the grow house bust. 'You can't ask any questions about any of this.' Again Gail waved her good arm about in a feeble gesture.

'Or you'll have to kill me,' Holly teased.

'Quite possibly,' Gail said so dryly Holly couldn't tell if she were joking or not.

'Duly noted,' Holly said, handing over the tablets.

It didn't take long for the Percocet to take effect and for Gail to become glassy eyed. When Holly finished suturing, Gail looked at her goofily and said, 'skillful hands.'

Holly laughed. 'I bet that's what you say to all the girls.'

Gail regarded her from under heavy eyelids. 'Remember Holly. No questions.' She articulated the words like a drunk trying to sound sober but failing spectacularly, all the while holding up an index finger, which she waggled at Holly warningly, except it looked comical rather than intimidating.

So even asking Gail about other girls was off limits. Holly knew there had been others. Traci had told her. And actually she didn't want to ask questions about those other girls because even the thought of them made something bitter and indissoluble lodge in her heart.

'Is that some kind of sculpture?' Gail asked abruptly, screwing up her face and pointing at the misshapen bookcase, seeming to have forgotten she'd seen it when she first arrived, 'I hope you didn't pay a lot of money for that Holly because it's shit.'

Holly laughed. 'It's a bookcase.'

'Really?' Gail turned her head to one side and squinted 'I don't see that.' Gail smiled at Holly goofily again, like she was the most enchanting thing she'd ever laid eyes upon. Then she starting humming and then singing, quietly at first but before long Holly was able to make out the words.

'I was alone thinking I was just fine  
I wasn't looking for anyone to be mine  
I thought love was just a fabrication  
A train that wouldn't stop at my station  
Home, alone, that was my consignment  
Solitary confinement  
So when we met I was skirting around you  
I didn't know I was looking for love  
Until I found you,' Gail sang and then stopped abruptly and blushed.

Had Gail deliberately chosen this song for Holly? Was Gail in her usual indirect way actually saying she loved her? Which would confirm Holly's sense that Gail was about to tell her this very thing in New York just before she left Holly in the early hours of the morning, saying work had summonsed her and she needed to go. 

Or was it just a random song, something that had popped into her drug-addled head? But then why the blushing? Did Gail keep coming back because she was in love with Holly? Well, maybe not this time. This time she came to be stitched up. Holly sighed. She'd promised Gail she wouldn't take advantage of her drugged state but this was too good an opportunity to pass up. Plus Gail owed her some answers, she reasoned.

'So what happened to your husband?' she asked.

Gail regarded her for a long moment, seemingly gathering her wits.

'I never married Nick. He left me at the alter. You know that Holly because that's what people do. Everyone goes. Poof. Like magic. Like someone waves a wand and they disappear into thin air.' Gail clicked her fingers.

'I thought that was your trick,' Holly said more acerbically than she intended because she didn't want to confront the fact she was one of the one's who left.

Gail looked at Holly quizzically.

'You know being elusive,' Holly clarified.

'I'm not elusive,' Gail whined, 'I just have to be places.'

'Yeah,' Holly said, tilting her head to one side and smiling skeptically.

'Don't do that.'

'Do what?'

'The head thing and the smile,' Gail waved her hand in a circle to indicate Holly's face, 'it makes me want to tell you things.'

'Yeah.'

'And kiss you but I shouldn't kiss you. No, no not supposed to.'

'Because you're married.'

'Nuh-uh never married.'

'So the guy at the Dunant cocktail party?'

'Work,' Gail pronounced, 'pretend husband. But shhh,' she held a finger to her lips and looked at Holly earnestly, 'no telling.'

'Okay,' Holly said gently, 'and the woman in the bar in New York?'

'Work,' Gail pronounced again, 'pretend girlfriend.'

'So what are you, some kind of escort?'

Gail laughed and laughed and then she stopped. 'Really,' she quirked an eyebrow at Holly, 'really you thought that?'

'I'm just trying to understand,' Holly began.

'Can't tell. Not allowed,' Gail said with finality, sounding like she was all of six years old. She yawned and curled into the sofa. 'Too many questions. Sleep now.' Then she closed her eyes but a moment later they popped open. 'I'm going to have nightmares. Sorry.' Then Gail shut her eyes again and within moments her breathing became deep and steady.

Holly felt like kicking herself. Of course, pain meds gave Gail nightmares. Holly had learnt that the night of the grow house bust when she took Gail home from the hospital and settled her in the guest room. Gail high on oxy was mildly amusing – especially her drolly entertaining stories about Andy wouldn't hurt a fly McNally and her relentless, somewhat tragic pursuit of true love. The nightmares, however, were not the least bit funny. Flashbacks, Holly had surmised, after she'd rushed into the guest bedroom to find Gail wild-eyed, the panic making it hard for her to comprehend it was Holly and the threat was over.

It was only after they started dating that Holly found out about the kidnapping. The lab techs were terrible gossips and one day when they saw Holly returning from lunch with Gail, one of them said, 'she's the cop who was taken by Perick, isn't she. Only one of his victims to survive,' and everything fell into place.

So now, not only were the pain meds guaranteed to take Gail back to that dark basement, Holly had to go and ask her if she was an escort. The very thing Gail was pretending to be when Perick took her. Not that she believed for a moment Gail was an escort but there had to be an explanation for all this moving around, moving in different circles and in different cities.

Maybe Gail wasn't being facetious when she half-heartedly agreed with Holly's description of her as a gun for hire. Or was Gail so deep undercover she couldn't trust any of her old colleagues at 15, couldn't even trust Holly with that information? Was Gail working for good or...? Holly stopped herself, unable to complete the thought. She couldn't and didn't want to imagine Gail on the wrong side of the law. Suddenly she wasn't sure if she wanted answers to her questions.

Holly checked Gail's pulse. Steady. Stronger than before. There were no signs of shock. Gail was no longer sweating and something of her color had returned. The worry now was infection, which meant Holly needed to get hold of some antibiotics. She could go to her doctor and fake an ailment but that would mean waiting until tomorrow for the antibiotics and she didn't want to risk infection setting in overnight. She could go to the ER herself but chances are they might not give her a script, even if Holly was fairly certain she could come up with a convincing story. In any case, she didn't want to leave Gail alone and the wait at the ER could be hours.

Then it hit Holly. Her two best friends were doctors. Surely she could rely on Rachel at least to be discrete. She reached for her phone to call and then remembered Rachel was out of town, which left her with Lisa. Desperate times called for desperate measures, Holly thought, not feeling the least bit certain as she put the call through to Lisa.

'I need your help,' Holly said without preamble when Lisa picked up. It sounded like she'd woken her, which wasn't surprising given it was now after midnight. Still Lisa didn't miss a beat.

'Well good morning to you too, Holly,' she said, 'what are you doing calling at this hour? Desperate for Monica's number.'

'Look, Lisa I want you to listen very carefully,' Holly said impatiently, ignoring Lisa's jibe, 'I need you to do something and I need you not to ask any questions.'

'That's a big ask,' Lisa said. She paused and Holly heard her sit up in bed.

'We're best friends, right,' Holly didn't wait for an answer, 'and I have uncomplainingly taken a lot of your shit over the years which means you owe me and I'm calling in the favor.'

'Cloak and danger much,' Lisa said sarcastically, but then sounded a little put out, 'you didn't need to threaten. Of course I'll help you.'

'Okay, well good,' Holly exhaled heavily, only then realizing she'd been holding her breath, 'I need you to write me a prescription for a broad spectrum antibiotic and bring it here now.'

'Now? It's nearly one am in the morning, Hols. What do you need with antibiotics anyway? Did you pick up an STI in San Francisco?'

'I said no questions,' Holly said, realizing she was echoing Gail's words, 'can you do it?'

'Yeah, okay,' Lisa grumbled, 'I'll be at your place in twenty minutes.'

Holly spent the next twenty minutes pacing and cursing to herself. This was a dumb idea. She should never have involved Lisa. How was she going to explain away Gail? Holly could hide her in the bedroom, but she didn't want to disturb the sleeping woman so soon after suturing her.

Okay, so Gail's hair was black now. If Holly pulled the blanket currently draped over Gail right up to her chin, Lisa might not see who it was. Then Holly could say she was a friend from San Francisco who had taken ill and needed antibiotics. But then Lisa would want to know why it was so urgent and why Holly had been so mysterious on the phone.

Finally, Holly decided she wouldn't let Lisa into the apartment. That was the solution. She'd meet her at the door, take the script, thank her and promise to explain later and then she'd send Lisa on her way. Except that meant leaving Gail alone while she went to get the antibiotics. There was nothing for it. Holly would just have to be quick. How many people could possibly be getting scripts filled at the all night drug store anyway?

Except it didn't work out that way. When Holly opened the door, Lisa sailed past her and down the short entrance way and into the living room.

'You should pay someone to assemble that properly for you,' Lisa said, gesturing to the half-made bookcase. Then she stopped dead. 'What the fuck Holly, is that the beat cop,' she said pointing to the sofa. In the time it had taken Holly to answer the door, Gail had shifted so her face was fully exposed.

'Shh,' Holly admonished, 'don't wake her.' She urgently motioned Lisa to follow her into the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

'What the fuck is going on Holly?' Lisa at least had the decency to speak in a stage whisper.

'Gail's injured. A stab wound. I sutured it.'

'You sutured it,' Lisa echoed in surprise, 'and she's here and not in a hospital because?'

'Just trust me on this Lisa,' Holly looked beseechingly at her friend.

'Holly are you crazy? Gail was practically kicked off the force. The whole Peck family is corrupt. Everyone knows that. Think about what you're risking - your career for starters. Your IQ is off the chart, so what is it about this woman that makes you do stupid things?'

'Lisa I'm not,' Holly stopped. Lisa was right. This was stupid. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Holly. Normally it was Holly and Rachel who were the voice of rationality and who talked Lisa down, talked some sense into her, more often than not saving herself from herself.

It struck Holly then and she wondered why it had taken her so long to figure it out. Why she hadn't put two and two together because dammit she was an intelligent woman but her IQ seemed to take a nosedive when it came to matters of the heart. But that feeling of emptiness when she got to San Francisco, the inability, in fact, the unwillingness to sustain a relationship, the way she couldn't get Gail out of her head, out of her system, meant one thing and one thing only. Gail was the love of her life and Holly would go to any lengths to protect her. As she turned this revelation over in her mind, like you would handle a precious stone, feeling the reassuring almost familiar smoothness and yet the wonder at its beauty, Holly wasn't alarmed or surprised. Instead, she felt a calm and a resolve descend upon her.

'So she's broken the law. We need to call the police,' Lisa cut into Holly's thoughts. Lisa began to reach into her pocket for her phone.

'No. No, police' Holly said firmly, 'if you turn her in, then I'll be charged with harboring a fugitive.'

'So she is a fugitive.'

'No. Shit I don't know,' Holly admitted miserably, in this moment hating the fact she found it so hard to lie, 'but are you prepared to risk me going to prison.'

'Well, I guess you won't mind going to jail if they put you and blondie, wait she isn't blonde anymore, whatever, as long as the two of you are in the same cell,' Lisa smirked.

Holly made an exasperated face at Lisa.

'Okay, okay,' Lisa held up her hands in mock surrender' 'if she isn't a fugitive why can't she go the hospital?'

'I have a feeling she's really deep undercover,' Holly said, not sure that this was true but for some reason certain Gail wasn't an outlaw.

'Like on some secret mission?' Lisa asked. When Holly nodded, Lisa said 'that's kinda cool.' Lisa regarded her for a beat. 'I've never seen you like this Holly. You love her don't you?' Holly nodded again, because what else could she do. It was the truth. She loved Gail Peck.

'Here,' Lisa dug into her bag and produced a piece of paper which she handed to Holly, 'it's a script for Augmentin. Go get it filled. I'll watch the fugitive.'

'You'll stay here with Gail?'

'Well, it's probably best she's not left alone and given it's illegal for me to fill a script I've written, I don't think we have any other choice.'

'Uh yeah okay,' Holly agreed reluctantly, 'I won't be long, and if Gail wakes up, you be nice. Do you promise.'

'Alright, alright. Just go Holly so I can go home and get back to bed.'

The all night drug store was only a ten-minute drive but the number of people queuing to have prescriptions filled was surprisingly big. Forty minutes passed before Holly heard her name called. During the wait, she found herself worrying at her bottom lip and alternately pacing and tapping her foot. She knew she probably seemed suspicious, like some strung out junky, and the pharmacist gave her a curious look as he handed over the antibiotics.

Holly was halfway home when she saw the random breath-testing station. Sure enough, she was waved over by a police officer. As she rolled down her window she saw it was Chris Diaz. Shit. Could her luck get any worse? Chris Diaz, the man-child who was so earnestly helpful. Holly couldn't remember if he was a country boy but he had the air and manner of one. Tall and broad and handsome, and unfailing polite if a little gullible. She really couldn't picture Chris and Gail together. Gail mentioned he got mixed up in drugs at one point, so Holly guessed he wasn't quite as wholesome as he looked.

'Oh hey Dr Stewart,' Chris said with surprise, 'I heard you were back. You're out late. Don't tell me you've got a case already.'

Okay, Holly told herself, Chris had no reason to be suspicious of her, and his query was a pleasantry, there was nothing calculating or underhanded about it. This random breath test was exactly that, random. So there was no need to get flustered. She just had to play it cool and that meant coming up with a plausible excuse for being out at this hour. She recalled Gail saying criminals always came undone when they told elaborate lies. If you want to deceive someone, Gail said, you needed to stick as close as possible to the truth.

'I had to go to the drug store,' Holly made a face hoping Chris would assume she needed to buy tampons.

Evidently he did because he backed up a little and then said a tad too quickly, 'Oh, sure, sure. Well, um have you been drinking tonight Dr Stewart?'

'It's Holly,' she smiled, not sure how she was managing to do anything other than grimace given her heart was hammering in her chest so violently she was sure Chris must have heard it. 'I had two beers around six pm.'

'So nothing since then Doct um Holly.'

'Nothing,' Holly shook her head. Just a ton of near paralyzing fear and adrenalin, but she wasn't going to tell Chris about that.

'Um Holly, can I get you to blow into this,' Chris held out the breathalyzer and Holly dutifully blew into it.

'Alright,' Chris said holding up the device, 'you're okay to go. I guess we'll be seeing you round. It's good to have you back.'

'It's good to be back,' Holly said, managing to smile again. She gave Chris a little wave, which she knew looked completely lame. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her antics, Holly pulled out into the traffic and checked the time. Shit. She'd left home over an hour ago.

When Holly unlocked the door to her apartment she was greeted by an odd sight. Down the short entranceway to the living room, Holly could see Lisa with her arms raised in the air, holding her phone in one hand. The expression on her face was one of abject terror. Once Holly made her way into the living room, she understood why. Gail was still on the sofa, but sitting up now, and she had a gun pointed at Lisa.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters...
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions and bookmarks. Keep the comments coming - I love to know what you think.
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes. Enjoy.

Calmly, oh so calmly and sounding not in the least how she felt, Holly said, ‘what’s happening here?’ The words so bland it was like she were inquiring after the weather or asking a waiter to top up her water glass.

Lisa opened her mouth then shut it immediately. Some part of Holly’s brain registered that she had never seen the plastic surgeon speechless. Even when they were med students in the OR, hastily scrambling to answer questions about the procedure fired at them by the surgeons. The surgeons who believed they were gods and liked nothing better than to dismiss med students with ‘and you’ve just killed the patient Miss Stewart.’ Even then, even in that pressure cooker that was the OR, Lisa always came up with some kind of credible response

‘Gail?’ Holly said, a little more sharply, ‘what’s happening here?’

‘Lisa needs to give me her phone,’ Gail said, not lowering the gun.

‘Okay, why don’t you put the gun down and I’ll get the phone,’ Holly said, her voice placatory, cajoling like she was trying to reason with a tired child. The glassiness hadn’t quite left Gail’s eyes and Holly guessed she was still a little hopped up on the painkillers.

‘Nuh uh,’ Gail shook her head, ‘other way around. You get the phone. I’ll put the gun down. No funny business.’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake, just do it Holly,’ Lisa shrieked suddenly, throwing the phone at Gail’s feet.

Gail sniggered. ‘You’re lucky I had no intention of shooting you, Lisa,’ she said, ‘that sudden movement would have been enough to make most people pull the trigger.’

Which Holly had to concede was true. She watched as Gail reached down for the phone and winced. The effort clearly hurt.

‘Careful honey,’ the words slipped out before Holly could stop them.

‘Honey! Honey,’ Lisa screeched like a banshee, ‘you call her honey when the psycho just had a gun to my head.’

‘Careful Lisa,’ Gail said, ‘I still have the gun.’ Was that a malicious glint in Gail’s eye, Holly wondered? Well, she probably wasn’t the first person tempted to shoot Lisa.

‘Okay,’ Holly took a deep breath, ‘why do you need the phone, Gail?’ She moved over and took a seat on the couch next to Gail, hoping her presence might defuse things. As she sat, Holly realized she held no fears for her safety. She trusted Gail implicitly. 

‘She thought I was ringing the police. And I wasn’t I swear,’ Lisa said to Holly, ‘she was asleep. I had nothing to do so I was checking my voicemail.’

‘Password?’ Gail asked.

‘Oh Jesus. 7906,’ Lisa said.

‘Birth year and month. Stupid,’ Gail said as she punched in the numbers and went to Lisa’s call history. Holly had a view of the screen and saw the last call was indeed to Lisa’s voicemail. Gail hit the number and then put the phone on loudspeaker. In a moment Monica’s voice filled the room, bright and breathless.

‘Oh hi Lisa,’ Monica said, ‘um can I get Holly’s number. You’re right she’s hot. Thanks, oh and thanks for setting us up.’

Gail turned her head slowly to face Holly. ‘You were on a date?’

‘She didn’t mean anything. It was a set-up,’ Holly said, ‘well you heard that. I thought I was going for a drink with Lisa and when I arrived Monica was there. I didn’t even stay long. She wanted to go for a dinner but I wasn’t interested and decided I’d rather put the bookcase together and finish unpacking because, well because.’ Holly broke off. How could she say because all she could think of was Gail Peck?

Gail looked amused. Actually, Gail looked a lot like she wanted to kiss her, Holly realized. Oh god, she’d been rambling. She gave Gail one of those lop-sided smiles and Gail smiled back.

‘You don’t need to explain. You can date who you want,’ Gail said softly after a moment.

No I can’t, Holly thought to herself, because even though the only person I want to date is currently sitting on my couch, she is completely elusive. She disappears into thin air, like an apparition. A little, knowing smile tugged at the corner of Gail’s lips. It was almost as if she had heard what Holly was thinking. 

‘Oh for god’s sake,’ Lisa exploded, ‘would you two stop eye fucking each other or just get a room.’

Gail’s eyes shifted sideways towards Lisa and she bit back a retort. Holly, however, had no such restraint.

‘Have you forgotten Lisa,’ Holly said, each word carefully enunciated, ‘that Gail still has a gun, and if she doesn’t use it on you, I just might.’

Gail whipped her head back to face Holly. ‘I never would have shot Lisa. I took the bullets out,’ Gail reached into her pocket and pulled out the ammunition.

‘It wasn't loaded?' Lisa said, going red and bugged eyed with consternation. So much so Gail was reminded of a close-up of a fly’s head she’d had to study in science at school. 'I nearly shat myself for nothing.'

Gail shrugged nonchalantly. Lisa rolled her eyes and gave an elaborate sigh. Now it was Gail's turn to roll her eyes. Lisa huffed but it was clearly for show. Holly looked from Gail to Lisa and back again. She wasn't sure whether it was Gail's admission about the gun being unloaded, but something seemed to have shifted. While the two women were back to making plain their mutual disdain, the fact of Gail pointing a gun at Lisa seemed to now be unimportant. Although, Lisa was still glaring half-heartedly at Gail.

'What do we do now?' Holly asked.

Lisa stopped glowering at Gail. 'Now I check the sutures to make sure you did them right. Because,' Lisa held up her hand in readiness for Holly's protest, 'technically you are an amateur. Then you’ll go to sleep Holly because I'm guessing you’re expected at work in less than six hours. You need to be there and on time. You can't give anyone a reason to be suspicious. I'll stay and look out for Gail. I'm not due at work until lunchtime tomorrow.'

Holly and Gail looked at Lisa in stunned silence. Stupefied could be a good description, Holly decided.

'Why?' Gail finally asked.

'Holly said you were some kind of government agent, undercover,' Lisa shrugged as if it were no big deal, 'and I owe you one. I kinda fucked things up for you two first time round.'

'You won't get a medal for it,' Gail said drily.

'It's really covert, what you're doing,' Lisa said, leaning forward in her chair, the frisson of excitement obvious. Clearly being a boob doctor was duller than Lisa made out. Either that or Lisa needed to get out more, Holly thought. 

'Covert, yeah,' Gail agreed, nodding. To Holly, it sounded off-hand and, for the briefest of moments, she let herself wonder if Gail was telling the truth. Then Gail was speaking again.

‘You won’t turn me in?’

‘No and it’s too late now anyhow,’ Lisa said, ‘Holly and I have aided and abetted you.’

Which technically wasn’t completely true. A good defence lawyer could easily wriggle them out of that charge, Holly thought.

'Listen,’ Gail said, a sense of urgency in her voice, ‘you might hear things about me, bad things, things which aren't true. It may take a while, but it should get sorted out in the end. What I'm trying to say is what you're doing isn't wrong, no matter what people will say.'

If Gail's monologue was supposed to reassure Holly it did nothing of the kind. Might take a while to sort out. That meant Gail wouldn't be sticking around. Well, of course she wouldn't be sticking around you idiot, Holly chided herself, she was on the run. 

After that Gail began to really flag. Lisa swung into action and checked the sutures.

'Passable,' she declared after a careful appraisal, 'but your days of wearing off the shoulder dresses are over.'

Gail grunted.

'Unless you make an appointment with me after this is finished. A bit of plastic surgery will cover Holly's handiwork.’

'I like scars,' Gail said languidly, her eyes starting to roll towards sleep, 'scars are badass.'

Holly laughed because she knew Gail was saying this in her defense, as a way of deflecting Lisa's less than subtle criticism. It made Holly decide Gail would sleep with her in her bed and Lisa could take the guest room. Holly was aware she probably wouldn’t get much sleep but she didn’t care. It just felt necessary to have Gail as close to her as possible. 

Despite her injury, Gail snuggled into Holly and fell into a deep sleep almost instantly. Which was fine until Holly was woken by a piercing scream. Lisa was in the room in a flash, brandishing Holly's baseball bat, which she'd found in the guest room closet. 

'It's okay,' Holy reassured Lisa, 'painkillers give Gail nightmares.'

Gail seemed small and apologetic in her arms, but eventually they both fell back into a fitful sleep. When Holly's alarm went off at 6.30am she felt anything but rested. She just hoped it would be a quiet day and she could spend it setting up her office and sorting out logins for the computer.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Holly had only been at work a little over an hour when the call came in. A body in a warehouse. On 15’s turf. Her boss looked stressed. They were short-staffed. Rodney was on holiday, two of the other pathologists were at a house fire which had torn through a family home killing all four occupants, and another was home with vomiting kids and feeling a bit queasy herself. Holly was happy to volunteer.

‘But it’s your first day,’ Dr Bourke had said.

‘It’s my old stomping ground,’ Holly shrugged, ‘I know my way around Toronto and I still know some of the cops at 15.’

Dr Bourke had gratefully accepted the offer. The smile he gave Holly as she left with her forensic kit was warm and approving. Holly was certain her willingness to help out had just confirmed for him that hiring her was a good decision. 

As Holly got out of her car and approached the warehouse, she saw Andy McNally standing guard on the steps leading to the building’s entrance. The double door was strung with yellow crime scene tape. 

McNally. Gail had been close to her, but from what Holly could recall it was a messy friendship. Made messier still when Andy broke the code, which was about the time Gail tumbled into Holly’s life. Although, of course, Gail would argue Holly stumbled into her crime scene. Holly didn’t think Gail and Andy had ever fully recovered that friendship. It would always be tainted by betrayals.

‘Morning Dr Stewart,’ Andy said brightly, as Holly came up to the door, ‘welcome back.’

‘Oh, thanks Officer McNally.’

‘It’s Swarek now.’

‘Sorry,’ Holly said, only half focused on what McNally was saying and trying to work out why she was mentioning Detective Swarek. He must be on the case. Great. Swarek had a much higher opinion of himself than his capabilities warranted. In fact, in the past Holly had had to push him on a number of cases, get him to really look at the evidence, instead of running off all hot-headed to arrest the wrong person.

‘Sam and I got married three years ago,’ Andy said, ‘I thought Gail would have told you.’ As she said Gail’s name, Andy colored slightly, and her words petered off a little uncertainly.

‘Gail and I didn’t keep in contact,’ Holly said. Which wasn’t a lie. They hadn’t had anything to do with each other until recently when Gail had shown up out of the blue at that cocktail party. In fact up until then, they were resolutely avoiding contact.

‘Probably a good thing,’ Andy’s expression was sympathetic, ‘given what’s happened.’

‘You believe it then,’ Holly said, sounding more aggressive than she meant to, and so unlike herself, ‘that Gail is corrupt.’

Andy blinked nervously. ‘Well, um Sam feels the evidence points that way ¬–‘

‘But what about you? You were Gail’s friend. You went through the Academy together. You know her. What do you think,’ Holly interrupted, her tone pressing. She sensed she sounded far too entreating.

‘Uh,’ Andy swallowed, ‘I don’t want to believe it. I mean Gail was, well was Gail. You know, snarky and weird but she seemed really dedicated to her job. But then so did all the Pecks and look how they fooled us.’

Holly nodded slowly. ‘Gail was never like the others. She was always on the outer, even with Steve and her parents.’

‘So why is she on the run?’ Andy asked quietly. 

The question wasn’t a challenge. No, Holly got the distinct impression Andy wanted a plausible explanation for Gail’s disappearance, wanted something to prove Gail hadn’t turned like the rest of the Pecks. Even a scrap of hope this wasn’t so.

Trouble was Holly couldn’t give Andy that reassurance, especially when she felt like she needed it herself. A pointed cough drew her attention away from the officer. It was Traci, standing framed by the doorway. She gave Holly an appraising look. Holly wondered how long the detective had been standing there and how much she had heard of the conversation with Andy. 

‘The body’s through here,’ Traci said, holding up the crime scene tape so Holly could duck under.

It was clear there had been a struggle. Chairs were upturned and a table, although Holly could tell immediately the victim had been shot execution style. Hands tied behind his back, the force of the gunshot had tipped him forward. One bullet to the back of the head and half his face blown away.

‘Dani Asbar,’ Traci indicated the body, ‘we’ve had our eye on him for a while. Small time gun dealer, but it seemed he was expanding his business.’

Holly nodded and put her forensic kit down. Over on the far side of the warehouse, she noticed Sam Swarek break off from talking to a woman who had her head bowed as if concentration. It looked like a private, almost whispered exchange and Holly wondered what it was about. Probably entirely innocent, she reprimanded herself. No need to be paranoid. When the woman looked up, Holly recognized who it was. Frankie Anderson. 

The two detectives started to make their way over to Holly and Traci. Sauntered, that was the word for it, Holly decided. Except, there was something studied and a bit menacing about it. Like they were trying to out tough one another.

‘We had put together a raid for later today,’ Traci said, ‘our Intel said Asbar was due to receive a huge consignment of weapons last night. No sign of it now.’ She waved her arm around to indicate the warehouse. ‘Place has been cleared out.’

‘Apart from the body, I doubt forensics will find anything here,’ Sam said, having drawn level with Traci and Holly.

‘Yep, it’s like the professional cleanup crew has been through,’ Frankie said. Was the detective’s scowl always so unpleasant, Holly wondered, or had she soured even more in the three years Holly had been away?

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

‘Definitely shot at close range,’ Holly explained to Traci and Frankie. 

The two detectives had accompanied her to the morgue for the autopsy. Swarek was chasing a lead, Frankie said with a smirk and Holly wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, if anything at all. The sum total of Frankie’s facial expressions seemed to be a scowl and smirk. No in-between. No variations. She had lost none of her self-important air or strut and for once Holly found herself wishing Swarek was here instead. 

‘See the stellate pattern where the bullet entered the back of the skull,’ Holly pointed to the hole at the back of the victim’s head.

‘Stellate?’ Frankie said, her expression even more disagreeable, if that was possible. It was like Holly had thrust something particularly putrid under her nose. 

‘Star-shaped,’ Holly supplied, ‘it’s what we’d expect to see if someone were shot point-blank. If the muzzle is pressed against the victim when the gun is fired, hot gases and particulate matter are driven directly into the skin, producing a larger area of charring and this stel , ah star-shaped pattern.’

‘Skip the science lesson,’ Frankie said sourly, ‘shot point-blank. That’s all we need to know.’

They were one hour into the autopsy and Holly wasn’t sure how much more of Frankie Anderson she could take. Just like her expression, which swung between sour and smirking, she was alternately flirty and belligerent with Holly. 

Maybe, Frankie actually believed she was flirting this whole time. Now there was a scary, but slightly amusing thought, Holly decided. Like a ten-year old boy who, when he found himself attracted to a girl, knew no other way to communicate than to bully. 

Maybe if she’d stayed in Toronto Holly could have saved Gail from this. It would have been reason enough not to leave Holly smiled to herself. A small, wry smile. She just couldn’t imagine Gail putting up with Frankie.

Traci must have mistaken Holly’s smile for one of grim forbearance because in the next instant she gently but pointedly rebuked Frankie.

‘Ah, Frankie,’ she said quietly, ‘you’ll find Dr Stewart knows what she’s talking about. Often the science lesson, knowing about the science, is what ends up helping us catch the perp.’

‘Yes mother,’ Frankie started to say, her voice obnoxious and bored like a petulant teenager, but Traci’s phone rang. Traci excused herself and stepped out to take the call, and Holly turned back to lean over the body on the table.

A moment later, when she straightened and turned Frankie was right there and it made Holly jump. Damn she was too jittery. Not enough sleep and too many thoughts speculating what was really going on with Gail crowding her head. 

Still, it reminded Holly of that time with Gail in the lab when she’d brought the thumb to be rehydrated and Oliver’s truculent teenage daughter. Except where there was something heartbreakingly desperate about Gail’s closeness that day, which Holly was doing her best to resist because she was hurt and angry, Frankie’s proximity was downright creepy.

‘Doing anything tonight?’ Frankie said, that revolting smirk making a reappearance, ‘how about a welcome back drink at the Penny.’

‘Um,’ Holly said, trying to think of a watertight excuse and failing. God she was smart, she should be better at this. Gail had told her stories of going undercover and assuming another identity and now Holly wondered at how she pulled it off. Then again, she had actually seen her pull it off at the Dunant cocktail party and later in that bar in New York. Both times Gail had seemed so familiar and yet so strange. Now Holly recognized it wasn’t Gail she was seeing but the persona Gail had so convincingly inhabited.

‘There’s no one waiting for you back home. Or is there?’ Frankie said an eyebrow arched.

‘Um,’ Holly was sure the panic was written all over her face. Did Frankie know about Gail? Is that what she was insinuating? Was this all an elaborate trap to force Holly to admit she was hiding Gail? No, no, Holly reasoned. There was no way Frankie or anyone else from 15 would guess she had Gail stashed away in her apartment. Apart from the conversation with Andy, the whole topic of Gail hadn’t even come up. Holly needed to get a grip. 

‘So a drink tonight?’ Frankie said.

‘Um, you know I’m still not completely unpacked,’ Holly said, ‘and I’m guessing I’ll be here late.’

‘Uh huh,’ Frankie said, sounding entirely unconvinced, ‘maybe I could help you get un,’ she drew out the prefix and paused, ‘packed.’ There was that smirk again.

Holly knew her brow was creased in a frown. She had done nothing to encourage this woman’s attentions. In fact quite the opposite and still Frankie kept going. Before she could respond, Holly was saved by the reappearance of Traci. 

‘Swarek’s found a security camera at the warehouse. It was well hidden. The cleanup crew missed it. Want to come back to the station to take a look, Frankie?’ Traci asked.

‘Sure, why not,’ Frankie said, ‘not much action here.’ With that she pushed off from the counter she was indolently leaning against and was out the door.

Holly shot Traci a look of pure gratitude.

‘Sorry about Frankie,’ the detective said, ‘she can be, ah, persistent. Especially if she knows you’re single and gay.’

Holly gave a half-hearted laugh.

‘You are single still?’ Traci said.

Holly nodded slowly. She was single. Of course she was. The mysterious reappearance of Gail for a third time didn’t change that. Did it?

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to pry. But you might want to invent an imaginary girlfriend if you want to keep Frankie at arm’s length.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Holly was just finishing up the autopsy when Traci returned. Without preamble or even a greeting, the detective slapped a piece of paper on the countertop. It was a black and white photograph of Gail, clearly taken off the security footage from the warehouse. 

Holly felt herself blanche. She dropped the scalpel she was holding on the counter with a clatter and then couldn’t stop from inhaling so audibly it was like a whistle. Hopefully Traci would think the gasp came from dropping the instrument. 

Traci looked at her intently, searching her face. Holly didn’t know how to respond, and in any case didn’t trust herself to speak just yet.

‘It is Gail, isn’t it?’ Traci said finally.

‘Well,’ Holly stalled, ‘it’s very like her. But this person has dark hair.’ She knew her denial was meaningless. It was obviously Gail and anyway Traci had seen the way Holly paled, had heard that sharp intake of breath, when Holly first saw the photograph.

Traci looked at Holly for a long moment, her expression unreadable.

‘Do you know anything about this, Holly? Has Gail tried to contact you?’ 

Traci’s voice was surprisingly gentle and Holly fought the urge to confess everything. It couldn’t hurt, could it? Traci wouldn’t turn Gail in and she’d know what to do. It might be the best way to keep Gail safe. 

Even as these ideas formulated, Holly shook her head. Traci took it to mean no, she hadn’t seen Gail, when really Holly was telling herself no she couldn’t trust Traci. Even if Traci’s voice was soothing and dependable, and Holly so wanted to share this burden with her.

‘This is serious, Holly. It’s not just Gail being corrupt. Turns out Asbar had contact with terrorist groups. That’s who we think he had started supplying. We could be looking at a major attack on Canadian soil.’

‘Traci, do you think Gail would contact me, knowing I work with you guys?’ Holly said. She knew her voice was shaky and prayed Traci would think the situation was making her nervous and not take it as a sign she knew something about Gail’s whereabouts.

‘You’re one of the few people she trusts. Maybe the only person,’ Traci said. She looked at Holly shrewdly. ‘I know Gail. If she’s back in Toronto she couldn’t stay from you.’

‘How would she even know I’ve returned?’

‘Holly, if you know anything at all, if Gail approaches you, speak to me. I promise I’ll handle it properly.’

‘There is nothing to tell,’ Holly shrugged, hating she was lying to Traci, hating that she was lying at all. Somehow though the lies flowed smoothly when it came to protecting Gail. ‘You know we didn’t keep in touch.’

‘What about the time in San Francisco?’

The question flustered Holly. How did Traci know she’d seen Gail? Oh, that’s right. Holly had phoned Traci fishing for information after Gail had kissed her in the alleyway. But she’d never actually admitted to seeing Gail.

‘I was mistaken. I saw someone in a crowd who reminded me of her. It was nothing.’ Holly knew she didn’t sound convincing. Traci regarded her skeptically and then sighed heavily.

‘I have to get back to 15, but if you need to talk about anything,’ Traci’s voice softened, ‘come to me. Not Sam or Frankie.’

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It was after 8pm when Holly got back to her apartment. All the lights were off and when she peeked into the bedroom she saw Gail was asleep. Holly let go of the breath she hadn’t been conscious of holding. It made her realize she’d feared Gail would have once again left. 

In a way she was grateful Gail was still asleep. It saved Holly from asking her questions straightaway. Holly needed to regroup, to work out how to approach this. Was Gail involved in terrorism? That Holly couldn’t believe. Had she killed Asbar? Again Holly found herself unable to imagine Gail doing something like that, and it wasn’t just the manner of Asbar’s death, it was the killing of someone in cold blood. None of these things gelled with the Gail she knew.

Leaving Gail resting, Holly retraced her steps to the kitchen. At least she could make them dinner. Deciding on pasta, she pulled tomatoes and basil from the fridge to make a simple marinara sauce. Then she opened a bottle of red wine, splashing a liberal amount in the sauce before pouring herself a glass. After the day she’d had, she definitely needed a drink.

The conversation with Traci still weighed on her mind. Holly had always had a good relationship, even friendship, with Traci and she felt uncomfortable deceiving her. Yet the way Traci had looked at her so shrewdly nagged at Holly. 

Why had the detective seemed so convinced Holly had information about Gail? Did the cops at 15 know more about Gail’s movements than they were letting on? In which case, had they somehow found out she had come here? Holly shook her head. No. She was being paranoid again. If the police thought Gail was in the apartment, they’d be swarming all over the place. Traci was simply on a fishing expedition.

The knock on the door came just after Holly had just put the pasta in the boiling water. A solid series of knocks, somehow carrying the sound of authority, and Holly knew immediately it was the police. When she opened the door, Sam and Frankie were standing there. Traci was behind them, an uncomfortable expression on her face.

‘Detectives,’ Holly doing her best to seem surprised, ‘can I help you with something?’

‘We had a report Gail Peck was sighted in this area. Know anything about it?’ Swarek said, eyes narrowed and arms folded across his chest. Unyielding, intimidating.

‘No,’ Holly said, but she knew the way her eyes widened meant she’d been caught in the lie.

‘You don’t mind if we take a look around,’ Frankie said, pushing past Holly into the hallway that led to the bedrooms. Holly was immediately after Frankie, with Sam and Traci trailing behind her.

‘Do you have warrant?’ Holly asked, feeling somewhat powerless seeing as she was sandwiched between Frankie and Sam. 

‘We’re all friends here,’ Frankie said stopping and turning and with a smile that didn’t even remotely reach her eyes, ‘just making sure you’re safe Dr Stewart. Wouldn’t want Gail Peck coming here and threatening you or worse. Isn’t that right Detective Swarek?’

Sam nodded.

‘If you take one more step I’ll call my lawyer,’ Holly said, keeping her voice strong and firm even though she was quaking inwardly, heart hammering in her chest, a roaring sound in her ears, certain Gail was about to be discovered.

‘We don’t need lawyers here, do we Detective Swarek,’ Frankie said and Sam once again nodded, ‘talk of lawyers makes us suspicious. I’m worried for your safety Doctor, aren’t you Detective.’

‘Yeah,’ Sam agreed, ‘so we need to check the apartment for your own protection.’

He and Frankie had drawn their weapons and held them out in front of them, Traci hung back looking helpless. Frankie nudged open the door to the guest bedroom. It was empty. Sam and Holly followed her into the room and watched as she kicked open the closets and then checked under the bed.

‘Nothing?’ Sam asked.

‘Nothing,’ Frankie confirmed.

They moved down the hallway to Holly’s bedroom. Holly had left the door ajar when she had gone to check on Gail earlier. Now she pushed in front of Frankie and Swarek and blocked the doorway.

‘This is outrageous,’ she said, ‘you have no right to be here. I will be making a formal complaint to your superiors.’

‘Knock yourself out, sweetheart,’ Sam said, as he and Frankie shoved past Holly and into the room.

Holly stood stock still then. She didn’t dare think what would happen next. Surely there had been enough of a commotion to wake Gail. An icy chill ran through Holly. Would Gail surrender? Would she go quietly? Or would she reach for her gun, which last night she had insisted on tucking under the edge of the mattress? Would a gun be enough of an excuse for Frankie and Sam to shoot Gail? Probably given the febrile state they were in, Holly realized with resignation. 

Traci hadn’t followed the other two into the bedroom and now, as she watched Holly, her expression was sympathetic. Holly flinched at the sound of each closet being kicked open. At the thick thud of a boot and the sharp scrap as the closet door bounced open. Then there was silence for a moment. They must have gone into the en suite. 

Holly held her breath. Her chest was tight and her heart was racing so fast she felt like she may start hyperventilating any moment. That or throw up. She frantically looked across at Traci. ‘You can’t do this,’ she pleaded.

‘I’m sorry,’ Traci said, and even amongst all the chaos, Holly could tell she was sincere.

What seemed like years later, but was only minutes, Sam and Frankie appeared at the door again. Holly half expected them to be dragging Gail between them.

‘Nothing,’ Frankie said to Traci, her voice dripping with disgust. 

Traci nodded. Was it relief, Holly saw in her eyes? 

Holly would have sagged against the hallway wall in relief herself if not for the fact the adrenaline was still coursing through her. She went to the bedroom door and scanned the room. Sam and Frankie had tipped the mattress off the bed and left the closet doors ajar. The door to the en suite was also wide open, allowing her to see through to the bathroom. There was no sign of Gail. 

This time instead of making Holly angry or exasperated, or weighed down by longing and confusion, this time Gail’s absence filled Holly with joy. And she didn’t care where Gail had gone, as long as she was safe.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters.
> 
> Thanks for the lovely comments, kudos, subscriptions and bookmarks and for reading. Hope you enjoy this next installment. let me know what you think!

As Holly stared into her bedroom, she noticed something Frankie and Sam had missed. Holly, who was so used to reading crime scenes it was like an automatic reflex, saw it immediately. It was a drop of blood on the floorboards directly beneath the window. A speck really. Already starting to dry and darken but still fresh.

Holly felt rather than saw Traci hovering behind her. The detective’s discomfort was palpable, rolling off her in waves. Holly maintained her position in the doorway. She didn’t want Traci coming into the room. Didn’t want to chance her spotting the blood. Holly had worked with Traci on a number of cases and knew that unlike Sam and Frankie she was careful and methodical and observant. 

‘That was out of line,’ Traci finally said, ‘I’m so sorry Holly. I tried to stop them.’

Holly didn’t reply or even turn around to acknowledge Traci had spoken.

‘I thought if I came along I could at least make sure things didn’t get out of hand.’ Traci sounded more tentative now. Apologetic and a little ashamed. ‘Sam and Frankie are on some sort of crusade against Gail. I don’t understand why,’ Traci paused and Holly heard her sigh heavily. ‘If you need a friend and I think you will, I’m here for you Holly.’

Then there was the sound of Frankie, harsh and grating, yelling from the entranceway, ‘where are you Nash. We’re out of here.’

Holly waited until she heard the apartment door slam before she moved. The first thing she did was check the detectives had definitely gone. Then she cleaned up the spot of blood with toilet paper, which she immediately flushed. 

Holly noticed one of the windows, which was part of a bank that ran nearly the length of the room, was open just a crack. She couldn’t remember if she’d left it that way. She wanted to lift it up and stick her head out to look around for Gail but she was worried Frankie and Sam might be below on the sidewalk looking up at the apartment. In any case, if Gail had slipped out through the window, Holly couldn’t imagine where she could have possibly gone. She couldn’t see her climbing down. 

It was a modern building. Six floors high, twelve apartments and Holly’s was on the very middle floor. An open plan kitchen living led onto a balcony at the back. Funny the detectives hadn’t searched there. It occurred to her that Sam and Frankie never expected to find Gail here. The search wasn’t actually that thorough. It seemed more for show, intended perhaps to send a message. 

They didn’t check any other cupboards besides the ones in the bedrooms and ensuite, or look through the trash. Not that they would have found anything. She wouldn’t be worth her salt as a forensic pathologist if she didn’t know how to clean up a crime scene.

Last night Holly had bundled Gail’s blood soaked shirt, the towels she’d pressed to the wound, the swabs and even the gloves she’d worn into a large garbage bag. She’d given the bag to Lisa to dispose of in one of the hospital waste bins. Holly had used hydrogen peroxide, a bottle of which she kept in the bathroom cabinet, to scrub Gail’s blood off the floor. Unlike most household bleach, which was chlorine based, hydrogen peroxide contained oxygen which acted as an oxidizing agent, meaning it completely removed hemoglobin so it couldn’t be detected later. 

In taking these precautions, Holly knew she was admitting the threat of someone coming to look for Gail was very real. What she hadn’t expected was for it to be Frankie and Sam. But why had they only explored part of the apartment. Had Traci’ presence acted as a restraint or was Holly right in thinking they were simply sending a message? If so, whom were they trying to intimidate – Gail or her?

Holly was jolted out of her reverie by the smoke detector alarm sounding. The loud, shrill beeps sent her scurrying to the kitchen where she found the pasta had boiled dry and the tomato sauce had congealed into an inedible mass. Great, she thought, as she clambered up on a chair to reset the smoke detector. 

Deciding enough time had passed for the three detectives to have gone, Holly returned to the bedroom and flung up the window so she could crane her head out. The façade of the building was uneven. At irregular intervals and at different heights, colorful oblong boxes framed banks of windows. Some of the boxes extended over two stories and they jutted out about half a meter. The remaining windows were unadorned and flat against the building surface, but beneath several of them, including the bank in Holly’s bedroom, there ran a ledge, barely thick enough for someone to edge their feet along. 

As Holly looked around, two more splotches of blood caught her eye. This time on the ledge. Instinctively she looked down, for a horrifying instant convinced she’d see Gail splattered on the sidewalk below, but of course she saw no such thing. Had Gail, weak and injured, edged her way along the ledge, Holly wondered. If she’d done that she could have jumped onto the top of one of the protruding boxes and from there reached another ledge, bringing her level with a mid-sized maple tree growing from the sidewalk. Sturdy enough for someone to scramble down. It was the only explanation. 

But when did Gail Peck become such a ninja? She barely tolerated running when she was in uniform. Come to think of it Holly mused, the Gail Peck she’d slept with in New York and whose shirt she’d cut away last night wasn’t quite the same Gail Peck she’d dated in Toronto three years ago. No, this Gail was lean and toned, like she’d been working out. Even the noodle arms had practically disappeared. 

Blessed with a crazy metabolism, Gail had always been trim despite the donuts, but now Holly realized she was all muscle. And who demanded fitness of their operatives? Well of course intelligence agencies. Although to be fair, it was a thing among criminal gangs too. And terrorists. Holly pushed that final thought away as soon as it popped into her head.

She had just finished scouring the burnt pots when she heard the knock on the door. This time not the solid knock of the police but tentative, as if tapping out a secret code. Holly half hoped it was Gail. Actually, who was she kidding, she totally hoped it was Gail and not just because she was worried the sutures had busted and Gail was bleeding all over the place. 

When Holly opened the door, she found Lisa. The way the plastic surgeon’s head darted about, clearly checking to see if she’d been followed, might have been comical had Holly not so recently been subjected to the visit from Sam and Frankie.

Lisa didn’t say anything until Holly had locked the door behind her.

‘Fuck, are you okay?’ she asked breathlessly, then looked around wildly, ‘they haven’t bugged the place?’ Strangely, given it was summer, Lisa was dressed in a grey trench coat belted tightly at the waist. Despite the evening hour, she was wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses, which she didn’t remove even though she was indoors.

‘They had no time for that,’ Holly shook her head. Lisa’s level paranoia was clearly high. ‘How did you know?’

‘Gail. She came by. I fixed the sutures. She busted a few climbing out the window. Actually, now I’ve redone the stitching, she probably won’t need that plastic surgery after all,’ Lisa said casually. It was like she was describing something as innocuous as inviting Gail in for a coffee. Her nonchalance was totally at odds with her apparent panic of a moment ago. 

Lisa’s behavior was altogether puzzling. Holly stared at her friend for a moment, her brain trying to reconcile the bizarre behavior and dress with the seriousness of what was happening. Was everything a game to Lisa? Quite possibly Holly thought as she recalled Lisa’s excitement last night at the thought of helping Gail elude whoever was following her. 

Lisa’s life of privilege had been relatively charmed. Apart from the occasional speeding ticket, she had never been in trouble with the police. Sure she’d smoked some weed in high school and taken the occasional party drug at college, but apart from that she’d never broken the law. Med school and a surgical rotation hadn’t left her much time to socialize and certainly not to let loose. So maybe, Holly mused, at thirty-eight Lisa was finally rebelling. Either that or Lisa imagined she was a female version of Jason Bourne. It might explain the way she was dressed. 

‘So Gail’s okay?’ Holly asked. Even though she tried to disguise it, she could hear the desperation in her voice.

‘Yeah fine. She was worried about you.’

‘Me? Did she send you to check on me?’

‘Well, I would have come anyway,’ Lisa whined.

‘So she’s at your place?’ 

‘No. She took off. I offered to let her stay but,’ Lisa shrugged, ‘she seemed to have other plans.’ As she spoke Lisa tapped the side of her nose conspiratorially and Holly had to resist the impulse to roll her eyes. Well that, and or hit her. ‘Man, I can’t believe she climbed down the front of your building. She is kind of badass.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘You’ve been relieved of the case,’ Dr Bourke said.

It was the following day and Holly had arrived at work to find her boss waiting for her in her office. Just like her living room, it was still only half set up with boxes of books and journals stacked against a wall.

‘What do you mean relieved of the case,’ Holly asked, her brow creasing in consternation, ’I don’t know what the police think but I have no personal connection to Dani Asbar.’

‘It wasn’t the police,’ Dr Bourke gave Holly a strange look, ‘it was the Canadian Security Intelligence Service. At least that’s who I think it was. The two men said they were from the Justice Department, but they looked like spooks to me.’

‘Spooks?’ Holly asked, for a moment having a flash of Lisa in her trench coat and sunglasses. God, what a stereotype.

‘You know spies. Said it was a matter of national security,’ Bourke shrugged, suddenly defensive. Clearly he was under the impression Holly felt he should have done more to stop Dani Asbar’s body being removed. ‘I wasn’t going to argue. They had the relevant paperwork. Took the body. At least now you’ll have time to settle in properly.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

At lunchtime Holly went down to 15. She had deliberated over whether to make a formal complaint. Under any other circumstances she wouldn't have hesitated. She hadn’t needed Traci to tell her Frankie and Sam's behavior was completely out of line. More to the point, it was illegal.

The problem was a complaint meant bringing in her boss. Now Dr Bourke seemed like a nice man, a reasonable man, who was excited to have lured Holly back to the forensic department. No doubt he would be appalled one of his staff had been treated in this way. What Holly wasn’t certain about was how, on her very second day of work, he'd take the news the police had searched her house looking for her ex-girlfriend, who may or may not be involved in the murder of the man Holly had just performed an autopsy on.

'But you can't let them get away with it,' Lisa had urged last night, 'what's to stop them harassing you again.'

Holly knew Lisa was right and in the end resolved to seek Oliver's advice. She didn't know Staff Sergeant Shaw very well but Gail trusted him. He had always supported Gail, even when some of her other so called friends were quick judge. From what Gail had said, he was the source of some very wise counsel.

An officer who according to his name badge was called Moore let Holly through to find Oliver. He seemed to know who she was and didn’t ask to see any ID. The detective pen was empty but she could see across to Oliver’s office. In fact what drew her attention was the shouting. 

A balding man, taller than Oliver and dressed in a suit, stood facing Sam and Frankie. His face was read and he was jabbing a finger in their direction, and shouting so loudly and with such vehemence Holly imagined spittle was probably coming out with the words. Oliver stood next him, a grim expression on his face. Holly couldn’t hear everything being said, but could make out phrases like ‘what the hell were you two thinking’ and ‘we’ll be lucky if she doesn’t sue our asses.’ 

Holly stood somewhat awkwardly, not sure what to do. It was clear she was the subject of the dressing down the two detectives were receiving. Perhaps she should return later to speak to Oliver? Based on what she could hear, maybe she didn’t even need to make a complaint. Before Holly could decide what to do, Traci appeared from the locker room. She didn’t look happy and greeted Holly tersely.

‘What’s going on,’ Holly asked a little helplessly, gesturing towards Oliver’s office.

‘Inspector Jarvis. He’s not impressed with the stunt Frankie and Sam pulled last night.’

‘And you were?’ Holly found herself snapping.

‘No, of course not, ‘ Traci sighed. ‘The thing is Frankie and Sam aren’t good together. Ever since they’ve been partnered they’ve brought out the worst in each other. They don’t always do things by the book but they get results so the senior officers usually turn a blind eye.’

‘Not today though,’ Holly jerked her head in the direction of Oliver’s office.

‘Not today,’ Traci sighed again, ‘I guess you know we’ve been taken off the case. All very hush hush but it has the Intelligence Agency’s fingerprints all over it. I think that’s why those two are being reprimanded.’

‘What do you mean?’ Surely Traci wasn’t implying Gail was part of the agency and Frankie and Sam were being bawled out at her instigation. Or was that just wishful thinking on Holly’s part. Much easier to imagine Gail as a secret agent than as a criminal.

‘I don’t think they appreciated us messing with their case. Look Holly, I meant it last night when I said I was sorry. Sam and Frankie’s behavior was totally unacceptable but believe me you don’t want them as enemies.’

‘So you’re saying I shouldn’t make a fuss about this?’

‘No, not exactly. But given Jarvis is taking care of it, maybe it would be best to play this down for now,’ Traci said, ‘you don’t want to give them any other reason to come after you.’

‘Do you really believe Gail is corrupt?’ Holly rounded on Traci, exasperated.

Traci regarded her for a time before replying, clearly choosing her words carefully.

‘I wouldn’t have guessed Steve was corrupt – I dated him for Christ’s sake – and look how that turned out,’ she shrugged, ‘and if the intelligence agency is involved, well that could mean Gail’s more than corrupt, she’s a traitor.’

‘But this is Gail,’ Holly urged.

‘Yep, this is Gail and that’s why I’m having a hard time reconciling this. It made sense when we found out Steve was bent, it doesn’t fit with Gail.’

Holly let out a breath she hadn’t been conscious of holding. ‘So you believe she’s being unfairly accused?’

‘I’m keeping an open mind, but those two,’ Traci nodded towards Oliver’s office where Jarvis’ volume had quite suddenly increased, ‘they’ve got a vendetta. Sam thinks he’s the man to cleanup the force, to clear out the rotten apples. And Frankie, well Frankie claims she hates she slept with someone who sold us out,’ Traci paused and Holly tried not to wince at the mental image of Gail and Frankie together, ‘but I think it has more to do with the fact Gail dumped her.’

At that moment the yelling stopped and the door to Oliver’s office was yanked open. Sam walked out first, followed by Frankie, a sour expression on her face. Not that was unusual, Holly thought. They barely glanced at Holly, but when they did, their eyes were hard and dismissive, and Holly had a strong feeling she had indeed made two enemies.

Oliver appeared in the doorway then. He’d clearly spied Holly.

‘Ah Doctor Stewart, fortuitous you are here. Inspector Jarvis would like a word if you can spare the time?’

Holly nodded and followed Oliver back into the room. Jarvis was seated at the desk and Oliver pulled out a chair for Holly opposite, before taking one next to her. She sensed Oliver was uncomfortable with the situation, and the way he curtly nodded to Jarvis on reentering the room convinced Holly he didn’t much like the man. 

Jarvis leant forward on the desk, steepling his fingers. He considered Holly for a moment before speaking.

‘I would like to officially apologize for the actions of Detectives Swarek and Anderson. It was uncalled for.’

‘It was illegal,’ Holly interrupted; anger suffusing her at the way Jarvis was downplaying what had happened. ‘It was a violation in more ways than one.’

‘I believe the detectives had probable cause to suspect you may be in danger from a felon,’ Jarvis said, leaning back in his chair, his chin raised so he had the appearance of looking down on Holly. He was arrogant and supercilious, she decided.

‘With all due respect, that’s bullshit and you know it, Inspector’ Holly said, surprising even herself at her feistiness.

‘I appreciate how distressing this must have been for you,’ Jarvis’ tone was more conciliatory now, ‘and of course the last thing we want to do is suggest you’ve done anything illegal or indeed damage our relationship with you forensic folk. The Police Department will extend an official apology to Dr Bourke.’

‘No,’ Holly interrupted, ‘not Dr Bourke. I haven’t told anyone at work about this.’

‘And you’d like to keep it that way?’ Jarvis seemed to jump on Holly’s admission.

‘I, I don’t see the point of involving them,’ Holly faltered.

‘If we can assure you Detectives Anderson and Swarek will leave you alone, would you be happy with that? Then we can move forward. Put this unfortunate episode behind us. I’d hate for this to affect our very good relationship with the forensic department. Anderson and Swarek are outstanding detectives, they were just a little overzealous in this instance.’

Holly nodded a little numbly. She had a feeling she’d just been played, but what other choice did she have. Drawing Dr Bourke in wouldn’t achieve anything. If Jarvis was willing to guarantee Sam and Frankie wouldn’t harass her, then that was enough. 

As Holly made her way out of the station, she heard her name being called. Turning she saw it was Oliver. He looked worried, his forehead creased and his lip pressed in a line.

‘Dr Stewart, I‘ll do everything in my power to make sure those two don’t mess with you again,’ Oliver said, ‘and if they do, you come straight to me.’ His tone was so kind, so comforting Holly had the urge to cry. She could imagine Oliver would envelop her in his arms and say soothing words and she’d immediately feel better. 

Instead Holly bit her lip to steady herself and said, ‘Do you think Gail's corrupt?' Even as she spoke, Holly wondered if she would just keep doing this, asking each of Gail's colleagues if they'd written her off, always hoping the answer would be no.

'Oh darlin’,’ Oliver said, 'whatever Gail's mixed up in, she's like one of my own daughters. I wouldn't give up on her yet.'

Later when she reflected on what Oliver had said, Holly realized she didn’t know to whom he was referring when he said ‘I’. Was he giving her advice or did he actually mean he wasn’t ready to abandon Gail?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Holly had the dream a month later. It was an unusually hot night and she’d left the windows open and noises from the street drifted lazily up into the room - a horn sounding, the screech of brakes, and even a couple arguing. Perhaps it was the effect of the heat, but the sounds seemed to distort so they hung in the air before dissipating. 

Holly tossed restlessly before falling into a frustratingly light sleep. It was then she felt the bed dip. She wasn’t alarmed though. Her senses seemed to heighten when Gail was around, so Holly smelt her first before she felt Gail’s arm around her waist. It was a smell she found reassuring and yet it always spiked her desire. Not exactly a paradox, but more a reflection of what Gail represented to her. That was probably the real paradox, because how could Gail represent these things when she was so elusive. 

Anyway, this was surely all a dream and Holly decided she wouldn’t waste it pondering the enigma that was Gail Peck. Instead she breathed in deep, luxuriating in the smell that was just so Gail. There was a freshness to it, fragrant but not overly perfumed, more like white musk oil mixed with just a hint of citrus. 

As Gail began to curl around her, Holly turned so their faces were nearly touching and she could feel Gail’s breath upon her lips. Holly smiled and leant in to kiss Gail. Slowly, wantonly, as if she had all the time in the world and yet none at all, and needed to imprint this kiss upon her memory. 

It was her dream after all, Holly decided, so she could kiss Gail however she wanted and for as long as she wanted. She pulled back after a spell and smiled at Gail again, seeing her properly for the first time. 

The moon was almost full and the room was bathed in a luminescent light so Holly saw that Gail no longer had black hair but it was once again peroxided. Cut shorter on one side, with the other a little asymmetrical so it hung rakishly across her forehead. She was achingly beautiful. Those plump lips and the blue eyes almost smoky in the light of the moon. 

Holly couldn’t hold back then and nor it seemed could Gail. The kiss was eager, demanding. Holly shifted so she was above Gail, resting her weight mostly on one elbow, but leaning her body into Gail’s, her other hand reaching down to entwine with a pale one. 

She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed it until now, but Gail was gloriously naked beneath her. Holly half sat to pull off her own t-shirt and Gail leant up to assist. Then as Holly lay back down, Gail tugged at Holly’s boy shorts, pushing them down over her ass and legs. The touch of Gail’s hand on her naked flesh made Holly shiver. She had always loved the way Gail was so self-assured about sex, even that first time when Gail had never slept with a woman before. 

As she went to kiss Gail again, Holly noticed the scar from the knife wound. Faint but still discernable in the moonlight, the skin pinkish and slightly upraised. She traced her finger across it gently and then placed a soft kiss upon it.

‘It’s healed,’ she said.

‘Yes,’ Gail smiled, speaking for the first time.

Holly titled her head to one side and regarded Gail for a long moment. Gail was still smiling at her, a lazy, loving smile

‘Is this madness,’ Holly breathed, wondering why she was bothering to have a conversation with her dream self or dream Gail for that matter.

‘Yes, probably, no,’ Gail said, ‘it can’t be madness because with you it just makes sense.’ Then she pulled Holly down for a kiss so intense, so sensual and, given this was a dream, so wholly and strangely corporeal it made Holly forget everything but the here and now. Holly gave in then. Well, who was she kidding? She wasn’t actually trying to resist Gail, even if she were imaginary. 

In the morning when Holly woke she felt sated and relaxed, her body humming with contentment. A little stiff and sore, but deliciously so. Who’d have thought a sex dream could be so real, she thought. As she stretched, Holly noticed something on the pillow. A strand of blonde hair. She reached across and picked it up between her thumb and forefinger, holding it to the light, not believing what she was seeing. There had to a logical explanation. Perhaps it belonged to the previous occupant of the apartment or the removalists who had delivered her belongings.

Shaking her head to clear it, Holly went into the bathroom and turned on the water for the shower. Just before she hopped under, she looked in the mirror. There at the base of her neck, along the line of the clavicle, was a red mark. A bruise. A hickey in fact. Faint, but still a hickey. Broken blood vessels just below the skin, red where the blood had seeped into the surrounding tissue. The exact spot where dream Gail had placed her lips and gently nipped and sucked and then soothed with her tongue. Holly stared at the mirror for a long time. This was indeed madness. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

She came across it later that morning at work. An email with the subject heading ‘Dani Asbar – toxicology report.’ Contrary to police shows on TV, toxicology analysis took weeks, even months to complete. What surprised Holly though was that this hadn’t been forwarded to the Justice Department.

Unable to help herself, Holly opened the report. The name Abigail Peck jumped out at her straightaway. Blood found on Dani Asbar’s jacket matched Gail’s. Holly closed the report immediately and deleted the email. She was sure the spooks would have a copy by now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Over the next month Holly kept having the sex dreams. She was certain they were dreams because she’d wake feeling frustrated, aching for Gail and not the least bit sated like that first time. She’d reach across in the dark and touch the other side of the bed and it would be cold. In the morning there would be no sign Gail had been there. No blonde hair. No marks on her body. Not that she expected any, but still Holly would have to push down the disappointment. 

It left her feeling like she was in a constant oneiric state. She liked that word – oneiric – it meant dream or dreamlike - and it seemed apropos of her life right now. Holly had been amused to discover scientists had found that learning the meaning of new words could stimulate the same pleasure region in the human brain, the ventral striatum, as sex, gambling, drugs and eating. In fact the excitement at discovering a new word had itself been given a name, a neologasm.

It was on one of those mornings, when she’d woken in the middle of the night after a sex dream and never fallen back asleep, Holly got a call about a body in an abandoned building. It was quicker for her to go straight there and meet the crime scene techs than go via the morgue. When she arrived her heart sank. Standing out front where Sam and Frankie. She hadn’t had to work with the two detectives since her first day back but it seemed like her luck had run out. 

Sam had taken up the habit of chewing a toothpick, which he did now, rolling it slowly from one corner of his mouth to the other as he watched Holly approach. She guessed it was part of his tough guy image, though she had read a paper where a psychologist argued chewing toothpicks, like smoking, was a way people blocked feelings. Sam turned and said something to Frankie and she laughed. The whole time neither of them took their eyes off Holly.

‘Doc,’ Sam drawled, the slowness of his speech and the use of a diminutive form of address so obviously intended to sound insolent. He jerked his head toward the door, ‘the body’s in there.’

Andy was by the crime scene tape and she held it up for Holly.

‘Sorry,’ she said as Holly ducked under, ‘those two they.’ Then she trailed off, her expression doleful and apologetic. 

Andy had always struck Holly as caring and sensitive, even if Gail had claimed she was a little too engrossed in the melodrama of her love life. What had Gail called her? Andy wouldn’t hurt a fly McNally. Sam and Frankie’s behavior clearly bothered her. It must be strange being married to a man you felt you had to apologize for. 

Holly couldn’t think how to respond so she nodded and continued into the building. It was an old shop and the front window was bordered up so it was dark inside. The crime techs hadn’t arrived, so Holly took her torch out of her bag and shone it around the room until she found the body. 

A man, probably in his thirties. A junky if the tourniquet around his upper arm and the needle sticking out of the crook of his inner arm were anything to go by. He hadn’t died from an overdose though. There was a circular hole in his forehead where he’d been shot at close range. 

As Holly moved closer, she felt the floor beneath her give and then the splintering sound of wood as the floorboard caved in. She felt her herself falling forward and down, the lower part of her legs wedged by the broken floorboards. She watched as if in slow motion as the forensic kit left her hand, arcing upwards and then coming to land on the victim with a thud, its contents spilling out across the upper part of the body. Great, she’d just contaminated the scene. Holly felt a stab of pain in her shin. She’d dropped the torch so it now lay facing the body, the path of its white beam ghoulishly illuminating the victim’s head.

Almost as soon as it happened, Andy was in the room. ‘Oh shit, Dr Stewart are you all right? Didn’t they tell you the floor was unstable? They said they would. Are you hurt? Do you need help?’

Holly shook her head and sitting back on the floor, pulled one and then the other leg out, leaving the injured leg until last. Her jeans were ripped and bloody and there was a deep gash in her shin. At least it didn’t feel like she’d broken any bones. Still, she hissed as she tried to stand, the pain radiating through her leg making her reconsider whether she had broken anything. Andy took her arm and steadied her.

‘Just lean on me, Dr Stewart,’ Andy held up her torch to light the way back to the door. ‘I’ll try and avoid any weak spots.’

‘Who should have told me?’

‘Um,’ Andy said, looking anxious.

‘Who,’ Holly persisted, even though the pain in her leg was excruciating.

‘Um, the detectives,’ Andy mumbled, ‘I need to get you out of here.’

Chris appeared just as they reached the door. When she arrived, Holly had noticed him standing by the squad car talking into his radio.

‘What happened?’ he asked, taking in Holly’s bloodied leg and the way Andy was supporting her.

‘The floor caved,’ Andy said tersely, ‘where are the detectives?’

‘They went to get coffee.’

Andy swore under her breath. It sounded odd and Holly guessed the officer wasn’t in the habit of swearing.

‘Chris can you take Dr Stewart – ‘

‘Holly,’ Holly interjected.

‘Holly to the hospital.’

‘I’m okay,’ Holly said, ‘I can probably bandage this myself.’ Even as she said it, Holly wondered at her calmness. She must be in shock, she decided.

Andy regarded Holly skeptically. ‘I’d feel better if you got checked out. That’s a lot of blood and you can barely put any weight on your leg.’

Chris insisted on carrying Holly to the squad car. ‘If you give me your car keys, we can have someone drop your car back at your place,’ he said.

Holly nodded.

‘Man, I’m sorry that happened,’ Chris said as they pulled out into the traffic, ‘you knew the floorboards were rotted didn’t you?’

Holly shook her head.

‘Oh man,’ Chris said, ‘this is bad. I’m sorry Dr um Holly.’

Holly didn’t need to be a genius to work out why Chris and Andy were so apologetic. It was obvious both had expected Sam and Frankie to tell her about the floor and it was clear too they suspected the detectives had deliberately decided not to warn her.

‘Frankie and Sam, they think I know something about Gail.’

Chris nodded slowly, as if reluctant to admit this. ‘They think she’s gone rogue.’

‘Do you think that?’

‘No.’

It was the first time since Holly had returned to Toronto that she had heard anyone be so definite about Gail.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Holly was grateful for Lisa’s clout as a surgeon. As soon as Lisa heard Holly was in emergency she came down and made sure Holly was seen immediately. She checked the wound herself and decided suturing was necessary. 

‘The tendons and muscles are torn. Not too deep but enough,’ Lisa explained, ‘I’ll send you for an x-ray first. Rule out broken bones.’

‘Don’t you have surgery?’ Holly asked.

‘Not for a couple of hours and my other patients can wait. It’s fine Holly,’ Lisa reassured, ‘besides you don’t want anyone else doing your sutures.’

After, Lisa insisted on driving Holly home. The x-ray had come back clear and Lisa had prescribed painkillers.

‘Don’t thank me but I’ve put you on the good stuff,’ Lisa grinned, ‘enjoy.’

Holly wasn’t sure if she really should be taking strong painkillers. Given the events of the morning, she felt like she needed to keep her wits about her. However, the pain in her shin was searing and she gave in. Lisa made her lie down, saying Holly needed to rest – ‘Doctor’s orders’ - and promised to return that evening.

Not for the first time since she’d crashed through the floorboards, Holly wished Gail were here. Why couldn’t she have a normal relationship where her girlfriend would rush to the hospital the minute she heard Holly was in the ER? Who’d take her home and minister to her, rustling up hot soup and making sure Holly had enough pillows to prop herself up in bed. 

Except, she didn’t have that sort of relationship. Actually she didn’t have a relationship at all, and if she did, she wasn’t even sure Gail was that sort of girlfriend. As Holly lay back on the bed, wishing she had another pillow but not having the energy to go in search of one, she realized that despite all her wishing she definitely didn’t have the power to conjure Gail Peck. 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Holly woke to hear Gail’s voice, quiet but angry. It was getting dark out. That blue grey of twilight. Holly realized she’d slept for hours. The clock said it was 6pm.

‘I’m going to kill Swarek and Anderson,’ Gail was saying, ‘I don’t care. They’re out of control.’

At first Holly thought she must be dreaming but the pain in her leg, which was throbbing now, felt real. She pushed herself to the edge of the bed and stood unsteadily. It still hurt to put weight on her injured leg, so she half hopped to the bedroom door and down the corridor until she reached the living room. Gail had her back to Holly, a phone pressed to her ear. Her stance was rigid and aggressive.

‘I swear those two better leave Holly alone,’ Gail was saying. She must have heard Holly because she turned suddenly, her expression alert. Her face softened as soon as she saw who it was. ‘Gotta go,’ she said and disconnected the phone. ‘You shouldn’t be up,’ she gently chided, moving towards Holly, ‘Lisa said you needed to rest.’

‘You’re not a dream,’ Holly breathed, ‘you’re here.’

‘I’m here,’ Gail smiled shyly, ‘of course I’m here.’ She seemed tentative now, even a little nervous, completely unlike how she was on the phone only a moment before. 

A single tear slid down Holly’s face. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying more. Gail immediately rushed over, clearly alarmed.

‘Is it hurting? Do you need more painkillers,’ she asked. 

Holly shook her head. ‘You’re here,’ she managed to say again.

‘Yes,’ Gail said, a quizzical look on her face.

‘Will you still be here in the morning? Or will you disappear?’ Another tear slipped out of the corner of Holly’s eye. She cursed herself for being so emotional. She wasn’t normally this fragile or needy. In fact Holly was very used to being entirely self-sufficient. It’s just she’d never experienced this kind of bullying, never had this kind of naked hostility directed so squarely at her. Above all, never felt the absence of someone so keenly as she did Gail’s.

Gail wrapped her arms around Holly and pulled her close, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. ‘Yes, I promise,’ she said quietly.

‘What about Sam and Frankie?’

‘If those assholes come anywhere near this place, I’ll shoot both of them.’ The vehemence with which Gail said this made Holly question if she was serious.

‘And I know plenty of ways to dispose of the bodies so no one will ever find them or trace their deaths back to us,’ Holly’s tone was flippant, but she wondered if she would actually help Gail hide a body. 

‘See, I knew there was a reason I kept you around nerd,’ Gail quipped, and smiling, kissed Holly gently on the lips. 

Holly felt herself melting into Gail, not only welcoming, but absurdly grateful for the reassuring warmth radiating off Gail’s body, the feeling of security that came from being cradled in her arms, and the certainty Gail would still be there in the morning.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters.
> 
> Thanks as always for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and for reading. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this. I've struggled a little with this chapter – which may be because it's 41 degrees outside (about 106 Fahrenheit for American readers) so my brain could be in the process of frying. Let me know what you think. I always love to hear from you.
> 
> I'll probably try and update Breaking Through before this fic. I'll see how things go.

'Okay,' Gail said, 'do you want to rest on the couch. I'll get some more pillows for you. Then I'll make dinner and we can talk.'

'Soup?' Holly said feebly. Not five hours ago she was wishing for a girlfriend who'd bring her home from the hospital, prop her up in bed with pillows and make her soup. And here was Gail doing just that. Well not the hospital bit, but that could be excused given Gail was keeping a low profile for whatever reason.

'Soup? You want soup?' Gail asked, surprised, 'isn't it too warm for soup? I was going to make a salad and grill some chicken, but I guess I can do soup if that's what you want.'

Holly stared at Gail without responding. Was this in fact dream Gail? Had Holly once again conjured her? Made her into the girlfriend she wanted as opposed to the elusive ex, maybe something more, who she may or may not have had sex with in the middle of the night a month back.

Gail shifted a little awkwardly under Holly's scrutiny, biting her bottom lip. It made Holly take Gail's hand, which felt unmistakably real, and bring it to her lips to place a gentle, almost reverential, kiss.

'You are real,' she breathed.

'Ye-ah,' Gail drew out the word at the obviousness of the statement, although her expression remained uncertain. Concerned even. 'Are you okay, Holly?' she asked, 'you didn't hit your head did you? Lisa didn't mention anything about a concussion.'

Holly couldn't help herself. She leaned towards Gail and kissed her. A soft brush against Gail's lips, those lips still quirked in confusion. Holly pulled back, just briefly, before smiling and leaning in again, her kiss firmer. Gail caught on then and Holly could feel her grin and return the pressure of the kiss. Holly tugged a little on Gail's top lip, and the sweetest sound escaped that beautifully shaped mouth. Part sigh, not quite a moan but enough to make Holly keep on.

Really Holly should have anticipated this would happen. She could never be near Gail without wanting to touch her and be touched, to kiss and oh so much more. So even though the sensible part of her brain told her to slow down, and even though just moments ago Gail had led her to the couch and held her gently, comfortingly, Holly's body had other ideas. It was as if her response to Gail was involuntary, a reflex like muscle memory.

Still, some very small part of Holly's frontal lobe was berating her for giving in so easily to the longing, the desire Gail always triggered. It was swift and unrestrained. Concupiscence. That was a word for it. In Christian theology, it referred to the appetites of the flesh, which vanquished all reason. Yet what Holly felt wasn't simply lust. No, it was tinged with a sort of ache for Gail, the sense always that this, in fact they were inevitable, and that that inevitability had a rightness to it, a truth that couldn't be denied.

Gail had said they would talk. That's what Holly should be doing, getting answers to all those questions, not kissing Gail as if those sex dreams, which had shadowed her this past month, had sent her libido through the roof.

The progression of the kiss, so tongues were involved, and Gail had her hands cupped around Holly's face, was seamless. As too, at first, was Holly's movement to push Gail back on the couch and to follow, her brain several steps ahead as she imagined running her hand up under Gail's t-shirt and trailing hot kisses along her collarbone, and then what would inevitably come next. But as Holly shifted forward, pain shot through her leg and she let out a little gasp. Gail sat up immediately, pulling away and then standing, her expression contrite.

'Oh god we shouldn't be doing this,' she said, 'you are on painkillers and injured and I'm, I shouldn't be here, ' Gail finished lamely.

'Don't you dare go,' Holly hissed, her vehemence taking them both by surprise.

'I'm not going anywhere. I'm making dinner,' Gail said retreating to the kitchen and regarding Holly from the other side of the counter. She looked contrite again, and a tad uncomfortable. Guilty? Holly couldn't quite put her finger on it.  


Gail opened the fridge and regarded the contents.

'You won't find any food there,' Holly sighed, 'I haven't had time to stock up.'

'It's okay. I went shopping on the way over,' Gail said as if this were the most normal thing in the world, 'when did you stop looking after yourself nerd?'

Probably about the time you reappeared in my life, Holly thought but didn't say so. The fact was she had allowed Gail, or more to the point the absence of Gail, to distract her from her normal routines. Healthy eating and regular exercise and catching up with friends and dating pleasant women with whom she sometimes had pleasant sex. An ordered and controlled life with no surprises and no demands, or even challenges apart from work; a life with nothing of the whirlwind that was Gail Peck.

So instead of saying these things or asking questions like who was Gail really working for, and how had she known Holly was hurt, and who was she talking to on the phone just then, and why was her blood on Dani Asbar's jacket, Holly deflected. 'Since when did you cook,' she said.

'I've always cooked. We weren't together long enough for you to find out,' Gail shrugged, 'anyway I only cook when it's worthwhile.'

Worthwhile. What did she mean by that, Holly wondered. Was Gail referring to her? 'Am I worthwhile?' she asked, trying for a glib but failing utterly, instead hearing the wavering streaks of vulnerability in her voice.

Gail, who by this time had sliced the chicken breasts and was making a marinade of garlic and ginger and chili and lime and oil, looked up sharply. Then her face softened. 'You are the only worthwhile thing,' she said tenderly, a touch shyly as if she was unsure how this revelation would be received. Her voice was barely a whisper like she was speaking under her breath rather than to Holly.

Holly couldn't help it. She smiled at Gail, a hopeful smile that almost immediately turned wistful. There was no sugar coating it. What use were Gail's words when she was so elusive she was essentially a chimera? When the likelihood of a future together was more fantastical than trying to predict when Gail would next make a random appearance.

Holly's smile must have faltered because Gail's expression turned serious. Once again it was like she knew exactly what Holly was thinking. Like she had an ability to read Holly. Then Gail shook her head as if to clear it and looked at Holly mischievously, the corners of her lips upturned.

'What?' Holly asked.

'I would kiss you,' Gail offered, her customary swagger back in place, 'but I'm not sure that would be helpful seeing as you can't keep your hands off me.'  


'Huh, me keep my hands off you,' Holly teased, 'who is it that keeps reappearing unannounced?'

It was silly talk but it broke the moment. A raw fragile moment neither was quite prepared to fully acknowledge because it meant admitting to feelings, huge, breathtaking feelings. At least that's what it seemed like to Holly.

The thing was Holly knew why she allowed Gail to turn her world upside down again and again. Why Gail pervaded not only Holly's dreams but her waking moments as well, so much so it felt as if she carried Gail with her always, an imprint so impossibly tangible it seemed real rather than imagined. Quite simply she was in love with Gail Peck. It made sense and was insane, but felt absolutely right.

But the most overwhelming thing about those feelings was the fear, hollow and paralyzing, that Gail may not feel the same way. Yet Gail kept showing up, kept coming back to Holly. That had to mean something, right. And back in New York when Gail left in the morning, Holly had been convinced Gail was trying to say she loved her. Lying here on the couch while Gail prepared dinner, Holly knew one thing for sure. Loving Gail meant a whole lot of trouble.

She realized Gail was speaking and she hadn't been listening. 'Wwhat?'

'Are you okay, Holly?' Gail asked, 'you seemed, I dunno, somewhere else.'

'What is really going on with you Gail?' Holly found herself blurting out. At least it stopped her from confessing her love.

'Thing is I can't really tell you.' Gail was biting her lip again.

'Gail,' Holly drew out her name warningly.

'Okay, okay. I'm working undercover.'

'With the police?'

'Um,' Gail hesitated, 'you could say it's related to law enforcement.'

Holly looked at Gail disbelievingly. 'Is that all you're giving me?

Gail nodded apologetically. 'It's all I can.'

'Okay, so why are Sam and Frankie convinced you're corrupt?'

'There were plenty of rumors after Steve and my parents were arrested. I just fed them. It's part of my cover. Keeps all those idiots at 15 safe. It's better they believe I'm just another rotten Peck. Which I'm not. You have to believe that, Holly.'

'I never thought you were corrupt,' Holly said without hesitation.

Gail nodded and then paused, the knife she was now using to slice cucumber for the salad suspended in the air. She worried at her bottom lip once more. Clearly, she was holding something back. 'Is it okay if there are no tomatoes in the salad,' she said finally.

'What?' Holly said, confused. This surely was not the reason for Gail's hesitation. Who cared about the tomatoes? Well, actually Holly cared because if she ate tomatoes she couldn't kiss Gail and, even though it felt like Gail wasn't being entirely straight with her, Holly really wanted to kiss her again. Which was stupid because how could she keep kissing someone when nothing made sense. Nothing that is, apart from the fact Holly loved Gail.

'No tomatoes. I'm allergic, remember.'

'Of course, I remember,' Holly said, and colored a little. She was fairly certain she remembered every detail, small and large, she'd ever gleaned about Gail. Not that Gail knew that. It was probably unlikely too, in fact too much to hope, Holly decided, that Gail would have her own inventory of Holly.

'Most people don't remember.'

'What, are you planning on kissing me some more later?' Holly could have kicked herself. Just when she should be pressing for explanations, she'd gone all flirty.

'Well, it's an established fact you can't keep your hands off me, Stewart,' Gail smiled.

Focus, Holly said to herself. Don't let Gail sidetrack you. The phrase the face that launched a thousand ships popped in her head. Was Gail her Helen of Troy? Would she metaphorically speaking send a thousand ships to save her?

Honey, what is it really?' Holly said.

Gail put down the knife. Her expression now serious. 'I shouldn't have told you even this much. I should have just let you think I was crooked.'

'Why?'

'It's the best way to protect you. Keeping my distance. They're not happy about it at work. I'm not supposed to see you.'

'So why do you keep showing up?' Holly said, feeling irritated, well actually angry, that Gail's work could dictate who she could see.

'The first two times were accidents. San Francisco and New York. Then I had no choice when I was stabbed. I couldn't ask anyone else for help, not without breaking cover.'

'And today?'

'It's my fault you got hurt. I needed to make that right.'

'So it boils down to chance, pure pragmatism and guilt.' Holly said. She knew she sounded bitter. Disappointed. Yep, she was crazy to think there was any prospect of a relationship with Gail. Crazy to think, even for a moment, Gail felt the same way she did.

'Oh god no,' Gail dropped the knife on the counter with a clatter. 'I can't stay away from you. Don't you see that? And it's selfish and it's stupid.'

'Stupid?' Holly blinked, trying to process what Gail was saying. If she was confused before, now she was completely perplexed. On the one hand, like Holly, it seemed Gail felt that pull, that sense, no that certainty they had to be together. Yet she just described it as stupid.

'Yeah,' Gail sighed heavily, 'because even though I'm careful I make you a target and that is so unbelievably stupid.'

'I can handle Swarek and Anderson.'

'Holly, it's not them I'm worried about,' Gail said quietly.

'Then who?'

Before Gail could answer there was a tap tap tapping on the door. Holly recognized it as Lisa. The same knock – almost like a code – of the night before. Gail, however, put a finger to her lips and moved to flatten herself against the corridor wall. She had a gun in her hand, which seemed to have appeared from nowhere.

'It's just,' Holly started to say but Gail motioned her to be quiet. Lisa must have decided to use her key because next thing they heard the sound of it in the lock and the door swung open. Lisa had dressed in her trench coat and dark glasses again, and carrying a big bunch of roses. When she saw Gail she shrieked and dropped the roses.

'What the fuck Peck. Can you stop pointing guns at me.'

'I wouldn't have thought a gun would put you off Marta Hari,' Gail sneered, lowering the weapon.

'Nice,' Lisa said advancing down the corridor, 'I come to check on your girlfriend and this is what I get.'

'Girlfriend,' Gail stuttered at the same time Holly said 'girlfriend', sounding equally confused.

'Oh would you two stop being idiots about this,' Lisa waved her hand around airily and plopped herself on the couch next to Holly. She'd scooped up the roses, which she now handed to Holly. 'These are for you.'

'Lisa, you didn't have to get flowers,' Holly protested, 'you've already done so much for me today.'

'I didn't get them,' Lisa shrugged, 'a delivery guy gave them to me outside. When I realized he was looking for your apartment, I offered to take them. What the–'

Before Lisa could finish her explanation, Gail grabbed the roses and tugged off the brightly colored paper in which they were wrapped. Finding nothing there, she went back to the wrapping and pulled off a card attached to it.

'Dear Doctor Stewart, wishing you a speedy recovery. No hard feelings. Sam and Frankie,' Gail read, her face wrinkling in disgust. 'What the fuck?'

'Was it their fault you got hurt?' Lisa asked, her eyes wide with outrage, 'why didn't you tell me.'

Holly shrugged. 'It didn't seem important.'

'I'm going to throw these roses out,' Gail said, partly to change the focus because she sensed Holly wasn't up to a grilling from Lisa, however well intentioned.

'Could you just shoot them,' Holly said, and when Gail quirked an eyebrow, she added, 'rather than throw them out.'

'I've got a better idea. Why don't you just shoot Swarek and Anderson,' Lisa suggested.

'Don't tempt me, Lisa,' Gail laughed wryly, and there was that undertone again. The one that to Holly sounded deadly serious.

At Gail's invitation, Lisa stayed for dinner. Holly would have found it strange except for a sneaking suspicion Gail was keeping Lisa around so she didn't have to answer any more questions. Although, Holly noticed the two appeared to have formed some sort of weird alliance around her. At least Lisa took off her trench coat and sunglasses to have dinner.

'I should check how your wound is healing,' Lisa offered to Gail as they cleared away the meal, 'see if there's any scarring.'

'Oh it's healed well,' said Holly, who was back on the couch, 'only the faintest scar and that should fade.'

'When did you take a look at it?' Lisa asked.

Holly blushed. She'd kissed that scar. Gently run her fingers and then her tongue along it; thankful the knife was plunged into this spot and not further down where Gail's heart sat. Then Holly had placed her head on Gail's chest and listened to the beat of that heart and felt the steady rise and fall of Gail's breathing. And really when she thought about it, it was in that moment she knew with absolute certainty she loved Gail.

On some level, she'd always known, but it was then that it finally crystallized, took shape in Holly's own heart, so she could no longer deny it. Gail had encircled Holly in her arms and pulled her closer, the tightness of the embrace making Holly convinced Gail knew exactly what she was feeling. The images were so vivid they had to be real. Didn't they?

'Um, Gail told me. Yes, that's it,' Holly said, conscious of how flustered she sounded and the inadequacy of the explanation, 'I must have asked.'

Lisa looked at her oddly and Gail smirked.

'Did you, Holly?' Gail said, 'you must have done. Here take a look.' She pulled down her t-shirt on one side to reveal the scar, looking pretty much as Holly described. A little fainter maybe.

'Oh that will definitely fade,' Lisa said, smug, 'good thing I re-did the sutures.'

Holly looked at Gail then. Her haircut. It was exactly the same as it was that night. Blonde and cut a little longer on one side. Gail came to sit by Holly and again pulled down her t-shirt so Holly could get a closer look at the scar. Holly couldn't help herself. She ran her fingers lightly over it. Gail shivered slightly and, smiling, bit down gently on her lip. Holly didn't conceal her look of triumph, or was it vindication. Their eyes were locked now, and Holly knew, Holly could tell for sure, Gail was remembering the same things. The same night.

'Oh Jesus, I'd say get a room but as your doctor Holly I would advise against strenuous activity,' Lisa cut in.

Lisa left then, but not before insisting Holly take some more pain meds, and cautioning once again against sex. Gail rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. Finally, Lisa let herself out, the trench coat firmly belted in place, but sans the sunglasses. Which, given it was pitch black outside, was probably a good move, Holly noted with amusement.

'Is Lisa trying to draw attention to herself?' Gail deadpanned and Holly laughed.

In bed, Gail placed an arm around Holly's waist and pressed against her back. If she hadn't gone to San Francisco, this could have been the way it was every night, Holly thought. Had she stayed, Holly knew there was no way she would have let Gail run when Steve was charged and the Peck parents disgraced. Why had leaving seemed such a good idea? Why had Holly given into her fears and done her own running?

'It happened didn't it,' Holly said abruptly. She was already a little woozy from the painkillers and realized she probably wasn't making a lot of sense. She recalled too there was something else, something far more pressing she needed to ask Gail. It was hovering there on the fringes of her consciousness but every time Holly tried to grab it, it scooted away. It was too exhausting to figure out now. She'd remember in the morning, Holly decided.

'What happened?'

'That night it was real.'

Gail kissed the side of her neck. Tenderly. Slowly. 'You overthink things, nerd,' she chuckled softly, 'sleep now.'  
…

The sky was beginning to lighten when Holly was woken up. It wasn't a noise or a movement that woke her for Gail was being incredibly stealthy. More like a feeling. Holly had slept well up until then. In fact one of the best sleeps since being visited by those dreams of Gail. Consequently, Holly was immediately alert.

She really shouldn't have been surprised by what she saw when she opened her eyes, but she had stupidly allowed herself to believe Gail meant it when she said she would stay. Gail was getting dressed. She had her t-shirt on and was slipping a leg into her jeans. She must have become aware Holly was watching because she stopped, the leg of the jeans half on, Gail herself balancing on one leg and not taking her eyes off Holly. 

It was her expression that really got to Holly, though. Neutral. Nothing. Zilch. Like yesterday hadn't happened or indeed anything before that. Like sneaking out at first light didn't matter. Like Holly didn't matter.

'What are you doing,' Holly said, sitting up.

'Look, I have to go. I'm sorry,' Gail started.

'Don't,' Holly interrupted, annunciating every word, 'say you're sorry again.'

Gail bit her lip hard. 'This,' she gestured between herself and Holly, 'is a fantasy. It can't work. I was kidding myself.'

'Did you kill Dani Asbar?' Holly knew she was lashing out, but as she spoke she also realized this was the niggling question she had wanted to ask Gail last night.

'What? No,' Gail screwed up her face, 'we went to mop up afterward.'

'So that's not where you were stabbed? You didn't get into a scuffle with Asbar?'

Gail looked at Holly, her face hard and pinched. It was like she was trying to figure out what Holly had on her, or if she indeed had anything. Gail's expression was so calculating, so shrewd it took Holly's breath away. It was if she'd been literally winded. Holly thought she might prefer the neutral look to this. Should she tell Gail they had found her blood on Asbar's coat? Holly went to speak but found she couldn't.

'No,' Gail said at last and with finality, her voice flat and tired. She pulled on her jeans and picked up her boots and started to walk out. When she reached the door, Gail didn't turn around but she stopped. 'I am sorry but this is best. You need to understand that. I can't let anything happen to you.'

'Why do you get to decide that?'

'I,' Gail turned around then, her voice softening, 'you were right. This is madness. I'm bad news, Holly. You don't need me around.'

'And what if I want you around?'

'You don't. This is my life now. This is all I can offer. Nothing and a whole bunch of crap. You deserve so much more. And don't worry about Swarek and Anderson. They won't bother you again.' Then she was gone.

Holly lay back on the bed with a groan. Why, given all the possible people she could love in this universe, did it have to be Gail? And why, despite Gail's intransigence, despite her insistence Holly was better off without her, did Holly get the feeling Gail was struggling to remain resolute? Then Holly remembered what Gail had said that night, the one Holly was so certain was not a dream. When Holly had wondered aloud if what they were doing was madness. 'It can't be madness because with you it just makes sense,' Gail had told Holly.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions and bookmarks. 
> 
> Apologies for mistakes.
> 
> As always enjoy. Let me know what you think.

Holly lay on the bed unmoving. This was madness. To want someone who was so unavailable, who even when she was here seemed to have one foot out the door, ready to disappear. To love someone who vacillated between passion and apparent cool indifference. If this were happening to one of Holly’s friends she'd counsel them to leave. Dysfunctional and destructive, that would be her verdict about the relationship. 

Holly was not a masochist. Far from it. Yet, here she was living in this state of altered reality where Gail vanished for weeks, even months on end, those long absences making her as hazy and insubstantial as nebula. Even Gail’s visits were so fleeting it was as if she were a phantasm. God, it had reached a point where Holly didn’t even know whether her encounters with Gail were real or imagined. Not that any of this mattered. There was finality to Gail’s tone, which convinced Holly that this was the last she’d see of her. But then always there was that little bit of hope, which try as she might Holly couldn’t suppress. Clearly, she was a masochist. Ugh, ugh and ugh. Holly banged her head on the pillow repeatedly. Now Gail Peck was making her inarticulate as well.

'Holly, what are you doing,' a small voice said. Tentative.

Great, she was conjuring Gail again. Maybe she wasn’t masochistic. Maybe she was simply delusional. Still, Holly stopped what she was doing and looked across at Gail who was standing in the doorway. It was hard to say which of them had the more sheepish expression.

‘Go away Gail, isn’t it enough you’re in my dreams all the time,’ Holly said wearily. She really couldn’t do this anymore. Holding a conversation with an imaginary Gail, now that was madness.

‘You dream about me?’ There was a hint of something in Gail’s tone that made Holly sit up. Was it smugness? Triumph? No, more like delight, but a wholly guileless delight, as though she were tickled at having this effect on Holly. 

‘You’re not an illusion?’

‘Uh, no,’ Gail said, coming nearer to the bed, ‘what’s going on Holly?’

‘What’s gong on? What’s going on? You tell me Gail Peck.’ Holly found her voice rising, the edge of hysteria unmistakable. Now Holly was normally cool-headed and rational, even in arguments. Yet when it came to Gail, reason seemed to desert her. She’d discovered that on more than one occasion, although the first was when she rushed to 15 after hearing some officers had taken fire. 

‘I got to the door of your apartment and I had to stop and come back because I can’t do it,’ Gail said quietly. Holly wondered if the soft tone was a deliberate counter to her outburst. No doubt the police manual had something in it about talking delusional people down.

‘Can’t do what Gail?’ Now Holly’s voice was cold, the hysteria giving way to a hot anger, which had lodged in her chest.

‘I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t want to spend every waking moment, and I guess every sleeping one too, with you. And I can't pretend that I don't, that you're not, I can't pretend anymore,’ Gail stopped abruptly, not because she was struggling to find the right words. No, Holly was convinced Gail knew exactly what she wanted to say.

'Can't pretend what?' Holly said, sounding frustrated rather than angry now. This whole thing - the whole crazy trajectory from spying Gail at that cocktail party in San Francisco to this point now, where Gail stood less than a meter away from Holly, chewing her lip just like she always did when she was nervous - was tortuous and yes maddening. 

Gail stopped chewing her lip and took a deep breath. ‘The thing is if I tell you I’m afraid it will change everything. It means you won't have a choice.'

For a moment, probably mere seconds, time seemed to stop. Holly registered Gail’s expression, apologetic and yet strangely hopeful, while also turning over the implications of what Gail was about to reveal.

'Tell me,' she said quietly. She needed to hear Gail say it. Never had she felt so completely sure about something, even if she knew it would throw everything even more off kilter.

Gail nodded gravely as if she was agreeing to a grim or unpalatable task, one that nevertheless had to be carried out. She went to speak and then made a face like she still wasn't certain. Holly wanted to say it's too late, I've figured it out. No going back now girlfriend, she thought wryly, remembering the very words Gail had said to her that day when Chloe and Sam were shot and Oliver kidnapped. When in front of all her friends from 15, Gail had held Holly’s hand in the hospital waiting area. 

The day they’d kissed in the interrogation room, and some part of Holly’s brain seemed to explode in fireworks, and she’d wanted to tell Gail she’d been waiting thirty-three years for this, for her. But it was too soon and she didn’t want to scare Gail off, and then it was too late.

'I love you, Holly. I think I did from the beginning. You are the love of my life.' The words spoken softly, soberly.

No turning back. Gail's revelation changed everything and nothing at all.  
Holly’s heart soared and dipped, much like the roller coaster ride her life had become in the last six months. If this revelation would have been difficult before, when Holly was preparing to leave Toronto and she half-hoped Gail would ask her to stay, then now it was almost impossible when Gail could offer no surety but her love. 

Was that enough for Holly? Gail knew it was and that’s why she said it would take away Holly’s choice, because above all else Gail understood not just that Holly loved her, but how much. Holly had been waiting to hear these words for so long, half afraid to hear them, but more afraid they would go unsaid. That she herself would never get the chance to tell Gail how she felt about her. 

Gail was looking at her dejectedly like she was afraid she'd overstepped. All Holly wanted to do was kiss her like there was no tomorrow. Clichéd sure, but it was exactly how she felt. It actually was an effort to psychically restrain her body, set as Holly was on launching herself at Gail. If she remained still, if she approached this quietly and sensibly, then maybe, just maybe this wouldn’t be a further descent into madness.

'What do we do now?’ she asked, her voice as hushed as Gail’s had been. 

Gail sat on the edge of the bed, at the very end so she was still out of Holly’s reach.

‘I have to ask you to wait and I don’t know for how long but until this op is done. It could be months, it might be longer but I will come back to you, I promise. That’s if you want to wait. If you can wait. And I really can’t see you in that time. It’s too risky for you. I’m mixing with some bad people. I don’t want to lead them back to you.’

Holly nodded, not trusting herself to speak just then. Just how bad were these people? If it was too risky for her, what sort of danger was Gail exposed to? What were the odds Gail couldn’t keep her promise to come back?

‘I’ll do everything I can,’ Gail said, as if reading Holly’s mind, ‘to come back to you.’

‘I know,’ Holly finally breathed, ‘but I need to understand more about what you do.’

Gail didn’t speak immediately, clearly considering.

‘Okay, you’ve guessed that what I do is very covert.’

Holly nodded. ‘Is it the Canadian Security Intelligence Service?’

‘We’re not on their books, not officially.’

Oh god, Holly thought, that just exponentially increased the dangers Gail faced. 'So you operate outside of the law?’

Gail shrugged. ‘It’s a grey area.’

‘Have you ever killed anyone?’

‘Me? Thankfully no.’

‘But your colleagues have.’

‘Yeah but only when there is no other option.’

‘Was there no other option with Dani Asbar?’

‘We didn’t kill him. We were there. Helping set up a buy-up of guns for a group we’re trying to infiltrate. I’m the bent ex-cop. That’s my cover and, given what’s happened to my family, most people believe it,’ Gail laughed harshly, ‘but Asbar had his doubts. You would have realized from the autopsy, he was a meth user.’

Holly nodded.

‘I think he was coming down. He was very twitchy and aggressive and decided I was lying so he knifed me. One of our “associates”,’ Gail used her fingers to put quotations marks around the word, ‘from the group I mentioned, shot him.’

‘You saw Asbar get shot?’

Now Gail nodded. God, what horrors had she seen, Holly wondered. Asbar had been shot at close range; execution style and his brain matter splattered everywhere.

‘So why did you come here that night?’

‘There was a possibility some of Asbar’s men were checking the hospitals looking for me. Anyway if I’d turned up at Emergency with a stab wound, chances are the hospital would have reported it to the police. Someone as smart as Traci would have made the connection between Asbar’s murder and me. I couldn’t risk that.’

‘But they found out anyway,’ Holly said, ‘from the surveillance footage.’

‘Yeah, we missed that camera. It was careless.’

‘So this group – are they terrorists?’

Gail hesitated and then said ‘yeah’ so quietly Holly could barely hear it.

‘Since when do terrorists hang out with women with short hair and leather jackets?’ 

‘Holly, you know all terrorists aren’t Muslim, right?’ Gail said, and when Holly nodded, she continued, ‘it’s a bunch of white supremacists. They think Canada is far too liberal. They want to stop immigration. Ban mosques. That sort of thing, but they believe the only way to do that is by taking up arms. As for me? They don’t care what I look like, as long as I get them weapons. As far as they’re concerned we’re just mercenaries. We go where the money is.’

‘But why arm them. Isn’t that defeating the purpose?’

‘Because it’s a way to gain their trust. We believe they have something much bigger planned. A terrorist attack. We don’t where or when, but we’re going to find out.’

The fervor with which Gail said this chilled Holly. What lengths would she be willing to go to stop these people? Would Gail risk her own life? Holly had no doubt. This was the woman, who when asked if she was going back out to the street to face a cop killer, told Holly it was her job. There had been no question about it. No hesitation. Just a faint confusion Holly wouldn’t see that. 

‘It’s too much, isn’t it? Gail said after a length of silence, ‘to put you through this.’

Holly reached out for Gail then and gave into that instinct to kiss her. It was desperate and hard. If Gail was surprised, she didn’t show it. Before long they were falling back onto the bed, and Holly was yanking Gail’s t-shirt off with such force she heard the sound of material ripping, and yes kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

‘Wait, wait, oh my god wait,’ Gail said, pulling back, ‘what about your stitches?’

‘Gail, if I not going to see you for months, maybe longer, I don’t care if I pop a few stitches. Anyway, we can be careful.’ 

‘Well, I know I can but you, nerd, I’m not so sure about,’ Gail smiled cheekily, ‘I think you might need to give me a new shirt to wear later.’

In the event they didn’t pop any of the sutures, although careful wouldn’t be a word Holly would use to describe what did transpire. Vocal might be one. At first it was a frantic coming together, the desperateness of the kiss giving way to a feverish scramble, which in turn gave way to something less frenzied. An unhurried and careful mapping of each other’s bodies with lips and tongues and fingers, a recommitting of the feel, the shape, and the taste of the other to memory. 

It was past midday when they finally stopped, not quite sated. In fact with Gail, she could never be sated, Holly decided as she traced lazy patterns across her stomach. She’d always want to come back for more. Never had sex felt like this with anyone else.

‘I can’t believe your abs,’ Holly said, leaning in to trail kisses across them.

Gail laughed. ‘Training,’ she said, ‘we’re expected to keep in shape but god it’s hard work.’

‘And you’d rather eat donuts,’ Holly observed.

Gail laughed again. Happy. Almost carefree. It reminded Holly this was just a snatched moment, a small reprieve for both of them from the life Gail now led.

‘Why did you decide to work for this – I don’t know what to call it, unit?’

‘Unit’s probably a good word,’ Gail agreed lazily, stretching so her arms were raised above her head and her abs became even more defined. ‘My mother set it up. When she saw the writing on the wall in the force.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Elaine wasn’t corrupt. She may have turned a blind eye because my father and Steve were up to their necks in it and she must have suspected something was going on. Elaine took some of the blame so the charges against them wouldn’t be so huge. Sacrificed herself – five years behind bars so they’d do less time.’

‘That’s,’ Holly floundered.

‘Insane right,’ Gail supplied, ‘and she knew my days were probably numbered on the force. Not many people believed I wasn’t involved in the corruption. So before she was convicted, Elaine set up a meeting with this, ah, unit.’

‘So in her own way she made sure you were okay.’

‘I guess,’ Gail shrugged, ‘in fact, it turns out Elaine basically trained me for this kind of job practically from birth. All that being dropped off in the wilderness up at the cottage to make my own way home, memorizing city grids, being forced to recall exactly what people said, what they looked like and what they were wearing. And I had no ties. No family. No girlfriend. I was just the sort of person the unit was looking for.’

‘And now?’

‘And now Holly Stewart you’ve gone messed it all up because now I have a girlfriend I think?’ Gail’s smile was that impish one Holly loved.

Holly nodded her head so enthusiastically, Gail had to laugh and lean up to kiss her.

‘So once we’ve finished this op, I’m going to disentangle myself. They probably won’t be happy, but,’ Gail shrugged. 

‘Can they stop you?’ Holly asked, trying not to sound alarmed. She hadn’t even imagined that might be an obstacle.

‘Let them try,’ Gail said, shifting onto her side so she was looking down on Holly, her smile wide and adoring. She kissed Holly then, slowly and deliberately, taking her time, just lips to begin with and then tongues. Holly pulled Gail across and on top of her and they continued to kiss, until Gail sat up, straddling Holly.

Then Holly was urging her upwards and further still and Gail was placing a knee on either side of Holly’s head. It wasn’t something they’d tried before and Holly felt a buzz of excitement. She breathed in the delicious scent that was Gail and then ran her tongue along the length of Gail’s opening and then just inside. Gail moaned, and Holly moved her tongue to her clit. Gail leaned back then and twisted slightly, one arm behind her back. Holly thought Gail wanted to give her more access or create a better angle for herself, but all of a sudden and quite unexpectedly, she felt Gail’s hand cup her center and then her fingers on her clit. 

Impressive dexterity. There was something to be said for that fitness regime Gail was forced to do, Holly decided as she tried to simultaneously concentrate on what she was doing to Gail and what Gail was doing to her. She had a brief flash of her cerebellum being overloaded, rendering her motor skills useless but then the pressure of Gail’s fingers and the sensation of Gail’s ass brushing her nipples brought Holly immediately back to the present. 

Somehow they managed a matching rhythm, and just before both of them tumbled into yet another orgasm, Holly placed two fingers inside Gail, her tongue still on her clit. The release was swift but prolonged, the noises Gail was making a spur to Holly’s own orgasm. Afterward, they lay wrapped up together and Holly laughed. ‘You’re quite the contortionist these days.’

‘Did you like that?’

‘Oh yes. It was obvious wasn’t it.’

‘Well, ye-ah,’ Gail grinned and kissed Holly’s shoulder, ‘I’m hungry nerd. Breakfast.’ With that Gail bounded out of bed. Which was new too. Usually, she was always the last to get up, dragging the covers over her head and groaning at the thought of reentering the world.

Holly didn’t follow immediately. God, they had had so much sex. More than Holly had ever had in a single morning that was for sure. She felt deliciously relaxed, the endorphins still swirling through her body, producing both a charge and a delightful sort of lethargy. Already she felt sore but in all the right places. It was as though they were creating some sort of sex bank, storing up these moments for the long stretch of abstinence. The winter ahead, Holly thought, all of a sudden feeling as bleak as the season itself.

She found Gail in the kitchen heating up pastries she’d purchased on the way over to the apartment the day before. From a bakery two doors down, apparently. It meant Gail had planned on staying for breakfast, initially anyway Holly realized. Somehow, it made her feel a little better about catching Gail trying to sneak out. Gail had made coffee too; espressos, which they both liked in the morning, even though it was now past lunch. Coming up behind her, Holly wrapped her hands around Gail’s waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. ‘You are amazing,’ she breathed and Gail chuckled. 

‘You’re the amazing one. That last thing you did it was just, wow.’

Holly laughed and held Gail tighter.

Over breakfast there were smiles and little jokes, even the occasional giggle and any excuse to touch. Holly didn’t want it to end. Yes, this could have been theirs always if she hadn’t left Toronto. She fought to push down the terrible sense of regret, of waste, that thought provoked, determined not to let it overshadow the little time they had left together.

‘Holly, if something should happen to me, they will tell you,’ Gail said, breaking the bubble anyway.

‘Oh Gail,’ Holly sighed. It was like a band had been tightened around her heart. She stood and cleared the plates, taking them to the kitchen and dumping them in the sink. 

She stayed there, leaning against the counter and looking out the kitchen window at the busy street below. The day had warmed up and people were out and about in shorts and dresses. There were cyclists and dog walkers, and for once the car drivers seemed fairly good-natured about sharing the space with this crowd. Of course, it was Saturday, Holly realized with a start. She’d lost track. Saturday, it made people go a little slower, be a little less hurried.

Holly felt Gail behind her and turned, catching the worried look, the chewing of the bottom lip. ‘I love you Gail Peck,’ she said, ‘like I’ve never loved anyone. Like I didn’t know was possible.’

Gail smiled so her entire face lit up.

‘You knew that, right,’ Holly tilted her head to one side, a half smile beginning to form at the corner of lips.

‘I was fairly sure,’ Gail said, bashful, clearly even now not quite believing Holly would choose her, ‘otherwise why agree to this, to me.’

Holly kissed her then. Fiercely. She kissed away the little bit of self-doubt she heard in Gail’s words, and she kissed the certainty of her love onto those plump, beautiful lips. Gail lifted her onto the counter top, making Holly wonder at the strength in those noodle arms. Okay, she thought, as Gail moved her hand to the waistband of Holly’s yoga pants, we’re having sex again. Not that Holly minded. Oh no, there was absolutely no objection on her part. Quite the contrary.

The leave-taking was hard. They both held each other close for a long time, neither speaking. Holly didn’t really want to admit it, in fact was desperately trying not to think about it, but hovering over them was the possibility this may be the last time they would ever see each other. How do you say goodbye to someone knowing that? Holly had no idea, but now she did actually kiss Gail like there was no tomorrow and then Gail was gone.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

At work on Monday Dr Bourke was fuming.

‘It’s outrageous the police didn’t take the correct steps to ensure your safety,’ he said, pacing up and down Holly’s office. ‘I’ve asked Sergeant Shaw to review procedure. We can’t have the welfare of our staff jeopardized.’

‘Or a crime scene compromised,’ Holly added.

‘Indeed,’ Dr Bourke agreed. He was a slightly odd man. Not very socially adept but brilliant at his work. Holly suspected he was somewhere on the autism spectrum. High functioning but awkward with people when it didn’t directly involve work. ‘You’re alright though,’ he said a little diffidently. Despite his tone, Holly sensed he was genuinely worried.

Holly nodded.

‘Good, good,’ Dr Bourke said and took his leave.

Traci appeared about an hour later. Apologetic and concerned, even though Holly reassured her there was no need to say sorry on behalf of Sam and Frankie.

‘Well, seeing as they’re unlikely to, I thought I would,’ Traci said.

‘They sent me flowers,’ Holly shrugged, ‘but G – I threw them out.’

‘You know they’ve both been sent on temporary postings. Frankie to Porcupine, where apparently the Ontario Provincial Police have a station, and Sam to Pickle Lake. Population just over 400. He’ll be the only officer stationed there. It’s almost like someone had a sense of humor.’

‘Oh,’ Holly said. Was this what Gail meant when she said Sam and Frankie wouldn’t be bothering Holly again? Porcupine and Pickle. It had Gail written all over it.

‘Kind of thing Gail would do,’ Traci ventured, as if reading Holly’s mind. Holly started and then cursed herself for being so obvious.

‘How’s Andy taking the news?’ she said, deciding to steer Traci away from talk of Gail.

‘Andy’s not happy, although she blasted Sam after your accident so maybe a cooling off period might be good for them. In fact a lot of people at 15 weren’t impressed by Sam and Frankie’s behavior,’ Traci said, ‘anyway they’re out of the picture for six months, initially at least.’

Holly nodded. She was aware Traci was watching her very closely, looking for what she didn’t know. Well, some sign she’d seen Gail, she guessed. Traci rose out of the chair where she was seated opposite Holly’s desk, and it seemed as if she were about to leave. 

Go, go, go Holly willed her, not certain she could maintain her cool in front of Traci for much longer. But Traci didn’t leave. Instead, she sat back down again and reaching into her bag pulled out a black and white photo. Then she placed it carefully on the desk in front of Holly. 

It obviously came from the surveillance footage found at Dani Asbar’s warehouse. There was Gail, black hair and pale face peeping out of her hoodie, and next to her was the man Holly had seen steering her by the elbow at the cocktail party in in Francisco. The man who had played Gail’s husband. Looking less urbane now dressed like Gail in a hoodie and jeans.

‘Thing is I arrested this man three years ago,’ Traci pointed to Gail’s pretend husband, ‘went by the name of Karl Davis. We caught him doing a big buy-up of guns. Within hours of his arrest, we got word to release him. Drop the charges. Forget the whole case. We suspected the Canadian Security Intelligence Service.’

‘The Intelligence Service,’ Holly breathed. God, did Traci know, but then if she knew it was alright wasn’t it? Because then she’d realize Gail wasn’t crooked, wasn’t a criminal.

‘Yep,’ Traci nodded, ‘remember Holly I said I was getting married and thankfully my fiancé wasn’t a cop.’ Now it was Holly’s turn to nod. ‘Well, he works for the Intelligence Service.’

‘He’s a spy?’ Holly said, not sure where Traci was going with this.

‘An analyst. And he looked into it for me on the quiet. No one by the name of Karl Davis or Gail Peck for that matter, or anyone who looks remotely like them, works for the Intelligence Service.’

‘Okay,’ Holly said, now not sure if she should be relieved by this revelation.

‘But he said there were rumors about an offshoot of the Intelligence Service, a small group so covert only a few people in the organization know about it. A ghost group, it can operate outside the law and nothing will ever be traced back to the Service. Thing is, if they get in real trouble, the Intelligence Service cuts them loose. Wash their hands of them. They’re on their own.’ 

Traci paused then as if choosing her words carefully. Until now her tone had been measured, a mere recitation of facts. When she spoke again, her vehemence took Holly by surprise. ‘We can’t let Gail be a part of that.’

Holly blinked. So Traci did know or at least she’d worked it out. Gail always said she was smart. It had been Elaine Peck who put Gail in contact with this group. What the fuck had she got her daughter into this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?
> 
> I plan to update Breaking Through next. I’m kind of itching to get back to that fic, but have been a little distracted by Elusive. Though there was the Valentine’s Day extra, which comes from the Breaking Through universe.


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> Thanks as ever for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and for reading. It is so fantastic to hear from you. Let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it. Apologies for mistakes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

She hadn’t aged at all. A few faint lines around the corner of her mouth and her hair was a dirty blonde now, but other than that she looked almost exactly the same as she did that morning ten years ago when she asked Holly to wait for her. 

‘Gail,’ Holly breathed, moving a little into the hallway and pulling the door so it was ajar. ‘Gail,’ she said again, disbelieving.

‘Hey,’ Gail said, with a rueful face. She looked down at her boots and then back up at Holly with an uncertain smile, shy and considerably nervous. 

Holly didn’t say anything for a moment. Just stared. The sound of the television drifted through the half-open door and the yap of the neighbor’s dog from across the hall.

‘Ten years,’ Holly said, ‘ten years and all you can say is hey.’ She didn’t raise her voice so as not to disturb the occupants inside, but Holly knew she sounded aggressive. 

She had every right to be mad. Oh, she’d waited and waited, and then waited some more and then refused to stop waiting until Traci and Andy finally convinced her there was no hope. Gail was gone. Not ever coming back. They hadn’t actually said it, never put it in so many words but they didn’t have to because Holly knew Gail was probably dead.

‘I’m sorry,’ Gail started.

‘Don’t,’ Holly hissed and Gail looked chastened. ‘I don’t want to hear you’re sorry.’

Before Gail could reply, a voice came from inside, light and pleasant, almost singsong. ‘Who is it, Hols?’ she said. 

For an instant, Holly couldn’t think who the voice belonged to but then she remembered. Her girlfriend. Evelyn. An old fashioned name. She was sweet and caring and she loved Holly. In the next moment, she appeared at the door, a toddler on her hip. When she saw c Gail, Evelyn’s expression was open and curious. Then when Holly didn’t make introductions, Evelyn looked from her to Gail quizzically, never losing her patina of pleasantness.

‘Uh,’ Holly pushed her glasses back on her face, ‘this is Gail. Gail, Evelyn.’ It was rushed and offhand and Holly wished for both their sakes she hadn’t had to put them through this. The toddler twisted in Evelyn’s arms and held out grubby hands towards Holly.

‘I’m just going to put Jay in the bath,’ Evelyn said amicably, lightly touching Holly’s forearm in a way that was both proprietorial and reassuring. She nodded in Gail’s direction, ‘nice meeting you, Gail.’ Still, she shot a slightly worried look in Holly’s direction before turning back into the apartment.

Gail looked after Evelyn blankly. ‘I should go,’ she said.

‘Wait,’ Holly said.

‘But you didn’t,’ Gail shrugged, suddenly small and defeated.

‘Fuck, it was ten years Gail and not even a single word from you. No indication you were even alive. You couldn’t expect me to keep waiting.’

‘No, of course not,’ Gail said, head down and hands bunched in her leather jacket. Then she looked up and straight at Holly, unflinching, determined. ‘I’m glad you’re happy, Holly.’ She turned and started down the stairs. 

Gail was glad she was happy? Could Holly describe herself as that? How could she explain that with each passing year the hole in her heart got bigger and bigger until Evelyn, pleasant, cheerful Evelyn came along and papered it over, enough so Holly could play along, enough so she felt like she had something of a life. And now she had a kid and a cat and a mortgage on an apartment in a good part of town, and Evelyn had just enrolled Jay in a progressive preschool and was talking about it being a good time to try for another baby. 

Holly stood on the threshold of her apartment, half in and half out. She wanted to go after Gail, to stop her from leaving, to pull her close, to press her hands to Gail’s cheeks and lean in to kiss those delectable pouty lips. To experience just once more the centeredness, the calm and yet the fervor Gail elicited in her. To know again that love which was so impossibly exquisite, so great that no matter what intervened she and Gail always found their way to one another. But who was Holly kidding; one more time with Gail would never be enough.

Holly woke in a sweat. It was the dream again. Disconcertingly real. It wasn't the first time she'd had it. In fact the recurring sex dreams had given way to this one in which Gail reappeared again after years to find Holly had moved on. The exact length of Gail's absence varied from dream to dream. It was possibly what she feared most, Holly realized, that Gail’s absence would stretch interminably until, finally, her resolve would crumble and, in a futile attempt to stave off the terrible emptiness, Holly might stupidly decide to settle with another girlfriend. Geesh, look how well that had worked the first time she and Gail split. Even her dream self should have known better.

Still she mustn't see the dream as portentous, like some kind of omen. It was just her subconscious talking, she reasoned. Although in truth, if Holly actually allowed herself think about what terrified her most, it wasn’t that she’d move on but the thought of Gail’s death. Still, Holly was flustered by the dream and annoyed with her dream self for caving, for not waiting, even if it was ten years. Where the fuck had the insipid Evelyn come from, she wondered? Was Holly’s subconscious paying her out for falling for Gail who was anything but insipid? But then could she wait ten years for Gail?

Getting up, Holly went to the kitchen for water. She held the glass against her forehead, welcoming the cool of the liquid, and peered out into the night. It had become something of a habit to gaze out the window over the sink when wakened from a dream about Gail as if the outside world would somehow ground her. Remove the vestiges of the dream which still clung to her. 

The streetlights were yellow against the night sky but sharply defined in the way they always were when the air turned cooler. The occasional car made its way down the road and then a cyclist, precariously balancing a parcel on the handlebars of his bike. Next came the insomniac dog-walker, threading his way along the sidewalk, patiently stopping to let the dog sniff a scent or pee on a pole. His nocturnal wanderings had become so familiar Holly felt as if she knew him. 

Then a police cruiser drifted by, doing a circuit of the neighborhood. It reminded Holly of that earlier, simpler time when it might have been Gail on patrol, a time when their heartbreak came from misunderstanding, not this separation. Holly looked away from the street and down to pick the peeling paint from the windowsill in neat little strips. She had no choice now but to take a chance on an unknown future with Gail. That much she knew.

It had been two months since she had last seen Gail. Holly sighed. She was out there somewhere. Holly could feel it. Intuition. That quick response from the reptilian parts of the brain, the ones that had been around since prehistoric times. The limbic system. Science had proved you could trust it to make better, faster decisions. Most of the time, anyway. Gail was out there and she was coming back, Holly was certain. She knew it in her gut.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

When Holly arrived at work the following morning, Traci was waiting outside her office. Her expression was determined and Holly knew she had no hope of fobbing her off. She sighed, something she seemed to be doing a lot these days, and motioned for the detective to follow her.

Once Holly sat down at her desk, Traci slapped a newspaper cutting in front of her. It looked as though it was taken from the social pages and included a photograph Holly recognized or at least the occasion at which it was taken. Holly had the distinct impression she was about to be interrogated and she didn’t like it. Not one little bit.

‘Kurt Coffey and his wife Gail with Dunant CEO Julian Crozier at the annual Dunant Gala,’ Traci read out the caption beneath the photograph, ‘is that when you saw Gail in San Francisco? Didn’t you say you thought she was married?’

‘I was mistaken about seeing her. I told you that Traci,’ Holly shrugged.

‘Funny that, because,’ Traci pointed to a figure in the background of the photo, ‘isn’t that you watching Gail and very intently from the look of things.’

Holly bit her lip. She kept her eyes fixed on the photo, aware Traci was scanning her face for any telltale sign. ‘Yes,’ she admitted finally, ‘we didn’t speak, though.’ Which was true. Holly wasn’t lying. Gail had kissed her and Holly had kissed her back and then Gail had apologized and left. Holly hadn’t said a word.

‘Yeah,’ Traci said, sounding like she didn’t believe her, ‘I got curious. Seeing as Kurt Coffey bears an uncanny resemblance to the Kurt Davis I arrested. So I looked into Coffey. He’s CEO of Coffey Enterprises. It’s a registered business. Produces weapons apparently. In the last financial year, it made several million dollars in profit. So I paid a visit to its headquarters here in Toronto. It took a bit of digging but I finally got an address and this is what I found.’ 

With a flourish, Traci placed a photo on Holly’s desk next to clipping of Gail and Kurt. It showed an eleven-story high-rise probably built in the 1980s. Box-like with large square windows, it was neither showy nor simple. The sort of place you might find accountants and insurance brokers or small law firms specializing in conveyancing.

‘Looks impressive?’ Traci said, ‘a big office block like that.’

Holly wasn’t sure how to respond. ‘I guess,’ she hesitated. 

‘Except it isn’t,’ Traci said, ‘Coffey Enterprises rents a single suite on the fourth floor. It was all locked up the day I was there. A guy from the next door suite – a tax agent – told me he’s occasionally seen a few people coming and going but most of the time it’s empty.’

Holly nodded. She wasn’t entirely sure what Traci was trying to prove but she knew the detective was trying to trip her up. 

‘I showed him a photo of Gail and he said he’d definitely remember if he saw someone that hot,’ Traci half rolled her eyes, ‘but he recognized Kurt. Reckoned he was there about two months back.’

‘So?’ Holly said coolly.

‘So did Gail mention any of this to you when you last saw her?’ It was said casually as if it were an established fact that Holly had spoken to Gail recently.

‘I already told you, I didn’t speak to Gail at that gala.’

Traci looked at Holly steadily for a long moment and then shook her head. ‘I’m trying to help Gail,’ she said quietly.

‘Why?’

‘Because I wasn’t there for her when I should have been - when you left, when Steve was arrested and when her parents went to jail as well. I can’t help thinking had I not turned my back on Gail, she wouldn’t have made this choice.’ 

It was said heavily, and it felt genuine but could Holly trust Traci? If she wasn’t sincere then Traci was a really good actor. Still, it was too risky to divulge anything to Traci, to chance she was telling the truth, Holly decided.

‘The work Gail is doing is extremely dangerous. My finance, Jordan, told me its rumored the operatives in this ghost unit are considered expendable, and the operatives themselves are people who for whatever reason find it hard to exist in regular society. Look at this,’ Traci pulled out a sheet of paper and placed it in front of Holly. It was a copy of an army record. In one corner was a photo of Kurt with a buzz cut looking young and fresh-faced.

‘Kurt Taylor,’ Holly read slowly, ‘Canadian Special Operations. Discharged. PTSD.’

‘I’d guess that’s his real name. Kurt had multiple tours of Afghanistan. Apparently, he’s permanently on high alert or so the army psychologist told me. I went to Kurt Taylor’s last known address. The woman who answered the door had never heard of him, and she’d been living there for the last twenty years. It doesn’t add up, does it, Holly?’ 

Holly shook her head slowly.

‘Holly, I know you think you’re protecting Gail by pretending you know nothing but you’re not. When you’re ready to talk, you know how to find me. My intentions are good. You have to believe that. And I’m goanna find Gail, even if you don’t help me.’

With a curt nod, Traci walked out, leaving the photos and Kurt Taylor’s army record spread across Holly’s desk. Could she believe Traci? Holly wanted to. She wished she had someone to confide in, besides Lisa. The plastic surgeon didn’t seem to appreciate the seriousness of Gail’s situation. To her, it was all cloak and dagger, a game more than anything else. Holly suspected Lisa thought Gail would reappear any day now and resume her normal life. If only.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Two weeks later, Holly was sitting in a hotel lobby in San Francisco. It was a nice hotel. Holly decided she deserved that. She’d come back to testify in a case and her old work had offered to put her up in budget accommodation, but Holly politely declined. The friend she was supposed to be meeting for dinner had just messaged to say she was caught up in surgery and wouldn’t make it. 

Carly was a colleague of Rachel’s who she’d worked with in Toronto when Carly was on a secondment. When Holly had moved to San Francisco, Rachel suggested Carly call her. It was supposed to be a date but there was no spark, besides Holly just wasn’t over Gail and she’d already learned that dating someone else to fill the void was a mistake. Still, she and Carly had got along well and she became one of the few friends Holly made in her three years in the fog city. 

Now Holly contemplated what to do. She could go out and find a café or eat dinner here at the hotel restaurant. Better still she could order room service. That way she could just get into her pajamas and totally blob out. She was due back on the stand first thing tomorrow morning, so an early night was appealing.

Holly heard her before she saw her. That voice, soft and somehow husky all at once. She was being Mrs Gail Coffey. Standing near the reception desk with her husband. Her clothes were casual but elegant, clearly expensive. Tailored light grey pants which came to her ankles and a pair of plain black loafers, a crisp white linen shirt and a cerulean jacket buttoned in the middle with the sleeves pushed up to the elbow. Her hair short and slicked back across her forehead. The whole effect was mannish yet feminine, the blue-green of her jacket accentuating the color of her eyes. Holly caught her breath, which made her think, a little sardonically, that Gail was literally breathtakingly beautiful.

Holly stood. She couldn’t stay here, couldn’t witness this. It was probably better if she made herself scarce anyway. She and Gail weren’t supposed to see each other. Not yet. Neither of the elevators was at ground level, and an age seemed to pass before one arrived. When the doors slid open, a large family spilled out with the parents vociferously wrangling children and suitcases. 

Holly had her back to the reception area but sensed Gail and Kurt had walked passed her to the front entrance and outside. She was sure she heard Gail’s voice again, drifting across the room and over the noisy complaints of the family who were taking an eternity to vacant the elevator.

Once in the elevator, Holly smelt Gail, rather than heard her. Gail had come in behind her so quietly, so stealthily, Holly was only alerted to her presence by that scent - fresh, white musk oil with a dash of citrus - and by a light breath against her own ear.

‘God, you are so beautiful,’ Gail breathed as the elevator doors shut. 

Holly turned and pushed Gail against the wall, the speed with which she moved taking Gail momentarily by surprise. It was like that time in the interrogation room when Holly had brandished a report and a story about inconsistencies and launched herself at Gail. Just like that day, Gail caught on quickly, returning the kiss Holly had started, and just like that day, the small space of the elevator car was soon filled with the sounds of their pants and moans.

‘Wait, wait, oh my god wait,’ Gail said, pulling back, unconsciously echoing her words from the interrogation room all those years ago, ‘I told my fake husband I left something in the room. I can’t stay but can I see you tonight? It might be very late.’ Gail looked at Holly so hopefully, so earnestly as if there were some doubt Holly would agree. It was such an endearing entreaty, like a small child begging to stay up past their bedtime, Holly couldn’t have said no even if she’d wanted to.

‘Yes,’ she breathed, running a hand down Gail’s arm.

‘Room number?’ Gail smiled, looking simultaneously relieved and happy.

‘Don’t you know it?’ Holly teased, tilting her head to one side, ‘you seem to know everything else about me.’

Gail shook her head, her smile now one of amusement.

‘507’ Holly supplied just as the elevator doors opened on her floor.

‘Okay,’ Gail gave Holly a quick parting kiss.

‘Oh and Gail,’ Holly turned as she walked out of the elevator, ‘fix your lipstick before you see your,’ she paused and arched an eyebrow, ‘husband.’ 

With that, Holly leaned back into the elevator, and using her thumb, very slowly and very deliberately wiped a smudge of lipstick from the corner of Gail’s mouth. Gail’s eyes widened ever so slightly and then her lips quirked in delight. The doors slid shut and Holly was left in the corridor wondering what new madness she had signed up to.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Holly ordered room service. Just something light. A salad and a wine. She tried to read a journal article but for once couldn’t concentrate. Flicking on the news, she just felt depressed. Finally, she decided to run a bath, adding the lime and coconut salts supplied by the hotel, the scent both crisp and soothing. 

By the time she’d finished soaking, it was nearly 10 pm. Gail had said she’d probably be late. That could mean anything. Should Holly wait up? Somehow that seemed desperate. In any case, it might be well past midnight before Gail appeared and Holly needed to be rested for the trial. 

Deciding to try and at least get some sleep, Holly then faced the dilemma of what to wear to bed. God, she felt like a teenager on a first date. After some deliberation, she shrugged off the white bathrobe provided by the hotel and slipped into bed naked. No need to be coy, she decided. It didn’t take a genius to work it out. If Gail was coming by late, the first thing they would do was have sex. Then Holly planned on asking Gail some questions.

It was just after midnight when Holly woke. Surprisingly, up until then, she’d slept deeply. It was dark in the room, the heavy drapes cutting out any light from outside. She felt Gail’s presence rather than saw her. Then Gail whispered her name and Holly realized she was standing at the foot of the bed, an indistinct shape in the dense blackness.

‘I’m awake,’ Holly said, sitting up against the pillows.

Gail moved to sit on the bed next to her, and Holly looped her arms around her neck, pulling Gail towards her. Gail smelt of cigars and whiskey and for a moment Holly imagined she’d been at a gentleman’s club or a speakeasy, which interestingly made Holly the gangster’s moll. Not that she minded, not when Gail was kissing her like she was. Slowly, teasingly, expertly, almost as though she were giving a preview of what was to come. 

‘Naked Holly,’ Gail chuckled, running her hand across Holly’s back, ‘hoping to get some?’

‘You bet,’ Holly said, pulling Gail closer still.

Later, they lay holding each other, Holly with her head against Gail’s chest, Gail tracing lazy circles across Holly’s shoulder.

‘I have to go,’ Gail said regretfully, ‘my um husband will be back soon.’

‘Weirdly it feels like we’re having some sort of clandestine affair,’ Holly said, shifting so she side by side with Gail.

‘Clandestine yes, affair no,’ Gail laughed. She went to push the sheet off, but Holly stopped her hand and Gail looked at her quizzically but made no move to get up. It was now or never, Holly realized. She needed to get some answers.

‘How did you know I was staying at this hotel?’

‘I didn’t,’ Gail said, ‘this time it was actually a coincidence.’

‘So you have kept tabs on me?’

‘Sort of,’ Gail shrugged, ‘your name came up when we were investigating Dunant and Co. We hacked into their network so when I saw your name it set off alarm bells. I did a bit more digging and found out about the job offer. They were involved in terrorist activities, I didn’t want you mixed up in that.’

‘But in New York, you knew about the Toronto job offer’ Holly prodded.

Gail made a rueful face. ‘I know it makes me seem like some kind of creepy stalker but I wasn’t invading your privacy, I promise. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you hacked my computer?’ Holly tried not to sound indignant. She wanted to give Gail a chance to explain, but this crossed a line.

Gail shook her head. ‘God no. I’d never do that. We’ve been keeping tabs on 15. It seems there may be a bent cop whose helping supply weapons to groups like the one we’ve infiltrated. We were checking all the emails. Jarvis was on the interview panel for your job, right.’

Holly nodded.

‘I saw the email with the short list of applicants. Your name was on it.’

‘Oh,’ Holly said, ‘so the bent cop?’

‘Still have no idea. And now,’ Gail cupped her hands around Holly’s cheeks and kissed her, ‘and now I really have to go.’

‘Traci’s worried about you,’ Holly blurted out.

‘Worried,’ Gail screwed up her face, ‘why?’

‘She’s been doing some digging. She knows about Coffey Industries and she’s heard about the ghost unit in the Intelligence Service.’

‘Traci should stop listening to her fiancé,’ Gail said lightly, ‘all those spooks, even the desk-bound analysts like Jordan, are full of conspiracy theories. This op is nearly over. Traci has nothing to worry about.’

‘Do you trust Traci? Can I trust Traci?’ Holly asked, an urgency and a hopefulness to her tone. Holly so wanted Gail to say yes. She so needed someone else in their corner, especially given how random these meetings with Gail were, and even when she saw her, Gail wasn’t exactly a wellspring of information.

‘Probably wise not to trust anyone, nerd,’ Gail said gently. With that, instead of getting out of bed, Gail kissed Holly, harder this time, moving over her, and running a hand down her stomach to between her legs and Holly knew she was lost.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

At breakfast in the hotel café, Holly couldn’t help but look around for Gail. There was no sign of her or indeed Kurt Coffey. Holly still had that post-sex feeling, her limbs deliciously relaxed and her body sated. Despite the interrupted night, she felt rested.

Her left shoulder throbbed a little from where Gail had bitten it, a touch hard maybe but at the time it had made Holly cry out in pleasure, the application of Gail’s teeth intensifying the effect of the fingers she'd placed inside Holly. Now the bite mark, red and a little swollen, and the ache it caused was proof Gail, and the little bit of the night she and Holly had stolen for themselves, was indeed real. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was five days later. Holly’s second day back at work after returning from San Francisco. The body was down by the river. Male. Shot at close range to the back of the head. Execution style so the victim had fallen forward onto his face. 

Even before they turned him over, Holly knew. It might have been the well-cut graying hair and the carefully manicured fingernails that tipped her off or maybe it was intuition, plain and simple. When they turned over the body, there was Kurt staring at her, pale and lifeless, a neat hole between his eyes where the bullet had exited. Exactly the manner in which Dani Asbar was murdered.

Holly sucked in a breath, and she thought she heard Traci do the same.

‘Now will you help me find Gail,’ Traci said.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting. Work has been crazy and then I was away for a few days so I didn’t have time to write. 
> 
> As always thanks so much for the comments, subscriptions, and kudos and for reading. Let me know what you think of this chapter – you know I love getting your reviews. And I am really sorry I gave a few of you heart attacks with Holly’s dream. 
> 
> Not as much of Gail in this chapter but that is about to change. From the next chapter on, we’ll see a lot more of Gail.
> 
> Apologies for mistakes. Hope you enjoy.  
> ...................................................................

Traci didn’t accompany Holly to the morgue. She sent a newly minted detective called Chloe Price. Holly was so thrown by the discovery Kurt was the victim it took a moment for her to place Chloe. 

The officer who was shot that day Holly raced to the police station, her only thought to make sure it wasn’t Gail. Dov’s girlfriend or ex maybe? All sweetness and light and faker than a big wedding was the way Gail had described her, but then she’d been genuinely upset when Chloe was unconscious in the hospital. Still, Gail always insisted she was driven crazy by Chloe’s incessant chatter and eternal optimism.

‘So how are you enjoying being back in Toronto,’ Chloe asked once Holly began the autopsy.

‘Um good, great,’ Holly answered distractedly. She hadn’t been really enjoying much of anything lately. Gail’s absence and the constant fear about her safety made that impossible. 

The exception was the sex. Yep, Holly had enjoyed that. There was an urgency to it that came from the sense their time together was stolen, furtively grafted from the real world. A reckless sort of craving caused by not knowing when they might see each other again. In fact, Holly had never experienced sex like this before, and it left her always wanting more. Even when they first got together - Gail discovering lesbian sex and the two of them each other - and they’d spent a lot of their time fucking, there wasn’t this feverish, almost illicit frisson to the sex. 

Holly had joked about it being like an affair but that description wasn’t too far off the mark. They always met in secret and they never went out together in public. Traci might have her suspicions but, apart from Lisa, no one knew Holly and Gail were together. Would there ever come a time Holly wondered when she could openly walk down the street holding Gail’s hand? In fact, could she even imagine a future with Gail where they settled down, maybe even had a couple of kids, and grew old together? 

That image didn’t gel with the badass Gail who was currently slipping in and out of her life. On the other hand, Holly had to admit it bordered on ridiculous how alluring she found this side of Gail. Yet it hadn’t always been just about sex. Even if the attraction was there from the beginning, she and Gail had been friends first. 

From the very start that day in the woods, Holly had found the beautiful blonde officer, who had scowled so intently and didn’t bother to conceal her disdain, intriguing. Gail had given the impression she didn’t care about what other people thought of her and certainly wasn’t seeking their approval. In truth, Gail’s attitude skirted close to outright rudeness, but at the time Holly had thought it bold and weirdly attractive. Later she learned it was a way for Gail to keep people at arm’s length, to shield herself from hurt and betrayal. 

Yet, she had let Holly in and quickly. In fact, only a matter of hours later, as Holly pondered the greasy bones on the morgue slab, Gail started to open up. The cat in the tree story had been bizarre and slightly hard to follow, but even then Holly sensed Gail wasn’t used to sharing this pensive side with others. 

‘It’s a fun place,’ Chloe’s smile was guileless.

‘What? Sorry?’ Holly said distractedly, realizing she hadn’t been listening to the peppy detective.

‘Toronto. It can be a fun place. You should come to the Penny one night. Hang out with the guys from 15.’ Chloe clapped her hands together in excitement. She was clearly tickled by the idea.

‘Um,’ Holly wasn’t sure how to respond. Maybe Gail hadn’t been that close to Chloe. Otherwise, surely the detective would have known about Gail and her, and wouldn’t be casually issuing invitations to the Penny. And what about the whole fiasco with Frankie and Sam? Was Chloe completely out of the loop or was she too much of a Pollyanna to see how going to the Penny would be awkward for Holly.

‘Oh shoot, that would be a bit weird wouldn’t it because you and Gail used to,’ Chloe trailed off, her cheerful expression turning doleful as her lips quirked downwards almost in a childish pout.

‘Date,’ Holly supplied, ‘very briefly.’

‘She never got over you,’ Chloe was suddenly vehement, ‘it was obvious. That whole thing with Frankie was a giant mistake. Oh man, did you know about that?’ Chloe said apologetically, her brows creasing in remorse. However, before Holly could reply, she continued, ‘I’m sorry. I tend to talk a lot.’

Holly gave a tight smile, conscious the gesture did little to reassure, in fact quite the opposite, but really Chloe’s peppiness and constant prattle were starting to get on her nerves. She turned her attention back to the body on the slab, trying as best she could not to imagine Gail with a bullet hole in the back of her skull.

‘For what it’s worth, I don’t think Gail is any of those things people are saying about her. There has to be another explanation,’ Chloe said after a pause.

Holly was prevented from asking just who these people were and what exactly they were saying by the arrival of Traci.

‘I’ll take over here, Detective Price,’ Traci said, ‘can you head back to the station. This guy was there when Dani Asbar was shot. I want you and Epstein to pull in any of Asbar’s associates. See if they know anything.’

Chloe nodded. ‘Do you think one them is responsible?’

‘Its possible,’ Traci said, not sounding convinced. Holly, however, was quite certain Traci wanted Chloe out of the way so she could talk to Holly alone.

‘I don’t know why we’re bothering,’ Holly said once Chloe had left, ‘the Intelligence Service will no doubt appear any moment and take Kurt’s body away and the case off your hands.’

‘Until they do I’m treating this as I would any other investigation,’ Traci said evenly, ‘so what have you got?’

‘Shot close range. Just like Asbar. Same caliber bullet. We’re waiting to see if we can get a fingerprint match.’

Traci nodded. ‘You know this changes everything. Gail’s in even more danger than before.’

Holly chewed her lip. Should she tell Traci what she knew about Gail? It would mean taking a chance with Traci when Gail had warned her not to trust anyone. Besides was tracking down Gail the best way to keep her safe? What would she and Traci do if they found her? Hide her? How long would they have to do that before this terrorist cell Gail had been trying to infiltrate lost interest in her? 

At any rate, it would mean convincing Gail to quit and, knowing Gail, that was unlikely. Always complete an operation was one of the mantras Elaine Peck had drummed into Gail from an early age. Should Holly simply have faith in Gail to take care of herself? There was a huge problem with that Holly couldn’t ignore and it was the man lying on the slab before her. If he was dead, in all probability, it meant Gail was next.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Holly was finishing up the preliminary autopsy report when the fingerprint match came through. Kurt Taylor. It signified only one thing and Holly wasn’t sure she was ready to face it quite yet. She decided to take the report to Traci in person. The detective had stuck around for the remainder of the autopsy, but she hadn’t brought up Gail again. She and Holly had exchanged few words beyond discussing Holly’s findings. Still, Traci’s manner was impatient, and Holly was certain the detective was exasperated with her. 

Hitting print, Holly scooped up the pages and shoved them in a blue Manila folder. She tried not to think about the two other times she'd waltzed into 15 with a blue folder and ended up kissing Gail. It hadn't been her intention on either occasion. Not that she was complaining, but it seemed like each time she ended up in an interrogation room with Gail events seemed to take on a life of their own.

In fact, the first time her only thought was Gail’s safety. When Holly considered her actions now – the rushing to the station with the lame excuse about the courier, and her stuttered explanation to Gail about that ill-concieved blind date, and the band of fear which tightened around her chest when Gail said she was going back on the street even with a cop killing maniac on the loose - she should have recognized then how deep she was in already. 

Then Gail had kissed her with that same urgency she kissed Holly these days, like it may be for the last time. It was a kiss full of passion yet wonder and tenderness. Even in her dazed state, Holly could swear she heard Gail whisper 'oh my God,’ and she’d never worked out, or even asked Gail, if it was from relief at finally admitting and acting on the attraction to Holly, or if kissing Holly was some kind of revelation. The certainty with which Gail had kissed her - no hesitation, no straight girl nerves – made Holly wonder if those words were uttered in recognition. Like Gail had finally arrived at the place she was supposed to be and it was everything and oh so much more than she had hoped.

Once she showed her ID and explained her business to the officer on the desk at 15, Holly was buzzed in. As she approached the detective's pen, she saw Frankie coming towards her. The detective didn't make eye contact but she brushed past Holly roughly, jutting out her shoulder so it banged painfully into Holly's upper arm. Holly managed to hold back the gasp of pain, and before she could say anything, the detective had stomped out front. It was then Holly realized Traci was watching her with an impassive expression. She'd probably witnessed the whole thing with Frankie.

'I thought she'd been transferred,' Holly said, pushing her glasses back up her nose, and feeling a little frazzled by the encounter.

'Here to testify in a case,' Traci explained, her expression not changing,’ she hates it in Porcupine. It's making her meaner than usual.'

It was a small concession, but Holly decided it was the only acknowledgment she was going to get from Traci that Frankie's behavior was out of line. 

'So what brings you here Doctor?'

'The fingerprints were matched to Kurt Taylor.’

Traci was silent for a moment. There was something in her expression Holly couldn't quite pinpoint. It was knowing and something else. Vindicated perhaps. Holly found it unnerving.

'They've cut Kurt loose,' Holly said, finally articulating the thought which had been bubbling below the surface ever since the fingerprint results came in, 'the Intellgience Service. They're not coming to collect the body.'

'Yep,' Traci agreed, 'why else let us get a match on the fingerprints. I bet those fingerprint records weren't in the system before Kurt was killed. I think they've washed their hands of him and this operation.'

'Which means they've washed their hands of Gail too.' As she spoke, Holly knew the game was up. She'd pretty much just admitted to knowing Gail was working for this unit

...............

‘So Kurt Taylor's family won't ever know the truth - that he was working for the government,' Holly said. She and Traci were sitting in an out of the way cafe having lunch. Not that Holly had much appetite. Traci had been so careful to check they weren't being followed, almost to the point of paranoia that Holly was beginning to feel like they were the undercover agents.

'I doubt there will be any record of him having worked for the Intelligence Service. So yeah, they'll probably put it down to PTSD. A decorated war hero who’s gone off the rails. Got mixed up with gangbangers.'

'But what if your investigation leads you to the terrorist cell Kurt and Gail were trying to shut down.'

'And who might they be?' Traci arched an eyebrow.

'Um. I dunno. I'm just guessing,' Holly knew her explanation sounded feeble. She'd made it clear to Traci she accepted the premise Gail was part of this ghost unit but hadn't yet admitted to actually seeing her.

'Did she tell you that?' Traci asked sharply, 'that they had a group of people in their sights.'

'Uh. As I said it's just guesswork, but it stands to reason.' God, why was she such a bad liar? Traci regarded her steadily and then pursed her lips, her expression skeptical.

'You need to trust me, Holly. For Gail 's sake.'

'I do,' Holly said a little too hurriedly. She wished Gail were here so she could ask her what to do. Instinctively she did trust Traci but what if she were wrong. Holly had never put much store by intuition, and she was certainly terrible at reading people. God, until Gail had kissed her in that interrogation room, Holly was convinced she was straight.

‘Gail and Kurt flew back to Toronto from San Francisco three days ago under their own names. CCTV footage from the airport confirms it was them. Different flights, though. Weren’t you just in San Francisco, Dr Stewart?’

Holly fought not to turn red, but couldn’t help it. Oh yes she’d seen Gail all right. Mainly naked, and mainly crying out in pleasure or making Holly do the same, her lips far too occupied for talking, her hands finding their way across nearly every inch of Holly’s body.

‘I’m not involved in this Traci,’ Holly said firmly, pushing away the image of a naked Gail and regaining her composure, ‘I went to San Francisco to give evidence in a trial. You can verify that.’

‘Oh I did, Dr Stewart,’ Traci smiled but there was no warmth in the expression, ‘and I also contacted the hotel you stayed at. It seems like Kurt and Gail Coffey also checked in. Just for one night. Still, you have to admit it’s something of a coincidence, Doctor.’

‘That’s all it was. A coincidence.’ If the probing questions weren’t a giveaway, the way Traci kept calling her doctor, rather than by her first name, was enough to make Holly realize Traci had stopped asking for her help. No, this was an interrogation. She was aware too of the light band of perspiration that had broken out on her forehead, which she knew wouldn’t go unnoticed by the detective.

‘Yeah,’ Traci arched an eyebrow, ‘so you didn’t see Gail. Didn’t perhaps run into her in the lift?’ 

Holly started to shake her head, but Traci held up her phone to show a video, which had been paused. The still frame looked very much like the lobby of the hotel in San Francisco. Traci pressed play and there was Holly waiting for the lift and then standing back as the squabbling family tumbled out, and then finally she walked into the lift. It was at that moment Gail darted into the frame and in behind Holly and then the lift doors shut.

‘Security footage from the hotel lobby,’ Traci explained, ‘apparently very well concealed, otherwise I don’t think Gail would have taken such a risk.’

‘It was a coincidence,’ Holly insisted. 

‘But you saw her.’

‘Yes,’ Holly finally breathed, ‘briefly. We didn’t discuss why she was in San Francisco.’ She didn’t need to tell Traci about Gail coming to her room later that night, not unless the detective had dug up more security footage. She didn’t see any cameras in the corridor outside her room, but then again they may have been as well hidden as the one in the lobby.

‘So what did you talk about?’

‘We didn’t.’

‘Didn’t?’ Again Traci arched an eyebrow.

‘We didn’t talk. We kissed.’

‘Kissed? So you’re telling me you haven’t seen Gail for three years and you don’t say anything to each other, don’t even ask her what’s she doing in that lift or what she’s mixed up in, instead you just kiss.’

‘Yep. We have that effect on one another,’ Holly said, ‘and I don’t mean to sound flippant.’ 

She'd be embarrassed to admit the number of times she had given into the impulse to kiss Gail, touch Gail, fuck Gail rather than ask questions. At first, Holly suspected Gail might sometimes use this physical attraction to avoid having to reveal what she was involved in, that it was easier to plunge straight into sex than explain why she was so elusive. However, the fact was they simply couldn’t keep their hands off each other, not when they didn’t know when or if they’d ever see each other again.

‘And what about when you parted, before she came back down to the lobby, did you say anything then?’

‘Gail said she had to go. She seemed in a hurry.’

‘And yet she had time to step into the lift with you,’ Traci observed skeptically.

Holly nodded.

‘And the whole time on your way to the 4th floor, knowing the danger Gail might be in you didn’t think to ask her anything about it.’

Holly shook her head.

Traci sighed. ‘Thing is Holly,’ she said softly, almost gently now, ‘I think you know exactly what Gail is mixed up in and I don’t believe that was the first time you’ve seen her in three years.’ 

Holly was saved from answering by Traci’s phone ringing. Traci excused herself to take the call, returning a moment later.

‘I have to go. I know this is getting old Holly, but believe me when I say I want to help Gail.’

Holly was left to pick up the check, which she guessed she deserved. That said Traci had seemed in a hurry to leave. Clearly, whatever the reason for the call, it was urgent enough to pull Traci away. Which let Holly off the hook, for now at least. There was one thing she was certain about - Traci wasn’t done with her.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was nearing six pm when Holly looked up to see Traci standing in the doorway to her office.

'I owe you for lunch,' the detective said, pushing off from the doorjamb.

'Don't worry about it,' Holly waved her hand to indicate it didn't matter.

'I saw her,' Traci said, 'I saw Gail.'

‘What do you mean?’ Holly furrowed her brow. Was this some sort of trick? How could Traci have seen Gail?

‘We got a tip-off about a gun shipment. We didn’t expect it to be delivered until tomorrow but then our informant said it was happening this afternoon. That was what the phone call was about at lunchtime. We needed to act quickly. We raided the warehouse this afternoon.’

‘And Gail was there?’ Holly almost whispered like she dared not say the words aloud.

Traci nodded. Then she explained how she hadn’t seen Gail at first. There was a lot of noise and confusion, shouts of ‘Police, don’t move’ as the officers and detectives moved in, and panicked gang members ran in all directions, clearly taken by surprise. It had taken a while to subdue and cuff them. 

Gail must have concealed herself when the raid began and then during the chaos made her way to a side door. It hadn’t shown up on the building plans or during surveillance, so Traci hadn’t stationed any officers out there. She saw a flash of movement, so quick that in the mayhem it would have been easy to miss, and then a sliver of sunlight as the door was pushed open just wide enough for a person to slip through. Gail was wearing a hoodie, so Traci hadn’t realized it was her, but gave chase. 

The door opened onto a narrow passageway between the warehouse and the neighboring building. A couple of milk crates and a rusting drum were scattered about the passageway, and the ground was littered with cigarette butts. However, it led to a dead-end, hitting the brick wall of the factory directly behind the warehouse. Gail would have been trapped, except the building alongside the warehouse wasn’t as deep, creating a three-meter gap between its back wall and where the passageway ended. A high chain fence had been erected in the gap. 

It was only when the figure reached the chain fence and turned slightly that Traci saw it was Gail, cornered and wild-eyed. In that moment Traci felt like she couldn’t predict what Gail might do. She was just thankful she had a gun in her hand.

‘Stop, Gail,’ Traci had said, ‘you have to come with me.’

‘You need to let me go, Trac,’ Gail had said, her voice surprisingly steady and calm, ‘if you take me in you may as well shoot me now. Arresting me is a death warrant.’

Traci had lowered her gun. Then Gail leaped up onto the chain fence and, with surprising agility, climbed over it and into the parking lot out the back of the neighboring building. Dov had come out into the passageway then, asking if someone had got away and Traci had shrugged and told him she mistakenly thought she saw something.

‘You let her go,’ Holly breathed, not sure whether she should believe any of this story.

Traci nodded. ‘She looked a bit rough like she’d been sleeping in the same clothes for days. Her lip was swollen and split. I’d say from a punch.’

Holly bit her lip. ‘How bad?’

‘Not great,’ Traci said, ‘but I’m guessing if Gail was so adamant I didn’t take her in, then she must be afraid of someone at 15, scared enough that they might kill her. And that can only mean one thing. We’ve got a bent cop.’

Holly didn’t say anything. Instead, she concentrated on keeping her face impassive. It wasn’t something she was very good at, but she imagined how Gail might make her face blank and tried to channel that. How did she know if Traci was telling the truth, if this, in fact, was not an elaborate trap?

‘Is that why you won’t tell me about Gail. You’re worried I’m the bent cop?’

Again Holly didn’t respond.

‘I spoke to the gang leader. Gail was there to buy a gun. I’m guessing she doesn’t have access to her weapons right now. Maybe she’s worried those places are being watched. If Gail is buying a gun, then she’s afraid for her life.’

This time, Holly bit her lip so hard she drew blood. She couldn’t stop her eyes widening in alarm either, a fact that wasn’t overlooked by Traci.

‘When she contacts you, and,’ Traci held up her hand against an imagined objection from Holly, ‘and I know she will, tell Gail I’m here for her. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe and figure out who the traitor is.’

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was dark when Holly arrived back at her apartment. Once Traci delivered her message for Gail, she had left, and Holly had unsuccessfully tried to finish up some work. It was impossible, of course. Holly couldn’t suppress the thoughts of what might have happened to Gail. 

Had the same people who killed Kurt also hurt Gail? It was highly likely, Holly realized and even more likely Gail’s life was in terrible danger. Would she leave Toronto and go into hiding? Holly prayed so but knew there was a much greater chance Gail would stick around to expose the traitor at 15 and bring down the terrorist cell. Which made Gail sound like some sort of superhero, except the problem was she wasn’t one. Gail was a mere mortal. A lone woman against who knew what forces.

Deciding she was too exhausted to cook and needed more than cereal for her dinner, Holly went back down to the street to order a laksa from a Malaysian café a few doors down. As she placed her key in the door to the lobby, Holly felt the breath upon her neck. Soft and sweet, it carried not one trace of the panic or exertion of a few hours ago. Holly could almost hear the smile in Gail’s voice before she spoke. 

‘Hey,’ was all Gail managed to say before Holly was turning, dropping the laksa at their feet and flinging her arms around Gail to draw her into a close embrace. 

Holly pulled back after a moment and surveyed Gail. She was still wearing the hoodie so her face was partially obscured but Holly could see the swollen lip and some bruising below Gail’s left eye beginning to purple. She set her hand tenderly on Gail’s cheek and then leaned in to place the lightest of kisses on her lips, mindful the top one was painfully split. It registered then, that if Gail’s breath was sweet, her body odor definitely wasn’t. It was slightly acrid; no doubt a result of fear and adrenaline and physical exertion.

‘We need to get inside,’ Gail said. Her voice was soft but insistent.

‘Oh, yeah,’ Holly pushed her glasses up and turned back to the door where her key was still in the lock.

The lobby was mid-sized with a lift in the center and stairs to the left of it. No concierge. The building wasn’t grand enough for that. Holly had just pushed the button for the lift, when the door to one of the ground floor apartments opened and a woman appeared. She was tentative and bland to the point of being almost non-descript. Mousy brown hair and pleasant enough features, but there was something terribly insipid and a little obsequious about her.

‘Evelyn,’ Holly said, puzzled. She thought she’d made up the woman in her dream, or should it be more rightly called a nightmare, and here she was living in the same apartment building. Gail had tensed behind her, and Holly sensed she was ready to spring into action if the woman proved to be a threat.

‘Uh,’ Evelyn bowed her head a little and shook it. Clearly not her name but she didn’t seem in a hurry to introduce herself. ‘You’re Holly, right. From apartment 405.’ Evelyn, or whoever she was, didn’t wait for confirmation, but hurried on, now somewhat breathless. ‘Two men were just here asking for you. They’ve gone up to your floor. Thugs. They were very intimidating.’

As Evelyn finished speaking, the sound of heavy boots pounding down the stairs could be heard. Based on the level of noise in the stairwell, Holly guessed the men had reached the landing before the ground floor and would be in the lobby within seconds. Without a word, Gail soundlessly bundled she and Evelyn up and into Evelyn’s apartment, and quietly shut and locked the door. She put a finger to her lips and pulled a gun from the waistband of her jeans. 

The men were in the lobby now. Talking loudly. Inside the apartment, Evelyn had started to visibly shake and her eyes were as big as saucers. 

‘What, what the hell are you doing?’ she stuttered. 

Holly was grateful the woman was timorous because her protest was so subdued it was unlikely the men outside would have heard it. Still, Gail placed a hand over Evelyn’s mouth and whispered fiercely, ‘don’t say a word. Not unless you want to get us all killed.’ Evelyn nodded vigorously, her eyes now fixated on the gun in Gail’s other hand. 

‘Should we wait til the bitch comes back,’ they heard one of the men say.

‘Let’s check with the boss,’ the other one replied. There was silence as he presumably pulled out a phone and made a call. ‘Hey boss, neither of them are here. Not the Doc or Peck. What do you want us to do?’ Again there was silence and then the man said, ‘okay then. We’ll call when we’ve dealt with both of them.’

‘What’d the boss say?’ the other man asked.

‘She wants us to wait until they show up.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the guest on fanfic who suggested Evelyn make a real appearance. We’ll see a little more of her in the next chapter.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…..
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos and subscriptions and for reading. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

Gail still had her hand over Evelyn’s mouth when she felt her go limp. She managed to catch her before she fell. Tucking the gun back into the waistband of her jeans, she half carried half dragged Evelyn over to a couch.

Holly was concentrating so intently on the conversation between the two men in the lobby outside that she didn’t notice at first. It was only later, when Gail explained, that she pieced it together.

‘What happened?’ she said, unable to keep the alarm out of her voice even though she barely spoke above a whisper.

‘She fainted I think.’

‘Oh,’ Holly replied, and then a second ‘Ohh’. It was more drawn out as if she were suddenly struck by understanding. Holly couldn’t help but look relieved. ‘I, I thought. Oh it doesn’t matter,’ she broke off, realizing it might be better not to admit to Gail what actually crossed her mind.

‘You thought I shot her,’ Gail said incredulously, ‘you reckon you might have heard the gunshot.’

‘Well, maybe you have a silencer or something. Anyway, I didn’t really believe you shot her. I just got a fright seeing her all lifeless and for a moment in all this madness my thoughts jumped ahead and it’s stupid I know –‘ 

‘Holly, could you just stop talking and come take a look at Evelyn. Do your doctor thing.’ Gail waved one of her hands about. Clearly, the ridiculousness of the conversation was not lost on her, nor that it was made even more absurd by the fact it was conducted in fierce whispers. 

Holly might have found the exchange amusing too but for the fact there was no guarantee they were going to get out of this situation alive. Dramatic much, Holly thought to herself, as she pushed her glasses back up her nose, and hurried over to the couch. Before she bent down to examine Evelyn, Gail gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

‘A belated stop rambling kiss,’ she explained. 

It made Holly smile just a little bit. How did Gail do that, she wondered. There were two men on the other side of the door who clearly had been sent to kill them, and inside Evelyn or whatever she was called was out like a light, and still somehow Gail could calm her with a simple, cheesy gesture.

‘Help me move her so she’s on her back,’ Holly said after she checked Evelyn’s pulse. Once they’d repositioned Evelyn, Holly placed some cushions under her legs so they were elevated above her head. ‘It restores blood flow to the brain,’ she explained.

‘Yeah, Holly I know. I was a police officer. I’ve done basic first aid.’

‘Well, I guess you don’t need me then,’ Holly sassed, undoing Evelyn’s top two buttons so her throat wouldn’t be constricted, and checking to make sure her airwaves were clear.

‘I never said that,’ Gail sighed, ‘I’ll go get her some water. Shouldn’t she be coming round by now.’

‘Hopefully any moment.’

By the time, Gail returned from the kitchen, Evelyn’s eyes were fluttering open.

‘Holly,’ the woman croaked, ‘is this a dream.’

Holly started making Gail look at her curiously. ‘No. Sorry,’ she said.

It sure felt like a dream. Yep, it was definitely surreal finding herself tending to the woman who only a few weeks ago had appeared as her wife in a dream so vivid Holly had woken with a sinking feeling it was true. The woman who now turned out to be her downstairs’ neighbor; the woman who seemed to know exactly who Holly was and in which apartment she lived and who for some reason wasn’t exactly putting up much of a fuss about the fact that she and Gail were currently sheltering in her apartment from two men who clearly meant to harm them. The woman she would have to explain away to Gail, and boy would Gail have fun teasing her about the dream wife thing. Yep, Holly would give anything for this to be a dream. 

Evelyn, who was looking considerably paler than when she approached them in the lobby, tried to sit up.

‘Whoa, I wouldn’t move too quickly,’ Holly advised, gently placing a hand on her arm.

Evelyn stopped and bit her lip. ‘What’s going on, Holly?’ 

‘It’s complicated,’ Gail said, ‘Evelyn right?’

Evelyn shook her head slightly. ‘Carla,’ she corrected.

‘Oh, so why does Holly call you Evelyn?’

‘I don’t know. We’ve never met.’

At this, Gail looked completely puzzled.

‘I just thought that was her name,’ Holly said in a rush.

‘Yeah, so how does Evelyn- I mean Carla - know who you are?’ Gail took a step back and put a hand on her gun.

‘I’m on the body corporate for the building and so is Holly’s neighbor, Jim. I’ve seen Holly coming and going, and one day I was out in the lobby speaking to Jim when Holly came in and said hi. I asked who she was and he told me.’ 

‘Stalker,’ Gail mouthed to Holly, relaxing a little.

Holly made a wry face, thankful Gail remained angled away from the couch so Carla couldn’t see what she’d just done.

‘I’m sorry I fainted. I’m just scared of guns,’ Carla said suddenly.

‘Well, I’m sorry I had to wave it about, but it was for your protection,’ Gail said, turning back to Carla. There was something of the Officer Peck of old about her manner. Her voice was gentle but firm, and Gail herself exuded a sort of calm reassurance totally at odds with the woman who’d clamped a hand over Carla’s mouth only moments ago. 

Now, in truth Gail was much more caring than she ever admitted but, given the predicament they found themselves in, it seemed odd Gail would take the time to put Carla at ease, Holly thought. Then it dawned on her. It wouldn’t hurt to get Carla on side and Gail knew it.

‘We’re not bad people,’ Holly ventured.

‘I can see that,’ Carla said, ‘otherwise you wouldn’t have looked after me so well when I fainted.’

Holly smiled at Carla, trying her best to look friendly and unthreatening. Gail twisted her mouth slightly, no doubt amazed at the gullibility of the woman on the couch. But we are good people, Holly thought, and maybe Carla sensed that.

‘So where do you work, Carla?’ Gail asked, scrutinizing the woman’s face very carefully. Why would she care about Carla’s occupation, Holly wondered.

‘I’m a librarian.’

‘Yeah?’

‘At the Gerstein Science Information Centre at the University of Toronto.’

‘Well, you and Holly would probably have a lot to talk about then,’ Gail said drily and Holly made another face at her. However, she’d seen Gail give a little nod like she was satisfied with Carla’s response. It was this that made Holly realize what Gail was doing. She was making sure Carla was actually who she said she was and not some undercover plant. 

Holly guessed this would be her life now she’d hitched her wagon to Gail and the volatile world she inhabited. Always looking over her shoulder, never taking anything at face value, the paranoia and distrust. Did Holly want that? She really didn’t have any choice now she was a target too. 

Well, whom was she kidding? She didn’t have a choice because it was Gail. And she – the sensible, smart law-abiding forensic pathologist who, until this snarky blonde officer swept into her life, believed she had all her ducks neatly in a row –gave her heart away to Gail a long time ago. 

‘So I know Holly’s a forensic pathologist but who are you, and why do you have a gun?’ Carla said to Gail. 

There really was something quite guileless about the woman, a naivety that seemed too good to be true Holly thought, because it meant she was playing completely into their hands. Was she actually a plant? I mean who asks someone waving a gun about why they have one, Holly wondered.

‘I work for the government. Unfortunately, Holly’s mixed up in a case that’s attracted the attention of some very bad people, including those two goons out in the corridor. I need to get her out of here to keep her safe until this blows over.’

‘They’re still out there?’ Carla squeaked, sitting up properly now.

Gail nodded. She went over to the door and looked through the peephole for a moment.

The voices of the men began to recede slightly, and Holly guessed they’d moved to the doors at the front entrance.

‘Carla is there any way out of here besides the front door,’ Gail asked.

‘My bedroom. It leads to an enclosed courtyard but there’s a common area beyond that.’

‘Is there access to the street from the common area?’

Carla shook her head. ‘But the fence at the back isn’t too high, I think. You could probably climb over it.’ Holly couldn’t help but pick up on the hesitation in Carla’s voice, but Gail chose to ignore it.

‘So what’s over the fence?’ Gail asked.

‘A park with a playground,’ Holly piped up.

‘Okay. Carla, you’re about Holly’s size. Have you got a dark hoodie she could wear?’

Carla nodded. ‘In the bedroom. The walk-in robe.’

‘Mind if I take a look?’

Carla shook her head.

‘Hey, I’m sorry about this,’ Holly said softly once Gail had gone into the bedroom, ‘and I’m sorry we can’t really explain what’s going on.’

‘Yeah, it’s best if we don’t implicate you,’ Gail said coming back into the room carrying a dark blue hoodie, which she handed to Holly. ‘Look, Carla if anyone asks it would be best if you don’t tell them you’ve seen either me or Holly. Even the police. For your own safety, as well as ours.’

Carla looked at Holly. ‘Is that true?’

‘Yep,’ Holly sighed and sat down on the couch next to Carla, placing a hand lightly on her arm. She wasn’t surprised when Carla gave a slight shiver. Like she welcomed Holly’s touch. ‘And I promise once this is over I’ll come back and explain everything, but for now can you trust us? I know it’s a huge ask.’ Holly finished with one of her wide smiles, her eyes warm and her head tilted to one side, her gaze focused so exclusively on Carla it was like they were the only ones in the room. 

Holly felt bad doing it, but she was fairly certain Carla had a huge crush on her, and she decided a little bit of charm might be the best way to get the woman to play along. It surprised her how easy it was to be duplicitous, especially when normally she was anything but. Nothing like a life or death situation to bring out your dormant acting skills, Holly supposed, or it seemed a devious side. 

Fortunately, Carla seemed convinced and nodded. If Gail wasn’t actually rolling her eyes, she was probably doing it mentally, Holly thought but didn’t dare chance a look in Gail’s direction in case it made her falter.

‘And Carla,’ Gail said softly, breaking the little bubble Holly had created so Carla turned to look at her, ‘people might tell you I’m a criminal or I’ve abducted Holly but don’t believe them. Just stick to the story that you didn’t see us, and you only know Holly by sight. She’s just someone who lives in an apartment upstairs.’

‘Okay,’ Carla said. She still looked shaken. Her eyes were wide and a little frightened. Understandable, Holly thought, guessing she was overwhelmed by the enormity of what was happening and indeed of what she’d just agreed to do.

‘Oh and Carla,’ Gail said, indicating the plastic bag with the laksa that somehow hadn’t spilled when Holly dropped it outside, ‘Holly got you dinner. I hope you like laksa.’

Out in the courtyard, Gail opened the gate leading onto the common area. One side of the area was paved with picnic tables, barbecues, and a gazebo, and the other had been turned over to neat vegetable patches, which were tended to by any interested apartment residents. This self-sustaining nod was was one of the things that had attracted Holly to the apartment. 

At the end of the space, right next to the fence, was a grassy area with several shade trees. Solar lights stuck in the ground illuminated the entire space, making it hard, if anyone was watching, to get to the back fence undetected. At least it was dark now, so that might make them a little less obvious, Holly reasoned.

Gail didn’t immediately step out into the common area. She used her hand to indicate Holly should stay behind her and then scanned the area, clearly weighing up the best route to the back fence. 

‘Let’s stick to the hedge,’ she whispered to Holly, ‘stay close.’

As Gail plunged out of the courtyard and into the common area, Holly felt her heart begin to beat wildly. It seemed so loud she was surprised Gail couldn’t hear it. She had a sudden and very graphic vision of being picked off by a sharpshooter positioned on one of the apartment balconies above, or being crash-tackled to the ground by the two thugs from the foyer. She found she couldn’t move. Her brain told her to follow Gail, but her body refused to obey and she remained rooted to the spot.

‘Come on nerd,’ Gail hissed but Holly didn’t budge. Gail came back into the courtyard to stand in front of Holly. She gently cupped her cheeks and leaned in and kissed her, soft and unhurried. Then she pulled back, leaving her hands on Holly’s cheeks, ‘I won’t let anything happen to you Holly, I promise.’

It was a wild promise. A ridiculous promise. One Gail couldn’t possibly know she’d be able to keep. One she shouldn’t even be making. But it was enough. Holly nodded and Gail kissed her again.

‘That’s to remind you whose girlfriend you actually are,’ she said with a small smile.

Girlfriend? Had Gail just described her as her girlfriend? Before Holly had time to process this, Gail was taking her hand and pulling her out into the common area. The adrenalin kicked in then, propelling her along with Gail, without a single glance backward to see if they were being watched.

Holly was thankful she was a runner because Gail moved with considerable speed. The fence was quite high and Holly wasn’t sure how they would make it over, but Gail put her hands together to form a step and give Holly a boost up. Out of the blue, Holly remembered the Germans had a special word for this. Räuberleiter. Looters’ ladder.

‘But how will you?’ Holly started to say, but Gail was already hoisting her up and she was scrambling to clutch the top of the fence, and then gingerly lowering herself over. She was thankful the fence was wooden and not aluminum; otherwise, she would have made a terrible racket clambering over it. 

Seconds later, Gail appeared over the fence, dropping to the ground smoothly and without a sound, except for a small thud as her feet hit the spongy grass. 

‘What?’ Gail whispered. 

Holly realized her mouth was agape. She shook her head to indicate nothing.

‘Impressed I could scale a fence, nerd.’

Holly nodded. This wasn’t the Gail she’d first met, who grumbled about exercise and teased Holly for working out.

It was then they became aware they were being watched. Two sets of eyes peering out of the darkness. The playground wasn’t lit, except by the yellow glow coming from the streetlights where it bordered the road. Gail started to reach for her gun, but Holly put a hand on her arm to still her.

‘It’s just raccoons,’ she chuckled.

Gail relaxed and let out a breath. ‘We need to get out of here, Holly.’

‘Where can we go?’

‘Just somewhere out of sight until we can come up with a plan.’

‘I have the keys to Lisa’s place,’ Holly said, ‘she’s in the Bahamas for a week.’

‘That might be okay,’ Gail considered for a moment, ‘just for a night. It’s unlikely they’ll start tracking down your friends straightaway.’

‘Tracking down my,’ Holly felt the panic rising up again, ‘are Lisa and Rachel in danger?’

‘No, but once they figure out you’re with me, they’ll probably try looking for us at your friends’ places first, but they won’t hurt them. It would draw too much attention.’

‘Okay.’ Holly nodded even though she was not in the least reassured but there was no going back now. Too late to protect Rachel and Lisa from being heavied, unless she gave herself up and what choice was that. ‘But who exactly are “they”?’

‘Can we talk about it when we get to Lisa’s? I wasn’t lying to Carla when I said it was complicated and I’m still figuring out who’s after me,’ Gail stopped and made a rueful face, ‘well I guess us now.’

Holly took Gail’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She had the distinct impression Gail was about to start berating herself for literally bringing danger to Holly’s doorstep. There was nothing to be gained from having that conversation right now, especially out here in the open.

‘We’re going to have to walk,’ Gail said, ‘that way we’re less likely to be seen or traced. And keep your hoody on.’

‘Should I call Rachel and warn her?’

‘Best not. If she were questioned, it would be better for her if her reactions were genuine. In fact, very soon we are going to ditch your phone.’

Holly nodded. Gail didn’t have to explain why. Her phone was like wearing a tracking device. The police could ping it without any trouble, as could anyone with the right software.

It was about a half-hour walk to Lisa’s place, although it took longer because Gail insisted on sticking to the back streets, the darker the better. All those years Gail was forced by her parents to memorize the Toronto street directory were finally paying off, Holly thought. 

Not long after she and Gail became friends, she’d noticed and remarked on Gail’s ability to be a human GPS. When Gail explained why she knew not only how to get to any place in Toronto but the fastest route, Holly’s heart broke a little. It was such a crappy thing to make a kid do.

‘So,’ Gail said after they’d walked a little way in silence, ‘what’s the deal with you and the nerdbian back there.’ 

‘Evelyn –I mean Carla,’ Holly said, coloring a little. It wasn’t at the thought of the woman. She wasn’t in the least attracted to her. No, Holly felt embarrassed by how she’d strung Carla along.

‘Yep, the nerdbian,’ Gail said. She was trying for casual, but Holly could detect a note of something else. Was it jealousy?

‘I did that to get us out of a sticky situation. It’s not something I do. You know that. I never you know,’ Holly could feel herself getting flustered.

‘Lead people on. Outrageously flirt to get your way,’ Gail said, sounding amused now rather than jealous.

‘Yeah. I don’t do that.’

‘So,’ Gail drew out the word, ‘what about three years ago?’

‘Three years ago,’ Holly screwed up her face, not sure what Gail was referring to, ‘you know the exact date.’

‘No, but I could probably work it out,’ Gail said nonchalantly, ‘don’t you remember? The blind date you brought to the Penny. The one you were all over like a rash.’

‘I was not,’ Holly protested.

‘Yeah, who hugs a blind date the second they meet them, Holly? Then there was all that leaning in and touching her arm, and the head tilting and smiling and laughing. She was smitten.’

‘I wasn’t interested in her. I was doing it to make you jealous,’ Holly exclaimed and then stopped. Shit, Gail had just played her and so easily too.

‘Exactly,’ Gail said triumphantly, ‘I was right. You were using your feminine wiles to get what you wanted.’

Holly didn’t answer. She grabbed Gail by the shoulders. They had been walking alongside a brick wall and now Holly pushed Gail back against it. Then she kissed her so fiercely it took both of them by surprise. Holly felt like she was pouring all the last few months, no years into the kiss. The longing, the worry, the realization Gail was it for her, and finally, the fear fuelled adrenalin of the last hour. At first, Gail returned the kiss, moving her hands to link around Holly’s neck but then she suddenly stifled a yelp.

‘What?’ Holly said, jumping back.

‘My lip,’ Gail said, touching it where it was split.

‘Oh honey, I forgot,’ Holly said, apologetic and concerned.

‘It’s okay, Gail shrugged, ‘anyway we probably shouldn’t be kissing in back alleys,’ she said looking around, but they were the only ones on the narrow little street.

‘You don’t think we’re being followed?’

‘No. I would have noticed,’ Gail said matter-of-factly, ‘I’m fairly certain we’re safe now.’

There it was. That complete confidence. Gail had been watchful this whole time, stealthily, covertly keeping an eye out, certain she’d be able to spot someone tailing them. And Holly had been completely unaware. Had Gail learned this ninja stuff since joining this ghost unit? Did the self-assurance come from being so highly trained? Whatever, it actually made Holly feel safe.

‘You should always question me, Holly,’ Gail said, her voice quiet and serious, ‘you should never assume what I want to do is the right thing to keep us safe.’ 

Holly knew she hadn’t expressed that thought about being safe out loud, but once again it was as if Gail read her mind, or at the very least anticipated what she was thinking. They were silent again as they continued down the alleyway, then Gail suddenly spoke, her voice lighter, almost excited like she’d hit on a good plan.

‘When this is over we need to set Carla up with someone nice,’ Gail said, ‘seeing as you’re already spoken for.’

‘So I am your girlfriend,’ Holly said, thinking it sweet of Gail to want to make amends to Carla. She noted too that Gail had said when this was over, and that gave her hope. It wasn’t an ‘if’ but a ‘when’, and that was something she needed to hold on to.

‘Well, yeah,’ Gail said, as if the question or the need to ask it was ridiculous. ‘I asked you to wait for me and you agreed. I kind of think it was implied. I mean we’re not in high school. I didn’t think I needed to give you a class ring or my letter jacket. Not that you’d ever condescend to wear my clothing.’

Holly gave a low chuckle. ‘Not at the moment, anyway. You kinda reek.’

‘Yeah, yeah I know. Hazard of the job. I’ve been wearing these clothes for three days. I’ll shower when we get to Lisa’s. So why did you think Carla was called Evelyn?’

Okay, so Gail wasn’t going to let it go. Holly should have anticipated that. 

‘Is this your interrogation technique, Peck. Drop the subject, soften me up with sweet talk and then bring it up again?’ Holly deflected.

‘Not working?’ Gail kidded, pretending to be perplexed.

So then Holly explained about the dream, which predictably Gail thought hilarious.

‘Oh my god, that was your subconscious talking. Should I be worried? At some deep, dark subterranean level are you attracted to Carla? I didn’t think mousey librarian types were your kinda thing.’

‘Oh god, not in the least! It was a nightmare. It was my punishment for not waiting for you.’

‘You gave up after ten years,’ Gail said,’ in the dream.’

‘Well, technically it was probably seven because Evelyn and I had a toddler. So factoring in his age, and a reasonable amount of time to date before we committed and decided to have a baby, yeah it was probably seven.’

‘Alright, alright. Enough nerd,’ Gail said, holding her hands over her ears, ‘you make it sound scarily real.’

‘You didn’t have to dream it,’ Holly said, ‘that was way worse.’

‘It was worse?’ Gail’s expression and tone were gleeful. In fact, she had that adorable, impish face on that just made Holly want to laugh and kiss her. ‘Would you ever want to get married?’ The last bit was said casually like the question held no more importance than if Gail were asking which kind of takeout she’d prefer.

It was on the tip of Holly’s tongue to teasingly ask Gail if she were proposing, but then she thought better of it. Somehow it felt like this might be too delicate a subject to talk about, and too hard given their immediate goal was just to survive the night. Despite all the banter, which Holly was convinced Gail was using to distract her from the gravity of their situation, the fact was they had absolutely no clue how this was going to end. So instead Holly said, ‘what about you? Do you want to get married?’ the words spoken flippantly, blithely as if she were gossiping with a friend, rather than speaking to the love of her life.

‘You asking, Stewart?’ Gail retorted. It seemed she for one had no qualms about being indelicate. ‘But yeah. Maybe not marriage, but I’d like to settle down with you, you know, lead an ordinary life. It’s not too much to ask, is it?’ Her voice, which had turned serious, became quite small at the end as if she dared not even enunciate the wish to make a life with Holly.

‘No Gail, it’s not too much to ask,’ Holly reassured, taking Gail’s hand and giving it a squeeze, ‘but you know, even without bad guys chasing us, you and me – it’s never going to be ordinary.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

True to her word, Gail showered once they arrived at Lisa’s. Holly went to see what she could find to eat in the refrigerator.

‘Lisa’s not really a cook,’ she made an apologetic face, ‘but I’ll see what I can rustle up.’

It all felt very domestic Holly thought, even if she could only find a frozen pizza to heat up and a six-pack of Italian beer. Well, that is until she heard Gail say ‘Take off your clothes, Holly.’ Then it didn't seem domestic at all. Gail's voice was low and sultry, almost growly so it was more order than request. Holly whipped her head around, partly in confusion, but also because she had to admit she was a little turned on.

There stood Gail looking a lot like an urchin in Lisa’s gray sweat pants, which were too short, stopping just above her ankles, and a faded blue t-shirt. She had a huge, cocky grin on her face. ‘Ha, you thought I was serious, nerd,’ she crowed.

‘I was a little taken aback,’ Holly said primly.

‘I was going to wash my clothes. They being smelly and all, and I thought you’d like me to wash yours as well. We can buy more clothes, but I’m not sure when we’ll have a chance.’

Holly went to shower then, but not before standing inches from Gail in the kitchen and very slowly and very deliberately stripping off every article of clothing she was wearing. To say it was a striptease maybe going a bit far, Holly thought, as she dangled the final piece of clothing – her bra – before Gail and dropped it at her feet. But, judging by the look in Gail’s eyes, maybe not. Gail, who had remained completely still throughout, surged forward but Holly smirked and put up a hand to stop her.

‘The pizza needs to come out of the oven in ten. I’m going to shower and then I want to know who we’re running from.’

‘Oh, you are no fun,’ Gail pouted but Holly ignored her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

‘So the guys at my apartment they’re not from the terrorist cell?’ Holly asked.

They’d moved to the living room with the pizza and beer. Lisa would kill them if she knew. She was quite fastidious about no food on the couch. ‘That’s what tables are for,’ she’d chide if ever Holly suggested they sit on the couch to eat. This little act of rebellion made Holly quite pleased.

‘No,’ Gail said, ‘they’re into all this survivalist shit and live off the grid. Most of them have long hair and beards. When I looked through the peephole, those guys were clean-shaven. Carla was right. They looked like two-bit thugs.’

‘So who sent them? They called their boss she.’

‘Yeah, which doesn’t fit with the survivalist dudes. My guess is it’s our bent cop. When Kurt and I started doing deals with Dani Asbar he hinted he could get anything through because he was paying off someone on the force. At first, we thought it was just talk, but then things started to sour with Dani. When he went after me with the knife, his paranoia had gone off the charts. Clearly, someone had told him I wasn’t a cop gone bad.’

‘The bent cop?’

‘I think so. At that stage the survivalists trusted us. I mean they shot Asbar when he attacked me. But then after that, I don’t know. It seems both they and this bent cop might have been doing some sniffing around and joined the dots. In fact, it seems they are now working with that cop. Just before he shot him, Dorian, one of the leaders of the group, told Kurt they had new friends on the force who were helping them cut out the middle man.’

‘You were there when Kurt was killed?’

‘Yeah,’ Gail bit her lip and looked away, ‘they summoned us to a warehouse they use downtown. The request came out of the blue. They’d just taken delivery of some weapons we organized for them and there was no reason to meet. As a precaution, Kurt went ahead alone, and I snuck into the warehouse after. I didn’t see him get shot but I heard it. I was hiding behind some packing crates.’

‘Oh, honey,’ Holly said reaching out to Gail but Gail shook her head She shifted so she was sitting on the edge of the couch, staring straight ahead and not at Holly. 

Holly didn’t take it personally. She understood Gail’s need to withdraw. If Holly touched her, comforted her, Gail was afraid she’d break down. In order to survive the last few days, and in fact those ahead, she’d had to bottle this up, tamp down any thought of it. Holly was aware too that in law enforcement, losing a partner hit hard, but this was not the time to mourn Kurt, and, for Gail, the holding it together, the postponement of grief made his death harder still.

‘He was a good guy,’ Gail said, ‘smart too. You actually would have liked him.’

Holly wasn’t too sure about that. She remembered the jealousy, bordering on hatred, which consumed her at the Dunant cocktail party when she saw the too handsome, the too suave man take Gail by the elbow and steer her through the crowd of guests.

‘I know. I know he was conceited and ridiculously smooth,’ Gail said, once again seeming to reach into Holly’s thoughts, ‘but you would have loved his sense of humor.’ She shook her head as if to clear it, and Holly noticed a tear and then another leak out of the corner of her eye. Holly leaned over then and gently wiped the tears away with her thumb, her other hand on Gail’s knee. 

Gail swallowed and continued. Still not looking at Holly but not rejecting her touch either. ‘I ran when then shot him and I wasn’t thinking straight and I wasn’t careful. That’s how I got this,’ Gail pointed to the split lip, ‘I ran into one of the survivalist guys on the way out of the warehouse and he tried to stop me.’

‘Oh, honey,’ Holly breathed, trying to push away the thought of how close Gail had come to joining Kurt.

‘You should see the other guy,’ Gail joked feebly, ‘actually, I did knock him out so that gave me a head start. I couldn’t go back to our safe house because I was worried it was being watched. So I’ve been sleeping rough the last few days. I’m sorry, I had no one else to go to but you and now I’ve got you mixed up in this.’

‘It seems like they were coming after me anyway. You turning up when you did, Gail you saved my life.’

Gail gave a little snort of disbelief, but she turned now to face Holly.

‘The survivalist guys didn’t know about you. They had no reason to come after you, which is why I think it’s the bent cop.’

‘But you think there are working together now?’

Gail nodded her head. ‘It seems this cop is now directly supplying the survivalists. Kurt and I were a threat that needed to be eliminated.’

‘But why would the bent cop assume you weren’t also corrupt.’

‘Because Holly I think someone in the Intelligence Service told them,’ Gail said heavily, ‘I think someone in the organization is working against us.’

‘So we’re running from three sets of people?’ Holly asked, trying to keep her voice level.

‘I think the traitor in the Intelligence Service sympathizes with the survivalists, may even be one of them. When Kurt and I got too close we were suddenly cut loose. It happened as soon as we got back from San Francisco. No one in the Service was taking our calls. Our handler didn’t turn up for a scheduled meet and the bank accounts they set up for us were frozen.’

‘Right at the time you felt you were making a breakthrough,’ Holly said.

‘Yeah, suspicious much,’ Gail gave a harsh laugh, ‘it felt like the survivalists were starting to trust us. They were hinting they were going to do something big, which would make the government sit up and take notice. We thought it was only a matter of time before they’d tell us where and when the attack was going to happen. Then the plug got pulled and all of a sudden they knew we were undercover agents and they’d made an alliance with this bent cop.’

‘So,’ Holly furrowed her brow as she tried to join the dots, ‘the traitor told both the bent cop and this survivalist group who you really were.’

‘That’s what I’m thinking.’

‘But why wait until now. Why not stop you at the very start.’

‘It was an extremely covert mission. Only our handler and one other person in the Intelligence Service knew about it or even knew Kurt and I were agents. That way if it went pear-shaped, the Intelligence Service could jettison us without it coming back on the government.’

‘So if we find the bent cop, we’ll find out who the traitor is.’

‘Yep’

‘But you’ve still got these crazy survivalists to deal with.’

‘Yep, I said it was complicated,’ Gail grimaced.

‘They said she. The thugs said she. That narrows it down.’

‘Yeah. There are over five thousand officers on the force in Toronto and about a quarter of them are female. So that narrows it down to at least a thousand possibilities,’ Gail snarked. Her mood had shifted since talking about Kurt. Beneath the biting retort, Holly sensed a heavy melancholy, a despondency that Gail was fighting hard not to succumb to right now. 

‘Traci, ’ Holly sighed, feeling grubby and disloyal as she said the name.

‘No way,’ Gail said.

‘She’s been doing a lot of digging about you and Kurt and pushing me to tell her stuff. She said it was because she was worried, but her fiancé works for the CCIS. Traci’s head of guns and gangs - it would be so easy for her to set up some sort of protection racket. It fits.’

‘I know she’s been digging and so has her boyfriend. I have a feeling that’s how the traitor in the CCIS found out.’

‘But you told me not to trust anyone, even Traci.’

‘I didn’t want her involved not after the Pecks have already put her through so much. Not when it might endanger her and Leo. Fuck!’ Gail jumped up so suddenly it sent her beer bottle flying. She grabbed the ends of her hair, tugging on them. ‘And the last thing I wanted to do was endanger you, Holly, and here we are. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’

For a moment Holly watched the beer as it foamed out of the bottle, spreading an amber stain across Lisa’s fluffy white rug. She probably should get up and clean it, but the thought was sort of distant, like it was occurring to someone else, so she didn’t act on it. The fact Lisa would be unhappy also crossed her mind.

‘We’re here,’ Holly took a deep calming breath, ‘we’re smart and we can figure a way out.‘

‘Can we,’ Gail turned to her, wild-eyed.

‘Yes,’ Holly said firmly, ‘either that or disappear. But Gail Peck I’ve waited too long to be with you to give up now, so yes we are going to figure this out.’

‘Okay,’ Gail said, biting her lip again, her voice quiet now. ‘I’m sorry I involved you in this. I should have stayed away. I should have just let you think I was an asshole. That was my plan.’

‘No more saying sorry. Remember,’ Holly said gently, taking Gail’s hand to press it softly. ‘I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to be with you. You warned me of the dangers.’ Holly tilted her head to one side and smiled, ‘and for the record there is no one else I’d rather be on the run with than you.’

‘Nerd,’ Gail said.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

In the event, they did clean up the spilled beer. Probably best if Lisa didn’t realize they’d been there, Gail pointed out. Holly said it was unlikely, even though they’d drunk her beer and eaten her pizza. Lisa was very vague about anything domestic, particularly the contents of her fridge. Just so long as everything looked spic and span, like an apartment from the pages of a home and garden magazine.

They got ready for bed then, and Gail face-planted onto the pillows, arms and legs splayed out. It was as if she had finally allowed the exhaustion, the sheer and terrifying stress of the past three days to overtake her. Well, that was until Holly joined her on the bed. 

‘Any room for me, slugger,’ Holly said, coming to sit beside Gail.

Gail turned her head a little to regard Holly, slowly opening her eyes and arching a perfectly sculptured eyebrow. ‘Slugger?’

‘Well, you knocked out that guy in the warehouse.’

‘Nerd,’ Gail shook her head pityingly.

Then Holly ran her hand down Gail’s back. It was meant to be a soothing gesture, but it made her recall the Dunant cocktail party when she saw Gail in that backless dress and how there, among all those hundreds of guests, she was immediately assailed by images of trailing kisses down Gail’s spine. 

So Holly pushed Gail’s t-shirt up and did just that, starting from the top and moving downwards. Slowly, worshipfully kissing every inch of skin, from the thoracic to the lumbar vertebrae until she reached the sacrum. Holly felt Gail relax as she continued her journey, and then sigh contentedly. It was only when Holly had placed a final kiss that Gail turned beneath her so she was facing Holly, one of her thousand watt smiles plastered across her face.

‘You Holly Stewart,’ Gail leaned forward and took Holly’s bottom lip between her own and tugged on it before letting it go, ‘you are perfect.’

Then there was no holding back. It was, Holly realized, a release of all the tension and the fear, the dread weight of the last few hours. And it was, in a way, a celebration of finding themselves here, together, when neither might have made it through the day. So there was an insatiableness to it, a recklessness. It occurred to Holly, as Gail, sitting astride her, riding Holly’s fingers and using her own hand to rub circles on her clit, arrived at her third orgasm, that it was how people might have sex if they thought the world would end tomorrow.

They lay together not speaking for a while, just holding each other tightly. Only you, Gail had told Holly once, only you have ever been allowed to hold me so close after sex.

Holly kissed Gail’s lips. Softly. Undemanding.

‘You just want me for the sex,’ Gail said playfully. 

‘Is that so,’ Holly raised an eyebrow, recognizing Gail’s desire to break the somber mood that had settled over them.

‘Yeah, it’s kind of degrading don’t you think, nerd. To use me just for my body.’

‘Really, Gail,’ Holly said, but her expression was one of amusement, and her mouth had quirked up slightly on one side, threatening to turn into her trademark smile.

‘Nah,’ Gail shook her head and grinned, ‘sex with you it’s,’ Gail’s forehead crinkled as she sought to express what she was feeling, ‘I can’t even find the words to describe it, but it’s home and more. It’s like the safest place and the most exciting. Reckless and calm. It’s this world and then something belonging to another stratosphere altogether.’

Holly kissed Gail, smiling. It's love she wanted to say but Gail was already asleep, her breathing steadying and her body gradually becoming heavier in Holly’s arms. Soon after, Holly herself drifted off.

It may have been these activities, or because Holly was there. Or perhaps it was the fact Gail had slept so little over the previous few days, and when she did only dozed lightly, always on the alert. Possibly it was all these things that contributed to Gail having the deepest sleep she had had in months. It was probably why, Holly would think only a matter of hours later, Gail didn’t hear, didn’t sense, the intruders creep into the room until the gun was at her temple. It was Holly who woke first, her eyes flying open in alarm, and she wondered if this was indeed their last day on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when the next update will be. It’s been a bit tough going lately and hard to find the time and energy to write (and a chapter takes several days or more), but who knows when the muse will strike.


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters.....
> 
> Thanks as always for the comments, kudos, subscriptions and for reading. I love to hear what you think of this fic, so let me know. I got this updated a little sooner than I anticipated, plus it's the longest chapter in this fic so far.
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> .............................................................................................

It was over so quickly Holly wouldn’t trust herself to explain exactly what happened. Wasn’t even certain what she witnessed. Even as Holly registered the gun pressed against Gail’s temple, Gail was up, grabbing the intruder’s arm and spinning them around to bend it behind their back. The person shrieked, the high-pitched sound making Holly realize it was a woman. The force of Gail’s hold made the woman drop the gun so it skittered under the bed. Holly sprang up to retrieve it but stopped dead when she saw whom it was Gail had immobilized.

‘What the fuck Peck, what the fuck?’ the intruder was screeching, ‘I think you’ve dislocated my arm.’

‘Lisa?’ Holly said in disbelief, and then again ‘Lisa.’ Was this just another dream? It was a hopeful rather than a genuine question, wishful thinking in fact because really this would be so much better if it were imagined. How many times had that thought crossed her mind in the last twenty-four hours? Holly really didn’t want to count.

The whole thing might have been comical had Lisa not been in so much pain. There was Gail, naked as the day she was born, with a knee in Lisa’s back, and Lisa crumpled in a heap, offering no resistance except for the god awful shrieking. 

Gail stepped back just as Rachel rushed to the bedroom door. Later Rachel explained she’d gone to make coffee in the kitchen. Now though, as she surveyed the scene before her, Rachel’s expression was caught between puzzlement and alarm.

Holly scrambled to find the sweat pants and t-shirt she discarded the night before, and pulling them on, went to Lisa’s aid. By then Rachel was also at her side. As Holly bent over the plastic surgeon, she was conscious she smelt of sex and Gail but now was not the time for niceties.

Gail retrieved the gun and held it up wonderingly. ‘It’s fake,’ she said in disbelief.

‘Yeah,’ Lisa hissed, her forehead contorted in pain, ‘it was a joke Peck. I wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine.’

‘You wanted to-‘ Gail started, her fury gathering force with each word, but Holly looked up from examining Lisa and shook her head. 

Gail could have killed Lisa, maybe even came close to doing it and all because of some thoughtless prank. Holly could understand why Gail was angry. How could Lisa be so stupid as to deliberately sneak up like that? Lisa knew people were after Gail. She’d seen how strung out Gail was that time in Holly’s apartment after she was stabbed and when her level of paranoia was so high she'd held Lisa at gunpoint. 

Then again, while on that occasion Lisa had helped Gail elude the police, she’d never really taken Gail’s need to stay under the radar too seriously. Instead, she saw it as a chance to play junior spy - the trench coat and dark sunglasses being a case in point. 

Only a week ago, when they were out having a drink, Lisa commented to Holly, ‘All that cloak and dagger stuff Gail is doing, it was entertaining for a while but isn’t it getting a bit old.’ Holly couldn’t immediately respond, as she was too busy stopping herself from doing a spit-take. In hindsight, the effort it took not to cover Lisa in a spray of beer may have provided a much-needed distraction. Otherwise, Holly surely would have clouted Lisa over the head. Actually, at this very moment clouting Lisa over the head was once again presenting as an attractive option.

‘I may never be able to practice as a surgeon again,’ Lisa was now wailing, which Holly knew was wildly overstating the case. ‘I’m in my prime. Top of my game.I've worked my butt off to be one of the leading plastic surgeons in Canada. That's all gone. Ripped away from me just like my arm. I bet there's nerve damage and the blood vessels could be compromised. All thanks to your maniac girlfriend.’

Holly took a deep breath. A dislocated shoulder would make surgeries uncomfortable for a few weeks, and Lisa would be more susceptible to these types of injuries in the future, but it was hardly the end of her career, illustrious or otherwise. Holly was sure she heard Gail muttering that striking Lisa from the international boob job rescue league must rank high among crimes against humanity. Yet, when she looked up from examining Lisa, Gail’s lips weren’t moving.

‘Ah, you might want to put some clothes on, honey,’ Holly said quickly. Gail glanced down as if surprised to find herself naked. Clearly, she had, in the moment, forgotten.

‘Oh, yeah,’ she mumbled and Holly heard her rummaging through the bed sheets to find her, well actually Lisa’s clothes.

‘It is dislocated,’ Holly confirmed as she completed her examination of Lisa, ‘do you want me to pop it back in or-‘

‘What do you think, Holly. Pop it back. I’m not going to go sit in Emergency,’ Lisa said irritably.

‘You know Lisa I haven’t done one of these in years.’

‘Yeah, yeah Miss top marks in Ortho and everything else. Just do it.’

‘I’ll try the Scapular Manipulation method - ‘

‘I don’t care what freaking method you use, just do it, Holly,’ Lisa said through gritted teeth. 

It occurred to Holly, just fleetingly and quite wickedly, that it actually might have been better if Gail had killed Lisa, but like a good friend she pushed that thought down and focused on righting Lisa’s shoulder. Narrowing her eyes in concentration, she forcefully rotated the shoulder, trying to get it back into the socket.

‘Jesus, fuck,’ Lisa cried out the moment Holly started the rotation, ‘are you trying to rip my fucking arm off.’ She was red faced and panting heavily. 

‘Holly,’ Gail said tentatively, ‘maybe she should go to Emergency.’

‘What about trying the Upright technique,’ Rachel suggested, ‘I could assist.’

‘Yeah, just do it already,’ Lisa said, ‘instead of standing around discussing it.’

‘Okay, we’ll get you to sit on one of the hard-backed chairs in the kitchen,’ Holly directed.

‘Yeah, alright,’ Lisa agreed as if granting Holly an enormous favor. 

In the kitchen, Holly positioned herself behind Lisa, while Rachel stood in front.

‘How’s this going to work?’ Gail asked quietly. She was looking worried, chewing hard on her bottom lip. No matter the level of animosity Gail felt towards Lisa, she would never actually want her to suffer, Holly thought. Not excessively, at least.

‘Okay, well,’ Holly said, gently pressing her fingers against Lisa’s shoulder, ‘I’m locating the scapula.’

‘The scapula?’ Gail quirked an eyebrow.

‘Shoulder blade,’ Lisa hissed.

Gail nodded and made an ‘ahh’ noise as if all was clear now.

‘Now I’m using my thumbs to simultaneously push the tip of the scapula medially and the acromion, which is a bony part at the end of the scapula, inferiorly,’ Holly continued.

‘She’s rotating my shoulder blade,’ Lisa explained with a long-suffering sigh as if it always fell to her to translate Holly’s medical jargon.

‘I can see that,’ Gail said.

‘This is why Holly did so well at med school. It’s like she swallowed every single textbook and now can recite them at will,’ Lisa said scathingly.

Gail grinned at Holly like she was proud and impressed and a little amused. It was just brief, and Lisa didn’t notice, but Holly smiled back.

‘And she had her pick of specialties. Oww,’ Lisa cried out, ‘you did that on purpose Holly.’

‘No, but I will do if you start on that old chestnut about how I‘m wasted in forensics.’

Gail bit her lip again but this time to stop from chuckling. Rachel looked at Holly and raised her eyebrows as if to say ‘here we go again.’ Yep, it was a familiar dance: Lisa sniping about Holly’s job, Holly deflecting. Lisa opened her mouth to say something but clearly thought better of it. Uncharacteristic restraint, Holly thought, but she figured Lisa was rather at her mercy right now.

‘And I am providing downward traction on the arm,’ Rachel smiled. She was holding Lisa’s wrist with one hand to keep it in place, and Lisa’s flexed elbow with the other and gently pushing down on it.

‘Um, cool I guess,’ Gail said from her position perched on the kitchen bench. Normally Lisa hated anyone sitting on the bench but Holly suspected she was too distracted by the pain to care. ‘Do you need painkillers, Lisa? An icepack?’ 

‘Painkillers would be a good start,’ Holly said, ‘we’ll apply an ice pack when we’re finished.’

‘Bathroom cabinet,’ Lisa grunted, and Gail hopped off the bench to go in search of the painkillers.

In the event, Holly impressed even herself at how smoothly she managed to fix Lisa’s shoulder, although she suspected it was a fluke more than anything. Gail’s expression was one of awe but also gratitude. While Gail was, without a doubt, relieved Lisa’s ordeal was over, Holly had a strong feeling her gratitude might owe a lot to the fact Lisa had finally stopped shrieking. 

‘So why are you even here, Lisa?’ Holly ventured, as she placed an icepack on Lisa’s shoulder. 

‘In case you haven’t noticed Hols I do live here,’ Lisa replied sarcastically.

‘Yeah, but you weren’t due back from the Bahamas for another six days.’

‘Don’t you watch the news. There was a freak hurricane. I was lucky to get the last plane out.’

‘Oh,’ Holly said. Would she and Gail ever catch a break? Even the weather was conspiring against them it seemed, or at least against their plan to keep Lisa and Rachel out of this mess.

‘Yeah, it was an all night flight. The turbulence was shocking. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I touched down at 6 am and it was chaos at the airport and impossible to find a taxi. Then when I tried to call you to give me a ride home you didn’t answer so I had to call Rachel.’ Lisa's voice was reproachful, like Holly was personally responsible for the whole litany of disasters.

‘I didn’t mind,’ Rachel butted in, ‘but I should probably be getting back to the baby soon.’ 

Holly and Rachel exchanged a long-suffering look. The two of them were well versed in the art of dealing with Lisa and her demands. Still, Rachel had a ten-month-old little girl who she’d left in the care of her partner Mike in order to come to Lisa’s rescue and Mike would need to get to work soon.

‘And then,’ Lisa continued, ignoring Rachel, ‘I come home and find you and blue-collar have defiled my bed and then blue-collar assaults me.’

‘We did not defile your bed, it’s the guest room,’ Gail protested. A little frown of outrage had formed on her forehead and her voice had risen into a whine so she actually looked and sounded a lot like the brat she once claimed to be.

‘The bed belongs to me. Actually, come to think of it, I can add trespass to the assault charges.’

‘Nuh-uh,’ Holly shook her head, realizing as she said the word how like Gail that sounded, ‘you gave me the keys to your place remember. And as for assault, I think Gail could easily plead self-defense.’

‘Not if she’s in the slammer for whatever other crimes she’s committed.’

Slammer. Really. Did Lisa think they were in some B-grade movie? Holly took a calming breath. When Lisa was in one of these moods it was hard to shift her. Obstinate. Implacable. There was no reasoning with her or appealing to her better self. Did Lisa have a better self, Holly wondered, and immediately mentally kicked herself. She really was starting to sound like Gail. 

Sulking, that’s what Lisa was doing, Holly realized, which meant her ego was wounded. Jesus, what did she expect creeping up on a highly trained – Holly stopped. What should she call Gail? A secret agent? That sounded too much like they were indeed in a B-grade movie. My girlfriend the secret agent. Whatever, she needed to try a different tack with Lisa.

‘What were you thinking, holding a gun to Gail’s head, even if it was a toy?’ she said gently, almost as though trying to coax a child.

‘It was a joke,’ Lisa said impatiently, ‘Rachel and I saw you two lying there – you know you left the bedroom door open - and I figured you stayed here because your apartment had a burst pipe or something. I bought the toy gun when I went to Sharon’s wild west party – the one you wouldn’t come to because you were moping around about the beat cop– and I just thought it would be fun.’

‘I didn’t want any part of it,’ Rachel held up her hands, ‘that’s why I went to the kitchen to make coffee.’

Gail looked like she was about to say something but Holly shook head warningly.

‘So,’ Holly maintained her placid tone, ‘given what Gail’s involved in at the moment, can you see why this might not have been a good idea?’

‘Okay, so what is Gail involved in?’ Rachel asked.

‘Holly, can you explain,’ Gail sighed, ‘I’m going to shower.’ 

Lisa watched Gail as she left the room. Holly couldn’t help but follow her gaze, appreciating the way Gail, even in the too small sweat pants, exuded an effortless sexuality, that extra sway of the hips a tantalizing promise. Holly couldn’t help but smile a little because she knew exactly what that promise held, at least for her– that passion and Gail’s assuredness and, yes, even playfulness when it came to sex. 

‘Holly, you never told me how totally hot Gail is naked,’ Lisa said, her tone quite matter-of-fact as if there were nothing unusual or wrong about her making such an observation.

‘Lisa,’ Rachel admonished as Holly found herself sputtering.

‘Eew, Lisa don’t tell me that while you were thrashing about on the floor in agony you took the time to check Gail out,’ Holly said, feeling distinctly uncomfortable at Lisa’s objectification of Gail. When it came to Gail, Lisa’s default position was to be disparaging and critical, yet apparently that hadn't stopped her from ogling Gail or voicing her approval of what she saw.

‘Hard not to,’ Lisa said, ‘have you forgotten she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. But don’t worry. I’m no threat. I’m not interested in a woman who nearly killed me with her bare hands.’

‘If Gail had wanted to kill you, she would have used her gun,’ Holly said drily. Even if Gail and Lisa were the last people left on earth, Holly was convinced Gail would opt to go it alone. Holly wouldn’t swear to it, but she was fairly certain she heard Rachel stifle a laugh.

By the time Gail showered, Holly had given the other two women a sanitized version of why she and Gail were on the run. Even that was alarming enough.

‘So if these people are targeting Holly, why she can’t just go the police?’ Rachel asked as Gail joined them at the kitchen table.

‘Because the person targeting Holly is probably a bent cop,’ Gail said, reaching across Holly for a container of cereal that had been put out. ‘Mmm, granola, healthy,’ she said with false brightness as she poured the cereal into a bowl and covered it with a generous dollop of plain yogurt. 

‘Just be grateful I’m willing to feed you at all,’ Lisa snapped. 

Gail rolled her eyes but shoveled the food into her mouth. Holly lips curved into a half smile. Gail had an abnormally fast metabolism and, after last night, Holly had no doubt she’d be hungry.

‘So the thing is, it’s possible this bent cop is giving kickbacks to other cops on the force to turn a blind-eye, or maybe we’re talking about more than one bent cop. Maybe there’s a bunch of them. So, at the moment, I don’t know who to trust to protect Holly,’ Gail said between mouthfuls of cereal. 

‘Or yourself,’ Rachel said kindly.

Gail gave a little nod, but there was something self-deprecating about the gesture, like she, or at the very least her safety, didn’t matter as much. Holly reached over and squeezed her hand. 

She sensed where Gail’s mind had gone. Santana and Steve. Essentially Steve had been a decent guy, but he was also weak and easily swayed, eager to live up to the golden boy image. So when Santana offered to make him look good by handing him a few collars, Steve couldn’t resist. The money slipped under the table didn’t hurt either. All he had to do was look the other way every now and again or occasionally drop an investigation because of an apparent lack of evidence. 

How many other cops might do the same, Holly wondered. How many might start with a single bribe, a bit of extra cash for a family holiday or to pay off a gambling debt, swear they’d never do it again, and then find themselves up to their neck in it. That thought had also occurred to Lisa, although she, of course, expressed it more bluntly.

‘So you’re saying we basically can’t trust any cop. That anyone, in fact, any number of cops in this city could be corrupt,’ Lisa said, ‘whatever happened to protect and serve.’

‘I could be wrong,’ Gail said, not rising to Lisa’s bait, ‘it could just be this one cop but I don’t want to take any chances.’

Lisa scowled but then nodded. Despite the plastic surgeon’s apparent belligerence, Holly could see Lisa was actually worried. 

‘We need to leave soon, just in case those goons do come looking for Holly and me here.’ Gail explained.

‘Is that likely?’ Lisa asked.

‘I won’t lie. It’s a possibility and they might go to Rachel’s place too but they’ll just want information. Harming you would draw attention and they don’t want that. And these people - they may be cops or posing as cops, so don’t be fooled.’

‘But we should appear to be cooperative,’ Lisa said.

‘Yep. I’m guessing it will take them a day or two to track you down, but you need a cover story. Something plausible,’ Gail said

‘What do you suggest?’ Rachel asked.

‘Well, the best liars stick as close as possible to the truth. So if asked, you could say you came back this morning, discovered Holly, who said she had to stay because there was a burst pipe in her apartment. Then she left after breakfast, ostensibly to go to work.’

‘What about your work, Holly? Won’t they raise the alarm when you don’t turn up?’ Lisa said. 

It was a smart question, and Holly saw Gail incline her head a little in acknowledgment of that.

‘Holly’s going to call work and say her mother’s sick and she needs to take the week to visit her in Vancouver,’ Gail said.

‘Your mother’s sick, Holly,’ Lisa exclaimed sympathetically, ‘I didn’t know that.’

Okay, maybe not so sharp, Holly decided. She could see Gail fighting not to roll her eyes. Instead, Gail reached for the granola and made a great show of pouring another serving into her bowl. Clearly, she judged it better to attack the food than snark at Lisa.

‘Geez how much does she eat,’ Lisa sneered, disgust written all over her face. Lisa ate like a bird. Her self-restraint when it came to food was something she boasted about. Privately, Holly believed Lisa would be insanely jealous if she knew how much Gail could put away without gaining the slightest bit of weight.

‘Um, Lis,’ Holly started, ‘about my mom–‘

‘Oh, yes of course. It’s make believe, your mom’s fine,’ Lisa waved her hand about and gave a little giggle as if to say ‘oh silly me’. 

Holly sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. Lisa was being uncharacteristically flakey. Granted, she had that tendency and often indulged it, but usually she could step up when a situation demanded. 

‘Don’t worry, Holly. I can do it,’ Lisa said, sounding a lot less airheaded. In fact, her voice gathered determination as she spoke. ‘If anyone comes asking for you or Gail, I can be convincing. Remember how I talked that cop out of fining me for double parking in an ambulance zone and I wasn’t even a doctor then.’

It had been an impressive feat Holly had to admit that. She liked too that Lisa had said she’d stand firm if anyone came looking for either she or Gail, not just Holly alone.

‘What about you Rach?’ 

‘Yes, of course, I can do it, Holly,’ Rachel reached across the table and gave Holly’s hand a reassuring squeeze, ‘I wish I didn’t have to. I wish both of you were safe but I won’t give either of you away.’

Holly felt Gail nod beside her, as if satisfied. 

‘Not to be melodramatic,’ Gail said softly, ‘but if it’s a life or death situation, you tell them what you need to.’

‘Yeah, I’m not giving up my life for your pale, skinny ass,’ Lisa said to Gail. It was snide and even hostile but Gail just laughed which made the others follow suit. It broke the mood, Holly realized, and it was just what they needed. Holly could’ve pointed out Lisa had ogled that very ass not less than an hour ago. She could’ve but she didn’t.

They left soon after. Gail had snagged two baseball caps from Lisa, reasoning it was hot out and it would look strange if they were wandering around in hoodies. 

Lisa was somewhat tearful when they said their goodbyes. Hugging Holly fiercely she said, ‘You come back Stewart, you hear me.’

Holly nodded and mustered a brave smile. Then Lisa turned to Gail, ‘And you promise you’ll keep her safe.’ There was nothing malicious or spiteful about the way Lisa spoke, instead, her tone was one of entreaty. Gail nodded her head solemnly. No snark there either. Rachel hugged Holly and Gail in turn and then they were on their way. 

Holly felt somewhat melancholy as they stepped out into a deliciously sunny morning. One of those days you should spend lying beneath a shade tree, the dappled sunlight warming in that perfect way. Not too hot but hot enough to make your limbs agreeably languid and your mind unconsciously drift from the cares and complications of life until you found yourself absolutely present here in this moment, the serenity and the wonder of it making you thankful to be alive. 

A car horn sounding jolted Holly out of her reverie. How many more of those days could she count on, she wondered. The enormity, the sheer insanity of what she and Gail were embarking on struck her properly for the first time. Last night it had all been about getting away and finding a safe place for the night. Then almost inevitably there was sex - always the desire, the drive to connect neither of them could resist – until finally the need to sleep, their utter physical and mental exhaustion overtook them. 

So there had been no time to process, to weigh up and mull over just what it was they were facing. Now, in the light of day, as Holly considered their predicament, she wondered at her recklessness in asserting they could figure a way through. Worse still, she didn’t have the heart to admit this to Gail. Not just yet.

Gail kept them on the backstreets again. They didn’t speak at first, and Holly wondered if Gail was just as sobered by the impossibility of their situation.

‘Where are we going?’ Holly asked after a few minutes. 

‘My cousin’s house. We need weapons,’ Gail said tersely.

‘We need weapons?’ Holly asked confused, ‘haven’t you got a gun?’

‘It’s a piece of junk. Anyway we need ammunition and a gun for you,’ Gail stopped walking and turned to face Holly, ‘I know what you’re going to say. You hate guns but I don’t think we have a choice. This is one time when you really, really need a gun.’

‘Maybe,’ Holly conceded, ‘except there is one problem. I have no idea how to use a gun which actually means a gun in my hands a liability.’ Holly finished a little smugly confident she had a watertight argument.

‘Not if I teach you how to use it,’ Gail said, ‘which is what I’m gonna do after we visit my cousin’s house.’

‘Okay, why do I feel like I’m not getting a say in this? You know I’m not comfortable with guns.’

Gail nodded and took Holly’s hand. ‘I wouldn’t ask you to do this unless it were absolutely necessary. The people coming after us. They have guns. Hopefully, we can find a way out of this without, one, having a gun pulled on us, or two, having to shoot anybody. The only definite is they won’t think twice about shooting either one of us, so yeah I think you need a gun.’

‘Oh,’ Holly stalled. Intellectually she knew Gail was right but she couldn’t visualize herself holding a gun, much less pulling the trigger to shoot someone. Gail didn’t immediately speak again, and Holly was grateful for the space to consider this thing she was about to commit to.

Holly, of all people, knew precisely the damage a bullet could do, crushing and forcing tissues apart, creating a cavity that could be thirty times wider than it’s path. Even as the cavity closed over, shockwaves damaged the surrounding tissues, organs, and bones. If bones splintered, they became projectiles, ricocheting around the body. Then there were bullets that turned innards to jelly and bones to dust. If you weren’t shot in the head or heart, it could take hours to die, hours of unmitigated agony, as you slowly bled out.

How knowing all this, could she contemplate shooting someone? She who had sworn she would never use a firearm. Had actually taken a stand on the issue. Of course, she got why Gail as a police officer carried a gun, why it was necessary in law enforcement. But she, Holly Stewart, an avowed pacifist, carry a gun? Then again, it had never occurred to Holly that she might find herself in a situation where she needed a gun. 

‘I might not be there to protect you or be in a position to use my weapon,’ Gail finally said, her voice gentle, ‘anyway if someone threatened to kill me, wouldn’t you want me to use my weapon to protect myself?’

‘Yeah,’ Holly nodded, ‘of course.’ Self-defense. It was a no-brainer. Just as she would want Gail to do whatever it took to save herself, so too Gail would expect the same of her. If she was okay with Gail carrying a gun and was quite happy for her to use it to protect them, then Holly should also step up.

‘Look at it this way,’ Gail continued reasonably, ‘it’s like taking out life insurance.’ She stopped and frowned. ‘Okay, maybe that’s not a good analogy. It’s like a guarantee. If you’re prepared for the worst it usually doesn’t happen.’

‘You got empirical evidence to back that up?’ Holly said, trying to lighten the mood.

‘No, but if you are not prepared, it’s like you are tempting fate.’

‘Okay, with the greatest respect Gail, that’s just irrational but,’ Holly held up a hand as Gail was about to interrupt, ‘but I get it. If we’re prepared we’ve got more chance of getting out of this alive.’

‘So I can teach you how to shoot?’ Gail asked hopefully.

Holly blew out a breath. ‘Yes. You can teach me to shoot.’

Gail gave a tiny nod and then leaned over and gave Holly a kiss on the cheek. A quick one, like she was stealing it, which made Holly smile a little.

‘So why are we going to your cousin’s place to get weapons?’

‘Cousin Blake. Forty-three. Complete ass. Thinks he’s god’s gift to the world but then he is a Peck. His wife came to her senses six years ago and left him and took the kids. Since then he’s filled the empty vacuum by buying weapons and cars.’

‘And he’s willing to give you guns?’ Holly asked. This didn’t quite add up. Why would Gail make herself know to her cousin, who was presumably a cop? Aside from the need to remain undercover, as far as Holly understood, Gail was persona non grata among the entire Peck clan.

‘Oh god no. Blake’s not a sharer. But he has so many weapons, he’s unlikely to notice if one or two are missing.’

Gail then explained Blake was a white shirt. The only reason he got that far was because ‘he crawls up everyone’s ass, well his superiors’ anyway,’ she said. Blake was sadly lacking in flair or imagination, so much so it became something of a joke on the force that he regularly clocked in at 8 am on the dot and left at 5 pm and not a moment later. Then he would walk down the street and go to one of his two favorite watering holes, drink two beers, occasionally three, and eat a dinner of either steak or a burger and be home by 8 pm.

‘So he doesn’t do shift work?’ Holly asked.

‘He’s in the big building. Besides, he got a letter from his doctor saying he has chronic insomnia and it would be detrimental to his health to do night shift.’

‘I have a strong feeling you don’t believe a word of that,’ Holly said.

‘My, my, you are genius Dr Stewart,’ Gail teased.

After walking for another ten minutes, Gail stopped and said it was time for Holly to call work.

‘We’re far enough from Lisa’s now if anyone traces the call they won’t make the connection,’ she said handing Holly the phone. It was a compact flip phone. New but it still looked about ten years out of date. Nothing smart about this.

‘It only sends and receives calls and texts,’ Gail explained, noticing Holly’s scrutiny of the device.

‘You really think they could trace the call?’

‘Unlikely. It’s a burner phone, but we’ll probably need to get a new one soon.’ 

Gail looked faintly amused when Holly finished speaking to her boss - or more accurately stopped stammering through the conversation, because despite the act Holly had put on with Carla, lying really didn’t come easily to her.

‘That was hopeless wasn’t it,’ Holly sighed heavily, ‘I’m so bad at this sort of thing.’

‘No. It was perfect,’ Gail smiled, ‘of course you’d be rambling if your mother was really sick.’

‘Oh,’ Holly said, ‘I guess you’re right.’

Blake’s house was on a small block, single story and red brick. It was pretty much identical to both of the neighboring houses, and the ones on either side of that ad infinitum until you got to the end of the street. Drab and conventional, the house was probably built after the Second World War. There was a driveway down one side, a patch of browning grass out the front and a concrete path leading to the front door. About as inspired a Blake was, Holly guessed. 

Gail led them through the gate to the back. A four-door garage took up most of the backyard. The rear of the house was just as unremarkable as the front, two mid-sized windows and a back door, the top half of which was plate glass. For a moment Holly imagined Gail was going to smash it to gain access.

‘How are we going to get in,’ Holly whispered, but Gail had already picked the lock on the door and motioned for her to follow. ‘I would have thought being police he’d have an alarm.’

‘Being police and a Peck, he’s too arrogant,’ Gail shrugged.

‘We’re committing larceny,’ Holly said with wonder, ‘I’m a larcenist. I’ve never stolen anything in my life.’

‘Never?’ Gail asked, ‘never ever.’

Holly stopped for a moment and considered and then she colored. ‘Oh, there was this one time. You know what, you don’t need to know about it.’

‘Well, when you put it like that, I so do Holly,’ Gail grinned evilly.

‘I don’t think you have to know everything about me or me about you. It’s healthy if we have a few secrets.’

‘Really,’ Gail said doubtfully, arching an eyebrow. 

The back door led them directly into a pokey kitchen which had that sterile look which indicated it wasn’t used that much. No fruit sitting a bowl, no dishes in the sink or a shopping list on the refrigerator. 

‘Blake keeps his guns in the basement,’ Gail’s voice had become tighter, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Holly. ‘Down this way,’ Gail pointed to a doorway leading off the kitchen and to a flight of stairs. She flicked on a light switch by the door to illuminate the way. 

On the first step, Gail hesitated and shuddered just a little. One of those involuntary quivers people often explain away by saying ‘someone just walked over my grave.’ Holly, of course, knew that was complete nonsense. Bunkum, as her father might say. It was caused by a subconscious release of adrenaline, usually in response to sudden cold or an unwanted memory. 

Gail had never told her about Perick. Holly had pieced it together from gossip around the morgue and the occasional comment Gail let slip. Having performed the autopsy on one of Perick’s victims, Holly didn’t need to imagine what Gail had been through. She’d measured and described the deep cuts left by the ligatures, documented the marks that bore witness to Ross Perick’s sadism and identified the amount of ketamine in the woman’s system. It chilled her every time she thought how close Gail had come to that end. How many times had Holly had to stop herself from tracing a finger over the faint scar on Gail’s forehead, certain this too was Perick’s handiwork.

Gail hadn’t moved from the step, and her expression stricken. Holly reached out and touched Gail’s arm gently, making her jump. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked.

‘I don’t much like basements,’ Gail shrugged, trying for casual but her face still looked grim, ‘I’ll tell you about it sometime.’

Now was not the time or place to reveal she knew exactly why Gail was overwhelmed, Holly decided. Instead, she reached for Gail’s hand and squeezed it. 

‘Don’t forget I’m here,’ she said, hoping this at least might offer Gail some comfort. It seemed to help because Gail nodded and squeezed Holly’s hand back. 

‘I’m okay now, ‘ Gail took a deep breath and began to descend the stairs.

Gail wasn’t wrong when she said Blake liked collecting guns. Three sides of the basement room were taken up with gun cabinets displaying everything from pistols to shotguns.

‘Shit,’ Holly said, ‘shouldn’t this all be in a gun safe.’

‘Essentially they are gun safes,’ Gail explained, ‘reinforced glass, steel plates behind the timber and three locks on each cabinet. This lot probably cost Blake more than this shitty little house.’

‘Three locks. They look serious.’

‘I should be able to pick them without too much trouble. You can entertain me with stories of grand theft.’

‘Ha.’

‘I’m serious, Holly,’ Gail smiled sweetly, ‘it will help me concentrate.’

‘You know, I really wish I could believe that,’ Holly scoffed and then sighed. ‘You’re not going to let this go are you?’ 

Gail shook her head. There was no sign of the panic - yes that’s what it was Holly decided, definitely panic - which gripped Gail at the top of the stairs. Replaced, no doubt, by the famous Peck fortitude. Holly sighed inwardly. Resilient to the end. She didn’t really believe the story of her misdeeds would help Gail focus. No, Holly recognized the request for what it was¬ – a way to distract Gail from thoughts of that other basement.

‘Okay. I was nine. Ava-Mae lived next door and our parents thought being the same age we’d naturally become the best of friends.’

‘Bingo,’ Gail said at the same time as there was a small clicking sound.

‘What?’ Holly asked, confused.

‘I picked the first lock. It was the easy one, though. Go on. Ava-Mae. I’m guessing she was the playmate from hell.’

‘Oh god yeah. Her idea of fun was putting on make-up and playing with Barbie dolls. Her mother even entered her into a couple of children’s beauty pageants.’

‘And you were a Tomboy who wanted to play with science not dolls.’

‘You bet. And that’s what finally did it. Ava-Mae told me a real girl wouldn’t want to be a scientist and anyway science experiments were boring and smelly. Then she up-turned some mold cultures I’d been working on for weeks and destroyed them.’

‘The bitch,’ Gail said with feeling.

‘We are talking about a nine-year-old Gail.’

‘Okay, so where does the stealing fit in.’

‘Well, I went round to her house when she and her mom were out. I knew where the spare key was kept. Under a pet rock by the back door.’

‘Well hidden then,’ Gail said sarcastically, and then she laughed. ‘So break and enter as well as larceny. I’m consorting with a hardened criminal.’

‘Not sure if that’s exactly a problem seeing as you are currently picking a lock in a house to which you gained access by picking a lock.’

‘Splitting hairs,’ Gail waved a hand. 

‘So I went up to Ava-Mae’s bedroom and I got her Barbie dolls – she had five plus a Ken doll – and I pulled all their legs and arms and heads off. Then I panicked because I knew if she saw them like that she’d guess I was responsible.’

‘So what did you do?’

‘I took them and buried them in our back yard and never said a thing.’

‘So Ava-Mae didn’t ask if you’d seen her Barbie dolls?’

‘We never played together after that. I told my mother what Ava-Mae had done to the mold cultures and my mother said I didn’t have to see her again. Then her family moved about a year later.’

‘Dismembering Barbie dolls and burying them. It was a fine line then,’ Gail said dryly.

‘A fine line?’

‘Between a career in forensics and becoming a serial killer.’

‘Very droll.’

‘I do my best,’ Gail smiled without looking up from her task. She was using a lock picking set, which was made up of three compact tools. An l-shaped torque wrench, a lock pick and a rake, which looked like a pick with ridges. Holly was astounded by the number of things Gail seemed to have hidden about her person – a burner phone, lock picking set, gun, aviator sunglasses. She’d even spied a flick knife. 

‘Damn,’ Gail said.

‘What?’ Holly looked across at Gail with concern.

‘I may have frozen the lock. I’ve applied too much tension.’

‘Okay is that bad,’ Holly looked worried.

‘Annoying. I just have to start again. The lock is made up of pins. If I apply tension with the torque wrench and use the pick to touch the pins one by one, I can identify which one binds or resists the most. That’s the first one I need to pick little by little. Then I can move onto the next pin and so on.’ 

‘Did you learn this at spy school or something.’

Gail scrunched up her face seemingly in derision but when she looked up she was smiling. ‘Yeah Holly, haven’t you seen my Secret Agent Diploma. Nuh. Elaine taught me this as a kid. Made me do it blindfolded.’

‘Promise me if we have kids they won’t have to do that,’ Holly pulled a face, the implications of her words only hitting her when she finished speaking. 

Oh boy, was she getting ahead of herself. Here they were on the run from god knows how many people, breaking into houses and stealing guns and she was blithely talking about their yet to be conceived children. To be fair, last night Gail had mentioned wanting to settle down and maybe have a family, so perhaps Holly wasn’t being too presumptuous.

‘Oh god no,’ Gail said, without missing a beat, ‘kind of glad I know how do it though. It comes in handy in times like this. Double-edge sword. The Peck upbringing.’

Which was true, Holly realized. The Peck upbringing had made Gail into the person she’d fallen in love with, or at least played some part in shaping her, even if Gail was just as much defined by her repudiation of her parents and their expectations. And being brought up a Peck meant Gail did indeed have some very useful skills, which could ultimately make the difference between going under and surviving this mess. Then again, wasn’t it Mama Peck who’d signed Gail up to this ghost unit in the first place.

‘Ahh,’ Gail said, ‘done. Now for the toughest one.’ The final lock took another fifteen minutes. Twice Gail applied too much tension and had to start again and by the time the lock popped she had sweat beads on her forehead and was swearing, as Holly’s mother would say, like a sailor.

Holly found herself smiling widely, more than a little awed, even though Gail’s success brought her closer to having to hold a gun. She had a badass girlfriend that was for sure. 

Gail pulled out a storage compartment at the bottom of the cabinet to reveal what Holly could only describe as a cache of guns. Not neatly ordered like the ones on display behind the glass above, but jumbled together without care, stacked one on top of the other. Gail was right. Blake wouldn’t notice if two were missing.

‘Glocks,’ Gail said, pulling out two guns, ‘semi-automatics. America’s handgun of choice. It’s popular in Canada too because it’s lightweight and easy to fire. These are Glock 17s because, well, it holds seventeen rounds. Most widely used pistol in law enforcement worldwide.’

Holly nodded wanly but didn’t say anything. Gail rummaged around in a second compartment, retrieving four boxes of bullets.

‘Okay. We’re set. Now we need a car,’ she grinned, standing up. She stuffed the guns and the ammunition along with her hoodie into a small backpack Lisa had furnished.

‘A car?’

‘Keep up Holly. I’m teaching you to shoot,’ Gail kidded gently, ‘I can’t very well do that in downtown Toronto, so we’re taking a trip to the woods. Fortunately, Blake has several vehicles to choose from for our transportation.’

‘You’re going to hot-wire a car now?’

‘I could but it’s far easier to use keys. He keeps sets to all the cars in the kitchen.’ Gail's lips twitched slightly 

'Okay. You're enjoying this aren't you.'

'Would you hate me if I said a tiny bit.'

Holly laughed. 'No, it's kind of reassuring you're so, um' she searched for the right word, 'resourceful.'

'Well if all else fails I guess we could live a life of crime. After all, you've got form with the Barbie dolls and all,' Gail teased.

Holly made a face, but Gail leaned in and kissed her, grinning like a kid who'd just found the candy.

In the end Gail settled for a slightly beat-up truck. The other three cars in the garage were too souped up, with rear spoilers and alloy wheels, and might draw unwanted attention. One car painted a flaming orange even had its engine exposed above the hood.

‘At least Blake has a hobby,’ Holly said, to which Gail grunted non-committedly.

Gail was about to open the garage door when they heard the noise. A crick. Holly realized it was the gate opening. Then it fell back on its latch with a louder more metallic grate. 

Gail put a finger to her lips in a ssh gesture and motioned for Holly to crouch. There was a little window on the side of the garage facing the back of the house and Gail ducked down and made her way over to it. Standing, she flattened herself against the wall next to the window and then moved her head just a little to see out.

The tension was clear in the tight set of her body and her expression was completely serious, all joking and teasing gone. After a moment, Holly saw her relax, her shoulders dropping. Then there was the crick of the gate again and the latch banging into place.

'Gas meter man,' Gail explained, blowing out a breath.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Gail was a good teacher, Holly had to give her that. And well, Holly always had a compulsion to excel in class. In fact prided herself on her ability to quickly grasp and put into practice complex instructions. It didn’t hurt either that she had exceptional hand-eye coordination, which was why she was good at sports. The upshot, which was most definitely not a pun Holly inwardly smirked, was she learned how to use the gun without too much trouble. She could see Gail was impressed. 

They were in a little clearing some distance into the woods. Gail had found five tin cans in Blake’s recycling bin, which she lined up as targets on a row of tree stumps. At one point, she stood behind Holly, adjusting her stance and grip, and Holly couldn’t help but lean back into her. ‘Focus nerd,’ Gail had whispered, her breath tickling Holly’s ear, which hadn’t helped Holly concentrate at all. It reminded her of the batting cages, although she resolved to be a better student than Gail.

After Holly had indeed proved herself a surprisingly good shot, Gail decided to up the ante. ‘Okay, I’m gonna call out randomly which tin can to shoot,’ Gail said. She’d given each a number, and now as she shouted the numbers, Holly took aim and fired.

‘Geez nerd, you hit every single one,’ Gail all but squealed excitedly, ‘that was badass.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Holly said. She wouldn’t admit to Gail how as the day wore on she began to enjoy the challenge. Didn’t mind the feel of the gun in her hands, in fact found it reassuring. That taking aim and hitting the target gave her a sense of satisfaction, even power. Made her stand up taller and put a swagger in her step. Geez, she was such a cliché. No, she was not going to admit any of this to Gail.

‘Are you sure you’ve never used a gun before?’ Gail asked.

Holly shook her head and held out the Glock to her. Gail grinned widely and shook her head in turn. ‘That is yours now nerd. Lunch? I’m starving.’ 

With that, Gail bounded over to the truck to retrieve the food they’d bought from a café on the way. Sandwiches made from thick, crusty bread, bottles of juice and two brownies so packed full of chocolate they looked practically black. They sat on a log to eat. It was wide enough so they could sit comfortably with the food spread out between them. 

Holly could almost imagine they were playing hooky, sneaking off for a lazy picnic, having decided the day was far too glorious to spend indoors at work. But that was in a world where they led normal lives, with jobs and people they could trust, and where no one was coming after them to kill them. 

It was early afternoon now, and Holly could feel the sun on her back through her cotton shirt. Just like this morning, she felt the urge, almost like an ache, to stretch out on the grass beneath one of the maple trees that bordered the clearing, and then pull Gail close and just hold her.

‘I guess you want to talk about what we’re going to do next,’ Gail broke into her reverie.

‘A plan,’ Holly said.

‘Yep, a plan. I’m surprised you haven’t wanted to talk about it. I mean, someone like you Holly,’ Gail stopped and ran her thumb across the back of Holly’s hand, ‘you like life to be fairly ordered. Predictable. What is it you scientists do? Ask a question, come up with a hypothesis, test it, analyze the data and draw a conclusion.’

Holly laughed. ‘So you did pay attention in science class.’

Gail made a wry face.

‘It’s okay. I’m all about growing these days remember.’

Gail's lips quirked at the memory. ‘That really should have been my line.’

‘Yeah, well I did tell you to try something new.’

‘If I remember correctly, you said it wouldn’t kill me to try something new.’

‘Well, it didn’t didn't it?’

‘The batting cages? You saw what happened!’ Gail pretended to pout.

‘No. I was actually thinking the new thing was me.’

‘Oh,’ Gail said, and then ‘oh’ again. She pursed her lips, suddenly serious. ‘It was never about trying something new with you, it was never an experiment, Holly. It was,’ Gail stopped again, floundering for the right words, ‘it, you made sense. It was like a force I couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. For the first time in my life being with someone felt right. I felt right.’

Holly smiled, the lop-sided one she now knew Gail adored, a revelation both surprising and sweet. That rightness Gail had felt wasn’t just about discovering her sexuality, it was about finding love, falling in love. Even then. Even at the very beginning. Holly had felt it too. Had experienced that compulsion to be with Gail. 

The thrill when she saw the platinum blonde hair round a corner at the morgue or bob up at a crime scene. Fascinated by the snark and the stories and the attitude, by Gail’s calculated but delightful capriciousness and her keen intelligence. Drawn in by the utter delight Gail took in the bizarre and strange, her ready acceptance of everything about Holly, even the nerdiness that drove others away. 

They had been such idiots not to recognize it. So stupid not to take a risk on each other but instead allow Lisa’s interference and a job offer in another country and their own fears of commitment to get in the way. Because just like Gail said, it felt right, and in a way none of Holly's previous relationships ever had, or even came close to replicating. 

Holly kissed Gail. Gently on the lips and then with a little more force, placing a hand behind Gail’s head. From there the kiss intensified so they were both breathing heavily and Gail was pulling Holly towards her, shifting closer on the log. After a little they stopped, and Gail looked at her shyly but with wonder and then smiled like Holly was some kind of miracle, which in turn made Holly shy. She stood up abruptly, pulling Gail with her, and kissing her on the cheek. The moment broken. She sensed Gail’s relief. Now was not the time to give into the rawness, the intensity of their feelings. 

They packed up after that. Collecting the rubbish from their lunch and placing the guns in the backpack. Gail had tried firing them both and seemed satisfied they were in working order.

‘So a plan,’ Holly said as they set off back to town.

‘A plan,’ Gail grimaced, ‘the fact is I don’t really have one.’

‘Uh huh,’ Holly nodded slowly. She’d suspected that. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t raised the question until now. Didn’t want to know if Gail didn’t have a strategy, the blueprint for getting them out alive. More to the point, Holly still wasn’t ready to admit she was at a loss too.

‘I don’t even know who we’re up against.’

‘So you need help,’ Holly suggested, ‘this is too big for us to tackle alone. You need backup from people you can trust.’

‘We can’t trust anybody, you know that Holly.’

‘Chris, Chloe and yes Andy,’ Holly reeled the names off, ‘and of course Oliver.’

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘They each made it clear they didn’t believe you were corrupt. Even Andy. Chris didn’t hesitate. He was adamant. Chloe too. Now when I think about what Oliver said, it was like he guessed what you were involved in and was trying to tell me in a coded kind of way.’

‘Yeah, sounds like Oliver,’ Gail said, ‘but Andy? What about Swarek?’

‘Andy was embarrassed by his behavior. Conflicted. I could tell she didn’t want to believe Swarek because she knew you weren’t that person.’

‘So the whole gang,’ Gail said flatly, ‘because if Chris and Chloe believe in me, then it figures Dov would too.’ 

Holly didn’t know what to make of Gail’s tone. There was an edge of disbelief like Gail wasn’t convinced her friends would actually think highly enough of her to remain loyal. Holly knew enough about Gail’s self-doubt to understand where that skepticism was coming from and not for the first time wished she knew a way to erase it.

‘Yes. The whole gang,’ Holly replied gently, but then added vehemently, ‘but not Traci.’ 

‘Why not Traci? I’d trust her more than the others put together. Well, she and Oliver.’

‘I told you, she kept pressuring me to reveal where you were or help find you, even though I said I didn’t know anything. She knew you and Kurt had gone undercover at the Dunant party as Mr and Mrs Coffey and that I was at the party, and then yesterday she showed me surveillance footage of us getting in the lift at the hotel in San Francisco. She knew who Kurt really was and she’d tracked down the offices of Coffey Enterprises.’

‘She’s a good detective.’

‘That’s all your going to say?’

‘It’s impressive, what she uncovered. Kurt and I did a pretty good job of covering our tracks,’ Gail said, ‘anyway if she’s our bent cop why let me escape during the warehouse bust yesterday?’

‘Maybe she was worried you’d expose her if she took you down to the station. Maybe she has other plans for you,’ Holly said grimly, ‘I just have a bad feeling about her.’

‘Which is probably my fault for making you so paranoid about everyone,’ Gail sighed again, ‘have you ever thought you might be misreading Traci’s motives, and maybe for some warped reason she actually cares what happens to me.’ 

Holly twisted her mouth. She wasn’t convinced

‘I know it’s hard to believe anyone would go out on a limb for me,’ Gail said bitterly.

‘No, that’s not true. I think there are plenty of people who’d be there for you, no questions asked. Just not Traci.’

‘Holly, I saw Traci after Steve was exposed. It nearly destroyed her. The betrayal cut deep. Traci’s a loyal person, but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t stand by Steve, not when his actions went against everything Traci stands for, everything we were meant to represent and uphold as police officers.’ 

‘Except wouldn’t that be a good way of deflecting attention if she were bent.’

‘Except she’s not,’ Gail said. 

‘You know what. This is contradictory. One minute you’re saying no one can be trusted, the next minute you’re okay with Traci.’ Holly said sounding frustrated. She didn’t want to be exasperated but she feared they were going around in circles.

‘Fuck, I don’t know, alright,’ Gail burst out and banged her hands on the steering wheel. 

It took Holly by surprise. Gail didn’t normally raise her voice at her. Holly waited, not trusting herself to speak. Gail worried almost compulsively at her bottom lip, biting it hard again and again. Then she blew out a breath. 

‘I’m sorry I shouted, I’m sorry,’ Gail continued, her voice quiet now. ‘I got you into this and you haven’t complained once but it’s just, I’m floundering here Holly. I know you think I can get us through this but at the moment I just can’t see a way and shit, I probably shouldn’t tell you that. I’m trying to stay strong.’

‘You don’t have to be stoic for me,’ Holly rested her hand on Gail’s knee instinctively knowing touch would calm her. ‘We’re in this together. And I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t think of anyone I‘d rather be on the run with because, aside from anything else, your expertise at lying low actually means we do have a better chance of surviving this together.’

Gail pursed her lips, clearly skeptical. 

‘This ghost unit –who else is in it? Can you contact them or your handler at the Intelligence Service?’ Holly asked.

‘Kurt and I trained with four other operatives. We worked with them a couple of times on different operations but I don’t even know their real names or how to contact them. We used burner phones during the ops, and other than that our handler made all the arrangements.’

‘And your handler?’

‘Sam Achebe. If that was his real name. He hasn’t been answering his phone since Kurt and I returned from San Francisco.’

‘Do you think something’s happened to him?’

‘Yeah,’ Gail nodded heavily, ‘there was no reason to shut down this operation or cut us loose. Especially as we were making ground. That’s why I’m certain there’s a traitor in the Intelligence Service.’

‘So it’s possible the other four operatives are at risk?’

‘Yeah. I mean they weren’t as involved in this operation as Kurt and I but they had some knowledge of it, so yeah.’

‘Okay, here’s a plan based solely on the scientific method. Question. Who can we trust? Hypothesis. Oliver. We can’t conduct an experiment but we can use evidence to test the hypothesis. So, he told me not to give up on you and that he’d look out for me, said I should speak to him if Swarek or Anderson gave me any more grief. Plus he’s male, and it seems our corrupt cop is female. And deny it all you like; you’re basically his favorite. So based on that evidence, I think we need to go talk to Oliver.’

‘That’s your conclusion, huh,’ Gail said, clearly amused. ‘You are such a nerd, Holly Stewart. I’m not entirely sure I’d call that empirical data.’

‘Well?’

‘Okay, let's go to talk to Oliver.’

It was after 5 pm when Gail and Holly dropped the truck back at Blake’s house. Holly was feeling exhausted. Her body stiff from holding the gun; her fatigue the result not just of the intense focus in the woods, but of everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. 

Holly was fit, but nothing had prepared her for this life on the run. All she wanted to do right now was go home, run a long, long bath, order take-out and go to sleep in her own bed. About half way, on the journey back, she’d dozed, her head resting on Gail’s shoulder.

‘Okay nerd,’ Gail said once they pulled into Blake’s driveway. 

She nudged Holly gently. Holly woke, blinking, disorientated, and for the briefest of moments forgetting why she was here and what had indeed transpired since she popped out to pick up laksa for her dinner last night.

‘We'll go back into town and get something to eat. Then we’ll go see Oliver,’ Gail said. Holly couldn’t help but sense Gail was trying to sound sure and resolute.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It was dark when they arrived at Oliver’s address. A modest red brick house, just like Blake’s place. Except out front there were garden beds full of herbs and lavender, and several chimes hung from the verandah, clinking together in the evening breeze, their cadence strangely welcoming. 

When Oliver opened the door he looked from Gail to Holly and back again. Then, without saying a word, he stepped passed them and out onto the verandah, glancing rapidly up and down the street. Apparently satisfied, he ushered both of them through the door so they were standing in a corridor, which ran nearly the length of the house.

Holly could hear someone speaking on the phone in a room just off the corridor and assumed it was Celery or one of Oliver’s daughters. Another person they would inadvertently involve in this drama, she thought resignedly.

‘Oliver,’ Gail started but then stopped abruptly, and looked down the corridor. Holly followed her gaze. A woman was standing in a doorway, phone still in hand. Except it wasn’t Celery and it wasn’t any of Oliver’s kids. It was Traci.

‘Gail, Holly,’ she said advancing towards them, seeming not in the least surprised they were here in Oliver's house. Actually, quite the opposite. It was like Traci had been expecting them. She was wearing a blazer, but still Holly could make out the bulge of a gun holstered to her belt. ‘We were just talking about you.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters...
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and for reading. It is always so great to hear from you.
> 
> Apologies for mistakes. Sorry for the delay in updating - it's quite a long chapter so that might make up for it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It happened as if in slow motion. Gail took a step back, using one hand to pull Holly with her and the other to reach for the gun tucked in her waistband. Traci's smile faltered and she stopped advancing towards them, holding up her hands in a placatory gesture. Oliver stood stock-still; his brow so creased his forehead looked grooved. Holly couldn't understand why he seemed so disgruntled - Gail's refusal to capitulate shouldn't surprise him. Traci went to open her mouth but before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door. Just a light tap, tap, tap. Then it was like everything kicked into gear again with a sort of roar.

When Holly thought about it later, she couldn't recall any noise until that moment, until the tap, tap, tap on the door. The interlude between Traci's appearance and the knock was silent, or so it seemed in recollection. No footfalls as Traci came down the corridor, no calm reassurances from Oliver, not even the sound of her own breath, which Holly supposed would have been ragged. None of the usual sounds of a house: a faucet dripping, the tick of a clock or the clicking of a fan as it made its slow rotation. Not the rumble of cars in the street or the muted voices of passersby.

'What the fuck, Traci,' Gail said, her gun trained on the detective. She and Holly had their backs to the wall, with the door to one side of them, and Traci and Oliver on the other.

Holly hadn't observed Gail pulling out the gun. She'd seen her reach for it, yes, but Gail whipped the weapon out so fast and so stealthily it caught everyone off guard. It almost seemed like a sleight of hand. Crazily, inappropriately, because this was no time to be fanciful Holly chided herself, it brought to mind the sharpshooters of the Wild West. Annie Oakley, who could outshoot any man, and Pearl Hart, the Canadian outlaw who dressed as a male and robbed stage coaches, but left the passengers with enough money for food and a night's accommodation.

'Gail,' Traci said evenly, still holding her hands out, 'it's okay, I promise. Open the door. You'll see.'

'Back off, both of you,' Gail waved her gun to indicate Oliver should join Traci. He hesitated and then moved down the corridor, never taking his eyes off Gail. She placed herself so she was between Holly and her friends. No not friends, Holly decided, not anymore.

Holly cursed herself. It was her idea to seek Oliver's help. She was the one who convinced Gail that Oliver would of course be on their side, that he'd know what to do, and Gail, against her better judgment, had been persuaded. Trust no one, she'd told Holly in San Francisco and then Holly led her here. The dead weight of regret settled upon Holly, that feeling that was both physical ache and burden, making her slow and dulled. Regret for talking Gail into this, and regret for what may have been, what could have been, for the life she and Gail should have made together.

The knock sounded again – tap, tap, pause, tap. Repeated three times, a break between the last two taps, like a code. Then the door handle was turning, agonizingly slowly, and Holly watched mesmerized. Her stomach felt like it was somewhere around her knees. She had a sense, both sickening and dreadful, that once the door opened it would be all over for she and Gail. That whoever stood on the other side would decide their fate. She could feel the sweat on her upper lip and the rapid staccato of her heart beating so fast she was surprised she wasn't dizzy. Tachycardia. The elevated rate would stop her heart from efficiently pumping oxygen-rich blood through her body.

Then Gail pivoted her back against the wall, using her own body to shield Holly. It caught Holly unawares, winded her for a moment and then shocked her out of the haze to which she stupidly, but quite unconsciously, had begun to succumb.

'Not you Ollie,' Gail said more sad than angry.

'No not me darlin',' Oliver said gently, 'I always have your back. Always.'

Holly saw it now. Oliver was here to help. The creased brow didn't indicate displeasure but rather was an expression of concern, real, genuine concern, which was directed squarely at Gail. In fact Oliver had been looking at Gail like this ever since he'd pulled them into the house. In that instant Holly knew with absolute certainty they could trust him.

'Gail it's,' Holly started to say but Gail cut her off.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry I dragged you into this, I'm sorry we didn't have any more time. I wish I'd followed you to San Francisco.' It was said so softly Holly doubted Oliver or Traci could make out what Gail was saying. Which somehow made the gesture sweeter, more poignant. They were words for Holly only.

As the door flew open, Holly heard Gail pulling the slider on her Glock back and then forward to load a round into the chamber.

'Gail, wait,' Oliver said, starting forward.

Gail ignored him, intent only on the door, which rebounded against the wall with such force, it must have been kicked open. There, standing in the doorway, was Noelle, her expression fierce and a gun held out in front of her as if she were prepared to shoot up the place if needed.

'Oh Gail, thank god,' she said, holstering the gun, 'everyone's okay.'

'Noelle.' The way Gail said her name it was more like a question. Her voice still soft. 'Noelle,' she said again, lowering her gun a little and turning to Oliver and Traci. 'This isn't a setup? You guys aren't about to kill us.'

'No,' Traci shook her head, 'we're on your side, Gail. We want to help.'

'And at the moment, we're your only option,' Noelle added, 'we can't stay here. Anyone whose worked at 15 would probably figure out you'd come to Oliver if you were in trouble. I thought when you didn't answer the door I was too late. I've got a van outside. We need to go now.' Noelle was calm, authoritative but as she finished speaking there was an unmistakable urgency in her voice.

Holly came from behind Gail to stand next to her.

'Dr Stewart, Holly,' Noelle said, extending her hand to shake Holly's, 'You were Gail's plus one at my wedding. I'm with Internal Affairs now.'

Gail didn't say anything but looked from Noelle to Traci to Oliver and back again. It was a quick but keen scrutiny like she was evaluating, looking for clues as to their real intention. Finally, Gail blew out a breath.

'Okay,' she said, 'they're okay, Holly. We need to go with Noelle now.'

Gail, Holly and Traci were bundled in the rear of the van, with Noelle and Oliver up front. It was on the small side, intended for cargo meaning there were no seats in the back. The three of them sat on the hard metal tray, backs to the wall, and felt every bump in the road, every turn, every sudden stop. It was windowless in the back and completely dark, not even a crack of light from the joins around the rear doors, and the air was fusty.

It was disconcerting not seeing where they were being taken.Noelle appeared genuine, Holly reasoned, and yet it seemed such a leap of faith to trust her so readily. Gail must have sensed Holly's misgivings. She took her hand and squeezed it gently. Holly couldn't make out Gail's face in the gloom, but was grateful for the reassurance.

'How did you know we'd turn up at Oliver's?' Gail asked Traci.

'We didn't. We guessed something was up when Holly didn't show for work today – your mother suddenly taking ill just didn't sound right, Holly. So Oliver and I decided to go round to your apartment. The door was ajar and we discovered someone had gone through it.'

Holly tensed.

'Was it trashed?' Gail asked.

'No, but drawers and cupboards were open and clearly had been rifled through. They were searching for something. I'd guess it was a contact for you, Gail. An address or phone number perhaps. Holly, did you have a laptop or any other devices because it looks like there were removed.'

'Laptop and iPad. But neither of them had any details about Gail. Some photos taken years back when we were dating, but that's it,' Holly said, 'Traci, I know you didn't believe me but all this time I really didn't know how to contact Gail.'

'But you two were in contact.' It was like Traci wanted to confirm her instincts were right, that she had read Holly correctly when she suspected she'd seen Gail, and that she knew Gail well enough to know she'd seek Holly out.

'Yeah,' Gail answered, 'but it was me who always contacted Holly and I made her promise not to tell anyone.'

That seemed to appease Traci. In the dark Holly sensed, rather than saw, Traci nod her head.

'Who were you speaking to on the phone when we walked in?' Holly asked abruptly.

'Noelle. She called to say she was on her way over. Oliver suggested we meet at his house to discuss what to do next. He had the place to himself because Celery was going out for a couple of hours to perform a house cleansing ritual. Apparently, there are some unsettled spirits who need help crossing over.'

'Nothing like a Wiccan to nudge unwelcome guests into the afterlife,' Gail said wryly. Traci laughed but in a way that was fond.

Not long after the van came to a stop. From the change in traffic noise, Holly guessed they'd moved off a main road and down a quieter street, perhaps even a back alley.

Back at Oliver's house, Noelle had said she'd take them somewhere secure. 'No one knows about it. Only Oliver and me.'

'A safe-house,' Gail asked, 'there'll be a record of it somewhere, which means it can be traced.'

'No,' Oliver said, 'it's not official. It's off the books so to speak.' He tapped his nose.

'Why?' Gail wrinkled her forehead.

'It's a bolthole. Noelle and I set it up after Kurt was murdered. We had a feeling you might need it, darlin'.'

'How can you afford it?'

'I have a discretionary budget. I siphoned some of it for a month's rent. Which wasn't much. Don't get your hopes up girls. It's one room above a shop. That gun might come in handy keeping the rats at bay,' Noelle said.

'And why go to all that trouble just for me?' Gail asked. Holly could see what she was doing. Checking the story to make sure it added up.

'Someone had to,' Oliver said, 'seems like you've been hung out to dry. I don't like that,' he paused and looked around at Noelle and Traci, 'we don't like that, not in the least. You don't mess with one of our own. And now they're going after Dr Stewart too.'

'And who are they?' Gail quirked an eyebrow.

Oliver glanced at Noelle and frowned.

'I have my theories,' Noelle answered for him, 'we really don't have time to discuss this now. Let's get you to this bolthole and then we'll talk.'

….................................................................................................

Noelle wasn't wrong. The place was small. Faded linoleum, which looked like it had been recently scrubbed. A sink, bar fridge and two-plate burner in one corner. A mattress in the other; at least it had been made up. There was barely enough space next to the sink for the table and two chairs. A couch that looked like it had seen better days and a lamp were the only other furniture. Outside a neon sign flickering on and off intermittently bathed the room in pink light.

'It's not much,' Oliver half shrugged apologetically, 'we did our best to clean it up. Bathroom's through there.' He pointed to a door.

Gail walked over and pushed the door open, did a quick look around. Not that there was much to see. A shower recess just big enough for one, a tiny basin and the toilet wedged behind the door. Still, Holly got the impression Gail was staking out the place, checking to make sure no one was lurking, looking for any weak spots that could be used to gain access. Noelle must have sensed it too.

'It's secure. No one's going to guess you're hiding here. Only way in is by the back stairs,' she said.

'The landlord?' Gail asked.

'We're subletting from Arjun, the guy who runs the restaurant downstairs. He doesn't want the landlord to know – goes against the terms of his rental agreement – so he's not going to tell anyone,' Oliver said.

'Does he know you're police?'

'No. I just said I had a friend who needed a place for a bit,' Oliver shook his head. 'I might have implied you were running from an abusive partner so need to keep a low profile.'

'Smart,' Gail said, 'hopefully if anyone comes looking for me, Arjun will assume it's my vengeful ex and keep his mouth shut.'

'Yeah,' Oliver agreed, 'he actually promised that. Said guys who do that sort of thing aren't real men. Arjun seems alright.'

'Neighbors?'

They'd come in through the back, up a narrow set of stairs, which led to a landing with two doors. One of these doors led to the room they were now standing in.

'Arjun and his wife, Meera. They can also access their apartment through the restaurant, so they don't use these backstairs much. Anyway, I get the impression they work long hours.'

'Okay,' Gail said as if agreeing to something, even though nobody had asked a question. Oliver and Noelle nodded, something like relief on their faces. Holly realized Gail had indeed been answering a question, it was just unspoken, and the okay meant she'd go along with Noelle and Oliver's plan, at least for now.

There was a tap at the door, and Oliver went to it, opening it a crack before letting Traci in. She'd made a trip to the shops, saying Gail and Holly would need some supplies.

'You know what, tomorrow I'm gonna install a peephole in that door,' Oliver said.

Jesus, Holly thought, how long did he think they'd be holed up here?

Traci had brought groceries, which she started to stow in the cupboard above the sink. 'I just got a few things for your breakfast,' she said, 'plus toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo and soap.

'Granola,' Gail said, looking unimpressed, 'why does everyone always give me the healthy crap.' But her complaint died on her lips when Traci shoved a box of donuts at her. 'Okay, now we're talking Traci.' Gail started to reach into the box but Traci slapped her hand away.

'You'll spoil your dinner. I've ordered takeout from downstairs. It will be ready in ten minutes.'

Gail scowled.

'You're a brave woman, Traci, coming between Gail Peck and a donut,' Oliver teased, 'don't forget half an hour ago she was pointing a gun at you.'

Gail twisted her mouth and looked, well not exactly contrite Holly decided, but uncomfortable, like a kid squirming at the thought of being found out for doing something they knew to be wrong. 'Yeah, sorry about that,' she muttered.

'Truce,' Traci held out a beer, which Gail happily took.

'So who have you pissed off, Gail?' Noelle asked.

Traci had fetched the takeout. It was surprisingly good. Butter chicken, a creamy dhal made from black lentil and palak paneer with rice and naan bread. Fortunately, there were just enough plates and cutlery to go round.

'Beside you, Noelle,' Gail replied acerbically, and Noelle gave her a wry smile. 'You know me. It's quite a list.'

'We know we've got a bent cop,' Noelle began.

'Yep, a woman apparently,' Gail said, and then explained what they'd heard when they were hiding in Evelyn's apartment.

'That's why you suspected me,' Traci said.

Gail bit her lip.

'And Holly you've been suspicious of me from the start,' Traci said. She tried to keep it light, but there was an edge to her voice, a tightness.

'That was my fault,' Gail said hurriedly, 'I told Holly not to trust anyone, even you.'

Traci raised her eyebrows. Was she surprised Gail had lumped her in the not to be trusted basket. Disappointed, perhaps, Holly thought. No hurt, that was an expression of hurt, she decided.

'I know I kept pushing you,' Traci said to Holly, 'but that's because it was obvious you knew more. I was anxious if we didn't get to Gail, someone else would.'

'And don't worry Holly,' Noelle chimed in, 'Traci was the first person I checked and double-checked. As head of guns and gangs, she's in an ideal position to be on the take from gun runners.'

'Well, that's what I figured, and then there's your fiancé, Traci. Some one in CSIS doubled crossed Gail and Kurt,' Holly made a rueful face, 'can you see why I had reservations.'

'Yeah, I get it, but it's not Jordan. When he started looking into Kurt and Gail, he was called in by his supervisor and told a directive had come from above to stop digging around.'

'So any idea who issued the directive?' Gail asked.

'It must be whoever double-crossed you,' Traci said.

'Who in CSIS knew about the unit?' Oliver asked.

'We had a handler, Sam Achebe who reported to someone in CSIS. We were never given a name, just knew it was someone fairly senior. Everything was on a need to know basis. Aside from those two, no one else. Management knew the unit existed in theory but didn't want details. Makes it easier to deny knowledge of us if things go to hell.'

Traci sighed heavily and looked across at Noelle, who nodded. She was seated on the couch with Gail and Holly. Noelle and Oliver had taken the chairs at the small wooden table. Traci reached into her pocket and pulled out a photograph, which she silently handed to Gail.

'Sam Achebe,' Gail breathed.

Holly leaned in closer to take a look at the photo. It was taken at a crime scene. The woods again. Possibly even the same place Kurt's body was dumped. There was a gapping hole in the man's forehead where the bullet had exited.

'Shot at close range. Back of the head. Just like Kurt. Just like Dani Asbar,' Holly said.

Traci nodded. 'Sam Achebe is actually his real name. We found his body this morning. CSIS admits he worked for them and have chosen to conduct their own investigation into his murder.'

'So you've been cut out of the loop,' Holly stated.

'Yep,' Traci said.

'They're picking us off. One by one,' Gail said quietly. Holly took her hand and Gail tried to respond with a small smile but it came out more like a grimace.

'When you say they, who do you mean?' Noelle prompted.

'That method of execution is used by the survivalist group we were looking into. The Brotherhood of Canada. I saw one of them shoot Asbar. I was there when they shot Kurt – I didn't see it but I heard it,' Gail said heavily, looking down at her hands.

Oliver frowned. 'Oh darlin',' he said, so quietly the words were practically breathed out.

Gail looked up and catching Oliver's gaze bit her lip. Just as he was distressed by what she had endured, Gail hated to cause him worry.

'It's okay Ollie,' she said, and gave a wry smile, 'I'm here aren't I.' Then self-conscious at the turn the conversation had taken, she jumped up from the couch, flapping her hands about awkwardly and saying, 'who needs another beer?'

After fetching another beer, Gail explained what she knew. That the crazy survivalists were planning something big, a terrorist attack, possibly in Toronto, and a bent cop was supplying them with guns and explosives. That the traitor in CSIS sympathized with the survivalists and tipped them off about Kurt and Gail, and they, in turn, had probably informed the bent cop.

'Unless, of course, the CSIS traitor is also working with our bent cop,' Noelle said.

'It's a possibility,' Gail conceded.

'So the bent cop is the key,' Traci said, 'if we find the bent cop chances are they'll know the identity of the traitor and have some idea what the Brotherhood of Canada has planned.'

'Plus there's another very good reason to get to the bent cop,' Gail said, her dry tone belying the seriousness of what she was saying. 'It seems she or at least her henchmen are after Holly and me. Maybe she's agreed to take care of us.'

'Unless the traitor in CSIS is the she those thugs were referring to. Maybe our bent cop isn't female after all,' Oliver said.

'That's possible too,' Gail conceded, 'Traci, could we talk to Jordon's supervisor. Find out who gave the directive to back off?'

'I can ask Jordon, but he was basically told he'd lose his job if he kept looking into you and Kurt.'

'God, I didn't realize this was such a minefield' Noelle sighed, sounding frustrated. She pulled out a mug shot, which she passed to Gail. 'Do you know this guy?'

'Bram Johansson. Leader of the Brotherhood of Canada,' Gail said, 'wants to make the country white. He believes what he calls Canada's multicultural experiment has been a failure. He's a racist bigot, a misogynist, an arsonist and a murderer who gets a kick out of torturing his victims. An all round good guy.' Gail finished with a small, mirthless laugh.

'Swarek arrested him ten years ago on charges of abduction. The victim was a Sudanese man. The charges didn't stick. Apparently, the victim, who originally identified Johansson as the perpetrator, changed his statement. His memory became very hazy. Swarek decided not to pursue it and Johansson walked free,' Noelle said.

'Shit,' Gail exhaled a long breath, 'I mean Sam can be a dick but I wouldn't have thought he'd do something like that.'

'He hasn't always played by the rules,' Traci observed.

'Yeah, but he broke them to put the bad guys away, not help them,' Gail said.

'Look how he went after Holly to get to you, Gail,' Traci said.

'Yeah but so did Frankie,' Holly pointed out.

Oliver, who had been silent throughout this part of the discussion, suddenly spoke up. 'I don't want it to be Sammy,' he said somberly, 'Frankie. Well, I can see that. I feel like Sam got caught up in whatever story Frankie was spinning about Gail and Holly. He became hell bent on bringing you down Gail because he was adamant you were crooked. And, well,' Oliver hesitated.

'Yeah,' Gail prompted.

'Aww damn,' Oliver rubbed his face, 'Sam said he was angry Jerry had given up his life for someone who proved so worthless and who was prepared to betray us all. And you needed to pay.'

They were silent for a moment. Frozen. It was still raw for all four of them. Even after all these years. Holly sensed that. Knew too, even if Gail had never discussed Perick or told her about Jerry's heroism, that Gail was still visited by self-doubt, that she wrestled with the idea that her life was not a fair trade for Jerry's. Holly squeezed Gail's hand, and Gail looked at her with surprise. She didn't know of course that Holly had figured it out. Knew what Jerry had done. Holly wished she could tell Gail that both her and Jerry's lives were worthy and that the blame lay with Perick alone. Traci was the first to speak.

'Sam had no right,' she said vehemently, 'Gail, you know that's not true. I don't think that.'

Gail bit her lip again and nodded a little numbly. 'I put it out there that I was corrupt. Before I quit the force. Most people thought it anyway. It was part of my cover. Seems like I played right into Frankie's hands.'

'So you think Frankie is our bent cop?' Noelle asked.

'Makes sense. The way she went after Holly.'

'Except she's nasty and vindictive,' Traci said, 'and she didn't like the fact you dumped her. I got the feeling she's used to being the dumper not the dumpee. You know how everyone knows one another's business at 15. It was like Frankie felt she lost face.'

'So going after me and Holly is what? Revenge?'

'Could be.'

'Would Frankie go to such lengths just cause I rejected her.'

'Well, I'd say she's a narcissist, so maybe,' Holly said, 'narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement and don't take rejection well. It threatens their grandiose self-perception and can send them into a rage, which can be violent.'

'Great,' Gail sighed.

'Sam and Frankie were transferred out of Toronto. Neither were here when Kurt was killed,' Oliver said, 'doesn't that make both of them less likely to be our bent cop.'

'Frankie was here,' Holly said, 'I saw her at 15.'

'That day she practically shoulder charged you,' Traci said, shaking her head, a note of outrage in her voice, 'unbelievable.'

'Uhh, yeah,' Holly said, surprised by Traci's tone. When Frankie roughly shoved her, Traci had stood by and watched and had said nothing. Holly had thought she didn't give a damn. Actually worse, wondered whether Traci was out to get her too.

'She what?' Gail bristled.

'It doesn't matter. The fact is she was here when Kurt was murdered,' Holly said.

'And she's back for good,' Oliver leaned forward in his chair, 'I just got word today Frankie is being transferred back to 15. Apparently, her mother, who lives in Toronto, is sick and she needs to be near her.'

'But if she's our bent cop, why be so obvious about going after me?' Gail asked.

'Yeah. You'd think anyone who was bent would go out of their way not to draw attention to themselves,' Noelle agreed.

They spent a bit more time bandying names of female cops who might be corrupt but no one fit the bill like Frankie.

'I think I should take a look around her place tomorrow,' Gail said.

'What break-in?' Traci asked, not bothering to conceal her astonishment.

'Well, I hardly think I'm going to get an invitation to visit and the rest of you can't risk getting caught,' Gail drawled.

'It's probably a good idea to check out Frankie's apartment,' Noelle nodded slowly, 'not that I like it.'

'Yeah, can't say I like it either,' Oliver said, that look of concern back on his face.

'Well then, its probably best if I don't tell you any more until it's done,' Gail gave a smile that was all teeth, seemingly sweet but totally phony. 'Anyway, I know my way around Frankie's apartment. I can be in and out in no time.'

Holly didn't really want to think about why Gail was so familiar with Frankie's apartment. Gail had yet to tell her the extent of that relationship, except to make it very clear it had soured and fairly quickly too. Holly hated to admit it, especially as she didn't consider herself the jealous type, but she didn't like the thought of Gail sleeping with that brash, egotistical woman. She listened as the others argued back and forth about the wisdom of breaking into Frankie's apartment until, finally, Gail wore them down.

'I'm trained for this kind of shit now,' she shrugged. Holly could tell that revelation did nothing to reassure the three cops.

'Why just go after the bent cop? Why can't you pull in this Bram Johansson for questioning?' Holly asked.

'He's gone to ground. I checked,' Noelle said.

'Shit. That can only mean one thing,' Gail grimaced, 'keeping a low profile indicates they're getting ready to strike. That was the plan. Do nothing to attract attention in the lead up to the attack. I bet they've cleared out of the warehouse.'

'And you have no idea who or what they have targeted.'

'Something here in Toronto. A blow to authority, that's what Bram told us. Enough to bring the city to it's knees,' Gail said, 'he talked about destroying the gatekeepers and the enablers.'

'So government leaders?' Oliver suggested.

'Could be. We thought it would be an armed attack. Bram talked about storming a building and taking hostages. He rambled a lot though. Then the Brotherhood started stockpiling explosives and Kurt and I realized something bigger was planned. Before we could find out, Kurt was killed.'

Traci, Oliver and Noelle left soon after, with Traci promising to return in the morning with fresh clothes.

Holly felt like a student again as she lowered herself onto the mattress on the floor, pulling the duvet up and snuggling into Gail. Both of them were naked, because well who packed pajamas when they were on the run. The blind did little to block out the flicker of the neon sign outside. Strangely, its pink light made Gail's skin seem more alabaster, and Holly's duskier. Holly could hear someone from the restaurant emptying bottles into the dumpster outback in the alleyway and the steady hum of traffic from a little further away.

'Home sweet home,' Gail quipped, wrapping an arm around Holly and pulling her closer so Holly's head was resting on her chest, just below her chin, 'what do you think of our accommodation? Only the best for you.'

'Sometimes I'd fantasize about what it might be like to live with you,' Holly shifted to look up into Gail's face.

Gail quirked an eyebrow, clearly amused.

'What?' Holly said as Gail continued to smirk, 'oh I get it. You're going to make some smart comment.'

'I just thought if you were going to fantasize about me, it might involve something more lurid,' Gail teased.

'Oh, I don't know, Gail, I think domestic porn might be something of a sub-genre. You know the happy homemaker who strips off her apron and is ravished on the kitchen table.' It was Holly's turn to smirk.

'I don't think the table in this place is big enough for that kind of action.'

'True, though we have done it on a considerably smaller surface,' Holly said, raising her eyebrows suggestively

'Oh you mean, oh yes,' Gail said, coloring a little at the memory, 'trust Price to bust us.'

It was not long after they started dating. Andy had had a party – not big – just the usual gang from 15. Gail and Holly were having trouble keeping their hands to themselves, a fact that became increasingly obvious in the confines of the apartment. Nick and Chris and even Dov couldn't help their curious glances. Holly guessed they found Gail's renunciation of her heterosexuality sudden and perplexing but could tell their inquisitiveness was irritating Gail.

In that moment Gail pulled her up and off the couch and to the kitchen on the pretext of getting a drink. Next thing, they were in the guest bathroom. A narrow little room and Gail had pushed Holly up on the vanity and was kissing her hard while tugging at the zip of her jeans and then pressing a hand inside Holly's boy shorts. No prelude because the whole evening had been leading up to this. Furtive touches, a hand a little too high on a thigh, kisses stolen when they thought no one was looking, the too long gazing at one another until Holly felt lost to anything but Gail.

It wasn't a good idea, having sex in the bathroom. Holly knew that. She had to work with all the people partying outside, but the sensations Gail was eliciting not only with her lips and fingers but just through her proximity, by simply being Gail, were heady and too hard to resist. Soon Holly had her own hand in Gail's boy shorts, two fingers thrusting in and out and the heel of her palm hitting her clit, and Gail had buried her face in Holly's neck to muffle her final cries.

That's when the door opened, because goddammit in their haste they'd forgotten to lock it. A blast of music and the buzz of conversations from the party, and then an, 'oh my god, oh my god Gail.' It was Chloe who shrieked and slammed the door. 'Sorry' Gail had muttered into Holly's neck because yep they'd been found out. While Gail knew these people well, and they probably wouldn't be entirely surprised she'd engaged in a bathroom tryst, Holly did not. And from now on when she faced them at a crime scene or across the slab in the morgue, Holly would have to try really hard not to think about the fact that they knew she had fucked Gail in the bathroom at Andy's party.

'No one would have known if Price hadn't been so hysterical,' Gail twisted her mouth, 'like she didn't have sex with Dov in the bathroom at the Penny the very first time they met.'

'Really? I didn't know that.' Even as she spoke, Holly marveled at their conversation. Like they were just two regular people who led ordinary lives where they could reminisce and gossip about their friends and, it seemed, laugh at their own antics.

'You know, Holly, sometimes it feels like you turn me into a horny teenage boy,' Gail pretended to whine, clearly still thinking about the bathroom incident.

'God, I hope not,' Holly laughed, 'because eww I have zero interest in boys, teenage or otherwise.'

'Well, even if you weren't a card carrying lesbian,' Gail said, gesturing to her body with a sweep of her hand, 'all this hotness is hard to resist.'

It was true, but Holly wasn't going to give Gail that.

'If I wasn't gay when we met, you think you would have turned me,' Holly smirked in that lopsided way of hers.

'I don't think so, I know so,' Gail said, looking smug and sure and like she was quite delighted with the idea.

Which was probably true too, but Holly was definitely not giving Gail that either, so she kissed her, just lightly on the lips, pulling back before Gail had a chance to intensify it.

'You are insane. You know that right,' Holly said, deliberately echoing those words from the coat closet at Frank and Noelle's wedding all those years ago.

Gail laughed at that and kissed Holly, lingeringly, pulling on her lower lip, and then bringing a hand to the back of Holly's neck to bring her closer. Then the kiss did intensify and Holly knew one thing for sure, she'd never met anyone who could kiss like Gail Peck. Oh yes, you'd turn for kisses like this. You'd give up your ordered and respectable life and become a fugitive for kisses like this. People would walk half way around the world for kisses like this. Cross oceans and move mountains. Write sonnets and symphonies and make grand artistic gestures for kisses like this. After a bit, Holly and Gail stopped kissing and just held each other, not speaking.

'I get it Holly,' Gail said, breaking the silence, her tone serious, 'you know it's what I want too. A life with you. That's why we need to sort out this mess.'

Holly nodded.

'You know, before you, no one ever wanted a life with me. Nick thought he did and then he didn't.'

'Nick's an idiot,' Holly said forcefully making Gail chuckle, 'and I know exactly what I want.'

Gail leaned down and kissed her so softly and so sweetly that for just a moment Holly allowed herself to forget all about the people chasing them. She didn't think about being in hiding or the fact she and Gail were still not certain who to trust, even if they had put their faith in three people who appeared to have their interests at heart. Holly forgot all that and just allowed herself this moment - Gail's arm around her, their bodies pressed so close she couldn't help but thrill at the feel of Gail's skin against hers. Holly knew, without doubt, without any reservation, and with absolute certainty, that this, this was home.

….....................................................................................................................

Traci arrived in the morning with clothes. A pair of jeans each, some t-shirts, socks, and underwear.

'If you need anything else let me know,' she said.

'I miss my leather jacket,' Gail pouted, sounding like she was speaking about a long lost friend.

'Yeah, I don't think the budget will stretch to a new one of those,' Traci said.

'Where is your jacket anyway?' Holly asked.

'In an apartment Kurt and I rented. After Kurt was killed, I didn't want to go back in case it was being watched.'

'Sensible,' Traci said as she stood. 'Oliver messaged me to say Frankie's at work. The coast is clear if you still want to check out her apartment.'

Gail nodded. 'Yep, it's our only lead.'

An hour later Holly and Gail found themselves across the road from Frankie's apartment block. It was a converted warehouse in the Fashion District and Holly wondered how Frankie afforded it on a detective's salary.

'You stay out here and watch just in case Frankie shows,' Gail said.

'And what text you if I see her?' Holly said, 'with my phone which is in a trash can on the other side of the city.'

They'd already had a small argument about whether Holly should be there at all. Gail insisted this was something she should do on her own. Holly maintained she didn't want to sit around in their grimy little room above the restaurant waiting for Gail to return, worried she might have been nabbed by one of Frankie's henchmen or a crazy survivalist, worse still fearful she may never come back.

Besides Holly reasoned, she could act as a lookout for Gail and, thanks to Gail's tuition, she now knew how to use a gun. 'I've created a monster,' Gail had muttered under her breath, and when Holly, pretending not to have heard what she said, asked with a smirk, 'what was that', Gail had replied, 'Nothing. You know the gun is only for emergencies right?' Holly had nodded, 'Of course, but what if this turns into an emergency.' Finally, Holly had convinced Gail, although it was more a matter of wearing her down, and clearly Gail hadn't pictured Holly breaking into the apartment with her.

'Oh, right,' Gail now said sheepishly when Holly pointed out the obvious fact about the phone.

'I'm coming with you,' Holly said, 'we can be in and out much faster with two of us searching the place.'

'I guess,' Gail said, clearly not entirely happy with the arrangement.

'Well, I suppose I could just stay here and shoot Frankie if she shows up,' Holly deadpanned.

'Oh alright, alright. No need to be melodramatic, Holly,' Gail grumbled, but there was no bite to her words.

They slipped in the entrance door as one of the other residents was coming out. Gail didn't have any trouble picking the lock to Frankie's apartment. There was no alarm either. Another arrogant cop, just like Blake Peck, Gail said, never believe they'll be broken in to. Like being on the force makes them immune, she scoffed.

Frankie's apartment was three flights up. It was spacious and airy. High ceilings of exposed timber, white washed walls and large windows overlooking the street. An open plan living area with a modern kitchen led off to a bedroom and bathroom. Surprisingly it was warm and inviting, cozy even, which didn't gel with what Holly knew of Frankie. There was a large red rug in the living room, a comfortable-looking gray couch with red and black cushions, a solid oak coffee table, and a single armchair in a red, yellow and light green stripe which reminded Holly of a well-worn pair of flannel pajamas.

Gail took the kitchen while Holly searched the living room. There wasn't much to rummage through. Frankie was excessively neat. No clutter left lying about, no stray bills or stacks of papers. Gail suggested they try the bedroom. She started with the closet, while Holly took the bedside drawers.

'Oh,' she said pulling out one drawer to find a vibrator and various other sex toys.

'Did you find something?' Gail asked, coming over. She screwed up her face when she saw the contents of the drawer.

'I guess this is where the magic happened,' Holly said, looking around the bedroom. Like the living area, it was inviting. Tastefully decorated in neutral tones. A padded bedhead in an earthy brown with red buttons and a dark gray duvet shot through with red and black stripes. Bright prints on the wall.

'Huh,' Gail scoffed.

Holly shouldn't resent Frankie but she did. The detective had a reputation. She moved divisions constantly because she couldn't help seducing her co-workers and the consequent dramas were always bad for morale. 'Love and leave 'em' was her motto, or so she once told Rodney, much to the intern's acute embarrassment. It didn't seem to worry Frankie. She tried to hit on Holly numerous times but without success. That didn't faze her either or deter her from trying again or bragging to Holly about her conquests and how she gave women the best sex of their lives. In the old days, she would have been called a lady-killer. The fact that Gail had slept with Frankie left a bitter taste in Holly's mouth. At least, Gail had had the good sense to dump the detective, she thought.

'You didn't mind being another notch in Frankie Anderson's belt?' Holly said.

'Huh,' Gail said again and then looked directly at Holly, 'Frankie was all talk. Let's just say the reality didn't quite measure up.'

'Oh,' Holly said as it dawned on her what Gail was referring to, 'oh.'

'Yeah, oh. Frankie definitely had an inflated sense of her talents,' Gail said, 'and you have absolutely nothing to be jealous about. And I'm not just talking about the sex. You're better in every single way. In fact, there is no point making a comparison.'

'I'm not jealous,' Holly protested.

Gail said nothing, just quirked an eyebrow.

'Okay, maybe a little. Should we concentrate on this search now,' Holly flushed.

'Well, that's what we're here for,' Gail laughed and pulled Holly towards her, kissing her quickly on the lips.

It was then, just when Holly had relaxed a little, had forgotten to be alert, in fact, had distracted both she and Gail, that they heard the door to the apartment open. Then the jangle of keys being dropped in a dish on the kitchen table and the sound of footsteps coming towards the bedroom. Holly froze, even though Gail was pulling on her arm urging her to move, because really where were they to hide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has Frankie returned to the apartment? Would Gail really allow herself to be totally distracted or can she get them out of this situation?
> 
> I may not be able to update for a little while. Work is busy and then I‘m traveling for work so I can't make any promises. But leave a review - you know they inspire me :)


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> Thanks as always for reading, subscribing and bookmarking and leaving kudos and comments. It spurs me on to keep doing this. 
> 
> Apologies for mistakes.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

……………………………………………………………………

As Gail kept tugging on Holly’s arm, they heard the footsteps stop just before the bedroom door. Then the person retreated, their shoes echoing solidly on the wooden floor as they retraced their steps. 

Someone with a heavy tread, probably wearing boots with a low heel, Holly guessed, and then wondered at the fact that, of all the things she could focus on, it was the type of shoes the person was wearing. Not how on earth they were going to escape or what it would mean if Frankie, because presumably the person in the apartment was Frankie, discovered them. Holly could feel the gun in her pocket, its metal cold through the thin fabric of her shirt. Could she shoot Frankie if she threatened to kill them? Would Gail?

By the time they heard the refrigerator door being yanked open, Gail had dragged Holly with her under the bed. It was low to the ground and there was barely enough room for them to lie flat. Gail pulled the duvet down at the end of the bed so it almost touched the floor. At least that concealed them from anyone walking into the bedroom. They’d probably be discovered by anyone looking from the side.

Holly became aware she was breathing heavily. Gail squeezed her hand and moved her mouth to Holly’s ear, whispering so quietly Holly could barely make out the words. ‘It’s okay. We just need to be quiet.’ 

Holly tried to nod but found she couldn’t in the confined space. She was glad she wasn’t claustrophobic but then her nose began to tickle, and she saw the floor under the bed where they were lying was thick with dust. Clearly Frankie was not overly fastidious about keeping her house clean. Holly wrinkled her nose. She wished she could pinch it, but she and Gail were so wedged she couldn’t move her arms.

Then the footsteps were coming back towards the bedroom. Agitated this time. Holly forgot about her need to sneeze. Quite suddenly the duvet was ripped half off and dumped in a pile on the floor at the very end of the bed. There was the sound of a container being opened and then upturned. Liquid, Holly guessed, from the way it chugged out, and from the smell, milk. 

‘Fuck you, Frankie Anderson,’ the person, a woman, screeched, before moving back into the kitchen.

She was there for a while. Opening the fridge again and then some cupboards. Holly held her breath. She hadn't realized she was doing so until Gail whispered, ‘breathe, but quietly.’

When the woman returned, she had a tray. Holly could just make it out from her position under the bed. In fact, the woman placed it on the floor at the side of the bed right near Holly’s face but was so intent on her mission she didn't notice anything amiss. 

The tray contained an assortment of bottles and jars, a tub of butter and a cartoon of eggs. She cracked the eggs first. One by one. This was followed by a large bottle of oil, then the butter, which she scooped out with her hands and presumably smeared on the sheets. The honey came next and what appeared to be strawberry jam. Then a squat container of yogurt. The woman, who had been muttering obscenities about Frankie, now chortled as if the delight she was taking in destroying Frankie’s bed was too much to contain.

‘The alcohol,’ she shouted, gleefully, maniacally. You didn't need to be a psychiatrist to work out this was someone on the edge. She was out the bedroom door again and returned moments later. Bottle after bottle was upended onto the bed.

Silence then, followed by the sound of a phone. Frankie must have picked up, because the woman said, ‘Oh, hi Frankie. I've just emptied the entire contents of your fridge and all your alcohol onto your bed. It's made a beautiful mess,’ her voice suddenly controlled and deceptively sweet. A pause and then, ‘I'm deadly serious, Frankie.’ She rang off and marched back to the kitchen. 

Holly heard the front door slam. She and Gail waited a beat, then two and then three.

‘Fuck,’ Holly exhaled. She and Gail wriggled out from under the bed. The bed itself was a sticky, soggy mess. The mattress was ruined. Where the various liquids hadn’t seeped through the bed sheets they had formed little rivulets, which now threatened to drip onto the floor. Honey and eggshells were mashed together with egg yolk and butter and jam. A recipe for revenge, Holly mused. 

‘Man, someone is really pissed with Frankie,’ Gail said, shaking her head. ‘She even poured out the Rey Sol Anejo tequila. That's like 400 dollars a bottle. Frankie is going to be livid.’

‘A jilted lover,’ Holly said dryly, wondering if Gail had partaken of the 400 dollar tequila with Frankie. Almost guaranteed, she’d say.

‘Oh for sure. You know Frankie,’ Gail stopped and her eyes went wide, ‘oh, I mean you know her reputation.’ Gail flapped her hand about dismissively. ‘Listen, it’ll take Frankie at least twenty minutes to get here from the station, we’ve got time to look around some more.’

‘Seriously Gail. What if she’s out on a call just around the corner.’

‘Traci and Oliver promised to message us if she left the station. I just want to check her computer but you can wait downstairs if you want.’

‘Not a chance,’ Holly said.

‘I figured you'd say that,’ Gail sighed, ‘ Frankie’s laptop is in the living room.’

‘Won't we need a password? Don't tell me you’ve got some gizmo that can crack codes.’

‘Gizmo,’ Gail puffed out a laugh, ‘you are funny, Holly. No we’re going to use our smarts.’

‘Our?’ Holly arched an eyebrow.

‘Yep, brain power. Isn't that something you’re good at, nerd,’ Gail grinned. 

Holly narrowed her eyes. ‘Really, you think flattery is going to work for you,’ she said. Gail's impish smile suggested she thought it would. Holly shook her head in resignation.

In the living room, Gail sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her, indicating Holly should sit. She seemed awfully relaxed given Frankie, by Holly’s estimation, was now only fifteen minutes away. That's if they could trust Oliver and Traci to get a message to them if Frankie was on the move. What if they were distracted by work and she slipped out unnoticed. Almost immediately Gail’s phone pinged with a text from Traci saying Frankie had left the station in a hurry.

‘We need to think like Frankie,’ Gail said as she powered up the laptop.

‘Egomaniac.’

‘Hey, not a bad call,’ Gail chuckled, ‘how about sex machine.’ Gail began typing.

‘Was she?’

‘Was she what?’ Gail asked distractedly. She was furiously typing and, from where Holly was standing, it looked like she was trying out different combinations of numbers.

‘Was Frankie a sex machine,’ Holly clarified, hating that she asked and even more hating that she wanted to know.

‘Uh, no. We’ve been over that, Holly. It's how she likes to put herself out there. She always brags how good she is at sex.’

‘Lady lover,’ Holly suggested, ‘no lady killer.’

‘Ha. Yes,’ Gail typed in the words followed by some numbers. ‘Okay, not her birth date,’ she muttered to herself, ‘or her badge number.’

'The address of this place?' Holly said, finally joining Gail on the couch.

Gail looked up. ‘Apartment three, number one hundred and twenty one,’ she said as she typed in the numbers. ‘Damn. Not it.’

‘Try three, forward slash, one hundred and twenty one.’

'Bingo,’ Gail exclaimed excitedly, turning her head to kiss Holly briefly on the lips, ‘you’re a genius, nerd. I knew there was a reason I brought you along.’ The last bit was said with a smirk. 

Cheeky, Holly thought. It was clear from the smirk Gail hadn't forgotten she'd tried to leave Holly standing guard on the street while she searched Frankie’s apartment alone.

‘Ha. I'm not here for my sharp shooting skills then,’ Holly teased, ‘what are we looking for?’ She leaned over to get a better view of the computer.

‘Emails. Bank statements. We don’t have time to check anything else.’ Gail was already scrolling through the emails. ‘Damn, how much time have we actually got left.’

‘Ten minutes. Tops.’

‘Shit. Not enough.’

‘Could you copy the emails to a USB?’

‘Well, yeah. If I had one.’

‘Will this do,’ Holly pulled a USB out of her pocket and handed it to Gail.

‘Do you just randomly carry USB’s around with you,’ Gail scrunched up her face and, inserting the USB, started copying emails.

'I found it in Frankie's bedroom. In the drawer beneath the sex toys. I didn't have a chance to tell you before her ex turned up.’

‘God, that was crazy,’ Gail said, ‘and this computer is so slow.’

As Gail continued copying emails, Holly looked around the room. Her first impressions were right. It was tastefully decorated. She might even go so far as to say warm, even inviting. She wondered how often Gail had sat on this couch and maybe kissed Frankie or more. It wasn't like Holly didn't realize Gail had slept with other people. For all she knew Gail had, in their three years apart, had sex with any number of other woman. It was just the thought of Gail with Frankie she couldn't reconcile. 

‘I only came here a few times,’ Gail said, without looking up and seemingly once again reading Holly’s mind.

‘Oh, yes,’ Holly pushed her glasses back up her nose, and tried not to appear flustered. She needed to stay focused on the job at hand. ‘Copy anything Frankie’s backed up in the Cloud.’

'Beautiful and smart. How did I land someone like you Stewart,’ Gail grinned, ‘okay. I need a password for the bank.’

‘People have to remember so many passwords these days so they often use the same or a similar one. You know, an extra letter or numbers. What's the name of the bank?’

‘Royal Bank of Canada.’

‘Okay, try RBC Ladykiller three forward slash one hundred and twenty one.’

‘Oh my god, Holly you are in the wrong business,’ Gail clapped her hands.

‘Anything interesting?’

'Nah, it all looks fairly regular,' Gail scanned the page, 'forthrightly pay, police union fees, a monthly payment to a nursing home just out of town. It's straight down the line.’

‘Is it the only account?’

‘There’s a term deposit with ten thousand dollars. Frankie’s been working for a while, made detective young, it's possible she saved that much.’

‘Gail,’ Holly looked at her watch, ‘we’ve two minutes. We need to go.’

‘Right,’ Gail pulled out the USB. She snapped the laptop shut and placed it back on the coffee table, ‘let's get out of here.’

As Gail shut the door to the apartment, they could hear someone pounding up the stairs, their footfalls echoing in the stairwell. From the sound of it, they were as close as the landing below. Gail motioned to the stairs leading up to the next floor and Holly followed her, hoping the racket made by the person coming up the stairs would mask their movements. They took the stairs two at a time, reaching the next landing just as they heard Frankie pull out the keys to unlock her door.

Gail bit her lip hard. It made Holly realize how much of a close call it had been. She took Gail’s hand and squeezed, and Gail gave her a weak smile.

‘Is it safe to leave?’ Holly asked, wanting nothing more than to put as much distance between them and Frankie’s apartment as possible.

Gail considered for a moment. ‘She’ll probably clean up, so yeah I reckon we can go. Otherwise we could be stuck on this landing for a long time and we don't want to make any other residents suspicious.’

It felt glorious to be out on the street. Sun beating down on her face. A throng of people on the sidewalk. A steady flow of traffic. The drone of a plane overhead. A day unfolding, just like any other without fuss or drama. Holly took a gulp of air, grateful she could breathe easy again, for the first time conscious how constricted her chest had been while in the apartment. 

She still had the residue of the feeling that her stomach had literally dropped out. Holly knew the science behind that. She knew the brain and stomach were connected by over 100 million nerves, which sent signals back and forth. The Enteric Nervous System. It kept the brain and stomach in constant communication, like best buds. So if you were stressed or got scared or anxious or had a fright, you felt it in your stomach.

‘You okay?’ Gail asked. Holly nodded a little mechanically, but turned to look at Gail fully when she felt her lips against her cheek. ‘You were awesome, Holly. Nobody I'd rather break and enter with.’

It made Holly laugh. Despite the narrow escape. Despite the fact that a mere moment ago her heart had been in her mouth. Gail was always good at that. Amusing her. Right now Gail had that mischievous smile. The one she wore when she knew she was being cheeky, and when she was pushing it, like in this instance by making light of what had just happened. 

The word roguish popped into Holly’s head. It was one way to describe Gail that was for sure. Especially this incarnation of her – the very secret agent, who coolly took risks and had skills and muscles, and an extraordinary ability to vanish into thin air, which had made Holly think she was a chimera, a figment of her imagination, created to fill the very large hole Gail’s absence had left. But no, Gail was real, this situation was real, being on the run was real.

‘Partners in crime,’ Holly gave a little smile.

‘Yep,’ Gail agreed.

Back at the bedsit, they waited for Traci. Gail had messaged her to bring a laptop. Holly was standing at the little kitchen sink with a glass of water when she felt Gail slide two arms around her waist, resting her chin on Holly’s shoulder.

‘That was kinda scary. I'm sorry,’ she said softly.

‘No more sorries, remember,’ Holly murmured, placing her glass on the draining board and turning in Gail’s arms so she faced her. She smiled crookedly and Gail gave her an answering smile, tentative at first and then wider. Holly kissed her, slowly, idly, taking a plump lip between her own, savoring the feel, and then the taste of Gail, her breath sweet, the kiss delectable and yet possessing a familiarity that was delicious and welcome rather than well-worn. 

Every kiss had become a confirmation of their commitment to each other. Each one was a building block, giving their relationship substance and somehow making it real. That was in spite of, or perhaps even because of, this liminal state in which they were existing. Caught between the regular, structured world of before and a hoped for future together. A future in which some order would surely be restored to their lives. Or at the very least, they wouldn't have people coming after them with murderous intentions, Holly thought sardonically. Her musings must have played out in her expression, because Gail was pulling back and saying ‘what,’ with concern. Holly realized her lips had quirked downwards. 

‘Nothing,’ she shook her head and leaned in to kiss Gail again and again. 

No one ever said they osculated each other instead of kissed. It was no wonder, Holly decided. Osculate was such a functional sounding, even clinical word for something so delightful, so breathtaking and so charged with promise. Which could produce such singularly exquisite sensations. Well, at least when Gail kissed her. 

Then again science was full of words that made the wonderful seem prosaic and explanations that reduced a brilliant design of nature to its working parts. Yet, at the same time there was a beauty to science, particularly it's logic, which had drawn Holly to it in the first place. Sometimes the science Holly practiced was so extraordinary she did feel like something of an alchemist turning lead into gold. Sheesh, she was a nerd. Gail was right. 

‘You’re thinking too much,’ Gail leaned back again, tapping her own forehead with her fingers, ‘what is it, tell me Holly.’

Once again Holly shook her head and smiled. ‘Mostly how much I like kissing you.’ She looped her arms around Gail’s neck, bringing her closer to press their bodies together because yeah, what had happened back at Frankie’s apartment, that was scary, and this seemed as good a way as any of dealing with it. 

It was hard to say whose hands wandered first, but it wasn't long before Holly found herself pushed up against the sink and Gail had placed a leg between hers, and Holly couldn't help but expel a breath that was more moan than sigh. She felt Gail smile against her mouth and after a moment pull back to tug at the zip on Holly’s jeans, pushing her hand in to cup Holly’s center. Holly wanted nothing more than this. For Gail to fuck her right here, right now against the kitchen sink in this squalid little room, to experience oblivion even if only briefly, but it wasn't to be. There was a sharp rap on the door and then again and they heard Traci calling out, ‘hello.’

'Fuck,' Holly exhaled. Gail grinned at her clear frustration.

‘Later, nerd,’ she said, pulling her hand out of Holly’s jeans. She placed a finger in her mouth and sucked on it. The very finger which seconds ago had traced a path to Holly’s clit.

‘You don't play fair,’ Holly complained.

‘Never said I did,’ Gail smirked, clearly pleased with herself as she sashayed over to the door, the extra swing in her hip both triumphant and provocative.

Holly was aware the color in her cheeks was high. Traci looked at the two of them strangely. ‘Must have been hair-raising,’ she finally said and then stared directly at Holly, ‘you seem a little breathless

‘Um,’ Holly started. Could Traci tell what had been going on just before she knocked on the door? Surely not. Still, Holly felt herself becoming more flushed.

‘I mean the close-call at Frankie’s place.’

Yep, Traci knew. For sure. How did she do it? Traci was barely inside the door and she was putting two and two together. Gail was the same. Like they had some sixth sense. In truth it was probably a confluence of instinct and a finely honed understanding of human nature learnt from years on the job, and in Gail’s case at her mother’s knee. Of course, there were always the obvious clues, the telltale signs that immediately gave people away. Like the fact Holly was red in the face, and oh shit, her fly was undone. She turned away to zip it up, but not before catching Gail’s amused smirk. Oh, Holly would make her pay for that. She wasn't sure how, but she’d come up with a sweet revenge.

‘So clearly the woman in the apartment was pissed,’ Traci was saying.

‘It could have been worse,’ Gail said, ‘she could have put prawns in the curtain rails.’ 

Holly glanced at Traci. She had a look of incredulity that Holly was sure she herself was wearing.

‘What?’ Gail said when she noticed their expressions, ‘it’s a classic revenge move. Stinks for weeks and no one can work out where the stench is coming from. I thought of doing it to Nick but then,’ Gail shrugged, ‘he wasn’t worth the effort.’

'Remind me never to get on your bad side,’ Traci gave a wry smile. ‘So you didn't get a look at the woman in the apartment.’

Nah,’ Gail shook her head.

‘Just her boots – brown with a low heel - but she had a nasally voice,’ Holly said.

‘Yeah, I think I know who it is,’ Traci nodded, ‘Rennie Ferla. She transferred to 15 a few months back. Frankie homed in on her immediately, all charm and swagger and Ferla fell for it. Thing was, Frankie didn't tell her about the other women she was seeing.’

‘Sounds like Frankie,’ Gail said without a trace of bitterness, like it was a simple and incontrovertible fact, ‘I guess Ferla found out.’

‘Did Frankie sleep with other women when you two were together?’ Holly asked, not sure why she was so curious about this.

‘Probably,’ Gail shrugged, again sounding like she couldn't care less, ‘I never asked.’

‘She didn't sleep around,’ Traci said, ‘I think you actually got to her.’

‘Ha. As if. The woman has a heart of stone,’ Gail arched an eyebrow to indicate her skepticism.

‘It might explain why she’s so determined to come after you,’ Holly ventured, ‘you know a woman scorned.’

‘Yeah, she really didn't like that you dumped her,’ Traci agreed.

‘That was probably cause it was a first for her,’ Gail said, ‘let's take a look at this USB. Maybe we’ll find out exactly what Frankie’s up to.

The emails were unremarkable. Bills mainly, several from the nursing home updating Frankie on her mother’s condition, some spam and a couple from Sam in Pickle Lake asking how she was finding Porcupine and speculating whether Gail was behind their sudden transfer. Gail chuckled.

‘That was you. I thought so,’ Traci said. Gail feigned innocence but said nothing to deny it.

‘Wait, listen to the rest of what Sam says,’ Holly said, her voice rising just a little. The three of them were seated on the couch. Gail was in the middle with the laptop, scrolling through the emails. As she continued reading, Holly leaned in next to Gail, ‘it's proof the Peck’s influence is still strong and has spread beyond the force. The Superintendent was right. And now we’re out of the way, no one will stop them.’

They were silent for a moment as they digested the information. Gail worried at her lip and then drawled, 'Who knew Sammy could string so many words together.’

‘Gail,’ Holly said a touch warningly, placing a hand on her arm.

‘Alright, alright. Does Sam mean Elaine when he refers to the Superintendent? And clearly he and Frankie and maybe even my mom think I'm caught up in some big corruption network.’

'I thought the investigators were satisfied only Steve and your parents were involved,’ Holly said.

‘Unless they were the fall guys,’ Gail mused.

‘And your mom took the biggest fall of all for Steve and your father.’

Gail started to nod but then stopped herself when she noticed Traci was staring straight ahead. Traci hadn't said anything, Holly realized, not since she’d read out the email.

‘Trac, you don't believe,’ Gail started, her voice soft, and Holly could hear the hurt in it.

‘No,’ Traci sighed and stood up from the couch. She walked a few paces and then turned to face Gail and Holly, ‘I just thought we were done with the Peck corruption.’

‘You and me both,’ Gail replied bitterly.

‘Maybe it was just conjecture,’ Holly suggested, ‘maybe Sam doesn't know what he’s talking about. Did Frankie reply?’

‘If she did, it's not in the sent box. In fact there weren't many emails in that folder at all. Maybe she set her preferences to delete the emails after a certain number of days.’

‘What about the files you copied? Is there anything in there?’ Traci asked.

‘Not a lot. Tax returns. That's about it.’

‘What about the stuff Frankie backed up to the cloud?’ Holly asked.

‘Two files,’ Gail said, clicking on one. ‘Shit,’ she exclaimed.

‘What?’ Holly and Traci asked in unison.

‘It's the bank records for my cousin, Blake Peck.’

‘Yeah?’ Traci said, ‘does it look like he’s on the take.’

‘No. Nothing out of the ordinary. No large deposits, but what is strange is this account in my cousin Jonathan’s name. There is over a million in it.’

‘Who is Jonathan? He’s not on the force,‘ Traci said.

‘Blake’s twin. He’s not on the force and he shouldn't have a bank account because he’s so severely disabled he’s been in an institution since birth.’

‘So what's he doing with a million dollars and why does Frankie have his and Blake’s bank records?’ Traci asked.

‘Is it possible she has stumbled onto something, that she and Sam were actually trying to expose corruption,’ Holly suggested, not quite believing what she was saying. Frankie an honest cop on their side, well sort of. It made sense that Frankie would aggressively pursue both she and Gail if she believed they were mixed up in the corruption.

‘Well, whatever we may think about her on a personal level, up to now she’s always been a good cop,’ Traci said, ‘no complaints against her and an impressive case clearance.’

‘What's in the other file?’ Holly asked. 

Gail moved the cursor to open it up. ‘It's my mother’s service record,’ she said quietly, ‘does that mean she knows about this?’

Holly wasn’t sure what to say. It seemed that Elaine was very much involved but to what extent wasn’t clear. She couldn’t tell if Gail was looking for reassurance about her mother or simply nutting out the puzzle.

‘Any chance Blake is the bent cop you were after Gail?’ Holly finally said, ‘I know his place was fairly ordinary but he would have needed money for the gun collection and all those cars.’

‘Yeah. I think there is a very good chance. Though it’s weird Frankie has Elaine’s service record. Either Elaine tipped Frankie off or she’s up to her neck in this. Maybe she’s even more corrupt than she was pretending to be. Traci, we need to do some more digging. We need Dov.’

Holly smiled at that. Something had shifted in Gail in the past twenty-four hours. Perhaps it was Holly’s urging, or maybe the willingness of Oliver and Traci and Noelle to put themselves on the line for Gail, but she seemed more prepared to have faith in her old friends, to acknowledge she and Holly couldn't tackle this alone.

Traci nodded in agreement. ‘You’re willing to trust Dov?’’

‘No one better at following a paper trail so to speak.’

Gail had mentioned to Holly that Dov had done a course in forensic accounting and that his job was very much focused on data analysis. ‘Because he’s a nerd like you,’ Gail had joked, ‘just not as much of a brainiac.’

‘Okay. Dov’s at the station. Why don't I go back and speak to him? See if he’ll come onboard,’ Traci suggested.

‘He will,’ Gail said with great certainty, ‘just don't let him tell the Princess.’

‘You don't trust Chloe?’ Traci asked.

‘It's not that. She’s got a big mouth and she’s friends with Andy and she might let something slip and then Swarek will find out.’

‘I'm friends with Andy,’ Traci said, raising her eyebrows.

‘We all have our flaws,’ Gail sassed but Traci just looked amused. ‘One more thing Trac, you need to speak to my mother.’

‘Yeah, I figured as much.’

.......................................................................................

It was after 5 pm when Traci finally left. With the drama around breaking into Frankie’s apartment, Gail and Holly hadn't eaten since breakfast.

‘Early dinner?’ Holly suggested.

‘Yeah, but we don't want anyone to see us.’

‘I know a vegetarian café about four blocks from here. Great food. Dim lighting and little booths along one side we can hide in. I doubt any of the thugs looking for us would patronize it.’

At that moment, Gail’s stomach rumbled very loudly.

‘Is that my answer?’ Holly teased.

‘Yep. Let's do it.’

The food was good. Holly hadn't realized how hungry she was. Gail, of course, didn't hold back either.

‘Who knew this healthy shit would taste so good,’ she said, making Holly laugh.

They allowed themselves to relax, not talking about the predicament they were in, but swapping childhood stories. Holly driving most of her teachers crazy because she always wanted to know why and how Gail spent a good deal of her time in the principal’s office because of her snark.

‘I wished I'd known you then,’ Holly ran a thumb across Gail’s wrist, ‘mini firebrand Gail.’

'Nah, you don't. My mother probably would have hired you to babysit me. You being all sensible and upstanding, and then we would never have happened.’

‘I don't know, I kinda think we were inevitable. Anyway, I wasn't that upstanding,’ Holly protested.

‘Yeah?’ Gail quirked an eyebrow, ‘did you take a torch to bed and keep reading under the covers after lights out.’

‘No,’ Holly smiled crookedly, ‘but clearly you did.’ Gail blushed and sort of jiggled irritably, like she could shake away the giveaway signs. Holly wanted to tell her not to bother – that she was too adorably transparent.

'What made you such a rebel then, Holly?’ Gail challenged, as much to steer the focus away from her own nerdy behavior as to get an answer out of Holly.

‘I had sex with the daughter of my dad’s boss when I was fourteen.’

‘Why, Holly you reprobate! Okay, now this is something I want to hear about.’

‘It was at a party at their house. Samantha and I were the only kids there. She snuck some beer from the kitchen and we went up to her room.’

‘And?’ Gail cocked an eyebrow.

‘And it was fumbled and hurried and,’ Holly paused.

‘And?’

‘And it confirmed everything I'd been thinking about myself.’

‘Yeah. So why did you have boyfriends in high school?’

‘To be sure. You know, I'm a scientist after all.’

'So the boyfriends were part of a controlled experiment?’ Gail asked, clearly not buying this explanation.

‘It did prove sex with boys wasn’t as good.’

‘Amen to that,’ Gail laughed.

‘But I guess I was trying to be normal,’ Holly formed her fingers into quotation marks as she said the word normal, ‘you know, I was already teased for being a nerd and I was gawky then. Grew too fast. It seemed easier to fit in, conform, although in the end it just made me feel more miserable.’

'I wish I had known you then,’ Gail said vehemently, ‘those people who teased you, I would have kicked their asses.’

‘Yeah, you with your noodle arms,’ Holly teased again, but her smile was fond.

‘Okay, would you have preferred me to shoot them,’ Gail said dryly.

‘Oh yeah because shooting people always works out so well.’

‘What happened to Samantha?’ Gail asked.

‘She’s a high-powered lawyer. Here in Toronto. I run into her occasionally. Have a drink. Catch up. She has a wife and two kids.’

‘Hmmph,’ Gail said crossing her arms against her chest. Holly couldn't tell what the ‘hmmph’ was in response to. The fact that she still sometimes had contact with the first girl she had sex with, or that Samantha had made a successful life with a partner and a family and a career, which clearly at this moment was completely out of her and Gail’s reach. Or was it Samantha’s profession? Surely Gail wasn't still hung up on Lisa’s blue-collar comment, bitchy and thoughtless as it was.

They left the café soon after. Gail insisted on stocking up on cake, taking a slice of each that was on display.

‘Sweet tooth,’ the waitress smiled.

‘Unbelievably,’ Holly said, putting an arm around Gail’s shoulders as Gail pretended to pout.

It was busy out on the street. People were coming home from work and others heading out to dinner, to pick up takeout or last minute groceries. The sidewalk was jammed, the road bumper to bumper with cars, everyone impatient to make the commute home.

Their meal and conversation had been so carefree that stepping outside they forgot to be careful. Just for an instant. Gail was just pulling up her hoodie and about to tell Holly to do so too, when she heard her name. ‘Peck,’ came the shout, loud, aggressive.

She looked sideways and saw a man called Judd standing on the sidewalk about five shops down, mean eyes, mean mouth and a gun in his hands. A member of the Brotherhood of Canada.

‘Run,’ she said to Holly and was relieved when Holly didn't hesitate. It meant Holly was just ahead of her when Gail heard the gunshot. Holly was a faster runner after all, not that Gail had ever quite conceded that. Holly made a little noise like an ‘oomph’ and then crumpled to one side. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve left Holly (and Gail) in both my fics in mortal danger. I didn’t mean to be so evil but it just happened. Let me know what you think!


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…..
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting, kudos, bookmarking and subscribing. 
> 
> Yes, I was a little evil leaving the last chapter like that but what can I do? I love a cliffhanger.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

As Holly fell she felt herself being grabbed around the waist. The pain in her left arm was searing. She doubted it was anything more than a flesh wound but still the impact of the bullet knocked her off balance and for a moment she felt so dizzy she was afraid she might faint. That's when Gail caught her and pulled her down so they were crouched on the sidewalk. Make yourself as small a target as possible. Oliver’s words. Not long after Holly came back to Toronto, he had briefed the forensics team on what to do if a shooter got loose in the morgue. Right now, though, Holly’s instinct was to flee. 

People were screaming and running in different directions but mainly towards them and away from the shooter. Pandemonium. That was the only way you could describe it. On the plus side, it provided some cover, but that wouldn't stop the person with the gun coming after them. Surely if they stayed here they were sitting ducks.

Holly saw Gail reach for the gun tucked in the waistband of her jeans. She pulled it out and shoved it into the pocket of her hoodie. Easier to access there. Probably sensible to conceal it though, Holly reasoned. Gail wouldn't want to add to the panic by waving a gun around. In any case, it was unlikely she’d use it unless she had to. Unless the gunman, or it could be a gun woman Holly supposed, was standing right in front of them. The chances of hitting a bystander were too great.

Gail was scanning the area immediately in front of them, her expression more serious than Holly had ever seen it. She understood now what was meant when people said a face narrowed in concentration because that's exactly how Gail looked. Holly guessed she was trying to locate the shooter, although she’d rather Gail was searching for an escape route. 

She looked down at her upper arm. A dark stain on her sleeve was spreading in an ever-widening circle from the bullet hole at its centre. In the first instance, when the bullet struck her, her arm had felt numb. This was followed by a burning sensation so excruciating it made her nauseous. That made sense. Projectiles such as bullets could penetrate arteries and veins without immediately alerting your muscles. There was a blip before the rest of the body caught up. But now, now it was like nothing Holly had experienced before. 

Already she could feel beads of sweet on her forehead. It was possible she was more seriously wounded than she thought. Flesh wounds could kill. Holly knew that. How many autopsies had she performed on victims with seemingly superficial wounds where the bullet had hit an artery and caused massive haemorrhaging. If this bullet had ruptured a peripheral or junctional artery she could be dead in minutes. She needed something to apply pressure. Stop the bleeding. There was nothing, of course, out here in the street, and no time to make do. In the absence of anything else, Holly clamped the hand from her good arm over the wound.

The sudden movement brought Gail’s focus back to her.’You’ve been shot,’ Gail said, and though she spoke quietly, her eyes widened in alarm. Holly nodded, and then grimaced as the motion caused another wave of nausea to roll over her. 

‘Come on, we need to get out of here. Can you stand? I can support you,’ Gail said, her voice low and calm. It reassured Holly, this voice. It was the one she used on Evelyn or or whatever her name was. Carla. That’s right. The Officer Peck voice. The one that made you think everything was going to be alright.

‘Yeah,’ Holly hissed between gritted teeth.

They were right by the curb. In fact, only half metre away from an intersection, but the steady flow of peak hour traffic wasn't letting up. Clearly none of the drivers had noticed the commotion on the sidewalk. Gail stood, easing Holly up with her. 

Holly flinched as they heard the second shot. More screams followed; a child wailing for his mother; someone calling for calm. Then above the noise, a voice could be heard saying, ‘man, she shot him.’ And above that another voice, female, loud and commanding. It cut through the cacophony. ‘Police,’ she said, ‘stand back.’ It was Frankie. Holly was certain of it.

‘We have to go,’ Gail said urgently.

As if on cue, a car swerved across the traffic and came to a stop right next to where they stood on the curb; its trajectory across three lanes aided by a momentary break in the traffic and the small size of the car itself. A metallic blue Nissan Micra. Either the driver was hellbent on snagging a parking space or was after them. Was that possible? Had Frankie tracked them here, Holly wondered, and if so, how many people did she have closing in on them.

‘What the hell?’ Gail said, but didn't budge from the curb. Holly realized why a second later when the driver of the car leaned across to push open the back door.

‘Get in,’ Evelyn, well actually Carla, said, ‘quickly.’

Then Gail was bundling Holly into the back, and Holly was gasping with pain, and Gail was saying ‘sorry, sorry, sorry,’ over and over, and Evelyn was taking off in a sequel of the tires that was surprisingly loud for such a small car.

Holly fell back against the seat and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was go to sleep, which was not a good sign. It wouldn't help to lose consciousness right now. The back seat was tiny - barely enough room for both she and Gail. Holly was sprawled across much of it but was too weak to move to make space for Gail, who in any case was perched, with her knees on the seat, leaning over Holly.

‘Shit, shit, shit,’ Gail said as she surveyed the blood which was oozing at a much faster rate, particularly as in the flurry to get into the car Holly had removed her hand from the wound.

‘You need to put pressure on it,’ Holly said.

‘Yeah, I know. Staunch the bleeding,’ Gail replied, ‘have you got a clean towel in here Carla?’

‘In my gym bag. Freshly washed. On the floor in the back,’ Carla said.

Trust Gail to remember Evelyn’s real name, Holly thought to herself and then realized that, here at this moment with blood covering most of her upper arm, it was very strange to be preoccupied with such an observation. She was beginning to feel a little light-headed. Maybe that was the reason for her distractedness.

Gail, meantime, retrieved the towel – white of course – and pressed it to the wound. Within moments it was stained bright red.

‘How bad is it?’ Gail asked. ‘Could the bullet have hit an artery?’

‘The blood’s oozing,’ Holly said, her breath now laboured, ‘it means it's hit a vein. Arteries gush. Still a shitload of blood.’

‘I'm going to raise your arm,’ Gail said, ‘is that okay?’ Holly nodded. Elevating the wound above the heart would help stem the flow of blood. Of course Gail would know what to do. She was, until recently, a police officer and first aid training was mandatory in the Academy.

‘Where should I take you?’ Carla asked, ‘hospital?’

Holly looked at Gail. She could tell she was trying for a neutral face but in reality she was pushing down worry in order to coolly assess what was best for Holly.

‘Hospital?’ Gail asked.

‘Too risky, isn't it?’ Holly said, wincing again as she spoke, the pain now consuming.

‘Yeah, but,’ Gail began.

‘Take me to Lisa’s. She can stitch me up.’

Lisa was home, waiting in her doorway with a displeased expression. Gail had buzzed from downstairs, saying Holly needed her help. When Lisa saw Holly – pale faced, a sheen of perspiration on her forehead and supported by Gail – her expression turned thunderous.

‘You promised to keep her safe,’ Lisa said, ‘what have you done to her.’

‘Gun shot wound,’ Gail said, ‘can we come in or not, Lisa?’ The last bit said belligerently. 

Holly hoped Gail and Lisa weren't about to get into an argument. She barely had the energy to stand anymore. She was leaning heavily on Gail, who had one arm around her waist. Holly had an oversized rain jacket draped over her shoulders. Carla had offered it up to conceal the blood as they made their way from the car to the apartment. Good thinking, Gail had said, don't want any good Samaritans calling triple 9. It meant Lisa hadn't immediately noticed Holly’s wound.

‘Jesus, why didn't you say,’ Lisa hissed, ‘get inside.’

Once in the apartment, Lisa directed them to the spare room while she went to get her suture kit. Gail removed the rain jacket, and then she and Carla gently helped Holly onto the bed. When Lisa reappeared she had surgical gloves on. She didn’t say anything but placed her fingers on Holly’s wrist on her good arm to check her pulse.

‘Weak,’ she said, ‘but not too bad considering.’

If the blood soaked towel alarmed her, Lisa didn't show it. She gently removed it from Holly’s arm and then, taking a pair of scissors, cut open the sleeve of her hoodie. Well, actually Evelyn’s hoodie, Holly realized, wondering if she should apologise for damaging it, but deciding it was probably unnecessary. Evelyn most likely never thought she’d see Holly again, let alone get her clothing back. 

‘I’m getting blood on your sheets,’ Holly said apologetically, knowing how fastidious Lisa was about her home.

‘Yeah, so what,’ Lisa said, ‘I can buy new ones.’

Lisa took her time, carefully examining the wound, looking for all appearances calm and unworried. That was what made Lisa a good surgeon - the poker face and her detachment. Holly couldn't think of a better word, but it was that ability to coolly assess the situation. She would have made a good trauma surgeon. In fact, had a number of offers when it came time to choose a residency but preferred the glamour and money in plastics. 

Lisa loved nothing more than to drop the names of celebrities who came to see her. She could be insufferable during movies. On more than one occasion, when an actress appeared on screen, she had nudged Holly in the ribs and said, ‘see those boobs, they’re mine. That's my work. What do you think?’ Without waiting for Holly’s response, she would continue,‘not bad. In fact, I would say as close to perfection as you could get.’ 

It was like Lisa had a good and a bad angel on her shoulder. The good one made her volunteer for Beyond Borders, a charity that bought kids from third world countries to Canada for surgery to repair disfigurement caused by cancer, trauma, and birth defects. The bad one bragged and bitched and was an inveterate social climber whose grasp on ordinary life was about as real as the fake boobs Lisa constructed. Most of the time Lisa was somewhere in between the two but she’d always been willing to put herself on the line for Holly. It was this loyalty that made Holly tolerate, sometimes barely, the rest of the bullshit.

‘Good, the blood seems to have stopped,’ Lisa said.

‘I think it only hit a vein,’ Holly said.

‘It was oozing not gushing,’ Gail supplied.

‘Uh huh,’ Lisa said as if completely disinterested in what Gail had to say. ‘You,’ she turned to Carla, ‘go get a glass of water from the kitchen.’ It was like Carla was one of Lisa’s scrub nurses, although surely Lisa would be less autocratic with the staff in the operating theatre, Holly reasoned. Then again, maybe not.

‘Who the fuck is she,’ Lisa asked as Carla meekly scuttled from the room.

‘Evelyn,’ Holly said, then screwed up her face in confusion, ‘no Carla. She was Evelyn but really she’s Carla.’

‘Okay, not making a lot of sense there Holly. Was Holly concussed?’ Lisa turned to Gail.

‘No. It's Holly’s neighbor. There was some confusion about her name. Holly knew her as Evelyn for awhile but it is Carla.’

Lisa didn't say anything but looked at Gail irritably and then abruptly turned back to Holly. ‘So you don't feel disorientated. Dizzy?’ she asked.

‘No Lisa. I'm not in shock. Just a little weak.’

Carla returned with the water and stood hovering behind Gail, her uncertainty rolling off her. If she were a little mouse in a cartoon she would have two shaky motion lines drawn along each side of her body to indicate fear, Holly decided, picturing Carla quaking with a mouse tail and little mouse ears and pointy little mouse whiskers.

‘Here,’ Lisa produced a plastic bottle of OxyContin and shook out two tablets. ‘Oxy. Open wide,’ she told Holly, who did as instructed, flattening her tongue so Lisa could place a tablet there. ‘Water,’ she said impatiently and Carla rushed forward and, holding the glass to Holly’s lips, helped her take a mouthful of the liquid to swallow the tablet.

Lisa placed the second tablet on Holly’s tongue and Carla again raised the glass. Holly choked a little on the water but managed to swallow the tablet. Lisa always kept a well-stocked first aid cabinet. In fact, she constantly swiped things from the supply room at the hospital – bandages, gauze and saline solution and even meds when she could manage it - because ‘well just in case,’ she’d told Holly. ‘Just in case what,’ Holly would invariably jest, ‘the zombie apocalypse? Swine flu? The nuclear winter?’ Never in her wildest dreams had Holly imagined ‘just in case’ would involve performing an emergency procedure on her.

‘I’ll clean the wound while the meds take effect. Then I’ll suture it. Good thing you came to me, Holly. I doubt there will be even the faintest scar,‘ Lisa said.

Holly managed a weak smile. She half expected Gail to say something snarky but there was silence. Come to think of it, Gail had said very little since her outburst at the door when they arrived. Looking at her now, Holly saw Gail’s face was ashen. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, reaching out her hand, but Gail, who had retreated a few paces back from the bed to let Lisa treat Holly, was too far away.

‘Okay. Okay,’ Lisa’s voice was rising, ‘what part of your girlfriend dragging you into this insanity where you get threatened, chased and shot is okay. Your girlfriend may have a death wish, but I won't stand by and watch you be dragged down with her.’

‘Lisa,’ Holly started, the word more sigh than entreaty. She really was too tired and in too much pain to deal with this. Actually, the pain had decreased a little so the drugs must be starting to take effect. Still, Holly just wanted to be stitched up and then left alone to lie down and sleep.

‘Girlfriend?’ Carla asked timidly.

Oh just great, thought Holly. Gail was convinced the reason Carla was so willing to assist them, no questions asked, was because she had a crush on Holly and now Lisa had gone and blown that.

‘Yeah, girlfriend,’ Lisa said, ‘what do you think of that, Evelyn. My super smart friend, always top of the class smart friend who could have her pick of girlfriends chooses Gail.’

‘It's Carla,’ the woman in question said quietly.

‘What,’ Lisa said, not catching on.

‘My name is Carla, she said, the words spoken louder this time.

‘Lisa,’ Gail stepped in, ’this is not helping Holly right now. Can you beat me up later? Right now we need to focus on Holly.’

‘Lisa’s just worried. She gets bitchy when she’s worried,’ Holly explained to Gail. It was one of the reasons Lisa had behaved the way she did when she met Gail that ill-fated night at the Penny. She was worried Holly had fallen too hard, too fast, which of course Holly had. No question about that.

Gail grunted noncommittally and Holly once more reached for her hand, this time finding it. That felt better. Like she was grounded and safe. She smiled up at Gail but her lips felt a little loose, like she wasn't completely in control of them, and she was certain the smile was goofy. Yep, the drugs must be kicking in.

‘And Gail’s okay,’ Carla said, sounding a lot less timid, in fact quite sure.

……………………………..

Holly knew she’d been shot but right now she didn't care about that. She felt so very relaxed. In fact, if she hadn't been lying propped up on the bed, she might have thought she was floating. Her limbs felt delightfully light and sort of humming with contentment. Could limbs be contented? That made Holly pause. Then she decided it didn't matter because everything was dandy, indeed quite blissful, and limbs could be contented if they wanted.

‘You are so beautiful,’ Holly said, stroking the side of Gail’s face, her hand coming to rest under Gail’s chin. She had insisted Gail come lie next to her on the bed. ‘So very beautiful,’ she continued, ‘when I saw you in the woods you took my breath away. Literally.’

‘That might have been the sarcasm. I was kinda rude.’

Holly tilted her head to one side and smiled. ‘But it made you so intriguing and you were so beautiful and so very straight and wow did you wear that uniform well.’ Holly removed her hand from Gail’s chin and pretended to fan herself.

‘You were checking me out in my uniform. I never picked you for a badge bunny, Holly,’ Gail teased.

‘No, No! No one else can wear that uniform like you. You looked amazing, particularly your ass.’

‘My ass,’ Gail suppressed a laugh.

‘Yep and I knew just by looking at you you’d be great in bed,’ Holly said solemnly, and then added cheerfully, ‘was I right or was I right?’

‘I'm still in the room,’ Lisa said sourly.

Holly beckoned Gail to come closer so their heads were almost touching. ‘Sometimes Lisa’s no fun,’ she said in a very audible whisper, ‘but don't tell her. She gets cranky. Miss Cranky Pants.’

At this, Gail burst out laughing. ‘Man, that sounds like it could almost be a porn star name.’

‘It does, doesn't it,’ Holly agreed happily, ‘she’d be a dominatrix. In black leather and boots and she’d never smile.’

‘Next time either of you need a gun shot wound stitched up, maybe you should try Rachel,’ Lisa said sulkily but it didn't matter because Holly had forgotten her and was off on another tangent. 

‘Your smile, oh my god Gail, your smile. It,’ Holly paused, searching for the right words. ‘It lights up a room,’ she said finally, looking very pleased with herself as if she had come up with a completely original thought and not a worn cliché.

‘Oh really,’ Gail arched an eyebrow, ‘you've seen my bitchy smile.’

‘The you are an imbecile one or the syrupy but deadly one, you know the one that's sickly sweet but really means I'm about to completely demolish you with a look or a few carefully chosen words or the-‘

‘Stop, stop, stop,’ Gail protested good-naturedly, ‘I didn't know I had more than one.’

‘There are subtle differences. I’ve noticed because I'm a scientist. I observe things. I check things out.’

‘Apparently women in uniform too,’ Gail said, her lips quirking.

‘Only Gail in uniform,’ Holly smiled. It was that goofy one again but she just couldn't control it. It was all good though. Everything was good. Euphoria. That was the sensation she was experiencing, Holly decided. How great was that. She wondered if Gail was feeling the same way. Not Lisa though if the way her mouth was draw in a disapproving line was anything to go by. Definitely not Lisa.

‘I wrote Evelyn a script for antibiotics,’ Lisa interrupted, clearly tiring of the exchange between Gail and Holly, ‘she’s just gone to the drug store.’

‘That was kind,’ Holly said, wondering why Lisa was treating her neighbor and anyway wasn't she called Carla,’ I didn't know Carla was sick.’ Maybe Lisa did some work on Carla? She didn't strike Holly as the type to have plastic surgery, but then again she was fairly flat chested. Maybe she'd had a breast enlargement. Holly hadn't noticed. She'd have to check when Carla returned. Subtly, of course. Holly wouldn't want to embarrass the mousy woman, or worse still, give Carla any reason to think she was interested in her.

‘Um, Holly,’ Gail started.

‘Oh, oh yes,’ Holly said with sudden understanding, ‘it's for me. I got shot.’ She smiled again, happy to have figured this out. She just hoped Lisa had made out the prescription to Carla not Evelyn, ‘I couldn't see Carla having a boob job.’

‘Geez, Holly you’re loopier on pain meds than I am,’ Gail said. Holly could swear she could hear a note of awe, or was it admiration, in Gail’s voice.

…………..

In the morning, Holly woke feeling sluggish. Her head ached, her left arm was throbbing and her throat was dry. It took her a moment to work out where she was. Lisa’s guest bedroom. Gail was curled up beside her, an arm slung protectively around Holly’s waist. Holly slowly tried to ease herself upright so she wouldn't wake Gail but the movement caused pain to shoot through her arm and she gasped out loud.

‘What. What is it?’ Gail sat up, instantly alert. Then her features softened and she asked, ‘are you okay, Holly?’ 

‘Yeah. I forgot I'd be a bit tender.’

‘Here,‘ Gail reached for a packet on the bedside table, ‘Lisa left some painkillers. Not oxy. Something less strong but it will help.’

‘I was completely loopy last night wasn't I?’ Holly swallowed the tablets, coloring as she remembered some of what she had said while high on oxy.

‘Ah, not completely,’ Gail hedged, ‘I did discover you judged me to be eminently fuckable the moment you laid eyes on me.’

‘I don't think I said that exactly,’ Holly demurred.

‘Are you denying it now? You don't think I'm eminently fuckable?’ Gail said with that impish smile she wore when being mischevious.

‘Of course you are eminently fuckable,’ Holly smiled indulgently at Gail’s antics.

‘Oh Jesus, do you two ever talk about anything else,’ Lisa said from the doorway, ‘I came to check on the patient but clearly Holly you are doing okay if you’re already talking about sex.’

……………………………………………..

‘Where’s Evelyn?’ Holly asked over breakfast.

‘You mean Carla,’ Lisa said, ‘she went home after she got the antibiotics. I promised to call this morning and let her know how you were doing.’

‘Carla. Right,’ Holly said, not sure why Gail appeared to be trying not to laugh.

‘So, are you going to tell me who shot you?’ Lisa asked, ‘or is that classified?’

‘Need to know basis only,’ Gail drawled, deliberately tapping the side of her nose just like Lisa had when she decided to play junior spy to Gail’s secret agent. Holly had forgotten she’d told Gail about that. Gail stopped what she was doing when Lisa glared at her. ‘A guy from the Brotherhood of Canada,’ she said.

‘The group you tried to infiltrate. Did they trace you?’

‘I think it was just chance. A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time,’ Gail said.

‘The police came looking for you here yesterday, just like you predicted.’

‘Yeah? Did you get their names?’

‘The first time it was a Staff Sergeant Peck. One of your relations, I'm guessing.’

‘Red hair. Pudgy. Pasty-faced. First name Blake?’ Gail asked and, when Lisa nodded, said, ‘my cousin. And the second visit?’

‘Detective Frankie Anderson. You know she was quite hot,’ Lisa said a little wistfully. 

Holly’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. Really. Lisa was checking out someone who was quite possibly, actually after the events of yesterday was definitely their bent cop, and who probably wouldn't have hesitated to hurt Lisa or worse to extract information from her. 

Gail blew out a breath.

‘Gail,’ Holly said, ‘I swear it was Frankie who shot that man last night. You know when we heard that woman say police, stand back. I'm sure it was Frankie.’

As she finished speaking, there was a loud pounding on the door. It reverberated through the apartment. ‘Police, open up,’ came a familiar voice.

‘Fuck,’ Gail said, ‘it’s Frankie.’

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …………………………………………………………
> 
> Not a completely evil cliffhanger. A shorter chapter too but I thought you’d like the update. I’m starting a new job soon with longer hours so I may have to write shorter chapters if I want to keep updating fairly regularly. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters….
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and for reading. I appreciate it all! Best incentive to keep writing. 
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes.
> 
> Hope you like this - let me know!

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‘Quick,’ Lisa hissed, ‘get in the pantry.’

‘What if Frankie checks in there?’ Holly asked.

By now the pounding on the door was getting louder. They heard Frankie say once again, ‘police, open up.’

‘Just go. There’s no time. I'll do my best to get rid her,’ Lisa said.

Holly looked at Gail who nodded. Lisa was right. There was no time to find a better hiding place. Even if they did, if Frankie was intent on searching Lisa’s apartment she’d find them regardless. As they got up from the table, Gail swept their two breakfast bowls and cups up with her.

‘Don’t want Frankie to figure you had guests,’ Gail explained to Lisa. 

There was still the problem of the unmade bed in the guest room, Holly realized. At least Lisa had insisted on changing the sheets last night after Holly bled on them. Would Lisa have had time to dump the soiled sheets though? Lisa swallowed. Holly had never seen her so panicked, her eyes wild and her face pale. Even when things went pear-shaped in the OR, Lisa was reputed to be the model of cool control. Unflappable. It was what made her such a good surgeon. Lisa took a deep breath and it was enough to snap her out of it. Watching the transformation, it was almost like an inscrutable mask descended, wiping away any fear or anxiety. That was all Holly saw before Gail propelled her into the pantry. It was a narrow space with a bi-fold door and barely enough room for the two of them. Holly couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath as she was shoved against a row of shelves, the pain in the small of her back biting.

‘Is it your arm,’ Gail whispered.

Holly shook her head. Gail looked as if she were about to say something but instead put a finger to her lips to signal quiet. They could hear voices – Lisa and Frankie’s – coming towards the kitchen. Holly started to shake. She didn’t mean to, didn’t want to. It surprised her – this reaction. She thought herself braver but maybe the shock at the events of yesterday was finally catching up. Gail pulled Holly towards her, careful not to touch her wound, but nonetheless holding her tight, enveloping her. ‘I’ve got you,’ she murmured, her breath tickling Holly’s ear. It might have reassured her but the pantry was dark and airless and, in that small space, Holly felt the dread gather inside her, part claustrophobia, part fear. 

Gail must have sensed it. She loosened her hold on Holly just slightly, and then placed the softest of kisses on her lips. It took Holly by surprise. Quite possibly it was the very last thing she expected Gail to do in this moment. Yet it was this - the unexpectedness of it and the sweetness of it – that distracted Holly enough so her body stilled and, while not calmed, she was certainly less apprehensive. It made Holly remember a kiss in another closet all those years ago when she couldn’t help but lean in and kiss Gail, who at the time was her supposedly straight friend. The kiss was fleeting but enough to leave Gail uncharacteristically bewildered, incapable of summoning a scrap of snark, and send Holly scrambling with excuses of needing to dance.

‘What makes you think they’d come here. Like I told you yesterday, Gail hates my guts,’ came Lisa’s voice through the thin pantry door. She sounded irritated, like Frankie was wasting her time. Really, sometimes Holly wondered if Lisa couldn’t have had a career as an actor if she and her parent hadn’t been so ambitious for her.

‘Because Holly was shot yesterday. You’re the first person she’d come to if she needed patching up.’

‘Not if she’s with Gail,’ Lisa stopped, ‘wait, what do you mean Holly was shot?’ The tremor in Lisa’s voice sounded genuine. ‘How badly? Who shot her?’

‘Not bad enough that she couldn’t leave the scene, but witnesses say they saw blood.’

‘So maybe it’s just a flesh wound.’

‘I don’t know. You tell me Dr Gordon. Seeing as you stitched her up.’

‘Detective, I wish Holly had come to me. Then I could have made sure she was okay.’

‘Yeah,’ Frankie drew out the word, managing to sound sceptical and contemptuous at the same time. ‘Mind if I take a look around. Just to check, you know.’

‘Got a warrant,’ Lisa said. 

‘I’m concerned for your safety, Doctor. It’s possible a dangerous felon is in your apartment.’

‘’Still need a warrant detective. Perhaps you don’t know who my mother is?’ 

Even from her position in the cupboard wedged against Gail, Holly could detect the high-handedness in Lisa’s voice. Over the years, in the course of their friendship, Holly had witnessed Lisa like this and could imagine she’d be looking down her nose at Frankie, haughty and dismissive, with the bearing of one born into wealth and privilege and quite convinced this made her superior. Normally it made Holly uncomfortable – and for fuck’s sake it helped drive Gail away that first time – but right now she was silently applauding Lisa’s nerve.

‘What?’ Frankie asked, ‘haven’t you seen the news reports. I’m the hero cop who cut down a gunman who opened fire on a crowded street. I saved people’s lives.’

‘Think you’re untouchable?’ Lisa baited, ‘well, I guess if you want to go from hero to zero then search the apartment. You won’t mind if I film it?’

‘Judge Gordon.’ It was Tracie’s voice. Tense, clearly not happy with the situation. She spoke up before Frankie had a chance to reply to Lisa. ‘That’s who her mother is. You know, the judge who has been speaking out about police verbalizing. Great friends with the Attorney General. Dr Gordon is right. You need a warrant.’

‘McNally, Price. Search the premises,’ Frankie said sharply, ignoring Traci. Still, Holly could detect a change in Frankie’s tone, like the bravado had been dialled down a notch or two.

‘No. You’re ordering an illegal search,’ it was Andy speaking now.

‘Count me out,’ Chloe said, ‘I won’t be a part of this. I didn’t join the force to persecute people.’

‘Fuck,’ Frankie swore, ‘you’re bunch of pussies. Whatever. And you call yourselves Gail’s friends. Dr Gordon if you see Gail, tell her to get in touch. I just want to help her.’

Lisa didn’t bother to reply. There was a brief silence and then Frankie spoke again. ‘Price and McNally, next time you apply for a detective rotation don’t expect a glowing reference from me.’ She sounded a little further away, like she was about to leave the room. Footsteps echoed against the timber floor of the hallway, a heavy thud Holly guessed must signal Frankie’s retreat.

‘I’m sorry,’ Traci said, ‘I tried to stop her. We all did. It seemed better if we came along.’

‘Thanks,’ Lisa said, with what sounded very much like gratitude

There was the sound of shuffling. People moving out of the room and finally silence again. Holly let out a huge sigh of relief. Her breath was hot and it must have tickled Gail’s neck because Gail’s mouth twitched as if she were trying to suppress a giggle. Holly thought they would get out of the pantry now and went to say something but Gail shook her head vigorously. Except it wasn’t vigorous. It was that headshake she did with her eyes, barely moving her head but still conveying the impression it was done with force. What seemed like an age later, but was mere moments, Lisa was jerking open the door.

‘Thank god,’ Holly spluttered, ‘I was beginning to think I might faint it was so airless in there.’

‘Are you feeling lightheaded?’ Gail asked with concern, ‘do you need to lie down?’

‘No. I’m okay,’ Holly shook her head and smiled to reassure Gail. In truth, she was a bit wobbly but didn’t want to worry Gail. Instead she sat on one of the kitchen chairs. ‘And the Oscar goes to Lisa Gordon.’

‘Yeah, good job, Lisa,’ Gail said seriously.

‘Praise from Gail Peck. Now I am worried,’ Lisa threw up her hands in mock alarm. Gail made a face. ‘Good thing you hid your breakfast stuff. Frankie took a really good look around the kitchen.’

‘I was worried she’d see the unmade bed in the guest room,’ Holly said.

‘At least last Frankie wouldn’t have found the bloody sheets or any swabs,’ Lisa said, ‘Evelyn insisted on disposing of all that last night.’

‘She did huh,’ Gail sounded surprised, ‘quick thinking for a nerd.’

‘Isn’t her name Carla,’ Holly furrowed her brow. She didn’t understand why no one seemed able to get a handle on the woman’s name.

Gail laughed fondly which made Holly even more perplexed.

‘Do you think Frankie was telling the truth – does she really want to help you?’ Lisa asked, ignoring Holly’s question.

‘Not if she’s the bad cop,’ Gail twisted her mouth.

‘You don’t think she is?’ Lisa asked

‘If she’s working for the Brotherhood why shoot Judd? Why stop him killing me and Holly?’

‘Double bluff,’ Lisa shrugged.

‘You really have watched too many spy movies, Lisa,’ Gail said dryly.

Holly rubbed her temple. She could feel a headache coming on and her arm was beginning to throb again. ‘So if she’s not the bad cop, why did and she Swarek go after you?’ Holly looked up at Gail, who had started pacing the kitchen but now stopped.

‘Maybe she does believe I’m a rogue cop. Maybe she and Swarek stumbled across this whole deal with the Brotherhood of Canada and decided to do some digging. From the outside it would look like I’m working very hard on their behalf.’

‘And maybe just like you they found out a corrupt cop was supplying the Brotherhood with guns and, not knowing who to trust, thought they needed to go after this cop on their own,’ Holly suggested, ‘which would explain why no one, not even Andy, knows what they’re up to.’

‘Could be,’ Gail said, filling up a glass of matter and handing it to Holly, who inclined her head in thanks. How did Gail know she wasn’t feeling too good? ‘You’re looking a little peaky,’ Gail said as if she knew exactly what Holly had been thinking. ‘Are you sure you don’t need to lie down?’ 

Holly shook her head. ‘I’m okay.’

Gail regarded her for a moment, and then satisfied, continued. ‘And Frankie was looking into my cousin’s finances. Maybe Sam and Frankie think it’s a Peck thing and I’m involved.’

‘So what do we do now?’ Lisa asked.

‘You go to work as normal. Holly and I’ll stay here for a while. Frankie may have someone watching the apartment so it’s probably best if we don’t leave until nightfall. I’ll call Traci in a bit. See what’s happening on that end.’

‘So wait, Traci is in on this?’ Lisa asked.

‘Yeah. Since yesterday.’

‘And you’re sure she’s not the bent cop.’

‘Absolutely,’ Gail didn’t hesitate.

‘So when is this going to end?’ 

Gail shrugged her shoulders. Holly noticed the tightening around Lisa’s mouth and the way she clenched her hands into fists, and so she shouldn’t have been surprised by the eruption that followed.

‘You’re just going to stand there and shrug, when this is all your doing. You dragged Holly into this mess. She’s been hurt and shot at and god knows how many people want her dead because of you and you, you just shrug.’ It was loud and shrill and Lisa had gone quite red in the face. Holly hoped Frankie hadn’t stationed anyone out in the corridor because there was no way they would have missed that tirade. 

‘Lisa,’ Holly began in a placatory tone. All she wanted was some quiet and yes, despite her assurances to the contrary, actually lie down. The headache was worse and she felt bone weary. But no, lying down was not an option because Lisa had gone ballistic. Holly supposed it was overdue. For the most part, after her initial outburst at Gail, Lisa had let things slide. Holly knew it mainly came from a place of fear and concern, but even so Lisa couldn’t help but seize on any opportunity to put the boot in Gail.

‘Don’t try and defend her,’ Lisa snapped, ‘making excuses for Gail is what got you here in the first place.’

‘Okay Lisa I fucked up.’ In contrast to Lisa, Gail spoke quietly but her voice was tight. When Holly looked across at her, Gail’s eyes were downcast and Holly sensed she was rebuking herself much more severely than Lisa had. ‘I should have stayed away from Holly. I brought this shit to her, and I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but now if Holly wants to stay alive she has to stick with me, at least until it’s over. And I promise you Lisa, I will do everything in my power to keep Holly safe.’

‘Just like you did last night,’ Lisa bit.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake,’ Holly said, ‘enough. We’re here. It is what it is. Gail is doing her best to fix this. As for sticking around,’ Holly took Gail’s hand and gave her a crooked smile, ‘you’re stuck with me, Peck. I’m not going anywhere now or even when this is over. You got that Lisa,’ Holly looked at her friend sharply. Lisa made a small moue of disapproval but nodded. 

After Lisa left for work, Holly lay on the couch with her head in Gail’s lap. Her eyelids were dropping and she felt utterly exhausted. It could be the shock, she supposed.

‘Don’t fight it,’ Gail said. She was smiling down at Holly, and her expression was so unguarded and so full of love it literally made Holly’s heart skip a beat. She didn’t think she’d ever lose the wonder of loving Gail and being loved in return. ‘Just sleep. I’ll stay with you.’ Gail gently stroked Holly’s hair back from off her forehead.

When Holly woke, the light in the room had changed and she guessed it to be around noon. Gail was on her cell, speaking in a hushed voice, talking about doubting whether someone was who she seemed. She rang off as soon as she noticed Holly was awake.

‘Feeling a little better,’ Gail asked softly, smiling again.

Holly nodded. ‘How long was I out?’

‘About two hours. My leg was starting to go to sleep.’

‘Oh sorry,’ Holly sat up.

‘Totally fine,’ Gail lent over and kissed Holly, a quick brush of the lips. She rubbed her thigh to get the circulation moving. ‘It’s traumatic being shot, even with a flesh wound.’

It Holly had seen the tell tale scar on Gail’s body so knew she was speaking from firsthand experience. It was something Holly really didn’t want to dwell on. Instead, she said, ‘so you just sat here while I was asleep? Doing what?’ 

‘Not creepily watching you like some sicko if that’s what you’re implying, although I did steal a glance every now then because, well, it’s very hard not to look at you.’

‘Smooth talker,’ Holly smiled. As she did so, she realised her headache was completely gone and the pain in her arm had receded to a dull throb. ‘And I wasn’t implying that.’

‘Oh really. I did some thinking. Not that I figured out anything. I also discovered Lisa has boring and pretentious magazines,‘ Gail gestured to an array on the side table, which included Home and Garden, Investment Weekly, and Oxygen Women’s Fitness, ‘even a plastic surgery journal would have been more entertaining.’

‘World’s top ten boob jobs?’ Holly suggested with a smirk.

‘Eww Holly, I’m not a voyeur, not like Lisa. Anyway, in the absence of decent reading material, I googled the cop hero,’ Gail held up her phone to show a picture of Frankie, probably taken just after she shot Judd. Her gun was still out and she was shouting something, possibly telling people to get down, based on the movement she was making with her free hand. ‘There’s a video. Wanna see it?’

‘No,’ Holly shuddered. Was Gail so inured to violence, to finding herself in life threatening situations that watching a replay of it didn’t faze her? It fazed Holly – that was for sure. But more than that, it bothered her that Gail could be so blasé. Not because she thought Gail callous, but when did this become normal to Gail? Since when was danger quotidian? And what of the long-term consequences? Because one day Gail would hit a wall. She hadn’t really dealt with Perick or what had happened to Steve and her parents, or even Bill and Elaine’s fucked up parenting. It was just layer after layer of what, even singularly, should have been unbearable. Just one of those things would have made most other people crack.

‘I’m sorry,’ Gail was saying softly, and squeezing Holly’s hand, ‘I didn’t think.’ She trailed off.

Holly tried to muster a smile but it came out more like a wince.

‘I’m just used to this, I guess,’ Gail said, once again seeming to read what was going on in Holly’s head. ‘I don’t like it. This is not how I want to live.’

‘I know,’ Holly made that understanding face, part rueful smile, part grimace but full of such concern. Now was not the time to talk to Gail about how the way she lived her life was anything but normal. And it wasn’t just because she was a secret agent. No, the dysfunction had started the day she born a Peck. Still, it was a conversation that would have to come later when all this was over. And yes, Holly decided, she was going to have faith that this would end. That there would be time for that conversation and more, much more. An endless stretch of things, delightful, extraordinary and even sometimes mundane things, the stuff of life she could imagine could be theirs. Yes, Holly would believe there was an after for them because the other option, to consider they might not survive this, was too bleak a prospect.

They were silent for a moment. Holly could hear the ticking of the wall clock in the kitchen and a slow drip of a tap. Someone slammed a front door, the sound like a boom in the outside corridor. 

‘Who were you speaking to just now?’ Holly asked suddenly.

‘Traci.’

‘Where you talking about Frankie?’

Gail shook her head ‘No Evelyn.’

‘You mean Carla’

Gail’s lips twitched ever so slightly in amusement. ‘Thing is, it could just as well be Evelyn.’

‘Okay, now I’m confused,’ Holly said, ‘you think she’s some sort of plant?’

‘Does seem something of a coincidence that she keeps turning up at the right time to get us out of a tight spot. And the way she manoeuvred her car across three lanes of traffic to literally pluck us off the pavement - that wasn’t the work of an amateur. Plus she knew to get rid of evidence we’d been here. Like she anticipated the police or someone might search the place. Pretty cluey for a nerd’

‘Could she be working for Frankie? Maybe that’s how Frankie found out we were here.’ 

‘Nah, if Frankie had been certain we were in the apartment, she would have torn the place apart, regardless of what Traci or the others said. I think Frankie made an educated guess that you’d come to Lisa if you were shot.’

‘Carla doesn’t strike me as a member of the Brotherhood.’

‘You’re right there,’ Gail laughed ruefully, ‘they like their women barefoot and pregnant.’

‘Could Elaine have sent her?’

‘Yeah, right,’ Gail scoffed, ‘because my mother really cares about my welfare. No, Carla seems more Intelligence Service to me’

‘Well, that’s good right?’ Holly said hopefully.

‘Not if she’s working for the traitor in the service.’

‘If that’s the case, wouldn’t we be dead by now?’

‘You just like to think of her as the socially inept, nerdy neighbour who’s crushing on the hot, unobtainable babe living upstairs,’ Gail teased.

Holly’s lips twitched in amusement. ‘Sounds like the scenario for a really bad porn film. The nerdy neighbor goes to borrow a cup of sugar from the babe, who answers the door wearing nothing but a skimpy towel.’

‘Okay, okay don’t get carried away,’ Gail pretended to huff, a scowl on her face.

‘Three things. One, I have zero interest in Evelyn-Carla or whatever the hell she’s called. Two, all my towels are large and luxurious and not in the least skimpy, and three, I would never answer the door in just a towel.’

‘Except if you knew it was me coming home,’ Gail said, her fake scowl turning into an impish smile.

Home. Holly liked the sound of that, and even more liked that Gail believed they could make a home together. It meant she also imagined a future for them. That she believed there was a way out of this impossible situation. Holly found herself smiling broadly again. How did Gail do that? In the midst of all this mayhem, with her life turned upside down in the less than forty-eight hours, Gail could still make her laugh. It just took a few well-placed words, a little snark and some of that attitude Gail knew Holly found amusing rather than intimidating. Bantering. Badinage. That was another word for it. From the French badiner meaning to joke or trifle. They were good at that. 

Right now it was better than giving into introspection, because that was bound to make her maudlin. Holly knew she would start thinking about the happiness that came with being with Gail, a sense that she had finally found the place she was meant to be. Then almost immediately she’d be gripped by fear at the realisation of what was at stake here, of what they stood to lose if they didn’t expose the bad guys – whoever they were. Maybe she and Gail should just run away. Surely, Noelle could help them assume new identities. No, Gail would never do that. She had too strong a sense of duty. Holly was not immune to it either. The sacrifice of one to save the many. If Gail was right, the Brotherhood of Canada planned something that could leave hundreds dead. It was a heavy burden.

‘Wouldn’t you need to arrest me for indecency or something?’ Holly said, choosing levity, needing just a little more time with Gail without the weight of what lay ahead.

‘Oh, I didn’t peg you for a badge bunny,’ Gail arched an eyebrow, then continued teasingly, ‘hot blonde cop arrives home to find her equally hot girlfriend, who's got the whole sexy librarian thing going on, nearly naked, apart from her glasses of course, and has to cuff her and teach her a lesson in dominance. Cause it’s that or the cells.’

‘You really have a flair for this,’ Holly laughed.

‘Yeah, I missed my calling. I should be writing porno scripts.’

‘Do they even have scripts?’

‘Oh there you have to go and shatter my dreams, Holly,’ Gail pretended to pout again but couldn’t stop the grin spilling across her face. She looked down at her hands then, her smile faltering a little, making Holly wonder if there was something else bothering Gail. Well, something else besides all the other shit that had gone down.

‘What is it Gail,’ Holly reached for her hand, ‘what else did Traci say?’

Gail hesitated, then said, ‘it could be nothing. After she left here this morning, Traci went to visit my mother in prison but Elaine wasn’t there. Apparently transferred but no one was able to say where. Traci checked. Same thing goes for Steve and my father. The prison authorities said this sometimes happens. Paperwork gets lost in transition and should be sorted in a few days but,’ Gail broke off.

‘It’s an awful coincidence,’ Holly said, ‘all three.’

‘Yeah,’ Gail sighed heavily, ‘and while Traci was out at the women’s prison she discovered that one Detective Frankie Anderson has visited Elaine four times in the last three months.’

‘Shit,’ Holly said, not sure how to decipher this piece of news. Was Frankie actually on their side or had she been pumping Elaine for information about Gail?

A soft tapping on the apartment door made them both jump.

‘Frankie?’ Holly said, aware her heart rate had shot up.

Gail bit her lip and frowned. Getting up, she went to the front door, checking through the peephole. From her position on the couch, Holly had a direct view of the short hallway leading to the front door. She could make out Gail’s gun tucked in the waistband of her jeans and was relieved when Gail didn’t pull it out. Instead, Gail yanked open the door.

‘Carla,’ she said, her voice syrupy, her smile dangerous, ‘we were just talking about you.’

‘Oh really,’ Carla stuttered, seeming to blush, ‘I just came by to check how Holly was doing. See if you needed a ride somewhere.’

‘Yeah,’ Gail drawled, ‘that’s thoughtful of you.’ Even though her tone was still sickly sweet, there was an edge to her words which, taken with the disingenuous smile, belied their apparent sincerity. Carla must have realized something was off because she blinked uncertainly. No wonder, Holly thought, because there was a thing very much like menace in the air. Instinctively Holly stood and moved towards Gail and Carla. Was Gail so certain Carla was not who she appeared to be? Was Gail about to make a huge mistake?

‘Lucky you have such flexible work hours at the library, not tied to a schedule, popping in and out at whim,’ Gail waved her hand about to suggest the capricious nature of Carla’s work, ‘not a care for those poor med students desperate to locate a copy of “Coronary Atherosclerosis: An Anatomy of an Autopsy” for their exam on Monday.’

Holly saw Carla clench her jaw. It was fleeting, a reflex really. In the next instant Carla relaxed her chin, and was wringing her hands and saying nervously, ‘I’m on a lunch break.’

If the clenched jaw wasn’t a giveaway, the wringing of the hands was overplayed. Too sycophantic. Even Holly could see that. What happened next, happened so fast, Holly might have blinked and missed it. She’d never seen Gail move with such speed and or such fluidity. Flinging Carla against the wall and wrenching her arm painfully behind her, Gail pressed up against Carla’s back, using her own weight to keep Carla in place. With her free hand, she reached into Carla’s jacket, feeling around and then pulling out a gun.

‘My, my, why would a mild-mannered librarian need a Glock,’ Gail said, ‘students threatening you when the books they desperately need are checked out.’

As Gail finished speaking, Carla suddenly and very forcefully shifted her weight, putting Gail a little off balance. They were of a similar build, although Carla was a smidgeon shorter and wirier than Gail. She pushed back into Gail, knocking the gun out of her hand so it skittered across the floor, coming to a stop about a metre away from the two of them and exactly where Holly stood in the middle of the hallway.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think…and as so many of you pointed out Frankie is still very much a question mark… as is Carla really…and Lisa is suspicious of Traci…and what has happened to Elaine and the rest of Gail’s family.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters... 
> 
> Thanks for commenting, subscribing and book marking and for the kudos.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know!

Holly looked down at the gun. It was a Glock just like the one Gail had taught her to use. She could hear Gail and Carla grappling but didn’t take her eyes off the object at her feet. Instead she bent over and picked it up. Squaring her feet just as Gail instructed her, Holly gripped the gun with both hands and extended her arms out front, hoping Carla wouldn’t notice the slight tremor in them.

‘Let Gail go or I will shoot you,’ Holly said more calmly then she felt.

It made Gail and Carla immediately stop, which was a good thing because Carla had wrestled Gail into a chokehold. She looked like she knew what she doing. Executed correctly, a chokehold could render someone unconscious in as little as eight seconds. Holly had performed enough autopsies on chokehold victims to be very aware of that. Under different circumstances, Gail and Carla would have looked quite comical, splayed as they were on the floor, Carla was half-sitting, her arm around Gail’s neck, forcing Gail’s head against her chest.

‘Do you even know how to use it,’ Carla challenged.

The phrase ‘make my day’ fluttered through Holly’s head, which was weird because she a pacifist and, up until quite recently, had an oft-stated aversion to guns.

‘If you fire at this range, you could hit Gail.’ Carla sounded oddly calm. 

Holly could tell she was assessing the situation. Her arm loosened a little from around Gail’s neck and her body relaxed a fraction too. Had Carla decided she was unlikely to carry through her threat, Holly wondered. The childish mantra—‘I’ll show you’—echoed in her head. It was almost immediately replaced by ‘don’t push me, cause I’m close to the edge’. It was a song from her childhood. She remembered sitting in the front of the car on a hot summer’s day—her father was in the grocery store with promises of returning with an ice-cream—and fiddling with the radio dial until she stumbled across the song, the banality and repetition of the lyrics holding a kind of weirdly hypnotic fascination. Oh, she was close to the edge alright, Holly decided, knowing in that moment she would kill Carla if it meant saving Gail.

‘Chances are you’ll miss me, ’ Carla said, ‘and the gun recoil will knock you out.’

‘Really, you want to take your chances?’ Gail asked, her voice tight, ‘Holly is an excellent shot.’

‘Put your hands in the air and back away from Gail or I will blow your fucking head off,’ Holly said it loudly and like she meant it. See what you think of that, Miss Fake Librarian, she thought.

Gail’s eyes bugged slightly, like she was astonished by the vehemence in Holly’s tone. Carla tensed again. She must have realized Holly was serious because in the next moment she let go of Gail and stood up, her hands in the air. Gail leapt up too, pulling her gun out of the waistband of her jeans and pointing it at Carla.

‘Jesus, wait,’ Carla said, now sounding alarmed, ‘the file said Holly was anti-guns.’

‘You shouldn’t believe everything you read in files,’ Gail said coolly.

‘File, what file?’ Holly demanded, waving the Glock about.

‘Can you put the gun down. I’m on your side,’ Carla said.

‘Yeah, prove it,’ Holly said, levelling the gun at Carl again.

‘Can we just sit down and I’ll explain,’ Carla said, ‘I’m a bit nervous that thing is going to go off.’

‘As if. I haven’t even released the gun safety,’ Holly said scornfully. Man, that sounded a lot like something Gail would say.

‘Anyone else know you’re here,’ Gail asked. Carla shook her head. ‘You better be telling the truth because if anyone comes through that door I’ll be the one blowing your head off.’ She motioned with her gun for Carla to sit on the couch. ‘And keep your hands where we can see them.”

Carla nodded.

‘What’s your real name?’ Holly asked. She and Gail were seated on a two-seater couch opposite Carla. They’d both placed their guns within easy reach on the armrests next to them.

‘Carol Waszak. I’m CSIS like Gail, but I’m on the books not part of a covert cell, although this is a covert operation.’

‘What d’ya mean?’ Gail narrowed her eyes.

‘Gail, your team was infiltrating the Brotherhood of Canada right?’ Carla, except it was now Carol, asked. Gail nodded. ‘Every single one of your cell, including your handler has been murdered. You’re the only survivor.’

Gail blew out a breath.

‘We think someone in CSIS tipped the Brotherhood off. That’s how they found out about you.’

‘Okay who’s we and why should I trust you on this, given you were ready to choke me back there.’ 

‘My immediate boss, Alec Cohen,’ Carol turned to Holly, ‘he’s fourth down in the CSIS food chain. He thinks the information may have come from one of his superiors.’

‘Still doesn’t explain the chokehold.’

‘Jesus, Peck I was trying to stop you from killing me before I had a chance to explain. Anyway, I wasn’t completely certain you weren’t involved. We got intelligence that a Peck was assisting the Brotherhood. I mean, I don’t believe it’s you, but it pays to be cautious, you know that.’

‘What made you think it wasn’t Gail?’ Holly asked.

‘Instinct,’ Carol said, ‘plus I don’t think the Brotherhood would try to shoot Gail if she was working for them. And Gail, I couldn’t see you getting your friends from 15-—who, by the way, all check out—involved if you were corrupt.’

Gail nodded. Should they be so readily buying Carol’s story, Holly wondered. It sounded like Carol, just like them, was operating on conjecture and gut feeling. How long had Holly herself been under surveillance? She tried to remember when she first noticed Evelyn at her apartment complex. Was it two months ago?

‘So you moved into my apartment building to what—spy on me?’ Holly asked, ‘did you think I was part of this?’

‘It seemed like an easy way to track down Peck. I knew she’d turn up eventually. My intel indicated she couldn’t stay away from you.’

Unaccountably, Holly found herself blushing. ‘So fainting in your apartment was all an act?’ she asked and Carol nodded. ‘Wow, impressive. I was fooled.’

‘That fainting thing is easy,’ Gail said with a dismissive expression. Was she a little jealous, Holly wondered, or just miffed that she didn’t pick up that Evelyn, as she was then, was a fake.

‘How do we know you’re not working with the CSIS mole,’ Holly pressed on.

‘If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have picked you up off the street last night and brought you here for Lisa to stitch up.’

It had a ring of truth Holly had to admit that. She looked across at Gail who was staring at Carol intently as if weighing up whether they should believe her.

‘I want to meet with Alec Cohen,’ Gail finally said in a way that made it clear this was non-negotiable.

‘That can be arranged,’ Carol nodded. She was so self-assured now and cool in that way people are when they are certain their presence is a value-add, like a celebrity at a party. There was an arrogance to it that Holly found off-putting. The transformation from mousey Carla to this was astonishing, and frankly quite alarming.

‘Who else in CSIS knows about this?’ Gail asked.

‘Just Cohen, myself and one other operative. We don’t know who we can trust in CSIS.’

‘You sure Cohen’s not setting you up. Sending you to find me so he can kill me.’

‘If that was the case you’d be dead by now. We’ve been keeping tabs on you since you showed up at Dr Stewart’s apartment. We know about the hideout Shaw and Williams arranged for you.’

Actually, Carol wasn’t just arrogant, she was a know-all, Holly decided. Maybe she should have shot her when she had the chance. Oh god that totally sounded like something Gail would say. Had holding a gun turned her into a version of Gail?

‘Actually, we should get you back there in case Detective Anderson turns up again,’ Carla said. 

Who put Carol in charge, Holly wondered, thinking Gail wouldn’t be impressed. 

‘You know about Frankie?’

‘Only that she’s convinced you’re the corrupt Peck. She and Swarek seem to have a half-assed version of this whole thing, which has got them gunning for you.’ 

Of course Carol knew about Frankie. She knew about everything else, well except who the mole was, which was actually the most important thing to know. Gail didn’t say anything about Frankie’s visits to Elaine or what they’d uncovered about cousin Blake. It made Holly think Gail didn’t completely trust Carol.

‘So you don’t think Frankie’s corrupt?’ Gail asked.

‘Unlikely,’ Carol said with utter certainty, ‘we may need to consider bringing her in on this. Meantime, I think it’s time I met your posse from 15.’

Posse. Gail’s eyes widened at that and she couldn’t help but slide her eyes in Holly’s direction, like a sideways eye roll. Holly bit her lip to stop from smirking, and then wondered that she could find something amusing, even if it was amusing in its awfulness, at a time like this.

It transpired that along with the sheets, Carol had disposed of the hoddie Holly wore the night before - one sleeve of which had been ripped by the bullet and soaked through with blood. Before leaving the apartment, Gail riffled through Lisa’s walk-in robe to find a replacement hoodie. Given the events of the previous evening and being on the move in daylight, she didn’t want to take any chances she and Holly might be recognised again. Gail smirked as Holly zipped up Lisa’s hoodie.

‘What?’ Holly asked.

‘Um, you’re ah a lot broader, I guess, than Lisa,’ Gail said.

‘What are you really trying to say Gail?’

‘Um, you’re more endowed, that’s all.’ Gail was still smirking.

‘You got a problem with that?’ Holly pretended to challenge. She was starting to smirk too because she could guess exactly what Gail’s answer would be.

‘You know I don’t,’ Gail grinned.

‘Actually, what I do have a problem with is the master of disguise out there,’ Holly jerked her head to indicate the living room.

‘The Miss Meek and Mild Librarian whose turned into Miss Bossy Boots. We’ve created a monster, Holly,’ Gail placed her hands on either side of her cheeks in mock horror.

‘Can we trust her?’ Holly furrowed her brow.

‘I don’t think we have much choice,’ Gail said, ‘anyway, if Carol wasn’t on our side, wouldn’t she be trying to persuade us to do her bidding rather than ordering us around. And she hasn’t asked for her gun back so I’m taking that as a sign of faith. If I’m wrong, you can shoot her,’ Gail grinned impishly.

‘Who are we shooting?’ came Carol’s voice. She was standing in the doorway to Lisa’s bedroom.

Did the woman have supersonic hearing as well? Holly and Gail were in the walk-in-robe so Carol couldn’t see them. Gail rolled her eyes dramatically and made a face that was so distorted, Holly had to suppress a giggle. 

Gail stuck her head out of the walk-in-robe and shrugged. ‘Um, no one in particular.’

‘We really should go,’ Carol said, a tad impatiently if you asked Holly. ‘The longer we stay here, the more we put Lisa in danger, and I’d rather she wasn’t collateral damage, even if you dislike her intensely, Peck.’

‘Did you read that in the files too,’ Gail snarked. 

The ride over to the room above the restaurant was uneventful. Gail and Holly kept their hoodies on and heads down. None of them spoke, initially at least. About halfway into the journey, Carol said n a musing sort of voice, ‘you know Peck, I’m surprised you weren’t on to me.’

‘I had my suspicions,’ Gail said tightly.

‘Yeah,’ Carol’s tone was dubious.

‘She did you know,’ Holly said, annoyed that Carol would doubt Gail. 

‘You didn’t think to call the library. See if I really worked there.’

‘Gee Carol, I’ve had a few other distractions in the last 48 hours. Ringing the library wasn’t on the top of my to do list. Anyway, if you are any good, your cover would have panned out.’ It was said in that saccharine voice, so treacly you could almost feel it burn a hole in you, the sweetness laid on so thick it became corrosive. There was nothing genuine about it or Gail’s fixed smile but the implicit threat both carried.

Carol didn’t say anything but her expression was smug. Jesus, Holly thought was this some sort of competition to work out who was the super spy?

They lapsed into a tense silence for the rest of the journey. Gail was sitting in front, and Holly wished she could reach over and squeeze her hand or do something to reassure her. Even without seeing her face, Holly could tell Gail was scowling. 

Carol found a park in the alley behind their building.

‘It isn’t much, is it,’ Carol said as she surveyed the tiny room with its bare linoleum floor and cracked sink, the threadbare couch which sagged a little in the middle, and the rumpled mattress wedged in a corner.

Holly fought the urge to apologise for its shabbiness, which was ridiculous because this wasn’t her home and what did she care anyway what Carol—if that was indeed her name—thought. 

‘I asked for the RitzCarlton but the budget didn’t quite stretch that far,’ Gail said dryly

‘Pity. There’s something to be said for hiding in plain sight,’ Carol said.

Gail looked at her skeptically. Was Carol for real? Holly was beginning to wish for the return of Evelyn or Carla or whatever the hell her name was.

When Gail excused herself to go to the bathroom, Carol came to sit next to Holly on the couch.

‘You okay?’ she asked, with what seemed like genuine concern, ‘you seem a little subdued. Is you arm hurting?’

Holly shook her head.

‘It must be strange for you, being thrown into all this cloak and danger stuff.’

Holly started to nod then stopped herself. ‘Did you enjoy playing my hapless neighbour?’

Carol’s lips twitched. ‘It was amusing, but if you’re asking, it wasn’t difficult pretending to crush on you. If Gail wasn’t in the picture-.’

‘No I wasn’t asking,’ Holly said hastily, shifting along the couch to put as much distance as possible between her and Carol. Wow, did Carol expect her to be what, flattered? Grateful for her attention? Even if Gail wasn’t in the picture, Holly would not be remotely attracted to this woman in any of her guises.

Fortunately Gail reappeared before the conversation could become even more awkward. She looked from Holly to Carol quizzically as if she knew something was up. 

‘You know anything about what happened to Steve and my parents?’ Gail asked Carol.

‘They’re okay. Cohen thought it best to put them in a safe house until this is over, just in case they were used as leverage against you.’

‘Does Cohen know how I feel about my family,’ Gail sneered, ‘or was that not in the file.’

‘Hostile, resentful, bitter about their betrayal, trust issues, feelings of inadequacy. Yep, it was all there. Perfect profile for an agent.’

Holly couldn’t tell if Carole was serious or not. CSIS had accepted Gail though so that must say something. Admittedly, it was for some sort of kamikaze ghost unit.

‘Given your mummy and daddy issues, it’s a surprise you didn’t fall for someone like either of your parents. It’s a classic move, you know—if you were rejected and judged by your parents as a child, you find a partner who does the same thing.’

‘What, you’re a psychologist now,’ Gail said.

‘That was my first degree.’

‘You really are an ass,’ Gail said, her lip curling enough that Carol had no doubt this was exactly what she thought of her.

‘Yeah, but I’m the ass who is going to save your ass.’ Carol was clearly quite pleased with the pun. 

‘Was that your second degree?’ Gail asked innocently.

‘Sorry,’ Carol looked confused.

‘A masters in being an ass,’ Gail said like it was obvious, like it was something Carol should know. 

Carol didn’t say anything but smiled, a prim little smile. If Gail’s intention was to goad Carol, it wasn’t working. Holly got the distinct impression Carol was untroubled—if anything faintly amused—by Gail’s antics. It made her think Carol must have a sizeable ego because you needed an unshakable self-belief to withstand Gail’s scorn, especially when it was so unrelenting and bordered on excoriation.

……………………..

‘Explain to me why we’re trusting this person?’ Traci asked. 

‘Because she’s too obnoxious not to be legit,’ Gail replied.

‘Not exactly conclusive,’ Noelle said.

The two women had shown up just after six with news that Oliver would bring Dov and Chris over shortly. Gail had told Carol to go make herself useful and buy some dinner. The agent had readily acquiesced which, if anything, made Gail more annoyed.

‘If Carol wasn’t on our side, she would have killed Holly and me by now,’ Gail pointed out.

Holly winced, not because the mention of death disturbed her (although she wasn’t exactly excited about it either) but rather it was the casual, even flippant way Gail said it.

‘Unless this is a mop-up operation,’ Noelle said, ‘and Carol’s using you to lead her to anyone you’ve told about this and plans to take us all out.’

‘She already knew who was involved and about this place,’ Holly pointed out, ‘so I’m guessing if the plan is to kill all of us, we’d already be lying on slabs in the morgue.’

‘Dark,’ Gail grinned. Holly made a face.

‘I want some sort of proof, you know a sign of faith,’ Traci said.

A tap on the door signalled the arrival of Oliver and the two boys. As Traci went to open the door, Holly watched Gail and Noelle tense and reach for their guns, ever vigilant. There was no need. Chris was through the door first. He picked up Gail and giddily whirled her around, a huge grim on his face. 

‘Geez Diaz, what the hell, put me down,’ Gail protested. As Chris finally placed her on the ground, Gail tried to scowl but the corners of her mouth threatened to quirk into a smile.

‘Man, I thought I’d never see you again,’ Chris said, not bothering to disguise his happiness at the sight of Gail. Probably not capable of disguising it, Holly decided. Subterfuge was not in his nature.

Dov was next. Taking courage from Chris’s boldness, he drew Gail into a swift hug.

‘Oh god, not you too Dov,’ Gail grumbled, ‘when did you guys become so sentimental.’

Oliver laughed. One of those fond laughs, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He was standing in the doorway and as he came into the room, Chloe stepped from behind him, squealing and running towards Gail. When she saw Gail’s face, she hesitated—and who wouldn’t, Holly thought, because Gail had sort of turtled her head back and her expression was part alarm, part repugnance and, strangely, part resignation. Chloe, ever tenacious and never one to let Gail’s clear lack of enthusiasm (read antipathy) deter her, only hesitated for a second before she launched herself at Gail, wrapping her arms around her and squeezing hard.

‘Jesus Princess,’ Gail squirmed, her face red—whether it was from embarrassment or the suffocating embrace was hard to tell. When Chloe didn’t release her, Gail went limp. It did the trick because finally Chloe let go. ‘What the fuck are you doing here,’ Gail asked her.

‘I overheard Dov and Chris talking,’ Chloe said gaily, clearly unruffled by Gail’s reaction, ‘and I’m with you, 110 per cent, Gail.’

‘I’m hoping there’s a good explanation for this,’ Gail rounded on Dov and Chris, ‘and you two weren’t just, you know, chatting in the break room at 15.’

‘What? No!’ Chris reassured her, ‘Oliver came round late last night and we thought Chloe had gone to bed.’ Chris made an apologetic face.

‘Just don’t tell McNally,’ Gail warned Chloe.

Now the tiny, redhead looked guilty. ‘Um, she’s on her way over,’ Chloe said.

‘Oh just great,’ Gail threw up her hands, ‘I’m guessing she’s bringing Sam with her too.’

‘No, they separated. He’s been acting like a dick. Andy was sick of his obsession with bringing you in and hated the way he treated Holly. So, she’s saying zip.’ Chloe made a zipper motion across her mouth. ‘Sorry Oliver, I know you and Sam are friends.’

‘Sammy’s been,’ Oliver paused, his face pained, ‘too ready to believe what, ah, others tell him.’

‘You mean Frankie,’ Gail curled her lip.

‘Yeah, no need to beat around the bush, Oliver,’ Traci said, ‘we all know who you’re talking about.’

‘I still think Frankie’s hung up on you,’ Chloe said decidedly, ‘that’s why she’s acting like this.’

‘Hate to break it to you Disney Princess but life is not a RomCom.’

‘You sure about that, Gail,’ Chloe nudged Gail in the ribs and inclined her head in Holly’s direction. 

Holly had remained silent through the whole exchange between Gail and her friends, fascinated—actually blown away—by the dynamics. These people really cared about Gail and, despite her gruffness, Gail was starting to realize it. Holly could tell by her expression. There was a touch of wonder in it, but also gratitude. Gail hadn’t expected this. She claimed her friends didn’t care about her. It wasn’t said out of self-pity but nonchalantly, like Gail couldn’t care less, like they didn’t matter to her, which Holly knew wasn’t true. It was vintage Gail to lash out first - attack the best form of defence – that way she didn’t leave herself open to being hurt or letdown. Now that wasn’t something Gail had learned from parents but because of them. She would have been crushed otherwise.

Holly knew Gail was convinced she only belonged to this friendship group because of proximity – but wasn’t that the way most people found friends. Researchers had even given it a name half a century ago—the proximity theory. Still, in her worst moments, Gail believed it a friendship based on circumstance not choice, and then familiarity, she was like the stray cat you feed one day and which keeps hanging around, too wild to come inside and anyway you’re not even sure you want a cat, but a constant presence nonetheless.

Sure, there was a shared history with her fellow rookies but Gail had always felt on the outer. If she wasn’t girlfriend material, then she sure as hell wasn’t friend material, and being irascible and a brat made sure of that. What Gail hadn’t counted on was that this bunch of people saw past that to the vulnerability that lay beneath, a heart that could be astonishingly generous and a loyalty as fierce as it was uncompromising. She wasn’t the type of friend who helped you move house or who would necessarily remember your birthday or hug you and say soothing words when your relationship broke up, but time and again she’d put herself on the line for you, no question about that.

Now watching Gail and Chloe, Holly smiled. Gail must have sensed something because she looked up and directly at Holly, and her smile in return was the one that literally made Holly’s heart skip a beat. Wide and adoring and unselfconscious. Every time Gail smiled at her like that Holly fell a little more in love with Gail—if that were possible, given how immense that love already felt. It was a smile from the heart—a pure, unadulterated expression of her feeling for Holly.

‘See,’ Chloe elbowed Gail again, ‘life can be a fairy tale.’

‘Sheesh,’ Gail said, pushing Chloe away but with no real force. She looked back at Holly again, her smile now impish, like she knew Holly could tell her dismissal of Chloe was just for show. Impish too because she dared to allow that this, that what she and Holly had, was real.

Carol returned shortly afterwards with the takeout —Thai this time—and beer and paper plates and plastic knives and forks. 

‘I noticed the kitchen wasn’t exactly well-stocked,’ she explained. 

The super sleuth strikes again, Holly thought. Apart from that initial once over, Carol hadn’t appeared to be checking out the place, at least not that Holly noticed.

Noelle and the crew from 15 were wary. In fact their mistrust of Carol was so palpable you could practically slice a knife through it. Talk about the elephant in the room. Not that Holly blamed them for being suspicious. She, herself, was yet to be convinced Carol was on their side. Only Gail seemed sure. Was it some secret spy thing, a special antenna for double agents? Stupid, she reasoned, if that were the case all those British spies who defected to Russian during the Cold War and all those Russians who sought amnesty in the West would never have made it.

The appearance of Andy put a stop to further speculation. ‘Still not how I communicate McNally,’ Gail said through gritted teeth, her arms flailing at her sides but Andy kept hugging her.

‘So,’ Oliver said once everyone had helped themselves to food, ‘we need a plan.’ 

‘It would help if we knew what we were dealing with,’ Gail said.

‘And with whom,’ Noelle looked pointedly at Carol.

‘Assuming the CSIS mole is female¬–‘ Carol started. There weren’t enough chairs so she was sitting on the floor, alongside Dov and Chris.

‘You’re basing that on what?’ Andy asked.

‘We heard two thugs at Holly’s apartment talking about a female boss. The Brotherhood of Canada is arranged on strictly patriarchal lines so that rules them out. We’re guessing it’s someone in CSIS,’ Gail explained.

‘Why not Frankie – why don’t you think they were referring to the bent cop?’ Andy asked.

‘Because the bent cop appears to be my cousin Blake,’ Gail made a face, ‘as ever the Peck family can be trusted to deliver on corruption.’

Holly, who was seated next to Gail, felt for her hand and covered it with her own. She hated that Gail felt she needed to take responsibility for her family’s behaviour.

‘On that,’ Dov spoke up, ‘I’ve done some digging. Regular and very large sums of money have been deposited in Blake’s brother’s account. Most of them from what appear to be legit businesses but they all belong to members of the Brotherhood.’

‘Interesting,’ Gail said.

‘Yeah, Blake only opened the account six months ago,’ Chris said, ‘and the teller who served him has a very good recall for faces. It was Blake not his brother, Jonathon who opened the account. Besides, the teller remembers him as fully abled.’

‘As much as you can say that about my cousin Blake,’ Gail said dryly.

Chris laughed a little uncertainly.

‘The numbers two and three in CSIS are women. I’m betting it’s one of them,’ Carol said, sounding a little peeved that the conversation had been hijacked from her.

‘Which conveniently puts your boss—Alec Cohen, the number four—in the clear,’ Holly said, unable to stay silent but not meaning to sound as hostile as she did, ‘any chance those thugs at my apartment were taking orders from you Carol?’

‘Yeah,’ Traci agreed, ‘what proof do we have we can trust you? How do we know if you’re here to help?’

‘You’ll know,’ Carol calmly looked down at her phone, ‘ in, oh, approximately 30 seconds.’ 

The rap on the door was almost immediate. A hard, definite knock. Holly swore it made every single one of them jump. Gail and all the police officers were on their feet, guns drawn. Carol remained cross-legged on the floor, seemingly unperturbed, if anything, quite smug. She popped a forkful of pad thai in her mouth and started chewing slowly. No shovelling of food for her. Thirty-six deliberate chews, Holly would bet on it.

‘Should I open it?’ Gail whispered. Somehow she had managed to get herself closest to the door.

Oliver nodded. 

Holly wanted to scream no, not you Gail, don’t you go first. Let someone else answer the door. Let someone else be the target. She had a vision of throwing her arms around Gail’s legs and refusing to let go, dragging her back to the couch. Then Holly realized it didn’t matter. If Carol had set a trap, there was no hope for any of them. It occurred to Holly that had spent quite a good proportion of the last two days or so startled by the knock at the door, fearful of what lay on the otherside. So far it was friends rather than foes but their luck had to run out sometime.

Gail waited a beat. The strain on her face was pronounced, just as it was on the faces of her friends who stood by her, keyed and alert. There was another rap on the door and this time Gail pulled it open. Holly held her breath and squeezed her eyes shut, balling her hands into fists so tight her nails dug into her palms. 

For a moment there was not a sound in the room. All Holly could hear was the distant rumble of traffic, and closer by the whirr of the restaurant’s air conditioner, voices floating up from the sidewalk below and a cat howling in the alleyway. It was as if time were suspended here in this squalid little room, the air fuggy from the number of people who were crowded into such a small space and smelling cloyingly of curry and coconut. Holly had this crazy notion that if she kept her eyes closed then maybe nothing bad would happen. Gail wouldn’t open the door and they wouldn’t rush headlong into whatever horror awaited outside. Then the tap over the sink began to drip, drip with a metallic plop and Holly’s eyes flew open. 

Standing on the doorstep was someone Holly thought—in fact very much had hoped—was ensconced in Vancouver.

‘Nicholas,’ Gail said, a note of disbelief in her voice.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
Let me know what you think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters.
> 
> At last an update. Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks. All are much appreciated. Apologies for any mistakes. Let me know what you think!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

‘Nicholas,’ Gail said for a second time but now she didn’t sound surprised, ‘you asshole.’ She punched him soundly in the shoulder. The brachialis to be exact, Holly couldn’t help noting. Nick recoiled a little from the blow. Holly caught herself hoping it hurt, which was mean and not like her at all, spite wasn’t something she did. In fact, she couldn’t recall wishing misfortune on anyone, even Lisa after that night at the Penny and god knew she deserved to suffer for that.

‘Good to see you too, Gail,’ Nick gave an easy grin, rubbing the spot where Gail hit him, ‘man I don’t remember you packing such a punch’

Gail grinned evilly and pulled Nick into a quick hug. There was a naturalness to it that surprised Holly. Gail had once shyly admitted she only felt comfortable hugging Holly and yet here she was with Nick seemingly completely at ease. 

As Gail stood back, Nick regarded her with a kind of indulgent amusement. There was something proprietorial about it and Holly felt a bubble of resentment forming in her chest. It wasn’t that she was jealous of Nick because Gail gave her ever reason to feel secure—no it wasn’t that—but a part of her, a very big part to be honest, felt Nick had no right to act this way when he had taken so little care of Gail’s heart. When he had left Gail not once, but twice—the second time after he had so relentlessly pursued her until Gail took the line of least resistance because it seemed easier that way—and then made Gail feel like she was the bad guy. Holly didn’t really know Nick, but it seemed to her like he hadn’t bothered to understand Gail. Most people would think Nick a stand-up guy, but he was an ass, Holly was convinced of that. So while the others were grinning and saying things like ‘oh my god I can’t believe it’s you Nick’ and Carol was looking smug, Holly couldn’t muster even the pretence of a smile

It was Chloe who noticed. ‘You okay,’ she asked Holly quietly.

‘Yeah. It’s just my arm. It’s throbbing a bit,’ Holly lied. She couldn’t very well admit what was bothering her, not without seeming petulant and unreasonably controlling. Was she controlling, Holly wondered, and then dismissed the thought. Nick was an ass, at least when it came to Gail, and that’s what this was all about.

‘Do you need something?’ Chloe asked, her forehead crinkled with genuine concern.

Holly shook her head and forced a smile this time.

‘What the fuck, Nick,’ Gail exclaimed. She and Nick were still by the door. Gail had tucked her gun back into the waistband of her jeans, and the others had reholstered their weapons.

‘I’m with CSIS now.’

‘Always a follower,’ Gail teased, ‘but I guess any place where I am is going to be awesome.’

‘Good to see you haven’t changed, Gail,’ Nick grinned. Even if it was said light-heartedly, Holly knew it was wrong. Gail had changed. Just to what extent, Holly was yet to fully discover, but she knew for sure this wasn’t the same Gail she’d turned her back on three years ago.

‘So an agent—what about Juliet and Vancouver?’ Gail said, ignoring Nick’s barb. 

Nick shrugged casually and gave a boyish smile, ‘Didn’t work out.’ 

He had the ease and self-assurance of a handsome man, used to having things fall into place. The beauty premium —that’s what some researchers called it. Good-looking people were paid more, hired quicker, and people were not only more willing to listen to them, but do what they asked. Studies had even shown that very young children instinctively trusted attractive people more. Unsurprisingly they recorded higher levels of self-confidence. No one had figured out whether this was innate or just another consequence of their looks, because if you had a clear path through life, if you encountered no significant barriers, then naturally you’d be more self-confident. It was the classic chicken or the egg question. Whatever, right now Nick’s confidence irked Holly. 

She felt behind the cushion to where she’d stashed her gun, placing it there because she was still not used to carrying a weapon. Finding it, she ran her thumb along the cool metal nuzzle. It was reassuring somehow. She had a crazy vision of pulling it out and aiming it at Nick and demanding he explain himself. Not how he came to be here in this dingy little room. She didn’t care about that. No, Holly wanted to know how Nick could be so nonchalant when he’d done so much to make Gail feel unworthy of love. In fact, it was this insouciance that convinced Holly that Nick had given little thought to how he may have hurt Gail, perhaps even had not the slightest inkling of what he had done.

It transpired Nick was recruited by the agency three months back. They liked his experience on the force and in the army. Alec Cohen, the number four at CSIS who Carol had assured them they could trust, approached Nick when things started going pear-shaped with Gail’s operation. The background check completed before Nick joined CSIS had revealed his connection to the Pecks and Alec figured he’d be on board. 

‘And I believed you when you said you were going travelling after you and Juliet split,’ Chloe said, shaking her head but not really annoyed.

Nick grinned sheepishly.

‘Three months. So you’re still in training,’ Gail said with a roguish grin, delighted to have one up on Nick.

Nick look faintly amused again. ‘The advantage is Cohen has seconded me to his section as trainee so it doesn’t raise any suspicions.’ 

‘And we can trust him?’ Noelle asked.

‘Yep. He’s straight up and down,’ Nick reassured.

‘So what’s your cover, Carol?’ Holly said. The hostility with which she spoke was so uncharacteristic all eyes whipped around to look at her.

‘My cover? You mean when I was Carla-‘Carol started, appearing to be perplexed. Holly couldn’t tell if it was real or for show.

‘Not that. I mean your cover at CSIS. What do your colleagues at work think you’ve been doing all the time you had me under surveillance?’ Oh god she sounded bitter and suspicious but she couldn’t help it and didn’t want to anyway. There was something so grim and so messed upon the fact that their fate—the chance of she and Gail getting out of this alive—came down to Carol and Nick.

‘Oh, they think I’m on stress leave,’ Carol said, ‘indefinitely.’

‘Uh huh,’ Holly said slowly. Though she didn’t mean for it to come across that way, there was something in her tone that made it sound like she was unconvinced. Gail looked at her questioningly and then her gaze moved to where Holly’s hand disappeared behind the cushion. Trust Gail to know where she’d hidden the gun. Gail bit her lip and took a step towards the couch and then another. Holly realized Gail was probably weighing up whether she was about to completely lose it. Which Holly wasn’t, even if only moments ago she was contemplating waving a gun in Nick’s stupidly handsome face.

‘We’ve got your back, Holly,’ Nick gave that easy smile again. Perfect white teeth and a hint of dimples. Almost involuntarily Holly found herself smiling back at him, the charm too hard to resist and anyway good manners had been something Holly’s parents insisted upon, so much so politeness was a reflex. She noticed Gail’s shoulders relax.

‘So who else have we got at the agency besides you two and Cohen?’ Dov asked.

‘Um, that’s it,' Nick said.

‘That’s it,’ Dov echoed, not quite believing what he was hearing.

‘Afraid so,’ Nick said, ‘we don’t know who in the agency to trust. Just as you can’t say who’s been turned on the force.’

‘So it’s up to us here in this room to prevent a major home grown terrorist attack.'

‘That about sums it up,’ Nick agreed.

‘And Frank,’ Noelle said, ‘Frank’s with us.’

‘Well, that makes twelve of us. That’s okay them,’ Dov said sardonically.

‘Thirteen counting Alec Cohen,’ Carol pointed out.

‘Fourteen with Traci’s finance, Jordan,’ Holly said, partly because she didn’t want Carol to have the last word but also to gauge her reaction. If Carole was legit, then she shouldn’t have any real issue with bringing another CSIS operative into their circle. 

‘That may not be a good idea,’ Carol said, ‘how do we know if he’s with us.’

‘We can trust Jordan,’ Traci said, ‘I can guarantee that.’

‘Like you trusted Steve Peck,’ Carol began.

‘Carol,’ Gail spoke over her, ‘its time for you to shut the fuck up. Traci’s word is good enough for the rest of us,’ Gail stopped and looked around. Everyone, with the exception of Carol, was nodding.

‘Jordan checks out,’ Nick said, adding apologetically as Traci raised an eyebrow, ‘we had to.’ Traci nodded. 

‘So,’ Oliver said, ‘we need a plan.’

‘Yep,’ Nick agreed.

It was decided Dov should gather whatever intelligence he could on any of the Brotherhood. ‘Anything could be useful at this point,’ Gail said, handing him a list of names she’d drawn up of the Brotherhood members.

‘I’m in for a long night,’ Dov said, looking at the rather extensive list, ‘how many of these guys are there?’

‘More than we’d like,’ Gail replied.

‘Let’s all reconvene in the morning,’ Nick suggested, ‘once Dov’s had a chance to do some digging.’

‘Not a good idea,’ Gail said, ‘we shouldn’t all meet together like this again.’

‘Sick of us already,’ Dov quipped, ‘thought you might have got over your misanthropy.’

‘Yeah, that’s exactly why,’ Gail said.

‘Dov,’ Chloe interrupted, ‘we’re the only ones standing between the Brotherhood and Canada.’

She was right of course. Holly hadn’t thought it through either. She looked around the tiny room. They were a motley crew who yes had a good deal of experience in law enforcement, and in the case of Gail, Carol and Nick, a background in espionage, but even with all that how could they protect an entire nation. And though the gravity of the task ahead registered in the faces of each and every one of them in that room, even in Carol's expression, there was also a steadfastness, as though this was a duty they could not, would not shirk.

‘Chances are they could take us all out in one hit. Problem solved,’ Carol said, almost liked she relished the thought, well not of that happening but rather the position they had assumed, the fate of a nation resting on their shoulders. 

‘It’s overwhelming if you think about it too hard,’ Andy said.

‘Then don’t,’ Gail said tartly. She sounded impatient but Holly sensed it came from stress. Gail had been on the run, undercover for so long and had until a few days ago carried the burden of this mission alone. 

‘Gail,’ Holly said quietly and put her hand on Gail’s leg, just lightly. Gail had come to sit next to her on the armrest of the sofa, and at Holly’s gesture, she looked a little contrite.

‘We need to move Gail and Holly. If I found this place, then the Brotherhood or any rogue CSIS agent can too. ‘Carol said, ignoring Gail’s outburst. 

‘Probably sensible to be on the move,’ Noelle agreed, ‘where do have in mind?’

‘My apartment.’

‘What, in Holly’s building,’ Gail said scathingly, not bothering to hide her contempt for Carol.

‘No, my actual one. I’ll need to sweep it for bugs first so you and Holly should stay here tonight. Nick are you up for babysitting.’

‘Jesus Carol I hardly need to be minded,’ Gail protested.

‘Humour me Peck. You are central to this op.’

Gail made a grudging face. ‘Anyway why is your place any better?’ she asked.

‘It’s bigger for a start and much more ah salubrious. Plus I doubt anyone would look for you there. Even if anyone from CSIS or the Brotherhood knew what I was up to, they wouldn’t imagine I’d have a couple of fugitives stashed in my apartment. Hiding in plain sight.’

After that people left. In turn Chloe, Andy, Traci and Oliver hugged Gail, who only relaxed into Oliver's embrace, and then Holly.

‘It will be okay, darling,’ Oliver said quietly to Holly, giving her shoulder a squeeze. Holly wanted to believe him.

Dov and Chris shuffled awkwardly, and Noelle finally pushed them out the door. ‘We'll get these bastards,’ she said as she went. 

Carol gave a curt nod. ‘I call tomorrow. Confirm the apartment is clear.’

That left Gail and Holly and Nick. An uncomfortable silence descended. You could literally feel it roll out, from the ceiling down to the floor so it was if their feet were mired, unable to move. Nick looked around the room and Gail stared at the floor. Clearly both of them were stuck for what to say or do. Suddenly the already tiny space seemed even smaller as though the walls were slowly hemming them in. It reminded Holly of a B-grade horror movie she’d seen as a teenager where the walls in a room kept moving and moving until the protagonist was almost flattened, gasping for air as he suffocated. She couldn’t recall if he escaped. If the walls had kept moving, first his bones would have been crushed, his ribs would have pierced his lungs and his skull would have caved, followed by a massive explosion of the internal organs. A forensic pathologist’s nightmare or dream depending on how you looked at it.

‘I think I’ll go to bed,’ Holly finally said.

‘Yeah, good plan,’ Gail agreed with an enthusiasm that bordered on the ridiculous. She twisted her mouth as if trying to find the right set for it, finally settling on biting her bottom lip. Still, she shot Holly an appreciative look, clearly grateful that she had broken the inertia that had started to settle over the three of them.

Getting ready for bed was awkward. In the tiny bathroom, Holly brushed her teeth and checked her dressing. At least the wound was healing nicely. Then she changed into a t-shirt and pulled off her jeans. Coming back into the main room, Holly was suddenly conscious of being braless and that the t-shirt barely reached the top of her thighs—she needn’t have worried though because Nick and Gail were deep in conversation, although they stopped talking abruptly as soon as she stepped back into the room.

Gail smiled at her but there was something a little off about it. Too bright, making it seemed forced. It disconcerted Holly. She wondered what Gail and Nick had been talking about and if she had a right to ask. Nick excused himself to use the bathroom and Holly went over to the mattress.

She was standing there, intermittently bathed in the glow from the pink neon sign outside the window as it flicked on and off, on and off in a gaudy, monotonous display, when she felt Gail’s arms slip around her waist from behind. ‘You all right,’ Gail asked, resting her chin on Holly’s shoulder.

‘Just tired,’ Holly said, using the same excuse she gave Chloe.

By the time Gail came back from the bathroom, Nick was already settled on the couch with a blanket. The three of them said some clumsy good nights, and then Gail switched off the light. In bed, she moved over close to Holly, an arm around her middle. Holly turned to face her, catching Gail’s tentative smile before she leaned in with a kiss. Like the smile, it was tentative at first, as if Gail didn’t know if Holly would welcome it, but then quickly became surer as Holly kissed her back. 

The weirdness of kissing Gail like this when Nick was only a few feet across from them was not lost on Holly. The couch was faced away from the bed so he couldn’t see what they were doing, and they were being very quiet and, apart from the kissing, very still. After a moment, Gail pulled back. ‘I love you,’ she breathed so only they could hear and leaned her forehead against Holly’s. As much as anything else, Holly realised, it had been a kiss to reassure, and yet there was something about Gail that seemed withdrawn. Holly was certain it was connected to whatever Gail and Nick were talking about when she came out of the bathroom, but with Nick so close by, she didn’t think she could ask Gail. 

In the morning, Holly woke to find she and Gail so tangled that just for a moment she couldn’t work out where her body ended and Gail’s began. Nick was already up and standing by the sink.

‘I got breakfast,’ he grinned, clearly pleased with himself.

‘Yeah,’ Gail sounded mildly enthusiastic, ‘what?’ She and Holly shifted to sit up.

‘Coffee and a breakfast roll with bacon and egg and tomato,’ Nick replied cheerfully, holding up two rolls wrapped in greaseproof paper, ‘one for each of you.’

‘Eggs,’ Gail said, the note of incredulity in her voice matching her expression.

‘Tomatoes,’ Holly said, quirking an eyebrow, which made Gail laugh.

‘Egg, tomatoes, yeah’ Nick started, a little less certain but still with that boyish smile that no doubt charmed legions of heterosexual women. Then the smile faltered. ‘Oh man, Gail, I forgot. Sorry. But Holly, you can have one.’ He at least looked sheepish.

‘Tomatoes,’ Holly shook her head.

‘Tomatoes,’ Gail agreed solemnly.

Nick looked puzzled. ‘Are you allergic too, Holly?’

‘No genius, what my girlfriend means is that she wants to be able to kiss me today, so no tomatoes.’

‘Oh, yeah, of course.’ 

Holly actually felt sorry for the guy. He was trying, she had to give him that. And he seemed unfazed by Gail’s use of the word girlfriend. And yeah that’s what Gail had called her. Girlfriend. It was said so naturally and so effortlessly and Holly couldn’t help but feel a thrill at Gail’s willingness to openly define their relationship.

Nick’s phone rang and he retreated toward the sink to answer it.

‘I’m surprised you survived dating him,’ Holly quipped. They had both got up and were pulling on their jeans.

‘And not just because of the tomato amnesia,’ Gail said, ‘it was touch and go but I must have known something better was waiting for me.’

Holly tilted her head, a crooked smile breaking across her face. People said Gail was cold and removed, that loving her was a one-way ticket to heartbreak but Holly knew better, and she knew this Gail. Sweet and playful and increasingly open about her feelings for Holly. 

‘Yeah,’ Holly said, wondering if she dared believe she was indeed the better thing, that Gail was different with her, that their relationship was different to any of Gail’s previous ones. At the very least, she remembered about the tomatoes, but geez how hard was that.

‘Yeah,’ Gail smiled and nodded. Then not caring that Nick, who was still on the phone, could see them, Gail leaned in to kiss Holly, lingering a little longer than a chaste kiss might demand.

‘Good morning,’ she smiled at Holly, suddenly shy. The tension of the night before seemed forgotten, which was odd. Holly was sure Gail wouldn’t deliberately exclude her but what if she and Nick were shielding her from something? She needed to talk to Gail alone and find out what was going on. Tell Gail there was no need to protect her—Holly was all in, Gail had to know that.

In the event she didn’t need to wait. Nick got off the phone looking grim. Holly hadn’t taken much notice of the call, wrapped up as she was in Gail, but from what she had overheard it seemed like Nick was asking a lot of questions and making arrangements.

‘What,’ Gail demanded.

‘Uh,’ Nick hesitated, ‘we’re moving Holly’s parents—just to be sure.’

‘My parents,’ Holly said in surprise, but even as she said it realized that this was probably what Nick and Gail had been discussing last night.

‘It’s just a precaution,’ Gail reassured her, touching Holly’s arm.

‘What the hell! You two discussed this without telling me,’ Holly shook off Gail’s hand.

‘It wasn’t like that,’ Gail said, ‘we didn’t want to alarm you for no reason. We weren’t sure.’

‘Weren’t sure? ’Holly asked. She could hear her voice rising and knew her expression had turned hard.

‘Last night Gail told me Carol said Steve and Gail’s parents had been put in hiding. I knew nothing about it. I spoke to Carol first thing. She admitted lying about it because she was worried it would distract Gail. It means the traitor from CSIS has got Gail’s family or at least secured their release. Which also means they could have been handed over to the Brotherhood.’

‘What’s that got to do with my parents. And why are you still trusting Carol? What if she’s working with the traitor and the Brotherhood.’

‘She’s definitely legit,’ Nick said, ‘she checks out. I don’t think you two would be alive if she was working for the other side.’

‘That’s what Gail said.’

Nick nodded. Gail wasn’t saying anything now, but she was biting her lip again and lregarding Holly apprehensively.

‘But why?’ Holly asked, even though she could guess the answer, ‘why take Gail’s family?’

‘Leverage I suppose or to keep Gail occupied. They probably assume she’ll go looking for her family rather than try and stop whatever the Brotherhood has planned.’

Holly nodded curtly. ’We need to find them.’

‘I think preventing a terrorist attack in Toronto is more important than three disgraced police officers,’ Gail said without the slightest hint of emotion.

‘Oh honey,’ Holly sighed, her eyebrows knitting together in concern. She reached for Gail’s hand, which Gail allowed, but she didn’t return the brief squeeze Holly gave it. Of course Gail would choose duty over family. It had been drilled into her. Ironic really now the Pecks needed her. No matter what the Pecks had done, they were still family, and Holly suspected Gail would be tormented by the decision to abandon them. Guilt and remorse and failure. She was bound to be feeling all three, and a sense of powerlessness.

‘Anyway, if we get to the bottom of this, we might be able to save their asses as well.’ Gail said it dispassionately, like this wasn’t family she was referring to, like they didn’t matter. Holly saw right through it.

‘Holly, if they have Gail’s family, chances are they’ll go after yours,’ Nick said before Holly had a chance to respond, ‘Oliver has a good friend in Vancouver – Pete Nicholls. They went through the Academy together and he can be trusted – he went to your parent’s house. They’re already on the road.’

Holly had known, had anticipated this was coming. She wasn’t stupid. The whole conversation had been a lead-up to this but still it hit her like a psychical blow. ‘But where are they going?’ she asked, her voice small and a little shaky. Never had she imagined that her parents would be dragged into this—that there lives would be at risk too.

‘Pete has a cottage outside of Vancouver. It’s isolated. They’ll be safe there.’

‘I need to speak to them,’ Holly said, ‘explain everything.’

‘Not possible,’ Nick shook his head,’ they left their phones behind in case they could be traced.’

‘But they won’t understand. I haven’t even told them about Gail.’ She hated that she had to admit this in front of Nick, hated that he might think Gail meant less than everything to her.

‘They don’t know about me?’ Gail asked, her voice so quiet Holly sensed she was hurt but goddamit she had no right to be and anyway she and Nick shouldn’t have discussed her parents without involving her.

‘I never had a chance, Gail. We were over so quickly, there seemed no point before, and now,’ Holly made a rueful face, ‘I couldn’t tell them I was having a relationship with someone who was basically a non person, who I couldn’t even be seen with in public, who was so elusive I didn’t even have her phone number or in fact any way of contacting. Who would suddenly appear after I hadn’t seen her for months and then just as quickly disappear. They would have thought I was crazy.’

‘So you two have been together a while then,’ Nick grinned.

‘That’s your takeout from this,’ Holly turned on him, irritated. She was convinced Nick was finding the unfolding drama entertaining and Holly regretted feeling sorry for him a moment ago. Maybe she was reading too much into it, but he seemed knowing, like he was really saying ‘uh huh, another round with Gail the uncommunicative girlfriend. Yeah, I’ve been through that’. 

Nick held up his hands. ‘I didn’t know, that’s all. Explains why she’s nicer.’

Okay, so maybe Holly had read too much into Nick’s remarks.

‘Oh shut up Nick,’ Gail said but there was no bite there. She turned to Holly. ‘I’m sorry. We had to move quickly. I wanted to protect them, protect you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I should have told you.’ Gail looked so remorseful that Holly couldn’t help but take her hand again.

…………………………….

Dov was already at Carol’s apartment, sitting at the long dining table and tapping furiously on a laptop. He barely glanced up as Gail, Holly and Nick walked in but he looked as though he’d had little sleep. He took a gulp of coffee from a mug and gave a quick nod in their direction before returning to the computer. 

Carol’s place was much larger than the apartment Evelyn or Carla or whoever she was called rented in Holly’s building. The living area was a huge open plan space with the kitchen at one end and a big, floor to ceiling window with an enviable view of the city on the other. The rich smell of coffee made Holly suspect Carol had a real espresso machine and, sure enough, there on the bench was a gleaming silver appliance with pressure gauges and a steaming wand. Carol showed Holly and Gail to the guest room, where they stowed their few possessions. At least it had a real bed and not a mattress. They were going up in the world, Holly thought wryly.

She and Gail came back into back into the living area just as Dov exclaimed, ‘Bingo’ and practically leapt out of his seat.

‘You’ve hit the jackpot?’ Gail asked and arched an eyebrow, her tone so dry even Dov didn’t pick up the sarcasm. 

‘Might have done,’ Dov said, unable to supress his excitement. ‘From what I can tell the Brotherhood have been stockpiling acetone and pool cleaner.’

‘They’re making bombs,’ Gail said, suddenly serious.

‘’TATP or triacetone triperoxide to be exact,’ Holly said, ‘otherwise known as Mother of Satan.’ 

‘Yep,’ Dov nodded, ‘the go-to bomb for the terrorist who can’t get his hands on military grade explosives.’

‘Easy to procure but extremely volatile to handle and highly liable to self-detonate hence it’s nickname,’ Holly added, automatically caught up in the science.

‘Yep,’ Dov agreed, ‘that recent terrorist attack in Barcelona would have been much worse if two of the terrorists hadn’t blown up their house on the eve of the attack. They had a huge number of TATP bombs.’

‘Interesting the Brotherhood is making these kind of bombs. It’s normally something ISIS would use but I guess the Brotherhood doesn’t care as long as it does the job and TATP will definitely do the job. Plus ordering pool cleaner isn’t necessarily going to ring alarm bells with the authorities,’ Holly said.

‘When you two finish your nerd off, can we try and figure out what the Brotherhood plan to actually bomb?’ Gail grumbled but Holly could tell it was teasing. Still, she had a point.

‘Yeah, it’s not much help without a known target,’ Carol said a little sourly. It made Gail narrow her eyes at the agent. 

‘You haven’t found anything that might point to a target, Dov? Have they mentioned political figures or world leaders? Anyone scheduled to visit Toronto soon or an event with a mass of people, like the football,’ Nick suggested.

‘Nope,’ Dov said, ‘but Bram Johannson, leader of the Brotherhood said, and I quote “we will plunge Toronto into darkness before its true citizens can ascend again into a new period of enlightenment”.’

‘Doesn’t make a lot of sense,’ Carol pursed her lips, ‘it could just be religious ramblings. Those guys go in of that kind of hyperbole.’

‘True citizens, obviously they mean white people,’ Nick winced.

‘And preferably Christians,’ Gail added, ‘but why the need to put Toronto in darkness– metaphorically speaking. Why not go straight to enlightenment. Save a lot of bother.’

‘The power grid,’ Holly said suddenly, ‘the darkness isn’t metaphorical. Take out all the power stations and the city would be in chaos. It would shut down for months. Not to mention what it would mean for our economy.’

‘Wow,’ Dov said, looking impressed, ‘you know what, I think you’re right.’

‘It adds up,’ Carol nodded. 

‘Yeah, Holly you’re a genius,’ Gail smiled, and kissed her, heedless of the fact that Dov and Nick and even the annoyingly smug Carol were there. ‘An absolute fucking beautiful genius.’  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> An update for the New Year. Sorry for the long, long break between updates (but it’s been great to see so many other Golly fics posted). Hopefully, people are still reading this. If you are, let me know. Leave a comment—I love to hear from readers.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, kudos, subscriptions and bookmarks.
> 
> Hope everyone has a great new year and 2018.
> 
> Enjoy.

*****

‘You don’t like me very much do you,’ Nick asked Holly. He said it with a smile. One of his trademark boyish grins that normally had people eating out of his hand. Most people couldn’t resist Nick. It wasn’t just the good looks and attendant assurance or the calm authority, no Holly realised it was the unshakable belief that he was a good guy which he carried with him like a torchbearer. Most people couldn’t resist Nick but not Holly.

Does it matter,’ Holly deflected coolly hoping Nick would take the hint and drop the subject.

‘I think so, now we’ve been thrown together,’ Nick smiled again. It was all there. That easy charm, that if Holly was honest grated on her more and more with each day that passed. ‘It might be good to clear the air, given what we’re—well, not to be too dramatic but what the country—is facing.’ 

‘Clear the air.’ Holly arched an eyebrow. She wished she could channel some of Gail’s snark right now. ‘For the country’s sake or yours.’ 

‘Not sure what you’re getting at,’ Nick shook his head good-naturedly. ‘But just so you know, I’m no threat to you and Gail.’

‘You think that,’ she paused, unable to stop the look of incredulity that broke across her face, ‘that’s what this is about.’

‘Ha! So you admit something is going on here,’ Nick pointed between the two of them. He spoke jovially, but Holly gleaned an underlying triumph.

God, she hoped Gail finished in the shower soon. They were at Carol’s apartment. Nick was staying too, although all Carol had to offer him was the couch. This morning, he and Gail were resuming their search for the Brotherhood of Canada’s bomb-making lab. Dov had compiled a list of buildings owned or leased by members of the Brotherhood and homes they frequented, but so far nothing had panned out. ‘It’s literally a needle in a haystack scenario,’ Gail confessed to Holly, ‘it will be sheer luck if we find it.’ Still, each day she doggedly pressed on. The gang from 15 had been pitching in when they could get away from work and even sometimes while on shift, contriving to drive by warehouses or search abandoned buildings. 

‘I get why you’d feel insecure,’ Nick continued, unfazed by Holly’s lack of response. ‘Gail and I have history, a lot of history. We almost got married.’

Holly had to resist the urge to laugh out loud. She wanted to point out that ‘almost’ was the operative word. Almost but didn’t. Instead she said, ‘When Gail was barely eighteen and rebelling against her parents and all they stood for. And for the record, I don’t feel insecure.’

Nick smiled knowingly and didn’t say anything. He’d obviously decided to wait Holly out. 

‘And you left her at the altar,’ Holly said, the bitter edge to her voice impossible to mistake.

‘So that’s it,’ Nick sighed. He wasn’t smiling anymore but his expression was still infuriatingly genial. ‘You hate that I hurt Gail.’

Perhaps he was more perceptive than she gave him credit for, Holly thought. She had started to nod, to concede that Nick was right, when he spoke again.

‘You would know Gail’s not always an easy person to be with. I mean she’s a firebrand alright and charmingly capricious—that’s part of the attraction isn’t it. But there’s a flip side. Those same things can be so infuriating and make her so self-destructive and cold and being with her so defeating,’ Nick looked directly at Holly as if expecting confirmation of what he said.

‘Not the girlfriend type,’ Holly said blandly, giving no indication how odious she found his comments and even more his attempt to make her complicit in them.

‘Exactly,’ Nick started and then caught himself. ‘Wait, she told you I said that.’

Holly nodded. ‘You know what Nick, I don’t see Gail like that.’ She felt surprisingly composed, given she should have been angry with him but she wanted to set the record straight, to disavow Nick of his self-serving misapprehensions. Something, she decided, it was best to do in a level-headed way.

‘I guess she’s changed,’ Nick offered, though there was something doubtful in his tone. ‘And I guess I hurt her.’

‘Not just hurt her but you made her feel unworthy, like she was never good enough. Like she deserved to be second best.’ When Holly finished speaking she saw that Nick’s head was hanging down, and she wondered if he was ashamed at having put Gail through that.

‘I’m not proud of that,’ Nick said, looking up, ‘that’s not who I am.’

Ah, so it wasn’t regret. Rather, his treatment of Gail had shaken Nick’s worldview of himself, the all round nice guy. 

‘But Gail and I, we had a volatile relationship. She drove me to do things I wouldn’t normally—‘ Nick stopped abruptly when he realised Holly was staring at him unmoved.

‘You didn’t know how to love her,’ Holly said quietly.

‘Nick opened his mouth and then shut it quickly before finally speaking. ‘No, I didn’t,’ he admitted, his voice quiet now like Holly’s. ‘But even if I had, we would never have lasted.’ Nick paused again. Was he coming up with another of his self-serving excuses, Holly wondered? ‘Because,’ Nick continued, ‘what we had came nothing near to your and Gail’s relationship. Not that I’m using that as an excuse for behaving badly,’ he added hastily.

‘We were both asses,’ Gail said, as she came into the room and flopped down on the couch next to Holly. Her hair was still wet from the shower and sticking out at odd angles. She kissed Holly on the cheek and grinned impishly. ‘Good thing you didn’t know me then, Holly.’ When Holly didn’t smile, Gail asked ‘is Nick being a dick.’ That made Holly want to laugh. Gail always picked the mood in a room.

‘I, well,’ Nick started and then faltered as the two women looked at him expectantly, like they were certain that what next came out of his mouth would confirm he was indeed being a dick. ‘I guess I was,’ he conceded with a self-deprecating smile. Was it sincere or was he falling back on the boyish charm, beating a hasty retreat in the face of this scrutiny, Holly wondered.

He and Gail left soon after. They were almost out the door, when Nick turned around.

‘I’ve got her back, Holly,’ Nick said, exuding strength and reliability, like his word could be counted on. Holly so wanted to believe him. His words took her back to the day of the Ford shootings when Chris had said something very similar to Steve. She supposed it was a police thing, a reflex that was as much a talisman as a reassurance. 

Dov appeared soon after somehow managing to look both eager and grim. Holly could tell the task of locating the bomb-making lab appealed to his inner nerd, but with each day that dragged by without a result, Dov became a little more despondent. It had fallen to Holly—forced to stay put and recuperate—to provide pep talks. Holly was not by nature a cheerleader nor someone used to be idle so before long she started making helpful suggestions and soon became as much involved in the search as Dov. 

They worked well together, a fact that had made Gail roll her eyes exaggeratedly. ‘At least I feel like I’m doing something to help,’ Holly told her, ‘I don’t wanna be the third wheel.’ Gail had smiled and kissed her, knowing how much she hated not contributing, and then joked, ‘Nicholas is the only third wheel around here.’ 

Which was true, although the same could be said of Carol. Not that she was around much. She frequently disappeared to meet with contacts who supposedly might have information and whose identity seemed shrouded in mystery. Of course none of them did know anything, at least anything that might help, and Holly speculated anew whose side Carol was really on. She must have said it out loud because Nick quickly assured her that ‘Carol was solid’. When Carol was there, she spent a good deal of time flirting with Nick, even when discussing the investigation. Clearly Carol swung both ways, or did the flirtation have a sinister agenda? Maybe it was her way of throwing Nick off the scent.

One night when they were lying in bed and the sound of Carol’s trilling laugh carried in from the lounge room, Holly raised it with Gail. ‘We’ve talked about this—if she wasn’t on our side, we’d be dead by now. Not to put too fine a point on it,’ Gail ended half-apologetically. Holly had made a face not wanting to concede Gail had a point. ‘You just hate that she tricked you,’ Gail teased. Did she resent Carol because she had duped her, Holly wondered. Was Gail right, was that what was behind her unease? She liked to think she wasn’t so egocentric.

Now, Dov pushed back in his chair and let out a frustrated sigh. ‘It’s like it’s—‘ he broke off.

‘Searching for a needle in a haystack,’ Holly suggested.

‘Yep,’ Dov agreed. ‘And right now I’m stuck for ideas.’

‘Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way,’ Holly mused. ‘Maybe we need to broaden our search.’

‘Broaden?’ Dov raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘I’m not sure how much broader we can go.’

‘Actually, refocus is a better way to put it, and on something closer to home.’

‘Refocus,’ Dov began doubtfully. ‘Oh wait, do you mean CSIS?’

‘Exactly. CSIS has safe houses. What if the CSIS traitor has let the Brotherhood use one of them.’

‘It would be a smart move.’ Excitement gathered in Dov’s voice as he spoke. ‘I’m guessing the exact location of those places would be closely guarded.’

‘On a need to know basis,’Holly suggested.

‘Yeah, so only a handful of people in CSIS would know or have access to addresses. It’s probably the last place they’d expect us to look.’

Holly nodded.

‘Wow,’ Dov said with the same mixture of admiration and awe he’d shown when Holly figured out the Brotherhood planned on attacking the power grid. ‘You’re wasted in forensics.’

‘You mean I could have skipped those eight years of study,’ Holly joked. ’Imagine all the money I could have saved on college tuition.’

Dov started to chuckle, then stopped. ‘Wait, didn’t you win a scholarship or something?’

‘Uh, yeah, ‘Holly said a little diffidently. She never liked to big note herself, much less boast about her accomplishments. ‘How did you know that?’

‘Gail,’ Dov said simply. ‘Back when you were dating that first time. I’d never heard her speak like that—you know with pride and admiration—about anyone she dated before. Certainly not Nick or Chris but, to be honest, they both let her down. Actually, we all did.’ Dov shook his head, the levity of a moment ago gone.

‘You’ve got her back now,’ Holly said, unconsciously echoing Nick’s words of earlier. ‘That means a lot to her.’

Dov made a face.

‘Anyway,’ Holly continued, ‘this is not getting us any closer to the bomb-making lab. If the location of the safe houses is so secret what hope have we of finding them.’

‘Jordan—Traci’s fiancé. If he’s half the analyst he’s supposed to be, finding the addresses will be a breeze.’

‘But it could also put him in danger. The CSIS traitor is sure to be on high alert. Surely they’d notice if someone starts sniffing out safe houses. Don’t forget Jordan has already been warned to back off. Chances are he’s being monitored.’

Dov held out his hands in a helpless gesture. ‘What other choice do we have. It’s a risk we have to take.’

……………

‘No,’ Carol said with finality, ‘it’s too risky.’

It was early evening. Carol had returned home at the same time as Gail and Nick and the three had listened as Holly and Dov outlined their theory.

‘Seems to me we don’t have any choice but to ask Jordan,’ Gail said quietly.

‘That’s what I said,’ Dov nodded.

‘And Traci said Jordan wants to help,’ Gail added.

Carol blew out a breath. ‘How do we even know we can trust him?’

‘Same way we guess we can trust you—he hasn’t turned us in,’ Holly said. She wasn’t accustomed to speaking so directly. Then again it was rare she was in a position where her judgement was called into question, at least professionally. Carol’s assumption she knew best—that she was the final arbiter—rubbed Holly up the wrong way. 

Carol sucked in her teeth—which if anything made her look even more rodent-like—with a sort of tsk that to Holly sounded awfully like disapproval. 

‘Frankly Carol, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what you think,’ Gail said. She didn’t raise her voice but her look of disdain made it clear what she thought of Carol. ‘I say we talk to Jordan. See if he’s willing to do it.’

Carol started to make a noise of protest but Gail cut across her. ‘Nick, you with me?’ She looked sharply at her ex.

‘Uh,’ Nick sat upright in his chair. Holly couldn’t shake the impression that the question startled him. ‘Yeah, of course.’

Carol’s cheek twitched. A little pulse of annoyance. ‘Alright,’ she finally said, ‘but only if Jordan is completely okay with it.’

After that Carol went to her room to make a call. Holly asked if they should be concerned.

‘She’ll be calling the boss,’ Nick said. When Holly looked puzzled, he clarified, ‘Alec Cohen.’

‘Not tipping someone off?’ Holly arched an eyebrow.

‘No. Carol’s okay.’

‘Clearly your definition of okay has changed since last I saw you,’ Gail said.

‘Well, she’s prickly but she’s on our side,’ Nick shrugged, that easy smile on his face again, like he was amused by Gail’s bluntness.

‘That’s what you keep saying,’ Gail made a face.

*****

Jordan showed up an hour later. Gail had called Traci to get his number and later told Holly that Traci hadn’t seemed in the least surprised, in fact her tone implied she wondered why they had taken so long to ask for Jordan’s help. For an analyst, Jordan seemed like an easy-going kind of guy. Handsome but in a gentle way, his oval-shaped face open with full lips so prettily bow-shaped they could have belonged on a woman, but yet which added to his air of amiability. His black hair was cropped close in soft whorls and he had just the suggestion of a beard, neatly trimmed so you knew the look was deliberate rather than unkempt. 

For some reason it pleased Holly that Jordan was nothing like Steve Peck, either in appearance or temperament. He certainly had none of Steve’s arrogance or swagger. She realised then that it was for Traci’s sake, this relief at Jordan’s difference. Traci, of anyone, deserved to be happy. Holly smiled inwardly, knowing that Traci had said something very similar to Gail just before Gail had acted on her attraction to Holly.

There’s sure to be a database with safe house locations but it’s best I look into once I get into work tomorrow,’ Jordan was explaining. ‘Less chance of being detected if it comes from the internal network.’

‘How easy will it be?’ Gail asked.

‘Easy,’ Carol’s face was sulky. ‘Don’t you mean how hard?’

Gail scowled at her.

‘It shouldn’t be too hard. I know my way around the network. I just have to do it without raising suspicion.’

‘Any chance the database could have been altered to remove the address of the safe house?’ Gail asked.

‘If you were using a safe house unauthorised it would be sensible to do that, but I can recover any deleted files. Make sure nothing has been erased.’

Gail nodded.

‘I’ll be in contact if I find anything.’ Jordan started to get up from his chair. He was tall. Over six foot and moved with the grace of a dancer. ‘Or even if I don’t, I guess.’ His smile was rueful.

Gail saw him out. When she returned, it was clear Carol was unhappy, her face sour like she’d eaten something bad.

‘We are being too quick to trust this guy,’ she exhaled heavily, crossing her arms for emphasis.

‘Perhaps you’re just paranoid,’ Gail said with a saccharine smile. ‘Too long a spook.’

‘Jordan’s okay,’ Dov ventured, the tension between the two women making him timorous. Still, his loyalty to Gail and Traci pleased Holly.

‘Did it ever occur to you what a coincidence it is that Traci is dating someone from CSIS,’ Carol said. There was something jubilant in her manner, like she’d dealt the trump card.

‘If that was the case it would mean the CSIS traitor is playing an extremely long game,’ Holly said evenly. ‘Setting up someone to not only date but then become engaged to Traci on the off chance Gail would contact her. Until recently the traitor had no reason to think Gail was onto him or her anyway.’

Gail smiled gratefully at Holly. The logic of Holly’s argument appealed to Nick as well. ‘It makes sense, Carol. You have to admit that,’ he said.

Carol didn’t reply immediately but her mouth tightened in displeasure. ‘I suppose.’ It was begrudging and curt. Not long after, she excused herself for bed. 

Dov was due in nightshift and said his goodbyes. Just as he reached the front door, he turned. ‘I think Carol is just being cautious. I don’t think we need to distrust her.’

‘Yeah,’ Gail said, not sounding entirely convinced. ‘I guess being a pain in the ass is not a crime.’

Holly smiled at that. Soon after, she and Gail went to their room.

‘You are truly awesome,’ Gail said as she settled into bed next to Holly, her smile wide and something very much like awe in her expression. Holly looked at her questioningly, and Gail added, ‘to make the safe house connection.’

‘It may come to nothing,’ Holly brushed off, her smile a little shy. ‘Anyway Dov and I figured it out together.’

‘Pfft,’ Gail waved her hand. ‘Still doesn’t make you any less awesome.’

Holly didn’t say anything. She was quite suddenly overtaken by an urgent lust, so that all she could think about was the need to be as physically close to Gail as possible. So she kissed Gail, wantonly, sensually, her intent impossible to mistake.

‘Your injury,’ Gail demurred after a moment, pulling back from the kiss.

‘It’s okay. It’s almost all healed. See.’ Holly pulled up the sleeve of her t-shirt to show Gail. Even in the darkened bedroom, illuminated only by a strip of light refracted from the neighbouring building, you could tell that the wound on her arm had healed well. 

Gail breathed out a ‘wow’. 

‘It was just a nick and it’s been over a week,’ Holly said, more to convince Gail that it was okay to continue with what they had started than to explain why the wound had healed so quickly.

‘Wow Holly, just wow,’ Gail said, huffing a little as if she were annoyed, although the corner of her mouth curled in a way that suggested she was suppressing a grin. ‘Do you excel at everything you do, even healing?’

Holly laughed and again didn’t answer but pulled Gail back into a kiss. It wasn’t long before clothes were discarded. Later when Gail had her head between Holly’s legs and her mouth on her clit, Holly mused how easy it was to get lost in this, but it was only a momentary reflection because Gail pushed one and then two fingers inside her and Holly was tumbling over the edge fast, incapable of any speech apart from calling out Gail’s name and any thought but that this was perfection. 

They were loud, even though they tried not to be, but the apartment was not overly big. Afterwards Holly wondered if Nick, huddled under a blanket on the couch outside their room, had heard them (and blushed when she realised of course he must have). Gail’s hands and mouth again cut short this speculation. Instead Holly gave herself over to a delicious surrendering and wondered how she had ever imagined she could give up Gail.

Much later still, when they lay close together, satiated, soporific, limbs languorous from their activities—Gail with an arm slung across Holly’s middle and her head nestled into her shoulder—the two of them shrouded in a kind of hushed reverence that often followed their love-making, Holly decided that this too was perfection.

These moments with Gail held an exquisiteness such that Holly had not known before. As she drifted into sleep, Holly wondered if these moments would become a permanent, an everyday thing for she and Gail. Would they be allowed a future free from threat and danger and—thinking back to that first time they were together—discord of their own making. She didn’t believe in destiny—her scientist brain would not countenance it—but was it their fate to always rub up against obstruction.

‘We make our own fate,’ Gail’s voice, a whisper really that Holly felt against her skin, came out of the darkness. ‘It’s how we deal with adversity that makes us who we are.’

‘You sound like my mother,’ Holly chuckled and kissed Gail on the top of her head. ‘How did you know what I was thinking anyway?’ Was it possible Holly had said that bit about fate out aloud?

Gail shrugged and tightened her arm around Holly. ‘We’re going to make it, Holly,’ she said, even though her voice was sleepy, the determination in it was impossible to miss. Despite her fears, Holly couldn’t help but be suffused with optimism at Gail’s resolve.

*****

‘Did you sleep alright, Gail?’ 

It was Nick speaking. Gail had left the bedroom door open and from her place lying propped up on the pillows on the bed, Holly could hear he and Gail moving around in the kitchen getting breakfast.

‘What are you implying Nicholas?’ Gail was prickly despite the teasing note in Nick’s voice.

‘Nothing,’ Nick’s tone was still affable. ‘It’s just from where I was sitting it didn’t sound like you were getting any.’

There was the clatter of a spoon as it dropped on the kitchen counter. Gail, Holly guessed. 

‘Oh I got some alright Nicholas.’ Gail’s voice was sickly sweet and Holly could imagine her arcing an eyebrow. ‘But don’t you think it’s a bit creepy for my ex boyfriend to take such an interest in the sex I’m having with my girlfriend, much less eavesdropping.

There was silence for a moment. ‘I didn’t mean,’ Nick started, uncharacteristically flustered. He paused again. ‘As long as you’re not sleep deprived. We need to be at the top of our game right now,’ Nick finished a little lamely

‘Whatever, Nicholas.’ This time Holly imagined Gail waving her hand dismissively or more likely rolling her eyes. 

Soon after, Gail came back into the bedroom to say goodbye. She lay against the length of Holly, dipping her head down for a kiss. She tasted like coffee but Holly didn’t mind, reaching up to pull her closer and intensify the kiss, tongues now sliding against one another in a way that usually led to only one thing. Somehow Holly’s hand travelled down to Gail’s ass and, even though physically separated from Gail by the duvet, Holly felt a stirring low in her belly. The wonder of sex with Gail was the more you had the more you wanted.

‘Later nerd,’ Gail grinned, pushing herself up and off the bed, clearly cognizant of the effect she was having on Holly.

The rest of the morning passed slowly. Carol left soon after Gail and Nick, the decision having been made to keep searching for the bomb-making lab while they waited to hear from Jordan. Dov wasn’t due until the afternoon, needing to catch up on sleep after night shift. Holly herself dozed fitfully until mid-morning and then ate a leisurely breakfast. She wished there was something more she could do to help. 

The enormity of what lay ahead of them was not lost on Holly. Even if they located the lab, how could they carry out a raid without the might of the police force behind them? In any case, they’d need the bomb squad, especially if they were dealing with something as volatile as triacetone triperoxide. If they did manage to bust the lab, how then could they expose the CSIS traitor or people like Frankie or Gail’s cousin Blake? They needed solid evidence but so far the traitor and his or her cronies had managed to cover their tracks well. The large payments into Blake’s bank account being the only exception. 

Then there was the question of the Pecks. Over the last few days, Holly had tried to talk to Gail about them but Gail had brushed her off. At least Oliver, bless him, had got word via his friend that Holly’s parents were safe. Holly felt a tear form in the corner of her eye. She shook her head. This was no time to be self-pitying she remonstrated herself. She needed to hold fast to Gail’s conviction that everything was going to work out.

Holly logged onto Carol’s laptop but then stared blankly at the screen. Gail might think her awesome but she was out of inspiration. Okay, so it had been established that the traitor had to be one of the three most senior people at CSIS. Carol was betting it was the number two or three—both were women and time and again references had been made to a boss who was a woman. Holly thought back to the evening they sheltered in Evelyn’s (well Carol’s) apartment and overheard the two goons talking. It seemed like months had passed since then but it was less than a fortnight ago. 

They needed profiles of both CSIS women, Holly decided, wondering if that was possible to obtain or if CSIS closely guarded information about their senior operatives. Why hadn’t anyone thought of this before? It seemed an obvious avenue to pursue. Holly was just trying to figure out why this might be the case when Nick burst into the apartment. He was wild-eyed and red-faced and panting like he’d been running hard. Holly knew immediately something had gone wrong. Very little appeared to ruffle Nick, with the exception sometimes of Gail’s barbed comments.

‘Frankie Anderson has arrested Gail,’ Nick blurted out. He didn’t need to say anything more because Holly knew if Frankie was bent, if she was working with the CSIS traitor or the Brotherhood, then Gail was as good as dead.


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> Here at last an update! It has been a long time in the writing – so apologies if it is disjointed but it got to a point where I just needed to post it. Life just got hectic for all sorts of reasons and there just wasn’t time to write (even though I was itching to). Great to see so many other fics being posted though.
> 
> Thanks to all the readers still hanging in with this fic and Breaking Through, and the new ones that have come on board. I’m going to update Breaking Through next.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this. It’s full of a lot of explanations, which hopefully will clear things up to a degree (and hopefully it's not so long between updates that everyone has forgotten what’s going on!). Apologies for mistakes. Let me know what you think. I love hearing from you.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  
‘Okay, so did you actually see Frankie cuff Gail,’ Traci asked. She spoke patiently like they had all the time in the world. Most people would mistake her tone for concern and think her questioning was unhurried because she didn’t want to pressure Nick in his present state. Holly knew better. It was Traci’s interrogation voice. She’d been on the receiving end of it enough times when Traci was trying to get her to spill about Gail’s whereabouts. Knew too how easy it might have been to be lulled by that apparent gentleness, to be tricked into thinking Traci was someone with whom you could share confidences.

Nick’s story had been garbled at best except for the fact that Frankie had Gail. No one remembered seeing Frankie at 15 that day. Holly wondered why this made a difference. ‘It means she’s acting outside of law,’ Chris had explained almost apologetically. ‘She hasn’t taken Gail back to the station to charge her.’ Which in the scheme of things would have made things simpler. At least they’d know where Gail was. 

A call to Oliver confirmed it was, in fact, Frankie’s day off. Traci put him on speaker and Holly could hear the worry lacing his words. It was decided he should stay at the station in case Frankie showed, but he made them promise they’d call if he were needed. ‘I’m off shift in an hour anyway and I’ll come over. I’ll get a message to Noelle too.’ 

Now everyone stared at Nick as they waited for a reply to Traci’s question. He was seated at the kitchen table but leaning over with his face in his hands, his wide shoulders hunched dejectedly. That made Holly mad. Nick had no right to give up on Gail. Finally Nick looked up. ‘Was she cuffed? I,’ he began and then hesitated. ‘It happened so fast.’

‘You’re a trained police officer and an intelligence operative, not to mention ex army, and you’re telling us you can’t remember what you saw?’ Holly’s voice was icy. She and Traci couldn’t have done better if they had planned this good cop bad cop routine. Except it wasn’t a routine. She desperately needed to find out what had happened to Gail. ‘So,’ she demanded.

Nick flinched like he’d been hit. He rubbed the back of his neck just below where he had actually taken a blow to the head. At least that much was true. Holly had examined his head and cleaned up the blood, and then rooted around in Carol’s refrigerator for an ice pack, which now lay abandoned on the kitchen table, a thin sheen of condensation forming as the liquid inside melted.

‘I was pretty groggy after,’ he pointed shakily to the back of his head. ‘I saw Frankie leading Gail away and push her into the car so I guess she was cuffed.’

‘Was anyone with Frankie?’ Traci asked.

Nick started to shake his head and then stopped because it clearly hurt. Good, thought Holly. If she’d had time to consider, she might have been shocked at her spitefulness. Later she’d reflect that Nick seemed to bring out the worst in her. 

‘So did Frankie hit you on the back of the head?’ Holly jumped in.

Nick looked sheepish. ‘I dunno. Maybe. I didn’t get a look at the person.’

‘But they took your phone and wallet?’ Dov said. He sounded like he was trying to puzzle something out that didn’t make sense. 

Nick nodded.

‘And you didn’t see your attacker coming?’

Nick shook his head again. After he had burst into the apartment with the news that Gail was gone, Holly had called Traci. The detective was at the apartment within ten minutes bringing Dov and Chris with her. By then, Holly had managed to get out of Nick that he and Gail had been checking a house belonging to an associate of the Brotherhood. 

Being on foot, Gail thought they’d be noticed if they hung around on the street for too long. It wasn’t exactly the kind of neighbourhood where people went out for a stroll. In any case, the window blinds were drawn and there was no sign of any activity in the house. Nick had been convinced it was unoccupied. 

Just as they were about to call it quits, a convoy of three vans, with back windows blacked out, pulled up and went down the narrow driveway that curved around the back of the house. A pick-up followed. Gail recognized it as belonging to her cousin, Blake—the very truck she and Holly had ‘borrowed’ to drive to the woods the day she taught Holly to shoot. Blake was driving but sitting in the passenger seat was none other than Detective Frankie Anderson. ‘I knew it,’ Gail had said. ‘Anderson is in deep’. A laneway ran behind the house and Gail suggested they take a look round the back. Next thing Nick knew he was coming to and could barely stand.

He was still woozy. Holly could see that. She suspected a mild concussion—the running here wouldn’t have helped—but she didn’t have room for sympathy right now. Just for a moment the doctor in her felt a little guilty and the humanitarian in her was a little surprised at her callousness. At least Nick raised the alarm as fast as he could, persuading a passing motorist to drive him into the city and then sprinting the rest of the way to Carol’s apartment. Holly was about to concede that when something occurred to her.

‘Why didn’t you ask the Good Samaritan motorist to call Traci or Oliver? Why wait until you got here?’ she asked.

‘I wasn’t thinking straight.’ Nick rubbed his hands vigorously against his face as if in some sort of torment. 

Was the anguish real? Holly couldn’t help but feel there was something manufactured about it, that Nick was overstating it for her benefit. But Nick was solid. Everyone said that. He was the type you could rely on, not some double- dealing double-crosser. She wanted to believe that, she really did but right now Nick wasn’t giving them anything concrete which could lead them to Gail. Nick shifted uncomfortably and Holly realized she’d been starring at him intently. The others hadn’t said anything either and she wondered if they were waiting for her cue. Holly sighed heavily and twisted her mouth.

‘Did you at least check out the house when you came to?’ Dov asked, breaking the silence. ‘Make sure Gail wasn’t in there.’

‘Yep I did, I did,’ Nick said, clearly relieved to be interrogated by someone other than Holly. ‘The cars were all gone. The blind in the kitchen had been pulled up so I could see inside. It looked like the place had been cleared out.’

‘I don’t get it,’ Chris said, ‘where was Gail when you got hit. Why didn’t she help you?’

‘Um, we weren’t together.’

‘You what?’ Holly asked. 

‘I,’ Nick got up a little unsteadily from the kitchen table. ‘I was the lookout. Gail went to check the back of the house.’ He took a glass from the draining board and, filling it with water, took a greedy, almost desperate gulp. Then he turned back to face the group, a sort of little boy lost expression on his face. 

That’s what really tipped Holly over the edge. Some part of her brain—the rational and compassionate part—registered that Nick simply felt guilty for letting Gail down and that was why he looked so crestfallen, but her fury was such that she pushed that thought aside. Reflexively, she was up out of her chair. 

‘You were the lookout and you, what, looked the other way when Frankie appeared, when Gail needed your help most.’ She took a step towards Nick, never taking her eyes off his face.

‘I,’ Nick held up his hands helplessly. ‘I already told you. I was knocked out cold.’

‘You promised me Nick. You promised you’d keep Gail safe. The last thing you said when you left here this morning was that you had Gail’s back.’ Holly kept advancing towards Nick, jabbing her finger in his direction every time she said ‘you’, which seemed to further underline his culpability. Nick shrank back against the kitchen counter until Holly was standing right in front of him, now stabbing her finger into his shoulder. ‘You’ve never had Gail’s back. You’ve never looked out for her. You’re not even trying to remember what happened.’

Nick’s eyes widened and he looked around at the other three for help, but not one of them made a move to intervene. Traci crossed her arms, her expression stony, and Dov and Chris looked studiously at their feet.

‘How do we know you didn’t just hand Gail over. You swept in here all Mr Nice Guy, like you were going to save the day, like a fucking night in shining armour and you couldn’t even keep Gail safe. One simple task.’

‘I,’ Nick stuttered, ‘I’m sorry okay. Holly, I didn’t do this deliberately. I’m as cut up as you are.’

‘Cut up,’ Holly was aware her face was flushed. She was certain she had never felt this angry in her entire life. It was a rage that stretched her skin so tight it surely would burst. It filled her head with white noise and literally made her see red. But as angry as she was with Nick, it was herself she cursed. Why had she trusted Nick to look out for Gail? How foolish to put her faith in a man who had let Gail down so many times before. 

‘We’ll find her,’ Nick tried for a conciliatory smile. ‘I promise.’

‘You promise,’ Holly echoed in disbelief. ‘Your promises are worthless.’ Her voice, which up to now had been surprisingly level, was starting to rise. She had a sudden urge to hit Nick—to punch him in the face over and over. The violence of this impulse shocked Holly but it didn’t stop her from jabbing his shoulder again. ‘You wanna help find Gail, then start remembering what happened.’

Nick swallowed. ‘I don’t know,’ he began but Holly cut across him.

‘No more excuses, you ass.’

It was then that Holly heard it. Gail’s laugh—actually it was more like a chortle—the one she used when she couldn’t contain her glee at some idiot or scumbag being cut down to size. Holly froze, her finger suspended comically mid-jab. Surely she was imagining it. Surely it was just like before when Gail slipped in and out of her life, as insubstantial as a chimera, more in Holly’s head than ever actually physically present. Back when she was nearly driven crazy trying to work out what was imagined and what was real and if she’d ever see Gail again. 

‘Gail?’ Nick said her name like a question, like he didn’t believe what he was seeing, and then again, ‘Gail?’

Jeez, was he hallucinating, Holly wondered. Had the blow to the head affected him more than she thought?

‘Really Nicholas, I thought you were smarter than that,’ Gail drawled.

Nick stared uncomprehendingly.

‘At least, not stupid enough to cross Holly. I mean she literally knows about a hundred ways to dispose of your body, Nicholas.’

Holly spun around then and there was Gail with a big grin on her face. However, neither Gail nor her gleeful demeanour was the most surprising thing about the sight that greeted her. No, what made Holly hesitate for a second, her normally big brain taking a moment to compute, was the fact that Frankie Anderson was standing next to Gail. 

Holly felt the others tense and saw Traci put a hand in her jacket where her gun was holstered. But rather than threating, Frankie looked bored and disinterested, like she’d rather be anywhere else than here in this room. What was she doing in Carol’s apartment and why had Gail brought her back here? 

‘Aren’t you a little bit pleased to see me?’ Gail grinned again. ‘None of you losers glad that I’m safe no thanks to Nicholas.’

For a fraction of a second nobody moved but then it was as if they all let out a collective sigh of relief. Holly took one, then two and three steps towards Gail, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. Gail made a little oof noise but as Holly pulled back she saw she was smiling, but in a way that was shy, even contrite. 

‘Sorry,’ Gail said softly, ‘for making you worried. And you’re not a loser by the way.’

Holly shook her head to indicate it didn’t matter, her relief at Gail’s return eclipsing all else. They both grinned then and gazed at each other, forgetting about everyone else in the room. Holly couldn’t say how long they remained that way but the sound of Frankie coughing self-consciously pulled her back to reality. She realized Frankie was staring at them with a look of distaste, like they were literally something the cat had dragged in. 

‘What are you actually doing here, Detective Anderson.’ The question came out frostily, which had not been her intention. Gail’s lips twitched in amusement. Frankie seemed momentarily taken aback. Bet you weren’t expecting me to say that, Holly thought to herself, looking directly back at Frankie, her face as censorious as the detective’s.

When had she stopped being a nice person, Holly wondered. When had she become the sort of person who imagined, even fleetingly, beating Nick to a pulp or who snapped at Frankie Anderson? Holly had a reputation among her friends and even colleagues for being warm and caring, overly so sometimes. Lisa frequently reminded her she was a pushover, particularly when it came to Gail. It probably explained why she put up with Lisa or so she told the plastic surgeon. Normally, though, Holly felt nothing but goodwill towards people, unless they proved to be assholes. Frankie certainly fit that category. There was no denying Holly’s last few encounters with the detective had left her with no reason to be well disposed towards the woman. 

‘Nice to see you too, Holly,’ Frankie drawled, managing to sound insulting and flirtatious at the same time. ‘Seems like you were hiding Gail under your skirts after all. I knew it all along.’ She smirked at Holly, altogether too pleased with herself.

Holly pursued her lips in irritation. ‘But you couldn’t prove it,’ she said tartly. 

Holly felt rather than saw Gail place a hand gently on the small of her back. ‘Holly,’ Gail breathed softly, leaning in so she was practically murmuring into Holly’s ear. ‘Everything okay?’ It wasn’t really a question. No, Holly got the sense it was said to placate. Oh shit, Gail was worried she was about to lose it.

Holly heard the others shift uneasily behind her. It was so unlike her to be deliberately rude they probably thought she’d finally become unhinged. That she was about to get into some sort of face off with Frankie. Well, dammit she had every right to be unhinged, even if she wasn’t. People wanted to kill her and Gail (and the jury was still out on whether Frankie was one of those people). Even her parents weren’t safe. The Pecks had been kidnapped, Gail’s partner murdered, and with each passing day the chances of stopping the Brotherhood seemed less and less likely.

Frankie at least appeared unperturbed by Holly’s antagonism. ‘You’d really dispose of a body if Gail asked,’ she said, seeming both sceptical and impressed.

‘If it was yours I just might,’ Holly said without thinking. Gail laughed out loud, and Holly could make out Chris and Dov trying not to snicker. Frankie’s expression returned to its habitual sneer. 

‘Okay, what is going on here?’ Nick asked, sounding both at a loss and exasperated.

‘It’s a long story and I don’t even know the half of it.’ Gail made it sound like listening to Frankie’s explanation was in itself an ordeal, never mind being nabbed by her.

‘Well, we need to hear every detail,’ Traci said firmly, looking directly at Frankie who shrugged like that was no big deal. ‘But,’ Traci held up her hand, ‘wait til Oliver and Noelle get here. No point repeating yourself.’

‘Carol’s on her way too,’ Gail said, holding up her burner phone to show the message.

After that Traci suggested a cup of tea and Chris set about making a pot. When Oliver showed up he drew Gail into a huge bear hug, which she didn’t resist. In fact she seemed to linger in his embrace. It made Holly think that despite her bravado, Gail was more shaken up by the events of the morning than she was letting on. Noelle and Carol appeared soon after and then all eyes turned expectantly on Frankie. The tension in the room was such that Holly suspected the band from 15 wouldn’t go easy on Frankie if they decided she was bullshitting them.

It transpired Frankie had figured out that Blake not Gail was the bent Peck. Elaine tipped her off. Simple as that. Frankie had paid the elder Peck a visit in prison, hoping to get information about Gail’s whereabouts. Elaine had remained tight-lipped but on Frankie’s fourth and final visit had relayed her suspicions about her nephew and suggested Frankie look into the bank accounts of both Blake and his disabled brother. 

At that stage, Frankie only suspected Blake of being involved in illegal gun sales but Swarek made the connection with the Brotherhood of Canada. Not that they had any idea what the Brotherhood had planned, just that they seemed to be mobilising. That much Swarek had been able to ascertain. 

Frankie swore Sam hadn’t helped Bram Johannson dodge assault charges—there wasn’t a lot Swarek could do when the victim withdrew his statement and refused to testify, she reasoned. Regardless, Johannson was convinced Sam had a hand in the charges being dropped and decided he must be sympathetic to the Brotherhood’s cause. Swarek didn’t disabuse him of the notion, figuring it could come in handy if the Brotherhood was ever under investigation. 

In the intervening ten years, their paths inevitably crossed, which was no surprise given how closely the Brotherhood and its members skirted to breaking the law. Johannson always treated Sam as something of a buddy. A few months before the whole thing blew up with Gail, he actively sought the detective out, took him drinking on what became a regular basis. Swarek got the distinct impression he was being pumped for information about the police. It was Johannson who told him Gail had been supplying the Brotherhood with ‘hardware’ as he called it, and it hardened Swarek’s resolve to go after her. 

‘So if you realised Gail wasn’t the bent Peck, why were you going after her and why knock Nick out and anyway what were you doing in Blake’s truck?’ Chris asked, his brow knitted perplexedly.

The very questions had been on the tip of Holly’s tongue and she mentally cheered Chris for asking.

‘It’s complicated,’ Frankie said.

Of course it is, Holly thought to herself. She must have made a noise of opprobrium because Gail nudged her gently. Still, Holly saw the corners of Gail’s mouth quirk before she quickly schooled her expression and returned her attention to Frankie. 

Holly and Gail were seated on the couch and flanked by Noelle and Traci. Carol and Nick were each in an easy chair, while the others including Frankie were perched on hard backed chairs that had been dragged in from the kitchen. They formed a sort of semi-circle around Frankie, almost like they were part of a  
self-help group and Frankie was about to make her confession, but rather than being supportive or cosy, the arrangement had the air of an interrogation, or so Holly felt.

‘So enlighten us,’ Traci said.

‘Swarek and I figured if anyone knew what the Brotherhood was up to, it had to be Gail. The Superintendent,’ Frankie stopped and then corrected herself. ‘Elaine Peck hinted Gail was involved in something covert and we guessed you losers,’ Frankie paused and looked around the room, ‘wouldn’t protect Gail if she were corrupt. All I wanted to do was talk to her. See if we could combine forces to stop the Brotherhood.’

‘Why not come to one of us,’ Traci asked. ‘If you suspected we were working with Gail.’

Frankie shrugged. ‘I wasn’t sure who to trust at first. Elaine Peck believes a senior officer or officers in the force may be covering for the Brotherhood and could have recruited others to his or her cause.’

‘You really think I’d sign up with a bunch of white supremacists,’ Traci said with disbelief.

Frankie grimaced at that. ‘You were pretty hell bent on finding Gail. I didn’t know if your motives were good.’

‘My motives,’ Traci raised an eyebrow. ‘Wow, you’ve got nerve Anderson.’

‘Okay, okay. I admit it. Originally Swarek and I thought Gail was bent. We might have been a little over zealous, especially with Dr Stewart.’

‘You reckon,’ Gail said.

‘So,’ Holly said slowly, choosing to ignore Frankie’s grudging admission. ‘This whole Brotherhood thing—is there any chance it’s being allowed to play out to expose the full extent of the corruption?’

‘That was the Super—Elaine’s guess,’ Frankie said. She regarded Holly appraisingly, surprised and not a little impressed that Holly had made the connection.

‘The long game,’ Holly nodded, her animosity towards Frankie forgotten as she started to put the pieces together. ‘The foot soldiers are always expendable.’

‘Yep,’ Frankie agreed.

‘Can someone explain what you’re talking about’ Chris said. ‘Is this some kind of code you guys have or something?’

‘Yeah, it’s totally a lesbian thing,’ Gail deadpanned, and when Chris started to say ‘ohh’ like he got it, she rolled her eyes. ‘You doof Chris. What they mean is the Brotherhood could be shut down tomorrow but then we’d probably never find out who’s actually behind this. I’m guessing this is bigger than we think. If the Brotherhood carries out its plans, it will be easier to flush out the real masterminds. If that means civilians or people like us get killed in the process,’ Gail shrugged, ‘well, we’re just collateral.’

‘The greater good—sacrifice some for the many,’ Holly winced. She wondered if this was what Carol’s boss, Alec Cohen believed. If he was willing to see Gail and even Carol die to get to the bottom of this. The answer, simple and frightening but nonetheless irrefutable, was yes. Cohen didn’t have an emotional connection to Gail or even Carol so the decision was easy. 

It made Holly wonder what she would do if forced to choose between saving Gail or hundreds maybe thousands of her fellow citizens or even a dozen. It was one of those iniquitous equations—a question of morality— you were damned no matter which choice you made. Deep down Holly knew how she would react and it filled her with a deep sadness. She wasn’t trained to protect and serve like Gail, but it didn’t make her any less conscious of her duty to others. After all it was the desire to help that had made her pursue forensics.

‘So Alec Cohen doesn’t want us to stop the Brotherhood,’ Dov said, catching on to Holly’s train of thought.

‘Not just yet anyway,’ Frankie said. ‘That’s my guess.’

‘Man that’s, that’s kinda twisted,’ Chris shook his head. Then he frowned. ‘But I still don’t get why you knocked out Nick or why you were with Blake Peck.’

‘And,’ Holly said, realising Frankie’s story didn’t completely add up, ‘you said Elaine only told you about Blake being bent and it was Swarek who figured out the connection to the Brotherhood. But now you’re saying you’ve discussed it with Elaine.’

‘I have,’ Frankie said cockily.

‘When?’ Gail turned on Frankie, her face flat.

‘Jeez Peck dial it down a notch. Who do you think got your family out of prison and hidden away safely? The three of them are with Swarek in Porcupine. Last place on God’s earth anyone would go looking for them. Unless we can get a secure line, its too risky to talk to them right now.’

‘Why hide them?’ Gail demanded.

‘Elaine knew too much.’

‘What’d you mean?’

‘Like the name of the traitor in CSIS.’ If Frankie had been full of herelf a moment ago, now she was downright smug. 

‘How would she know that?’

‘Your mother is a smart woman and ambitious, or at least she was. She kept tabs on a lot of people in the force and even the intelligence community. That kind of information is useful when you want to get ahead.’

‘Know your enemy,’ Gail said bitterly.

‘And who to schmooze,’ Frankie added. ‘June Smith was police before she moved across to CSIS. Elaine always had her suspicions about her.’

‘June Smith. The number two at CSIS. She’s the traitor?’ Gail asked.

Frankie nodded.

‘But that doesn’t make sense. The Brotherhood have very old-fashioned ideas about gender roles,’ Traci said. ‘I can’t see them answering to a woman.’

‘Conveniently they seem to be able to ditch their doctrine when it suits them. They worked with Gail didn’t they,’ Frankie said. ‘Anyway Elaine believes Smith is using them for her own ends.’

‘To cause disruption—social chaos,’ Gail said unhurriedly, like she was figuring it out as she spoke. Frankie nodded again. ‘And then what—a state of emergency will be declared and Smith will seize power on the pretext of doing what’s best for the country?’ Gail asked, not sounding completely convinced.

‘Something like that,’ Frankie said. ‘Just before she was arrested, Elaine got wind of a secret consortium who believe Canada—in fact the western world—has become too liberal and dissolute. They want to see a return to traditional values—you know back to the good old days of the 1950s. They think government has failed the country and people have lost faith in our institutions and it’s time for them to step in and take control.’

‘Make Canada great again,’ Dov said sarcastically, which earned a grimace from Holly.

‘And by using the Brotherhood to set off a chain of events, no one will know they have blood on their hands,’ Oliver shook his head.

‘And June Smith heads this group?’ Traci asked.

‘She works for them. Elaine’s not certain of the membership but believes it includes some so-called pillars of the community. Judges, bankers and industrialists. Maybe even a media magnate. Elaine thinks they use Smith as a conduit to bankroll the Brotherhood.’

‘So was the ghost unit Gail belonged to set up specifically to bring the consortium down?’ Noelle asked.

‘It would seem so. Only problem is Smith got wind of it. Looks like Gail’s the only one from that unit left standing.’

‘Smith had the rest killed?’ Holly asked. She felt a chill down her spine. Even though she knew the Brotherhood was gunning for Gail, somehow it made it worse that she was the only one of the unit who remained. No doubt it would act as a spur to June Smith to finish the job, especially if she was someone who didn’t like loose ends.

‘Well, she got the Brotherhood to do the dirty work, but yeah she made it happen,’ Frankie said.

‘Just hang on a minute,’ Chris shook his head in confusion. ‘How do you know all this stuff about the Brotherhood?’

‘I confronted Blake about the guns. Persuaded him to cut me in on the deal. I’m about as popular as Gail is in the force so it wasn’t hard to persuade him I’d turned. No offense Peck, but he is dumb as shit.’

‘You reckon,’ Gail rolled her eyes.

Frankie ignored her and continued. ‘That house you were at today is rigged with surveillance. You were spotted out back, Gail. Blake told me take care of you. I thought it was some sort of test but then he pulled me aside and said to rough you up, enough to incapacitate but not kill you. He said you were blood and he wouldn’t have that on his conscience.’

Gail snorted at that.

‘They hadn’t made you Collins, but I’d seen you,’ Frankie continued. ‘I couldn’t risk you interfering and one of the Brotherhood thugs deciding to put a bullet in the back of your skull so I knocked you out. Took your wallet and phone to give myself a head start. I needed to talk to Gail, convince her that Swarek and me are on her side.’

Frankie stopped. Holly had the sense she was unused to talking so much. She was normally aloof. Taciturn. That was a good word to describe her.

We think they’re going after the police,’ Frankie said.

‘Why?’ Gail asked baldly.

Frankie shrugged. ‘Swarek said Johannson insinuated as much. Said they were going to expose our political leaders for the self-serving sycophants that they are by destroying the enablers and gatekeepers.’

Holly held her breath. Bram Johannson had said the same thing to Gail.

‘A blow to authority,’ Gail said

‘Yeah,’ Frankie bobbed her head in agreement in what for her passed for enthusiasm. ‘That’s exactly what he told Swarek. I hate to tell you but with Blake’s help the Brotherhood has amassed quite an arsenal, enough for a small army. Blake’s even got them bump stocks like the Vegas shooter used.’

‘The guns are for us?’ Traci asked.

‘Yep,’ Frankie said. ‘They plan on targeting metropolitan police stations. I heard one of them say it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.’ She winced. ‘Blake corrected him and said pigs in a barrel.’

‘Why is Blake going along with this?’ Dov asked. ‘He’s talking about murdering fellow officers.’

‘He’s always felt like an outsider,’ Gail said. ‘Too stupid to get ahead, he only got as far as he did because he’s a Peck but he’s an entitled ass who thinks he deserves more. Blames everyone else for his lonely, miserable life. I doubt he ever felt any loyalty to the force—it was just a pay packet. Better than bagging groceries, which was probably his only other option.’

‘Loose canon,’ Noelle offered.

‘You bet,’ Gail agreed.

‘So, if Blake wasn’t exaggerating that means the Brotherhood intend wiping out as many police officers as possible as well as taking out the power grid. It’s guaranteed to cause maximum chaos,’ Oliver said.

‘The power grid—is that what you figured out?’ Frankie asked.

Dov nodded. ‘They’ve been stockpiling enough chemicals to make some very nasty bombs.’

‘Makes sense. Swarek and I suspected they had something big planned. Destroying the power grid—that could put Toronto out of action for months,’ Frankie paused.

‘Perhaps even years,’ Holly said. 

‘Wait, wait,’ Chris held up his hand. ‘Anderson you’re telling us the Brotherhood trusted you with this information even though you shot one of their own.’

‘You mean Judd,’ Frankie said. ‘They wanted him out of the way. Johannson suspected he was wavering and was worried he’d go to the police. They’re all getting a bit paranoid the closer it gets to D Day. Blake asked me to take care of Judd.’

‘You agreed to kill him?’ Noelle asked sharply.

‘Yes but that wasn’t my plan. I figured if Judd was vacillating and if him knew the Brotherhood wanted him dead, I might be able to persuade him to snitch on the Brotherhood. I was tailing him that day he shot Holly. I wanted to have a chat with him.’

‘But you shot him instead,’ Chris said.

‘Yeah, well the way he was gunning for Peck and Holly, seems like he wasn’t wavering after all.’

‘I guess we’ll never know,’ Gail said.

Frankie arched an eyebrow, her expressions incredulous. ‘No need to thank me for saving your lives,’ she said sarcastically. ‘It was my pleasure.’

Gail looked at her doubtfully.

‘I never would have let that happen,’ Carol butted in. Seemed like she was every bit as irked by Frankie as Holly was. ‘Shooting Judd was stupid. We lost a potential “in” to the Brotherhood.’

Frankie scowled. ‘What is it? Kick Frankie day or something? I keep saving all your asses and this is what I get.’

‘No, no Anderson,’ Oliver smiled genially, clearly sensing the need for damage control. ‘It’s not like that. We’re all a little on edge and this is a lot of information to digest. We need to figure out what to do next.’

‘Put a tail on June Smith,’ Holly said.

‘For starters,’ Carol said, flashing Holly a slightly patronizing smile like the idea was so obvious it didn’t need stating.

‘Why weren’t you tailing the CSIS suspects before?’ Holly asked with a touch of belligerence. She hated that Carol treated her like some ingénue who had no idea how the business of crime fighting worked. Well, sure, her reaction on discovering Gail was going back on the street with that maniac Ford on the loose was pretty naïve. But that was one time. In her defence, it was more about Holly’s instinct to protect Gail, and yes a fear that having found Gail, having finally made clear her feelings and learnt they were reciprocated (something she had not dared to hope), she was about to lose Gail.

‘There weren’t enough of us and we had several suspects but now we know which of the CSIS directors to target it’s doable,’ Carol said.

‘Okay,’ Oliver agreed. ‘I’m guessing Smith is at work.’ He looked across at Carol. 

‘Most likely,’ Carol concurred.

‘We need to divide this into shifts. Carol and Frankie, you take the first one. Dov and Chris you need to get back to 15 before someone misses you.’

‘I can do second shift,’ Nick offered. He had been uncharacteristically quiet during Frankie’s revelations and it occurred to Holly the concussion might have knocked him around more than she realized or had indeed had allowed. He certainly didn’t sound as sure as he normally did. She felt a pang of guilt then that her need to find Gail had superseded any concern about his psychical wellbeing.

‘Are you okay, Nick?’ She asked now, conscious of how lame the question sounded and how belated it was.

Before Nick could you reply, Oliver spoke. ‘You need to rest up Collins, am I right doc’. Oliver smiled at Holly who nodded in confirmation. ‘So you’re coming back to my place. I’ve got a spare room now Izzy’s gone to college, and I’m guessing it will be more comfortable than the couch.’

Nick smiled weakly. 

‘You need to check him every two hours,’ Holly blurted out. ‘I’d say he was concussed. Ask him his name, the date, that sort of thing. Look for signs of confusion, fatigue, nausea or vomiting, and headache, dizziness,’ Holly paused.’

‘Yeah, I know the drill,’ Oliver said kindly. ‘This old noggin,’ he pointed to his head, ‘has connected with a few blunt instruments and a good number of fists in the line of duty. And Celery will be home in a few hours so she can help out too.’

‘I can do the second shift,’ Gail drew herself up in the chair. A part of Holly wished she wasn’t quite so eager to be a part of this, but duty always came first.

‘No my Peckling, best you don’t come out until dark,’ Oliver smiled.

‘Always knew she was a vampire,’ Frankie sniped.

Holly found herself rolling her eyes.

‘You need to keep a low profile right now, especially if the Brotherhood thinks Frankie’s dealt with you. We don’t want them a, taking another pot shot at you, or b, getting suspicious about Frankie.’ Oliver finished, ignoring Frankie’s interjection.

‘Traci and I can do second shift,’ Noelle offered.

‘That means you and me on night shift Peck,’ Oliver grinned. Gail gave a quick nod, clearly satisfied she could play a part.

‘Everyone happy?’ Oliver clapped a hand on Frankie’s shoulder, which made her flinch. Not that he’d used much force but Holly suspected Frankie, a little like Gail, didn’t like being touched by other people. 

‘We’d better turn up something soon,’ Frankie said gloomily. ‘Blake told me to put Gail out of action for a few days at least. After that he said it wouldn’t matter and then he laughed.’

‘What were Blake and those vans doing at the house? And why does it look abandoned.’ It was Nick who spoke, struggling a little to sit up in the easy chair.

‘They had stockpiled some of the guns there. Johannson ordered them to move them to another location,’ Frankie explained.

‘And the other location?’ Nick asked.

‘No idea. Blake didn’t tell me. I would have had a chance to find out if you and Gail hadn’t blundered in.’

‘Blundered,’ Gail repeated. Holly felt her stiffen.

‘Alright, alright, happened along,’ Frankie’s smile was pure saccharine and completely fake. She really was unbearable, Holly decided. ‘I got the impression the new location was more secure, maybe even the main base for the Brotherhood’s operations.’

‘Okay,’ Oliver said simply. It puzzled Holly that he didn’t mention their theory about the CSIS safe house but then no one else was volunteering that information either. Maybe they didn’t entirely trust Frankie after all.

After that Frankie and Carol made preparations to leave. Carol it seemed had a second car, far gutsier than the little metallic blue Nissan Micra she had driven to pluck Holly and Gail off the sidewalk, but nonetheless a discreet sedan that would blend in traffic.

Just before she left, Frankie turned back to Gail. ‘There is something else.’ She hesitated as if reluctant to speak.

‘What,’ Gail didn’t conceal her impatience.

‘The last time I saw your mother she asked, actually practically begged me to look out for you.’

‘My mother doesn’t beg,’ Gail sad coolly.

‘Well, this time she did. Said she’d got you involved in some dangerous shit. Wanted me to make sure you got out alive.’ Frankie gave an awkward half-shrug.

When the door shut on Carol and Frankie, everyone was silent for a moment. Oliver rubbed his face with his hands. ‘When you get off duty,’ he said, addressing Dov and Chris, ‘I think you need to see if you can track Blake Peck down. It’s time we had a chat with him.’

‘Most definitely,’ Dov agreed.

‘And don’t tell Anderson for the moment.’

‘Are you unsure about Frankie?’ Holly asked. Had they literally just let their enemy walk in the door and if so had they signed their death warrants? ‘Why didn’t you tell Frankie we think the Brotherhood could be using a CSIS safe house?’ 

‘Probably doesn’t hurt to keep something in reserve,’ Noelle answered for Oliver. ‘Until we’re completely sure.’

‘Any word from Jordan on the safe house?’ Gail asked.

‘Not yet,’ Traci sighed.

Shortly after the other six left, but not before Holly had made Oliver and Nick promise they’d call if Nick showed signs of deteriorating. 

‘I’m okay,’ Nick reassured her, the easy smile back, but Holly wasn’t so sure he was putting on a brave face. 

Finally, Holly and Gail were alone in the apartment. It seemed unnervingly quiet after the noise and turmoil of the last few hours. 

‘What do we do now?’ Holly asked. It was mid-afternoon and Gail wasn’t due on the stakeout with Oliver for another five hours. If Holly knew anything about Gail, she wouldn’t be happy that she’d been sidelined for the moment.

Sure enough Gail admitted ‘I feel useless just sitting around.’

‘Can we trust Frankie?’ Holly asked quietly. It had bugged her that neither Gail nor the others were willing to definitive about the woman. The detective had promised to find a way for Gail to speak to Elaine but until that happened, Holly still had her doubts about Frankie.

‘I think so.’ Gail bit her lip and for a moment looked a little lost. Over the past few days she had tried to mask her doubts, in part to shield Holly, but also because admitting to them meant allowing that defeat was a possibility. That, Holly, knew, was not in the Peck lexicon. Failure was not an option. 

It made her heart break a little that Gail couldn’t completely break away from that. Elaine Peck had thoroughly inculcated her daughter so no matter what, no matter Gail’s fears or the weight of this terrible responsibility or the cost to herself, Gail would see it through. It was her duty after all. 

Gail sighed. ‘No, I’m sure. Frankie’s solid.’ It was the sigh that made Holly wonder whether Gail was trying to convince herself as much as Holly.

‘Not that long ago you wanted to shoot Frankie,’ Holly smiled, her voice lightly teasing.

‘Who said I’d changed my mind on that,’ Gail snorted, a mischievous expression overtaking the uncertainty that was there a moment ago.

Holly smiled crookedly. Gail leaned forward, the mischievousness replaced by something that if Holly had to put a name to she’d call love sickness, if there were such a thing. It was goofy and cute and Holly was about to remark on it when Gail surged forward and kissed her. The kiss was firm and passionate and Gail didn’t waste time, her hand already beneath Holly’s shirt and on the underside of her breast. 

It seemed to unleash a need in both of them, and as if by mutual agreement, though no words were spoken, they shed their clothes, each helping the other, so it became a desperate and haphazard tugging and Holly was certain she heard her shirt rip. Gail pushed her back on the couch, her hand now between Holly’s legs.

They were taking refuge in sex, Holly knew that, but then again they couldn’t do the normal things that most girlfriends did, like going to the movies or out to eat. Or lazily while away hours getting to know one another, discovering those seemingly inconsequential facts, the stories from childhood and college, the disappointments and triumphs, the fears and the hopes, the myriad details which taken as a whole were important because they made up a person. The sum is greater than its parts, Holly thought, realizing she didn’t even know Gail’s favourite colour. The exigencies of their present circumstances left no time for that now. Even less so given Gail’s current attentions. 

Gail was slowly peeling Holly’s boy shorts down her legs, stopping every so often to place a kiss upon Holy’s stomach, then her inner thighs and behind her knees, before discarding the underwear and coming back up to kiss Holly. Her hands were firm against Holly’s cheeks, her tongue gliding against Holly’s, every action expert and fluid, like she knew Holly’s body better than Holly did.

‘We shouldn’t be defiling Carol’s couch,’ Holly gasped, some small part of her brain congratulating her on being capable of coherent thought at this particular juncture.

‘Why not,’ Gail’s smile was wicked. ‘She’s an ass.’ Her hand was now on Holly’s clit, and without preamble she pushed two fingers inside her. Holly’s hips rose and Gail smiled. She stilled her fingers. ‘Want me to stop?’ Holly shook her head and the wicked smile was back on Gail’s face. 

She began to slowly push her fingers in and out of Holly, occasionally brushing her thumb against her clit. Dipping down to take one of Holly’s nipples in her mouth, Gail scraped her teeth against it and then unhurriedly bit down. The pace was agonizingly slow but it was working Holly up. She could tell this knowledge was acting as a spur for Gail to draw this out. Holly thrust her hips upwards, trying to speed things up.

‘Patience,’ Gail smiled languidly, looking up from between Holly’s breasts. She placed a third finger inside Holly, pushing in deeper this time so Holly moaned.

‘Oh god, you are so good at this,’ Holly breathed.

‘Good?’ Gail said teasingly, straightening up slightly and stilling her fingers so they rested just inside Holly, the weight of them tantalizing and excruciating in the best possible way. ‘I’m awesome at this.’ Gail grinned that shit-eating grin of hers and Holly gave a deep-throated laugh.

After that Gail didn’t prolong things any longer and Holly felt inordinately grateful. She came hard, the violence of her orgasm surprising even Gail, and Holly couldn’t help but think that Gail had always been good at this. 

Even that very first time, when Holly had expected her to be a little awkward and possibly fumbling, Gail had touched her with such assurance. Later, Holly couldn’t help but remark on that. It was when they had finally stilled, Gail lying against Holly’s side, the beating of their hearts beginning to calm but their bodies still thrumming. Gail’s face was so open Holly felt bold enough to say it out loud. Gail had shrugged like it was no big deal. 

In hindsight, Holly realised she shouldn’t have been surprised. When it came to sex, there was nothing of the coolness that usually hung about Gail. That much Holly had guessed before they had slept together. In those early weeks when they were dancing around one another, each trying to believe it was just friendship, on more than one occasion Holly had caught herself daydreaming about what it would be like to be touched by Gail. And then in turn to lay her own hands upon Gail’s body, to drift kisses down her spine, to place her tongue upon—and there Holly would stop before it became a full-blown fantasy because Gail was straight and Gail was her friend, right? 

The reality when they had sex for the first time—shucking off clothes still wet from the shower and laughing as the now too-tight jeans stuck around their ankles making both of them stumble and Gail grin and say ‘smooth, real smooth,’ (whether she was referring to herself or Holly it was hard to tell) and then still laughing tumbling into bed, not caring that their skin was damp or that Gail was barely sober and maybe they should wait but they couldn’t stop—oh the reality had been beyond Holly’s wildest imaginings.

It hadn’t taken Holly long to figure out that Gail’s aptitude came not just from that unreservedness or indeed enthusiasm about sex but an ability to read people’s bodies. The sex was so good had Holly not already fallen for Gail, it may have been enough to make her. 

Now as Gail made her way back up Holly’s body to kiss her, Holly took stock. Somewhere in that frenzied clash she had become completely naked. Gail was still wearing one sock as well as her boy shorts and Holly could see the tell-tale damp patch that had spread across the crotch.

‘Bedroom,’ she said and Gail nodded in agreement. Holly stopped to scoop up their discarded clothes and straighten the cushions on the couch before following Gail. Holly smiled affectionately at the sight in front of her. Gail was swinging her hips exaggeratedly and it may have almost been sexy but for the lone sock still on her foot. She turned at the doorway and grinned back at Holly, clearly aware of the ridiculous figure she cut. 

‘You are a dork,’ Holly laughed, catching up to Gail and kissing her.

‘But you love it,’ Gail grinned against Holly’s mouth.

And that, Holly realized, was another reason sex with Gail was so good. The playfulness. It was there from the start and it was this that had in fact really surprised Holly. Gail normally held back until she was sure, her scorn shielding her uncertainties. Holly gave a sharp intake of breath as all these years later she recognised what this meant. She should have seen it from the way Gail looked at her in the bathtub, her newly shorn hair giving her the gamine air of a pixie, her gaze open and vulnerable, like she trusted Holly completely. What Holly hadn’t quite realised was how extraordinary it was for Gail to give herself over like that. But she hadn’t seen it because she was too busy concealing how hard and fast she’d fallen for Gail. Instead Holly had cradled her feelings, not daring to speak those words aloud, too scared of chasing Gail away to let her own guard down.

‘I should have told you how I felt about you,’ Holly said.

Gail raised an eyebrow in question, clearly amused by Holly’s sudden segue.

‘When we first dated. I should have said I was crazy about you. I was worried I’d send you up into that tree. But you trusted me and I didn’t see that and so I didn’t say anything and then Lisa said those things. If only you’d known how I felt then we probably wouldn’t be here in this mess. You’d still have your job at 15 and we’d living in my townhouse and—‘ Holly was interrupted by Gail kissing her. It was a gentle kiss, and yet Holly sensed in Gail a regret for what could have been. ‘Too much talking?’ she asked when they broke off. 

‘Way too much,’ Gail said and pulled Holly into the bedroom

The sky was darkening by the time they finished and the room was full of the twilight’s uneven shadows. Gail was tracing lazy circles on Holly’s stomach with her fingers. It was soothing and unhurried, like they had all the time in the world to lie here like this.

‘You know I’m not afraid of dying,’ Holly’s voice came out of the gloom. She hadn’t meant to be dramatic. It was true though, she’d seen enough of death—every stage of decay the body went through after death—to find it foreign. If not for the fact it meant she could give people answers, and sometimes even a measure of peace, her work would have been a grim task. Sometimes Holly did feel like she walked with death. It didn’t frighten her though. It was just a fact. It was the thing that made living a good life, a worthy life imperative, and to waste no time on pettiness or fear. If only she had realised that when she and Gail first dated.

Gail shifted to look at Holly, her face tipped upwards. ‘But?’

How did she do that, Holly wondered, how did Gail know there was a but—that there was more to be said, that Holly hadn’t yet exhausted the topic.

‘But I’m scared of not having enough time with you.’

Gail gave a small smile. It didn’t exactly fill Holly with confidence. Gail hadn’t rushed to reassure her that her fears were unfounded and there would indeed be time for them. But then how could she? Holly was no fool. She knew the odds were stacked against them. Even with Frankie on board, the chances of stopping the Brotherhood were slim.

‘I’m coming with you and Oliver tonight,’ Holly said with sudden resolve.

‘What? ‘Gail tensed and stopped her fingers on Holly’s stomach. ‘That’s—‘

‘That’s what I’m doing,’ she said firmly before Gail could finish the sentence and tell her it was a crazy plan. ‘The more of us the better right?’

‘But,’ Gail started.

‘I know I’m not a trained police officer but I can use a gun, I’m observant and I can run fast and I’d rather go down fighting with you then be left behind.’

Gail sighed. ‘I don’t like it.’

‘I know you don’t,’ Holly rushed in again before Gail could mount an argument. ‘But stop treating me with kid gloves. We’re all in this together now.’

Gail bit her lip. She went to speak and then hesitated. Holly got the sense she was marshalling her argument but again didn’t give her a chance.

‘Neither of us can stand the thought of the other being in danger but right now,’ Holly shrugged, ‘that’s what our life is.’

Gail twisted her mouth unhappily and then pulled Holly to her with a desperate fierceness. 

The buzz of Gail’s burner phone startled them both so they jumped back. Gail bit her lip and eyed the phone suspiciously, like it was a harbinger of disaster.

‘Answer it,’ Holly urged in a whisper.

Gail almost pounced on the phone. ‘Yeah’ She listened for a moment. ‘Fuck. Okay, okay. I’ll call you back in a minute Anderson.’

‘What is it,’ Holly asked as Gail disconnected. She placed a hand on Gail’s arm.

‘Shit, shit,’ Gail pushed off the bed and pulled on a t-shirt and boy shorts. ‘Come with me.’ Then she was out the bedroom door.

As she pulled on her own clothes, Holly heard the sound of the television—a news bulletin. As she rounded the corner into the living room, Holly caught sight of something that made her stop dead. Carol had a massive TV—it had to be 70 inches or bigger—mounted on the wall. When you entered the room, your eye couldn’t help but be drawn to it. In fact when she first saw it, Holly had wondered why Carol had thought she needed something so ostentatious. But as she stood there, not moving and not quite comprehending, Holly’s attention wasn’t caught by the size of the TV but rather what was displayed upon it. 

There on the screen, larger than life, were two photographs of she and Gail. They had used the photo from Holly’s work pass except it had been doctored to look like a mug shot. Her face was elongated giving her an unnaturally high forehead and she had a sudden flash of the guy in Eraserhead. At least her hair wasn’t sticking up like she’d stuck her finger in an electric socket. Her skin was sallow and her eyes appeared to have deep rings under them. She guessed they had played with the colour contrasts. The whole effect, however, made her look shifty.

The photo of Gail was no better. Holly couldn’t tell when it was taken but Gail looked washed out, in fact paler than humanly possible. She wouldn’t have looked out of place on a slab in the morgue. Her bleached hair was scraggly and growing out so you could see the roots beneath. Gail had been caught mid-scowl and it made her seem both petulant and aggressive. A news ticker underneath the photos read ‘WANTED TERRORISTS’. Holly became aware of the newscasters saying words like ‘highly dangerous’ and ‘do not approach’.

‘Shit,’ she said, immediately conscious of the inadequacy of her response but not knowing what else to say.

‘We’re regular Bonnie and Clydes,’ Gail turned away from the television to look at Holly. Her tone was flippant but Holly heard the tension.

‘We’re screwed aren’t we?’

‘It’s upped the ante that’s for sure,’ Gail said calmly, too calmly.

‘But?’

‘But I’m not giving up.’

‘Never say die,’ Holly said. It was glib and stupid and she wondered how they had got to a point where they joked about this. Gallows humour perhaps? 

Gail laughed hollowly. ‘I can get you out of the country. Get you a new passport.’

Holly shook her head. ‘You can’t get rid of me that easily Peck. We’re in this together. It’s about time you realized I’m not going anywhere.’


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters…
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, bookmarks and subscriptions and for reading. It is always fantastic and inspiring to hear from readers and it’s nice to know there are a few of you still out there reading this.
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

The knock on the door startled them both. Gail had the television volume up so high Holly was surprised they heard the muted tapping. For a moment they looked at one another, frozen, their eyes wide and neither willing to voice their fear of who may be outside on the landing. Could they have been found out so soon? Was it the knock in the middle of the night, Holly wondered, suffused by a chill dread at the vision this phrase conjured of jackboots and disappearances and pitiless, hard-faced men.

Dramatic much, Holly chided herself, shaking her head to rid herself of the images, but then again given her present circumstances perhaps not such a stretch. In her past life, the ordered, predictable life she led before Gail crashed back into it, Holly wasn’t one to catastrophize. No Holly was known for her level-headedness, except perhaps when it came to Gail. Admittedly that mad dash to the station when Ford was on the loose was anything but rational. That aside, Holly was a scientist—she made decisions based on fact and observation, on suppositions that could be tested and proved, not wild conjecture. None of this was germane, of course, to their current predicament—to answer the door or not. 

Gail hadn’t moved but seemed to be listening intently. Then they heard Oliver’s voice. ‘It’s me and Chloe,’ he said simply, his tone so avuncular and laidback that Holly felt immediately better for hearing it. Just for a moment Holly, who didn’t know Oliver well but who had been the recipient of his kindness on more than one occasion, had this idiotic notion that if she were enveloped in an Oliver hug everything would be all right.

Gail checked through the peephole and pulled the deadbolts, opening the door halfway. Oliver slipped inside, quickly followed by Chloe. She was carrying a shopping bag and smiled brightly at Gail and Holly. Ever chipper, Holly thought, and then felt mean. In her defence smiling at a time like this didn’t seem right.

‘You’ve seen it,’ Oliver gestured at the TV where the photos of Gail and Holly were once again being shown with the headline, ‘Breaking News—major hunt for two terrorists’.

Gail muted the sound and made a face. ‘June Smith must have pulled out all stops for this.’

‘Yep,’ Oliver nodded gravely. ‘Jordan said she’s planted information in the CSIS database that indicates you two have a history of social disruption and have been on CSIS’ watch list for the past twelve months.’

‘Can he prove that,’ Holly asked, wondering at her composure given her identity seemed to have been stolen away from her. Quit with the histrionics an internal voice scolded her. Yeah right. Kind of hard to dial it back when every new day brought some fresh disaster to further unravel the life she had so carefully constructed. A living nightmare. God she wished this was a dream. Not the Gail part of course but the Brotherhood and June Smith and her crazy co-conspirators who wanted to turn the country into a neo fascist state. There would be no room for she and Gail in a place like that. No room for dissent, for people who were seen as other or indeed for decent people like Oliver and Traci’s fiancé Jordon who was risking everything to help them.

‘Jordan’s working on it,’ Oliver said reassuringly, ‘but it looks like Smith has covered her tracks well. Jordan said she has to have help from inside CSIS.’ 

‘I hope he’s watching his back,’ Holly’s brow creased with concern.

‘Yeah, don’t you worry about him. Right now we need to focus on you and Gail.’

‘We’re on every channel. Right now the only people in Canada who don’t know what Holly and I look like are probably in a coma. If we step foot out of this apartment we’ll be recognized. No question,’ Gail said, sounding more frustrated than angry. She was biting down on her lip and had had her hands on her hip and would have looked, to Holly at least, quite adorable, had the situation not been so dire.

‘That’s why I’m here,’ Chloe said, placing the shopping bag on the coffee table. She started rummaging through it and produced a pair of scissors. ‘Haircut time,’ she beamed.

‘No way! I’m not letting you near my hair,’ Gail protested.

‘Just a tidy-up. Your hair is looking as scruffy as it was in that photo,’ Chloe nodded toward the TV screen.

Gail twisted her lips. ‘Yeah a trim will really make a big difference. I bet nobody will recognise me.’

‘Not just a trim,’ Chloe said ignoring Gail’s sarcasm and pulling out a packet of black hair-dye.

‘Now you’re talking but you’re still not touching my hair.’

‘I’ll cut it,’ Holly offered, assailed by a sudden flash of Gail in her bathtub all those years ago, her face turned up towards Holly, so vulnerable and trusting. Gail must have remembered it too because she gave Holly a private smile and then she nodded her assent.

In the bathroom Chloe pulled out a barber’s cape.

‘You came prepared,’ Holly said.

‘I cut Dov and Chris’s hair. My aunt was a hairdresser and taught me a few things,’ she said chirpily.

‘Maybe you should cut Gail’s hair then. You’ve had more experience than me.’

‘Nuh uh. Holly, you’re cutting my hair,’ Gail insisted, tugging on Holly’s sleeve to show how adamant she was. She was seated on a low stool they had found in the kitchen and looked at Holly expectantly.

As Holly began to cut, Chloe mixed the dye. Holly took her time, carefully snipping. This haircut was a lot harder than the first one. Then Gail’s hair was such an unmitigated disaster—the pony tail hacked off so what remained stuck out asymmetrically like a bad imitation of Debbie Harry circa 1980—that anything Holly did could only make it better. When Holly finished, Gail looked in the mirror and smiled approvingly, just a little smile that barely touched the corner of her lips, but Holly understood its meaning. Chloe applied the black dye and swathed Gail’s hair in plastic wrap because she claimed it helped the dye take.

‘Okay. I guess it’s my turn,’ Holly handed Chloe the scissors, ‘you better make it short.’

‘Whoa Holly, no one said anything about you getting a haircut.’ Gail sounded and looked alarmed, but in the most endearing way like a child who just discovered Christmas was cancelled.

‘Unless you want keep me locked up inside this apartment like a modern day Rapunzel, I don’t have much choice.’

‘It’s just,’ Gail started and then stopped, a crafty expression spreading across her face. ‘Well, you could stay here until it blows over. You know, now you mention it, that’s a good plan. A great plan. People will be looking for two women and this will throw them off. Yeah, yeah great plan. Kinda genius really.’

Holly tilted her head to one side as Gail spoke, unable to suppress a smile. If Gail had hoped to convince Holly or sound remotely sincere she was failing miserably. She began to falter under Holly’s gaze. The idea of Holly staying put was idiotic and Holly could tell Gail knew it. Not even an hour had passed since Gail had agreed, admittedly reluctantly, for Holly to accompany her on the stakeout.

‘Nice try, Peck,’ Holly laughed and Gail had the decency to looked abashed.

‘Gail, do you have a thing for women with long hair,’ Chloe piped up.

‘Yeah, Gail is that what this is about,’ Holly teased, crossing her arms.

‘No need to gang up on me,’ Gail pouted. ‘And no. I’ve had things with short-haired women.’ She stopped abruptly and coloured.

‘Oh you have, have you,’ Holly smirked and raised an eyebrow.

‘That’s not important,’ Gail flapped her hands, clearly flustered. She looked across at Chloe and then back at Holly before lowering her voice. ‘I just like your hair,’ she confessed, emphasizing the word ‘your’, and then looking about the bathroom with a diffident air. 

Holly had a fair idea what that was about. Gail made no secret of the fact she hated sentimentality—indeed she had spent a lifetime making fun of people who were mawkish and saccharine—but what Gail hated even more was to be thought sentimental herself. Worse still was when people had the temerity to accuse her of being sweet or soft-hearted. Then Gail would fix them with a withering look and either punch them in the arm or excoriate them with equally withering words or sometimes both. Holly was the exception of course. 

When it was just the two of them, Gail could be disarmingly sweet and candid, Even then she was sometimes shy about professing her feelings, so they came out in a gruff or offhand way. Holly supposed that the fear of rejection lingered, too ingrained to shake entirely. If you didn’t say out loud how you really felt then people wouldn’t know they had stomped on your heart when they left. Except Holly wasn’t leaving this time and Gail seemed to accept that and it had made her bolder about making declarations, just not in front of other people. 

‘That’s so sweet,’ Chloe grinned.

‘Yeah whatever Price,’ Gail snapped. ‘You know I’m trained to kill with my bare hands.’

Chloe laughed like the idea of Gail hurting, let alone killing her was ludicrous. Gail scowled. ‘I know you are really a big softie,’ Chloe started to say as Gail’s scowl grew wider still.

‘I can’t be incognito unless I radically alter my hair,’ Holly broke in quickly, sensing she needed to intervene before this conversation escalated.

‘Not too radical,’ Gail said in a small voice and Holly was once again reminded of a child. ‘I can’t watch,’ Gail stood and pointed her index finger at Chloe. ‘But I swear to god Price if you make Holly look like Dov or Chris I will kill you.’

‘I’ll make you look nice,’ Chloe promised when Gail left the room and Holly was seated on the stool.

‘You’d better, your life depends on it,’ Holly grinned and they both laughed.

……………………………..

Gail was in the kitchen talking to Oliver when Holly emerged from the bathroom. Chloe had made good on her promise. Holly’s hair was short, the shortest she’d ever had it, and cut in a pixie style that was different to Gail’s. It was cropped closer to her head and Chloe had layered it to give it texture through the top, sweeping it to one side at the front so Holly had the barest hint of fringe.  
It made her cheekbones more prominent and accentuated her almond-shaped eyes. Holly had never thought she could wear short hair but as she had gazed at her reflection in the bathroom mirror she wondered if she should reassess that.

Gail stopped speaking when she caught sight of Holly and her mouth opened and then shut again. If she was trying to impersonate a gold fish she was doing a good job, Holly couldn’t help but think. ‘Wow,’ Gail said once she had regained control of her facial muscles. ‘It’s shorter than mine.’

‘And?’ Holly asked, keen for Gail to like it, even though she had never been one to seek people’s approval, particularly when it came to her appearance. ‘It’s just hair. It will grow back.’

Gail shook her head impatiently. ‘That’s not what I meant. You look,’ she hesitated and glanced across at Oliver, who was studiously maintaining a neutral expression. His eyes were narrowed to focus on some imagined object in the middle distance and he was trying so hard to appear disinterest it was almost laughable. Holly supposed Oliver, being the father of three daughters, had learnt it was wise to hold his council when asked for an opinion about their appearance, most especially when it involved a haircut that could not be immediately reversed.

‘You look amazing Holly,’ Gail finally breathed, obviously having decided it was safe to let her guard down in front of Oliver. That didn’t surprise Holly in the least. It was no secret she trusted Oliver. He was one of the few people who seemed to get Gail, and Holly guessed that was why she had so readily allowed him in. Another person who wasn’t ‘people’ in Gail’s lexicon. It meant Gail let him away with things most people would dare attempt with her.

‘Yeah,’ Holly said a little tentatively. Gail had taken a step towards her, blocking Oliver who was seated at the kitchen table so Holly couldn’t see his expression but she could swear he was smiling now. 

Gail took another step toward Holly and then another until she was standing directly in front of her. She leaned in to touch the short hair at the back of Holly’s neck, smiling as Holly gave an involuntary little shiver, and then ruffled the layered top.

Holly found herself grinning with relief. ‘Hey, don’t muss it up,’ she said, grabbing Gail’s hand.

Gail leaned in, her mouth close by Holly’s ear. ‘You look very hot,’ she whispered so only Holly could hear. Inextricably Holly found herself blushing.

‘Do you prefer it?’ she asked as Gail pulled back.

Gail didn’t immediately respond but looked at Holly for a few beats as if weighing up the question.

‘I like both,’ Gail conceded. ‘You’re beautiful either way.’

‘Is that praise I hear?’ Chloe said as she came into the room, clutching a bagful of hair. She had insisted on cleaning up while Holly showed off her new ‘Do’ as Chloe called it.

Gail rolled her eyes.

‘I think I might be more butch than you are, Gail,’ Holly said but then fluffed her hair at the back in such a dainty way it made Gail laugh.

‘Maybe,’ she smiled, ‘all you need is a flannel shirt and the look would be complete.’

‘It’s not that butch,’ Chloe protested, not picking up on the joke.

‘It’s okay, Price, you’ll live,’ Gail said, ‘for now.’

Oliver raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, so imperceptibly neither Gail nor Chloe noticed, but he was clearly amused. He hadn’t yet said anything about either Holly or Gail’s hair. Still when he caught Holly looking at him, Oliver smiled amiably and said, ‘it suits you, Holly.’ Then he clapped his hands together as if he had just at that moment recalled something of vital importance. ‘I am the bearer of food,’ he said, opening up a brown paper bag sitting on the table next to him. ‘Just sandwiches,’ he added apologetically.

‘Man, I’m starving,’ Gail said.

‘And that’s news because,’ Chloe quipped.

‘Very funny, Price,’ Gail rolled her eyes again. She grabbed a sandwich and then hesitated, looking at Oliver expectantly.

‘Tomato free,’ he said simply. 

Gail took such an enormous bite of the sandwich, the relish inside ran down her chin and she hastily wiped it away with the back of her hand before taking another mouthful. She was so intent on demolishing the sandwich she didn’t speak, apart from emitting the occasional hum of satisfaction. Her eyes were half closed as if she were experiencing something transcendental. 

Holly smiled. Gail was always like after sex. Ravenous. It was something of a standing joke between them. Oliver and Chloe would no doubt put it down to Gail’s usual appetite and sure enough Chloe said, ‘Gail, you have a crazy metabolism. If I ate like you I’d be a candidate for the Biggest Loser.’ Gail grunted non-committedly and took a final bite of the sandwich before reaching for another. Good thing Oliver hadn’t stinted on the sandwich order.

‘Frankie and Noelle are expecting us to relieve them in an hour,’ Oliver looked at his watch.

‘Frankie and Noelle?’ Gail said with surprise. ‘I thought Traci and Noelle were taking second shift.’

‘Leo’s got a fever. Nothing serious but he had to go home from school. His dad was supposed to have him today but cancelled at the last minute and Traci’s mom is out of town so Traci–‘

‘Had to cover for Dex’s selfish ass yet again,’ Gail finished.

‘Yep,’ Oliver nodded, ‘but Frankie volunteered to stay on surveillance. She and Noelle followed June Smith from CSIS headquarters to her house in Rosedale.’

‘It was probably too much to hope she’d lead us to the safe house,’ Holly said.

‘Yep,’ Oliver agreed.

‘One thing you should know,’ Gail said, ‘Holly’s coming with us.’ Gail tried to appear nonchalant, like this was no big deal. She casually took another bite of her sandwich as if she had not a care in the world and the idea that either Oliver or Chloe would object to Holly accompanying them had not crossed her mind. 

‘Is that a good idea?’ Chloe asked, her features crinkled with concern.

‘Is that what you want Holly?’ Oliver said before either she or Gail could respond to Chloe’s question.

Holly nodded. It seemed ridiculous to try and persuade Oliver with the argument she had used on Gail—but the fact was, like it or not, she was part of this thing and she couldn’t take a back seat and she couldn’t let Gail face it alone anymore than Oliver or any of Gail’s friends from 15 could. 

‘You are quite determined,’ Oliver asked gently, looking at Holly directly in the eye.

Again Holly nodded.

‘Alright then,’ he said, ‘the more the merrier.’ There was a graveness to his tone at odds with the apparent joviality of the words.

……………………………………………

When they finished eating Holly went to help Gail rinse the dye out of her hair. Holly had seen Gail with black hair once before the night she showed up in Holly’s apartment bleeding from a stab wound. Holly hadn’t taken much notice of Gail’s appearance then, distracted as she was by the red stain that was rapidly spreading down one side of Gail’s shirt, and the sheen of sweat on her forehead, and the way Gail swayed as she tried to remain upright. The following day, before Holly had had a chance to take stock, Gail was gone, hounded out by Swarek and Frankie. But now, as Holly watched the last of the dye run down the drain in the basin and then troweled Gail’s hair dry, she found she couldn’t help staring.

‘What?’ Gail asked. ‘Do you hate it?’

Holly shook her head. The new colour made Gail’s skin look even paler and her eyes stand out more, the black a dramatic contrast to the indigo blue. Gail looked completely different and yet entirely familiar and it took Holly’s breath away.

‘No,’ she smiled, ‘still kinda beautiful though.’ 

The reference to that first haircut in the bath was not lost on Gail. ‘Yeah, right,’ she said, allowing a bashful, little smile.

Even now, whenever Holly told Gail she was beautiful, Gail could be surprisingly reticent. Gail knew people found her attractive and was known to boast that she was hot and awesome and cool, but it hadn’t taken long for Holly to figure out Gail didn’t quite believe these things, or at least placed little worth on her own or others’ assessment of her looks. When Gail said she was hot there was a certain sardonicism to her words, a self-mockery that made it clear, if you bothered to pay attention, she didn’t expect to be taken seriously. Sometimes too it was just bluff and bluster to disguise her insecurities. Yet when Holly told her these things, Gail reacted with a curious mix of modesty and delight, as if the compliments were entirely unexpected, although not unwelcome. 

It made Holly wonder if Gail was unaccustomed to genuine praise. Holly knew Gail suspected most people flattered her not because they cared or could be bothered to really understand or know her, but because they wanted something. It had made Gail prickly and mistrustful and caused her to put up barriers to avoid hurt. 

It was different with Holly though. When Holly said something nice to Gail, she was reminded of a stray cat, nervous at first and skittish until it gradually came closer, finally allowing you to gently rub under its chin and then behind its ears. Before long it was purring and butting its head against your hand for more, and even stretching languorously to expose its vulnerable belly for you to stroke.

‘I’m going to take a shower,’ Holly said, leaning in to kiss Gail quickly. ‘I need to wash the hair off. It’s itching the crap out of me.’

It was strange how the haircuts had lent the evening an air of frivolity, Holly thought as she lathered her hair with shampoo. It was like a sleepover in junior high, which made Oliver what—the dad she supposed, and then smiled at the image this conjured of Gail drinking from Oliver’s purloined Dad mug. Was it healthy to reminisce, Holly wondered, or did it suggest that at some unconscious level she believed all this would be taken from her soon, or perhaps more aptly she and Gail and everyone who stood with them would be taken too soon. 

Before Holly could examine that notion further she felt Gail slip into the shower behind her. Gail snaked an arm around Holly’s waist, leaning her weight a little against Holly’s back and kissing her neck.

‘Couldn’t do that so easily before,’ Gail grinned impishly and then moved her hand to Holly’s breast.

‘Gail,’ Holly said warningly, unable to shake the melancholia that had settled with the conviction they were doomed. ‘We have to leave in ten minutes.’

‘Fun police,’ Gail said, her lips against Holly’s ear. She bit down gently and Holly couldn’t help sighing. ‘This is just such a sexy new look.’

‘And Oliver told Frankie we’d be outside June Smith’s house in half an hour.’

‘Alright, alright,’ Gail grumbled. 

Gail’s appetite for sex shouldn’t surprised her. Not that Holly was complaining. But before Oliver and Chloe showed up, they had literally spent two hours fucking, and still Gail wanted more. She wondered if this was how Gail coped with the fear they would not survive.

‘I’m beginning to think you prefer me with short hair.’

‘It’s just the novelty.’

‘The novelty?’ Holly turned suddenly, with a lop-sided grin, and stilled Gail’s wandering hands with her own.

‘Yeah the novelty,’ Gail said, ‘you know I’m like a child, Holly. Impressed by anything new and shiny.’

‘I happen to know you are anything but a child, Gail,’ Holly leaned in to brush a kiss against Gail’s lips, her voice husky and suggestive. If Gail hoped Holly had capitulated she was sorely disappointed because in the next moment Holly hopped out of the shower before Gail had a chance to stop her.

‘You don’t play fair, Stewart,’ Gail whined.

Holly grinned and started to towel herself off. ‘You really expected me to agree to sex right now?’

‘No, not with Oliver and Chloe waiting for us outside,’ Gail’s screwed up her face as if this was an absurd idea.

‘So you, what, pushed because you knew I’d put the brakes on,’ Holly raised an eyebrow.

‘Well, yeah,’ Gail said like it was obvious. ‘I count on you to be the sensible one.’

Holly snorted. Now that was a joke. She hadn’t thought twice about turning her back on her career to take a chance on Gail. Well, not a chance exactly, in the end it was to throw her lot in with Gail. Each time Gail had come to her for help or just because she couldn’t stay away, Holly had been there. Need a knife wound stitched Gail, well I’m your girl. Looking for a place to hide, no problem, use my apartment. Want me to lie to the police about your whereabouts, easily done. Holly had known by helping Gail she risked making herself a target too, and it wasn’t rational and it probably wasn’t even sane, but she had no choice. She loved Gail. It was as simple as that.

It wasn’t a compulsion, although some might say it was—no being with Gail seemed like the natural order of things. If only Holly had grasped that when she left for San Francisco. She had realised it soon enough when no matter what she did, how many women she dated or even fucked (not that there had been many because each one felt like a betrayal), how many shots of tequila she knocked back and how many sketchy bars she found herself in at 3 am in the morning, she couldn’t shake the hollowness that had taken hold the moment her plane left Toronto.

Holly realized Gail was looking at her cryptically.

‘Are you overthinking, nerd?’ Gail asked.

‘Maybe,’ Holly shrugged dismissively as though what she had been thinking about was of no consequence. ‘And what if I had said yes,’ she challenged, grinning again, the teasing note back in her voice. ‘If I’d been up for some quick and,’ she paused and smirked, ‘dirty shower sex.’

‘I would have said no,’ Gail shrugged nonchalantly as she turned off the shower and reached for a towel. ‘We can’t keep Frankie waiting.’

Normally Holly would have smiled at Gail’s capriciousness but the mention of Frankie stopped her.

‘About Frankie,’ she hesitated, hating that she needed to bring this up again. Earlier, Gail hadn’t seemed entirely confident that Frankie was on their side. Holly couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something disquieting about the detective, and it wasn’t just that she was brash and arrogant and seemed to lack even the tiniest bit of self-awareness. 

And it definitely had nothing to do with the fact Frankie had slept with Gail. God knows Holly had slept with her share of unsuitable women in San Francisco. Come to think of it none of them were in the least suitable. Holly either had nothing in common with them or they weren’t remotely her type, or worse still they had some habit or opinions that irritated her intensely or were inimical to everything she believed in. Man, she’d even briefly dated a Trump supporter. Okay two dates but it was two dates too many. 

It was a sure way to guarantee you didn’t move on. Especially when your type turned out to be a snarky blonde-haired cop with iridescent blue eyes and who was beautiful and insane and like nobody else Holly had ever fallen for. Although, tonight had revealed that said snarky cop was just an enchanting with black hair.

Until Gail, Holly hadn’t believed there was only ever one person for you—one great love of your life and if you missed it too bad. Not that Holly had dated anyone who came close to qualifying as such until she met Gail. The longer she stayed in San Francisco, the more Holly realised it was Gail and only Gail. By that time, the rancour of their last few weeks together—Holly maddened that Gail had sprung the adoption on her and Gail bitter that Holly expected she could drop everything to follow her—made it seem impossible to reach out to Gail. 

What would she have said anyway? ‘Oh hi Gail, hopefully you’re over being angry at me for abandoning you just like the others, but guess what I’ve reconsidered and you are the love of my life.’ Yeah right. A part of Holly feared Gail wouldn’t even take her call, had perhaps even erased her from her contacts, and she decided it was less painful not to know than to face the fact that Gail might have moved on. It broke her heart a little to now know if she had reached out to Gail in time, Gail would have been receptive. Holly probably should have swanned into 15 with a blue folder under her arm and dragged Gail into an interrogation room.

‘What about Frankie,’ Gail prompted warily.

‘Before you didn’t sound that convinced about Frankie. Are you certain she’s not a,’ Holly stopped. She almost said double agent but that would be a ridiculous overstatement. They weren’t in a James Bond movie.

‘A?’ Gail queried. 

Even though they were standing very close, Holly couldn’t make out Gail’s expression. Possibly it was one of exaggerated patience or, and Holly feared it was indeed this, irritation, and so she rushed to explain what she meant. 

‘A quisling,’ Holly said, in her nervousness finding a word far more grandiloquent than double agent.

‘A quisling?’ Gail echoed.

‘It means a collaborator.’

‘Yeah, I know Ms I’ve swallowed a dictionary. Otherwise known as a fifth columnist. The enemy from within.’

Holly flushed.

‘Hey,’ Gail said, touching Holly’s cheek gently, ‘I was only teasing.’

Holly gave a weak smile. ‘I know I’m just being anxious and probably for no good reason.’

‘Hey,’ Gail said again, taking Holly’s hands and looking directly into her eyes. ‘It doesn’t hurt to be cautious. It may very well be the thing that saves our lives.’

Holly made a face. She didn’t need to be reminded of that. Gail must have realised her blunder because she squeezed Holly’s hand reassuringly. ‘Tell you what, if Frankie turns out to be a villain you can shoot her,’ she said with apparent seriousness, but Holly could tell she was joking by the way the corner of her lips twitched.

‘Yeah that really makes me feel better,’ Holly grimaced playfully. In truth she hoped she would never have to take someone’s life—Frankie’s or anyone else’s. ‘Anyway, I thought you had first dibs on that,’ she added.

‘I’ll happy give you the honour.’ Gail’s grin was mischievous again.

‘Besides if the criteria for killing Frankie is villainy, we should probably shoot her now.’

Gail laughed. ‘You really don’t like her.’

‘That’s putting it mildly,’ Holly retorted.  
……………..

June Smith lived in an affluent suburb. Large houses with big hedges and gates to keep the riff raff out. Not that much was happening on the street. There were so few vehicles parked along the curb, Frankie’s car wasn’t hard to spot. Most people had double and triple garages. Oliver pulled the car in a little way back from Frankie’s car but still with a clear view of Smith’s property. A high brick wall nearly obscured the double-story house, although double metal gates gave them a view of the circular driveway. 

‘Not a lot to see,’ Chloe said from the passenger seat in the front of the car.

An ADT Security car went by and Holly inhaled sharply.

‘It’s okay,’ Gail put her hand lightly on Holly’s thigh, ‘It’s just a routine patrol.’

Holly nodded grimly. She didn’t want Gail to regret bringing her along but now they were out on the street she was hyper-conscious of their vulnerability. Having been cooped up in Carol’s flat for over a week, it was weird to be out in the real world, if that’s what you could call sitting in a car on a stake out.

The passenger door on Holly’s side of the car was suddenly yanked open and Frankie hopped in the car, nudging Holly along so she was practically crushed against Gail. Holly tried not to appear startled but she hadn’t seen Frankie approach the car. Five minutes in to this surveillance gig and already a fail, she thought. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for her to come long. She may just turn out to be a liability.

‘You here as well, Dr Stewart,’ Frankie arched an eyebrow.

‘She is,’ Gail said before Holly could answer and in such a way it was clear Holly’s presence was not to be the subject of discussion.

‘Alrighty then,’ Frankie smirked. ‘Sweet, I guess. Hey like the new look, Dr Stewart. I can’t decide if it makes you butch or soft butch, either way,’ Frankie paused, then licked her lips very deliberately, ‘it’s very sexy.’

‘What have you got Anderson,’ Gail said irritably, ‘apart from opinions which, oh my, no one’s interested in.’

‘Always hilarious, Peck,’ Frankie scowled, shifting so she was wedged a little tighter against Holly.

Holly was in an invidious position. She had imagined Oliver would own a truck or at least a roomy eight cylinder but it turned out his car was somewhat compact. Hence if Holly moved away from Frankie she’d practically end up in Gail’s lap. Frankie would smirk some more and think it some kind of victory, maybe even suppose she had intimidated Holly. But if Holly maintained her position, as she was doing right now, then it meant having to put up with Frankie’s right thigh pressing uncomfortably again her own, and Frankie’s face looming too close. Either way Holly was the loser.

‘Hey Frankie,’ Gail leant across Holly and shoved the detective roughly. ‘Give Holly some space.’

‘Ow. Fuck Peck,’ Frankie rubbed her upper arm. ‘I can’t help that it’s a tiny-ass car.’

‘Sorry about that,’ Oliver said, turning to look at the three women. ‘Celery is a big fan of low-impact living. You know reduce your carbon footprint and all. So we only buy local and I drive this hybrid.’ 

‘It could have been worse,’ Gail said dryly. ‘Celery might have made you ride a bicycle.’

Oliver laughed good-naturedly. ‘Promise you’ll never say that in front of Celery. It might give her ideas.’

‘You guys are all way too henpecked,’ Frankie said, her voice dripping with disgust.

‘Celery isn’t making me do this,’ Oliver replied amiably, not rising to Frankie’s bait. ‘She feels strongly about this, sure, and made a good argument. I heard her out and I chose to go along with it.’

‘You just want the quiet life,’ Frankie said like Oliver had caved too easily.

‘Nothing wrong with that, Anderson or doing things to keep your girlfriend happy.’

‘Ha. Well the things I do to keep my girlfriends happy have nothing to do with carbon emissions,’ Frankie sniggered. ‘Let’s just say if you’ve got the right talents, it’s them who do the begging.’

‘Jesus Frankie,’ Gail said in exasperation, ‘will you just tell us what’s happening with June Smith.’

‘Has she come out of the house at all,’ Chloe said, clearly not impressed by Frankie’s antics either.

‘Keep your panties on everyone,’ Frankie sighed exaggeratedly. ‘Or not,’ she added leaning in closer to Holly. It was a moonless night and the only light in the car came from a street lamp but even so Holly could make out the leer on Frankie’s face. Was Frankie always this sleazy or was she just doing it to goad Gail. According to Traci she hadn’t taken being dumped by Gail well. Was this Frankie’s revenge then, to overtly hit on Holly?

Not for the first time Holly wondered what Gail had seen in the sour detective. Then it hit her. Just as Holly had subconsciously sought out unsuitable liaisons in San Francisco to guarantee she wouldn’t get over Gail, so too Gail had slept with Frankie to avoid moving on from Holly. Frankie was Gail’s unsuitable person. 

Not that Holly could find it within herself to be grateful to Frankie for being a—Holly tried to think of a word and settled on stopgap, which amused her because Frankie would hardly like to be seen as a temporary substitute, but Holly bet it was expediency that made Gail sleep with the detective. Whatever, it didn’t make Holly dislike Frankie any less, especially when the woman was currently being so overbearing, literally and figuratively.

Holly shifted position and in the process rammed her elbow in Frankie’s ribs, hard enough that the woman made an oomph sound. ‘Oops sorry. It is cramped back here,’ Holly said with faux innocence. She could swear Gail was stifling a snigger. ‘You were saying about June Smith.’

Frankie backed away so she was jammed again the car door and eyed Holly warily before speaking, ‘Noelle and I followed her home. She turned on the lights. About half an hour later the gates, which are electric, opened to let in a guy on a moped delivering takeout. Apart from that nobody has been to visit.’

‘She alone?’ Oliver asked.

‘Looks like it, although the blinds are drawn so it’s hard to tell.’

‘Any alarms or security camera?’ Gail asked.

‘There’s no evidence of any cameras. I’m guessing if Smith has an alarm system she would have switched it off once she got home,’ Frankie said. 

‘Unless it’s zoned.’ Holly pointed out.

‘True. It’s a big house so that’s a possibility. What, are you planning on storming the barricades?’ Frankie asked, clearly amused by that idea.

‘It helps to be prepared,’ Gail answered evenly, not wanting to give Frankie any latitude.

‘You’d think someone so senior in CSIS would have better security,’ Chloe said.

‘Not necessarily. Apart from the head of CSIS, the identities of the other executives aren’t disclosed to the public. Smith probably figures she doesn’t need to overdo security,’ Gail pointed out. 

‘If she had good security I doubt we’d still be sitting here, ‘ Frankie said. ‘There are no CCTV cameras on this street either. In fact it’s all clear until you get back to the main road. Dov checked.’

‘It’s a low-crime neighbourhood,’ Chloe said. ‘No need for CCTV.’

‘Yep,’ Gail agreed, ‘and I bet neighbourhood watch pays for the security patrol that went by earlier.’

They fell silent for a moment. It occurred to Holly that they might be sitting outside Smith’s house all night for no good reason. In fact while they were here it was quite possible the Brotherhood was rigging up its bombs in power stations across Toronto.

‘So the new look,’ Frankie gestured to Gail and Holly, ‘I’m guessing that’s cause you two are now top of the list of Canada’s most wanted.’

‘Well,’ Gail said blithely, ‘we both felt like we needed a change. Nothing like a makeover to give you a new lease of life.’

‘Very droll Peck. It was a neat trick on Smith’s part. Even with the makeover, she’s effectively hamstrung you. But is she just messing with you or is this more serious?’

‘Probably a bit of both,’ Gail shrugged.

‘What I think it means,’ Oliver said slowly, measuring each word to underscore the seriousness of what he had to say, ‘is that June Smith and her consortium plan to strike very soon, or at least get the Brotherhood rockin’n’rollin. She is clearly desperate to get Gail and Holly out of the way. It may mean she believes Gail and now Holly are the only ones outside of the consortium with any knowledge of their plan.’

‘Well, it’s a good thing if she thinks we’re working alone. It gives us the element of surprise and it means Blake hasn’t cottoned on to any of this,’ Gail gestured to her fellow occupants in the car. ‘But I think you’re right, Oliver. June Smith would only up the ante for a reason, particularly as she would have had to use CSIS resources to make us look like terrorists. That’s risky. Someone in CSIS could easily figure out that she’s planted false information.’

‘That means we haven’t got long,’ Frankie said, an urgency in her voice that Holly hadn’t heard before. ‘But what I don’t get is if Smith is so desperate for you to be out of the way, why didn’t Blake Peck hand you over to the Brotherhood this morning.’

‘Maybe it was some kind of weird family loyalty,’ Gail pursed her lips.

‘Or maybe the Brotherhood hadn’t told him the full story. Maybe Blake doesn’t know exactly what they plan on doing with those guns,’ Holly said.

‘It’s possible,’ Frankie agreed.

‘He’s stupid enough,’ Gail added. ‘They might be keeping him in the dark because they realise he’s a potential liability.’

‘Which is why we need to find him,’ Chloe said, ‘chances are he at least knows the location of the Brotherhood safe house. It makes sense that was were they were headed this morning.’

‘True,’ Oliver nodded. ‘In which case sending Frankie after Gail might have been deliberate. Maybe the Brotherhood wasn’t completely certain Frankie could be trusted and asked Blake to get her out of the way before they took the guns to the safe house.’

‘So Chris and Dov haven’t located Blake yet,’ Frankie asked.

‘Not yet,’ Oliver scratched him chin and frowned.

‘That dumb ass will probably turn out to be the key to this whole thing,’ Gail shook her head in disbelief.

‘I’m guessing Jordan hasn’t had any luck either,’ Frankie said.

‘Nada,’ Oliver blew out a breath. ‘He hasn’t found a single CSIS safe house that the Brotherhood are potentially using. Short of visiting every single one, which we haven’t got the time or people power to do, we’re going to have assume that was a dead end.’

‘You know what, June Smith is a wealthy woman. She lives in a big house in an upmarket neighbourhood and she’d be on a very good salary,’ Holly paused.

‘And’ Gail prompted.

‘And I bet she’s got an extensive property portfolio including rental property. Maybe that’s where she’s parked the Brotherhood.’ 

‘Could be,’ Oliver said. ‘We can ask Jordan to look into it.’

‘Unless, of course, the safe house belongs to someone else in the consortium. Then we’ve got no hope,’ Chloe said.

At that a gloom settled in the car. Thwarted at every turn, Holly thought, wondering from where she’d dug up that phrase. Overstatement seemed to be her thing today.

‘Surely we’ll catch a break soon,’ Frankie said with rare sincerity. Unexpected as it was, her candour was not what surprised Holly the most—rather it was how passionate Frankie sounded. It made Holly think there was more to the detective than she let on. Not that Holly was going to change her view that Frankie was an ass anytime soon but perhaps she had been wrong to doubt her. 

‘What I wouldn’t do to get June Smith alone in a room,’ Frankie said.

‘I’m guessing right now you’re talking about torturing Smith for information not your sexual perversions,’ Gail said caustically, ‘or is it hard to distinguish between the two.’

‘You would know Peck,’ Frankie rejoined.

‘Nope. Don’t go there,’ Gail shook her head as if she felt sorry for Frankie, ‘it could be very damaging to your ego.’ Holly found herself smirking, and she had a very strong feeling that Oliver and Chloe were too.

After that Frankie left hurriedly, saying she better get back to Noelle so they could both head home.

‘You could have a long boring night ahead of you,’ she said as she left. ‘June might already be tucked up in her bed snoring. I don’t think she’ll be leading you to the safe house any time soon.’

It transpired June was not asleep. Just as the glow from the taillights on Frankie’s car became fainter and fainter until they had nearly disappeared completely down the street, the gates on the drive opened and June appeared. She was trundling a blue recycling bin behind her and placed it on the sidewalk so it faced the curb. Clearly she wasn’t overly worried about her safety. 

She was a compact woman, not overly tall but with the appearance of someone who worked out. Holly guessed her to be in her mid fifties. Still attractive but in a brittle way, like Elaine on steroids Holly decided. Even at this distance you could tell June had the self-assurance of someone used to getting her way. A hard woman. Not someone you’d want to cross.

‘She’s awfully relaxed for someone about to bring down the government,’ Chloe observed.

‘She’s probably betting Holly and I have gone to ground,’ Gail shrugged. 

‘Wouldn’t that shock her to know you were sitting outside her house watching her put out the trash,’ Chloe chuckled as Smith turned and went back through the gate. Strangely she didn’t shut it though.

‘The trash,’ Holly sat up straight.

‘The trash?’ Gail echoed.

‘Smith put out the recycling. She must have gone back inside to get the trash. She’s coming back outside.’

With that Holly opened the car door and was on the street running towards the house. She heard Gail curse behind her and then say ‘oh fuck’ again as she struggled to unclasp her seatbelt. Holly wasn’t entirely sure what she doing. Maybe she was driven by instinct or perhaps it was sheer madness but it just seemed too good an opportunity to miss. 

June appeared at the gate again and at first was too focused on manoeuvring the bin to realise someone was pounding towards her. In any case the barrelling and scrap of the bin wheels against the sidewalk drowned out Holly’s footfalls. When June finally looked up and saw Holly almost upon her, she let go of the bin and reached for something in her pocket. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, Holly thought. She had forgotten Smith was likely to have a gun. Not so relaxed after all. Holly had no choice then. She launched herself at Smith and tackled her to the ground with a heavy thud. Smith’s body cushioned her landing, but the fall left both of them momentarily winded. Holly became aware of the howl of a neighbouring dog, which some part of her brain registered was set off by the sound of sirens which were drawing closer. She heard Gail's frantic voice and a car revving it’s engine. Then she felt cold steel pressed against her belly and immediately knew June had her finger on the trigger of the gun.


	21. Twenty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Rookie Blue or anyone of the characters…
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and for reading. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. Writing is mainly a solitary business so I really appreciate hearing from readers. Hope you enjoy.  
> ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘Pull that trigger and I’ll blow your brains out,’ Gail’s voice was soft but there was something in her tone Holly could only describe as dangerous and which left no doubt she would carry out the threat. 

Gail had a gun pressed to June Smith’s temple and the expression on her face was hard and quite devoid of emotion. A casual bystander observing the scene would have no idea what Holly meant to her. Nor would they think that Gail was at all shaken, which surely she must be. It occurred to Holly that Gail had fallen back on her training, that she was in some sort of zone that allowed her to be detached, ostensibly at least. Holly had never seen Gail like this. Even that infamous night at the Penny, when Gail had said she would rather tazer herself in the eye than spend another minute with Holly and Lisa, was mild by comparison. 

Holly might have taken the time to be impressed by Gail’s ability to remain cool-headed but for the fact that June still had the muzzle of a gun jammed into her belly, the metal so cold against Holly’s skin it nearly made her gasp. She knew enough about ballistics to realise at this range Smith would blow a hole in her abdomen the size of a fist. 

The three women were arrested in a weird sort of tableaux—Holly effectively pinning June to the ground and Gail crouched by Smith’s head, not taking her eyes off the woman. If any of the neighbours happened to look out their windows they likely would not know what to make of the scene. Holly bet it was not the sort of thing this upscale neighbourhood witnessed very often, if at all.

June’s pupils were dilated and her face flushed and her breathing shallow but rapid. The fight or flight response had kicked in, Holly thought, systematically cataloguing the physiological process June’s body was going through. It was a strangely calming exercise and for the moment distracted Holly from the fact that any second she could be dead. June was perhaps not so fortunate, having neither Gail’s composure nor science to divert her. Admittedly a gun to the head trumped a gun to the belly in the anxiety stakes. 

June swallowed almost imperceptibly but Holly notice—hard not to when their faces were so close. Then June squeezed her eyes shut before opening them and blinking rapidly. Had she hoped this was all a bad dream? Holly knew the feeling and also knew June was deeply afraid. Now Holly wasn’t certain if this were a good or a bad thing because fear often made people behave unpredictably and she really did not want June deciding the only option was to leave a fist-sized hole in her abdomen. 

However, it seemed that June was biding her time for she remained completely still. It appeared she and Gail had reached an impasse with neither willing to make a move either to capitulate or bring on what would surely be a blood bath. Holly wondered how long they could remain in this stasis. Once more she became aware of the barking dog, which appeared to be in the yard next to June’s house, and whose howls had morphed into a frenzied high-pitched yapping. Holly prayed the dog’s owner wouldn’t come to check on the disturbance. However, more worrisome than the dog was the siren drawing ever closer. Had a neighbour phoned the police?

Smith’s eyes darted sideways to the left and then the right. If she were considering shooting Holly and then making a run for it she wouldn’t get far. Oliver and Chloe were standing either side of them with their guns drawn. Holly hadn’t registered their arrival but realised now that the revving engine she had heard as she tackled June was Oliver gunning the car to bring it up alongside them. The siren must only be a few blocks away and any moment now Holly expected to see the blue flashing light as a squad car made its way up the street. A light had come on in the next-door house. It was enough to give June hope—of rescue perhaps—for she pushed the gun harder into Holly’s stomach and Holly let out a sharp gasp.

‘June, June, June,’ Gail said as though disappointed, the reproach all the more menacing for its apparent mildness. ‘You are really starting to annoy me. Just so you know, I wouldn’t think twice about splattering your brain matter over the sidewalk.’ 

‘Gail,’ Oliver said, ever genial although Holly detected a note of warning in his voice. ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’

‘Killing Smith is probably the smartest thing I’ll do today,’ Gail said, tightening her grip on the Glock. ‘Fancy a wager Smith—see who’s the quickest draw.’

June’s eyes bulged at that but she clenched her jaw defiantly. Was it sensible to goad her, Holly wondered?

‘No point taking Gail on,’ Chloe piped up, sounding oddly cheerful, ‘she outshoots everyone. And Holly is the love of Gail’s life so if you shoot her, well let’s just say Gail won’t have any mercy. And if she misses, which would be impossible at such close range, then I’d shoot you myself.’ The last bit was said helpfully and it almost made Holly laugh out loud. What surreality was she trapped in now? If Holly dared move, she’d pinch herself to see if this was actually happening, but given June’s current state of hyper-vigilance any sudden movement—or even to stir slightly—was best avoided. She wished she could straighten her glasses, which had been knocked askew in the scuffle, a desire she later identified as quite peculiar given the situation.

‘It would seem, Miss Smith, you have no choice,’ Oliver said, quite reasonably, ‘and you see I have a gun also and if it comes to that, if you should harm Dr Stewart in any way or Gail for that matter, then I would have to use it also.’

Was it strange that Oliver wasn’t trying to talk June down? Maybe he felt there was no time to waste —he was surely aware of the approaching siren—or perhaps he was worried Gail was prepared to back herself to beat June to the draw. Holly couldn’t believe that he or Chloe or even Gail wanted to kill June but if they were bluffing it was convincing. Normally, Holly could read Gail. It was always her eyes that gave her away but right now Gail was giving nothing and Holly had no idea how serious she was. 

June must have finally realised the hopelessness of her situation because Holly felt her hand relax so that though the gun was still wedged between them, it was no longer pressing into her so painfully. Gail seemed to have sensed the change in June because Holly saw something shift in her face. Only then did Holly recognise that she had mistaken hardness for tension. The magnitude of her recklessness hit Holly then. What had possessed her to put Gail through this? 

If it had been the reverse, if June were holding a gun to Gail, well Holly knew exactly how that felt. All it had taken was for Carol—or Carla, as they knew her then—to put Gail in a chokehold for Holly to threaten to blow the fake librarian’s brains out. She would have too had Carol tried to hurt Gail. It was different though because Gail had not deliberately put herself in a situation where Carol could kill her. Holly, on the other hand, had gone blundering after June, thinking, well not really thinking, but believing it to be a good plan. Just as Holly shocked herself that day with Carol, was Gail surprised by the lengths she willing to take to save Holly’s life?

‘Dr Stewart is going to stand very slowly and once she steps away from you, I want you to push your gun over to me,’ Oliver said, his voice firm but measured. He exuded a clam he surely didn’t feel. ‘Do you understand?’

 

June croaked out ‘yes’ and then ‘okay’. Gail still had the gun to her temple, the hand holding it steady and sure. Holly placed her hands on either side of June and pushed upwards as forcefully as she could. Somehow, in one fluid motion she managed to propel herself into a standing position. It was then—flooded with relief and a bizarre sort of euphoria at having cheated death—her knees buckled. As a scientist Holly knew this was caused by a drop in blood sugar, one of the after effects of the adrenaline rush. Still she stumbled and nearly fell but someone caught her under the arms.

‘I’ve got you,’ Frankie said, and the gentle reassurance in her voice took Holly by surprise. Where had she come from? The last Holly saw the detective she was in the car with Noelle heading up the street, the rear lights becoming fainter and fainter and more and more indistinct until the red glow disappeared all together. Holly was so preoccupied with puzzling this out that later she could not recall seeing Oliver secure June’s gun or Gail and Chloe hauling her to her feet. June had a wet patch at the front of her dress. Urine, Holly guessed. Another side effect of the adrenaline rush—the body was so busy dealing with the perceived threat it ignored less vital bodily functions. At least June hadn’t lost control of her bladder until Holly was standing. There was that to be thankful for.

‘Here,’ Noelle said, holding out a flexi tie. Until then Holly hadn’t noticed her either. ‘We better move. It sounds like a neighbour might have called this in.’ She jerked her head in the direction of the siren.

Gail must have seen something change in June’s expression—was it hope again—because she pushed her gun into June’s ribs and said like some gangster in a B grade movie, ‘No funny business. I’m still dealing with the disappointment of not actually getting to shoot you.’

Frankie sniggered.

‘Go shut the gate,’ Noelle said to Frankie as she righted the garbage bin that must have tumbled over when Holly tackled June. ‘Let’s not make it easy for the uniforms to work out which house the disturbance came from.’

For some reason Frankie did as Noelle instructed. Holly had expected her to make a snide comment, imagining Frankie to be someone who didn’t like to be ordered around, but she complied without complaint.

‘With any luck the neighbours haven’t figured it out, ‘ Oliver said, nodding towards the house next door which seemed even more lit up then before. 

Somewhere in the upheaval the dog had stopped barking. Perhaps the owner had put the dog inside. Maybe they were so focused on quietening the dog they hadn’t bothered to find out what set it off.

It was decided to take June back to Carol’s apartment. Holly was to go with Frankie while the other four accompanied June.

‘Just in case there’s any trouble,’ Oliver said by way of explanation, ‘best to have as many officers and,’ he paused and looked at Gail, ‘ex officers keeping an eye on June.’

It made sense, Holly reasoned. Although she couldn’t help but think they wanted to keep her as far away from June as possible, which also made sense. Never before had she been considered a loose canon and it was strangely disconcerting.

‘Yeah, we want June in one piece,’ Frankie smirked and looked directly at Holly. Gail pursed her lips and Holly noticed a muscle in her jaw twitch. She pulled June toward the car a little more roughly than necessary. Gail hadn’t said anything to Holly yet—there hadn’t exactly been an opportunity but still Holly suspected Gail actually wanted to direct her anger towards her not June. She couldn’t help but think she deserved it.

Holly had always had a reputation for being clear-headed and responsible. Her parents still chuckled about her kindergarten report, which stated that Holly could always be counted on to make sensible choices and fro her age possessed a highly developed sense of responsibility. ‘No surprises there’ her father would smile fondly. She was the type of kid who never had to be reminded to do chores and seemed to completely bypass the rebellious teenage years. If her parents went out of town for the weekend leaving Holly home alone, it never occurred to her to throw a wild party. 

All through school Holly had nice, sensible friends who like her studied hard rather than party, and whose idea of a good time was a trip to ComicCon or a foreign film festival and or a weekend marathon of black and white movies. Noir were Holly’s favourite. Even then she had a weakness for the blonde femme fatale rather than the hard-bitten and morally ambiguous hero who seemed rather tedious by comparison. Holly hadn’t dated until the final years in high school and then only to confirm that boys were most definitely not her thing. She didn’t touch drugs or even drink much until college. In fact not until she met Lisa—who, it had to be said, was in no shape or form a sensible choice of friend, but that was exactly what appealed to Holly. It was the opportunity to break out, although even then it was in a fairly contained way. 

Admittedly, Holly could on occasion be impulsive. Turning up at 15, not once but twice, with a blue folder and a flimsy excuse to drag Gail into an interrogation room was a case in point. ‘You go girl,’ Rachel had said approvingly when she heard about it, knowing it was out of character for Holly, and having on both occasions listened to Holly endlessly lament Gail’s unattainability. In the first instance because she was straight and in the second because she and Holly had so badly fucked up, and Gail by her actions had shown she didn’t know how or maybe didn’t even want to be in a relationship, and anyway Holly was going to San Francisco.

‘I’m sorry,’ Holly said quietly to everyone and no one in particular, although most of all she owed a huge apology to Gail. Nobody said anything and she wondered if they had heard. Gail was already guiding June into the car, her hand on the back of the woman’s head just as she had been taught at the Academy. Old habits. Chloe was already in the backseat and Noelle was stationed just behind Gail.

‘It’s the shock,’ Oliver said to Holly. ‘Give it time.’ She thought he was referring to her until he patted her on the arm and said. ‘She’ll come around. She just needs to process.’ With that he joined the others. He cranked the ignition and the car roared to life with an amazing amount of grunt for a hybrid.

‘So,’ Frankie said once she and Holly were in the car. ‘What the hell happened?’

Holly frowned. How to explain the sheer madness of the moment?

‘Seemed like a good idea at the time?’ Frankie said, sounding more understanding than Holly thought her capable.

Holly bit her lip. She tried to buckle her seat belt but she had begun to tremble quite violently. Frankie reached across and clicked it in place. She placed a hand on Holly’s arm to still her but it didn’t stop the shaking. 

‘Hold on,’ Frankie said, flipping open the glove box and producing a hip flask. ‘Here,’ she said, unscrewing the lid and holding the flask out to Holly who took it with out hesitation. The first swig felt like it burnt the back of her throat, but by the second she could feel herself calming as the alcohol hit her system. It was whisky, and despite that initial burn, an expensive one. Holly swallowed another mouthful.

‘Slow down,’ Frankie chuckled. ‘It’s strong. Single malt.’ She held out her hand for the flask but Holly just stared at her defiantly and took another gulp before giving it back.

Frankie tipped it back. A generous slug. Then she tucked the flask into her back pocket and pulled the car onto the road. Not before time. By Holly’s reckoning the squad car was at the bottom of the street, although given it was a long and winding road, it was still out of view.

‘Do you always drink on the job?’ Holly asked, relieved she could speak without her teeth chattering.

Frankie laughed again. ‘This caper is strictly off duty.’ She paused and then glanced sideways at Holly. ‘So, Doctor Stewart, I’m guessing June Smith isn’t your type, so wanna tell me how you came to be so up close and personal?’

Holly absentmindedly pushed her glasses up her nose and then, forgetting her hair was short, went to brush it back off her forehead. Frankie noticed, of course, her gaze following the trajectory of Holly’s hand and her lips quirking just a little when Holly met with skin instead of hair. It seemed nothing escaped Frankie’s attention. Her scrutiny had none of the subtlety of Gail’s watchfulness—which Holly thought a product of both the gaze of the outsider and Gail’s ability to automatically and quite carefully catalogue her surroundings, no doubt a skill drummed in by Elaine. No, where Gail was covert, Frankie’s inspection was intrusive and mildly unsettling, something Holly suspected the detective intended.

‘What does Peck think?’ Frankie inclined her head to indicate Holly’s hair.

Holly wasn’t sure how to respond. She expected Frankie squirrelled away scraps of information to use as ammunition later, and that the detective could even twist something as innocuous as Gail’s reaction to the haircut. It was probably what made her a good cop, because for all her other faults, Frankie did have a reputation for diligence at work. And for sleeping around. Not long after Holly had started work at the morgue—the youngest forensic pathologist ever hired by the province and still fairly green—she had been warned by a colleague about Frankie’s persistence. ‘It borders on harassment,’ the woman had said, ‘but Anderson’s clever enough to stop just short of it. Just don’t let on you’re single and whatever you do don’t sleep with her.’ On Holly’s return to Toronto, Traci had also advised her to invent a girlfriend to keep Frankie at bay.

‘I wouldn’t worry,’ Frankie said, when Holly didn’t reply, mistaking her silence for uneasiness. ‘Peck never had a problem with short-haired women in the past.’ She chuckled again.

Holly shifted in her seat. Once again she couldn’t think of a suitable response.

‘Peck would have told you that she and I had a thing,’ Frankie said.

Holly nodded.

‘I’m not telling you to make you feel weird or anything. For Peck it’s always been about you. Once when we had sex she moaned your name.’

Holly scrunched up her face. She really didn’t want to think about Frankie and Gail fucking. It wasn’t that once she went to San Francisco Holly expected Gail to be celibate. She remembered what it was like to come out, to be the baby gay. The thrill as a whole new world opened up and with it the possibilities that you had spent too long missing out on. Holly’s first year of college, when she finally admitted her sexuality, had been pretty wild. A lot of sex and a fair bit of experimentation. It was a wonder she had maintained her high grades. No doubt Gail, unencumbered by a girlfriend, had a time of it. Once she hit the scene there would have been no shortage of women lining up, that Holly was certain of. She just wished that in the aftermath of their short-lived relationship, Gail had picked someone other than Frankie to fool around with.

‘Am I overstepping,’ Frankie asked, for all intents and purposes concerned.

What to say? ‘Yes’ would make Holly seem prudish and Frankie think she had got under her skin, which the detective would probably take as a victory of sorts. ‘No’ would just encourage Frankie to be more outrageous.

‘I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable,’ Frankie said after a beat.

‘Yeah,’ Holly replied sceptically, ‘seems to me that’s your modus operandi.’

‘Aww you got me Doc,’ Frankie, taking a hand off the steering wheel and clutching her chest as if she had been shot.

Holly rolled her eyes. The alcohol was starting to take effect, making her bolder. ‘Didn’t think you were into dramatics, Detective.’

‘Are you flirting with me?’ Frankie raised her eyebrows, her voice taking on a seductive tone.

‘Pff. You wish,’ Holly said, doing her best to channel Gail.

‘God you sound like Peck,’ Frankie huffed.

Holly could tell she wasn’t really annoyed. Water off a duck’s back. It was the same the first time Holly rebuffed Frankie’s advances and the second, and the third. Her colleague hadn’t been wrong. Frankie was persistent. Thankfully she did give up eventually, mainly because she bored easily. Normally she had several flirtations on the go, so if one didn’t pan out, she moved onto the next. No pining over unrequited love, although Gail seemed to have got to Frankie, maybe because she was the one that ended it, which had always been Frankie’s thing. 

‘I never would have asked you out when you got back to Toronto if I’d known you were still carrying a torch for Gail,’ Frankie said. 

‘You know what Frankie that doesn’t make sense. If you didn’t think Gail was back in my life why did you and Swarek go after me so hard?’

‘That wasn’t our finest moment,’ Frankie conceded. ‘Though admit it, Doc, if you’d come clean about Peck we could have got a head start on this mess. Smith and her friends may even be behind bars right now.’

‘You would have handed Gail over to Smith,’ Holly said.

Frankie jerked her head around to look at Holly. It caused the car to drift a little into the middle of the road and an oncoming motorist sounded their horn loudly.

‘Asshole,’ Frankie said vehemently, returning her attention to the road and righting the car. ‘What makes you think that?’ She was trying to sound nonchalant or so it seemed to Holly, who again found herself questioning Frankie’s trustworthiness.

‘You only just figured out Gail wasn’t a crook or a traitor. If you and Swarek had arrested her, Smith would have swooped on her. If I’d given up Gail, she’d probably be dead right now.’

Frankie made a face. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. You know Chloe said Gail and I were too alike and wouldn’t have worked.’

It was a strange statement, although perhaps no weirder than anything Frankie had said since they got in the car. Had she really hoped for a relationship with Gail? Holly couldn’t quite believe it. Still there was a melancholy to Frankie’s words that surprised Holly.

‘What’d ya think, Doc? Are Gail and me alike?’ The delivery was offhand again but deliberately so making Holly think this mattered to Frankie.

‘I don’t know you well enough to say,’ Holly said, thinking yeah you might be if you had a bucket load of compassion and Gail’s quick wit. Where would she even begin? For starters, Frankie was far more abrasive than Gail, had in fact shown a capacity to be brutal and hard-hearted and Holly didn’t believe any of those things of Gail.

‘So,’ Frankie prompted.

‘Yes and no, but mainly no.’

‘Cryptic,’ Frankie scowled. ‘I guess you’re not going to go into detail.’

‘I’d need a lot more whiskey for that,’ Holly laughed. Frankie dug the flask out of her pocket and tossed it in Holly’s lap. There was no way she was having this conversation, Holly thought as she took another swig of whisky. The burn of the alcohol was mellow now and she was feeling quite relaxed.

‘When June Smith put her bins out I thought it was too good an opportunity to pass up,’ Holly said, deciding she’d rather talk about her recklessness than catalogue Gail’s and Frankie’s similarities and differences. ‘You all said you wanted to talk to her and who knew when we get another chance to grab her.’

‘Next bin night,’ Frankie said dryly.

Holly grimaced and took another mouthful of whisky. ‘I didn’t think she’d be armed. I guess I didn’t think at all really. It was stupid.’

‘Actually, it was probably the smartest thing any of us have done.’

‘Smartest?’ Holly asked doubtfully.

‘Yeah. We’ve been sitting around trying to figure out what Smith and co have planned, it was about time we escalated things. Otherwise Toronto could go up in smoke and we’d still be sitting outside Smith’s house.’

‘I guess,’ Holly grimaced again.’ As long Smith talks.’

‘As long as she talks,’ Frankie sighed.

…………………………………..

 

The interrogation of June Smith had been going for nearly two hours. She was tied to a chair in the living room with Oliver, Gail and Noelle standing over her. Oliver was the good cop, appealing to her better nature and her conscience but it fell on deaf ears. From what Holly could hear from her position at the kitchen table, June was cold-hearted. Her face was set in a defiant sneer and she wasn’t saying anything, despite the best efforts of her interrogators. Gail and Noelle took it in turns to provoke her, goading and then berating but it was to no avail.

‘Tea,’ Chloe offered brightly. Holly shook her head. By now she’d polished off the hip flask and was wondering where Carol kept the alcohol. Where was Carol anyway? She frowned. Had anyone thought to call the woman?

‘She’s not going to talk,’ Frankie said, as she came into the kitchen. She had wandered into the living room to see if she could help but June had just clammed up more. Frankie reached for the hip flask and then held it upside down. Holly watched as a single drop of whiskey formed on the rim of the flask, the little ball of liquid gathering and expanding until gravity made it drip, falling and then flattening out as it hit the table. ‘Geez Doc, you drank all of this,’ Frankie said incredulously.

Holly shrugged. She had gone back to thinking this must be a dream. Every single insane minute of it. From the moment she saw Gail at the cocktail party in San Francisco to sitting here in the kitchen. It was all a dream or actually a nightmare. It had to be.

‘Tea,’ Chloe said, more insistent now than chirpy. She plunked a steaming cup in front of Holly.

‘I could get June to talk,’ Holly said.

‘Yeah.’ Frankie made a sceptical face, but if anything she was amused by Holly’s assertion.

‘Yep,’ Holly said smugly.

‘What do you mean?’ Chloe said, curious but also alarmed at Holly’s boldness.

‘It’s the whiskey talking,’ Frankie said.

‘Maybe,’ Holly agreed. She held out her hand, palm down, in front of Frankie. ‘Steady as a rock.’

‘So,’ Frankie challenged.

Holly pushed back her chair and walked across to where the knife block was kept on the kitchen bench. She surveyed the knives for a few moments, pulling out a few and then sliding them back into the block before she finally settled on one of the smaller ones.

‘This should do,’ she said, testing the knife against her finger. ‘Needs sharpening though.’ She began to rummage in the kitchen drawers until she found a knife sharpener.

‘Man, you are bad ass,’ Frankie said, clearly impressed. ‘Must be the haircut.’

‘Holly why are you doing that?’ Chloe asked tentatively and when Holly didn’t answer she appealed to Frankie. ‘What is she doing,’ Chloe’s voice had dropped to a stage whisper but the kitchen was small and Holly found it hard to believe that Chloe thought she couldn’t hear her. Holly didn’t care anyway. She felt very calm and determined like there was no question that this was now the way to proceed.

‘Yeah Holly, what are you doing?’ It was Gail’s voice and Holly stopped sharpening the knife and turned to see Gail framed in the kitchen doorway. It was the first time they had acknowledged one another since Holly had tackled June. Gail had a look of puzzlement, but it was tinged by something else. Anger? Exasperation? Holly couldn’t tell and nor could she decide if it was in response to her or June’s intransigence.

‘I’ve figured out a way to make June talk,’ Holly said, not allowing herself to waver.

Gail looked from Holly’s face to the knife in her hand and then back again. ‘Yeah,’ she said in sudden understanding. Holly half expected Gail to try and talk her down, but then something in Gail’s expression changed and Holly could swear it was a flicker of interest.

………………………………………………………..

‘I don’t like it,’ Oliver said. He was pacing up and down the kitchen, his brow so furrowed it appeared as if the lines were etched permanently. ‘It’s crossing the line. We’re police. We play by the rules.’

‘Well I stopped being police a long time ago,’ Gail said, the trace of bitterness impossible to miss.

‘I think,’ Noelle said carefully, ‘Smith and co tore up the rule book.’

‘Yeah, If Smith won’t cooperate, she only has herself to blame,’ Frankie chimed in.

‘What I mean,’ Noelle continued, with a hint of annoyance, ‘is this is unchartered territory for us and if we apply the normal rules we’ll be left behind.’

‘Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures,’ Gail offered.

‘So torture is okay if it’s for the greater good?’ Oliver asked, shaking his head with disbelief.

Gail bit her lip and seemed to be about to say something.

‘Oh,’ Oliver nodded, suddenly comprehending.

‘Generally security agencies consider it acceptable if the means justifies the end.’

‘And you believe that? Doesn’t that make us as bad as them?’ Oliver challenged.

It was a valid point, and one Holly would normally have endorsed without question, but they had reached the brink and now was not the time for philosophical discussions or niceties. 

‘Is it the mark of a civilised society,’ Oliver continued when no one spoke.

Gail bit her lip and then said quietly, ‘No.’

‘Isn’t it the thin edge of the wedge. If we think it’s okay to do this, does it make the next atrocity easier to commit?’ Oliver held out his hands and looked around the group gathered in the kitchen. If he was hoping for support, he didn’t get it.

‘Holly is hardly going to commit an atrocity,’ Frankie said.

‘The threat may be enough,’ Holly nodded. ‘At least I hope it is.’

‘So far Smith’s refused to give us anything, what makes you think a threat will get her talking now? Agents are trained to withstand torture, aren’t they?’ Oliver looked at Gail again.

‘Yeah. It’s part of the training, except Smith was never an agent. She came in at management level. Transferred from the Tax Office.’

‘Natural progression,’ Frankie observed dryly.

Noelle chuckled but Holly looked at Frankie blankly.

‘Another form of surveillance,’ she explained. ‘You should see the lengths they go to catch tax cheats.’

‘Speaking from experience,’ Gail couldn’t help quipping. Frankie glared, clearly not amused. Was it a sore point, Holly wondered?

‘If June is not a trained agent, then threat may well do the trick,’ she said. ‘If not, Oliver, I guarantee one cut will be enough to make her talk and Lisa’s on her way with some pretty decent pain killers.’

Oliver regarded Holly steadily. She had expected he might judge her but his look was one of deep concern.

‘Are you sure you want to do this, Holly?’ Oliver’s voice was so kind that Holly almost faltered.

She made a grim face and nodded. ‘I know exactly where to cut to make June bleed but not kill her.’

Oliver sighed and ran his hand across his face.

‘I think Holly should do it,’ Chloe said, speaking for the first time since the discussion had started. ‘No one wants to do this Oliver but it is one cut. June and co will do far worse. They wont just kill us but countless thousands for what they see as the greater good. Anyway, I trust Holly to know where to draw the line.’

Somehow it was this that settled it. Holly could help but feel that the darkness of the act she was about to perform was so at odds with Chloe’s peppiness. Was this what decided it—the fact Chloe was the very last person anyone could imagine defending brutality or even turning a blind eye to it? Although, the same could be said of each one of them gathered there in the kitchen, perhaps with the exception of Frankie. Holly felt like the jury was still out on her.  
……………………………………………………………………………

Holly placed a towel on the coffee table and next to it she arranged the knife, a bandana that belonged to Carol and a piece of balled-up cloth. The latter two items were to be used to gag June. If Holly did have to cut June, they didn’t want the neighbours hearing her scream. After sharpening the knife, Holly had carefully sterilised it but she wasn’t about to tell June that.

June, who was still tied to the chair, followed Holly’s movements. She tried to look unconcerned but the fear was there. Holly could tell. The others were arrayed in a sort of phalanx behind Holly, their faces set, and in itself that should have been intimidating.

‘So,’ Holly said to June, picking up the knife and twirling the tip of the blade again the index finger of her other hand. ‘Let’s start again, June.’

‘Are you the cavalry?’ June scoffed. ‘I’ve read your file Dr Stewart. You’re a pacifist. You hate guns and you abhor violence.’

Gail had warned Holly that Carol would try to needle her by dismissing her as a lightweight. Just before Holly had left the kitchen, Gail had taken her aside and drawn her into a tight embrace. ‘Are you sure,’ she had murmured. Holly had nodded even though all she really wanted to do was stay there encircled in Gail’s arms but she was convinced she had no choice. Now June was looking rather pleased with herself, as though she had exposed Holly for a sham and could now relax. 

‘But you see I’m very used to cutting up bodies,’ Holly said, her voice almost singsong. ‘It’s kind of my thing. So I know,’ she gave the knife another slow twirl, ‘exactly where to cut to cause maximum pain and damage. And it will be slow and excruciatingly painful. That I can promise.’ 

‘Dr Stewart, your little act is not working for me. I know you aren’t some deranged psychopath.’

‘Did you read that in the file too.’

‘No. That I got from the hours of recordings. We’ve had your apartment bugged for months.’

It threw Holly but just momentarily. If June had the apartment bugged why hadn’t she picked up Gail? It didn’t make sense.

‘Really,’ Holly said doubtingly.

‘You don’t believe me?’

‘I think Gail is proof you’re lying.’

‘You think we wanted to kill your girlfriend?’

‘Well you murdered the rest of her team.’

June smiled enigmatically. ‘By the way, the sex is obviously good. That was clear from the tapes. Is that why you’re willing to risk everything for Peck.’

Holly felt herself colouring. So June and who knew who else had heard that. It was such an awful invasion. Even under the present circumstances, the world she and Gail created together was such a thing of joy, and people who had no concept of its loveliness and its preciousness had trampled upon it. Holly felt sick at that thought and angry too. Gail hadn’t reacted. It occurred to Holly then that June could be bluffing. At least Holly hoped so.

‘So, why didn’t you kill Gail?’

June scoffed as if Holly were stupid.

Gail stepped forward suddenly and it startled June. ‘Because you wanted me to lead you to whoever it is in CSIS who was running my team. The person who had stumbled onto your plan.’

June said nothing.

‘And for the record Smith, the sex is amazing but the reason Holly and I would do anything for each other, in fact the reason why everyone standing behind us would risk everything to stop you, is so beyond the comprehension of a sociopath like you.’

‘Is this bad cop and even badder cop routine?’ June quirked an eyebrow as if amused. ‘It’s too late. The revolution has started, even as we speak. Think I’m going to tell you anything now.’

‘I believe that’s your cue, Holly.’ Gail said, stepping back.

Holly nodded slowly. ‘Last chance June. Tell us what you know.’

June shook her head. ‘Once we seize control every single one of you will be up against the wall. Even you Anderson,’

Fuck what did that mean, Holly wondered? She felt rather than saw everyone turn to look at Frankie.

‘Smith’s trying to rattle us,’ Frankie said, not sounding in the least alarmed. ‘I’m not one of them. I think I’ve proved that.’

That at least was credible. June was trying to divide them. It was her best hope of survival or so she obviously thought.

‘That’s what you say now, Anderson,’ June said. ‘Your obsession with tracking down Gail might be endearing if it weren’t so pathetic.’

Frankie lunged forward but Noelle put an arm out to stop her.

‘So you bugged 15 too,’ Gail said calmly. It was a statement, not a question. Quite clearly she had no doubt about where Frankie’s loyalties lay. 

‘Oh so very clever Peck,’ June twisted her mouth.

Holly could feel herself losing her resolve. She took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly.

‘Just shut up, Smith,’ she said, ‘Gail, can you gag her.’

Holly knelt down and took off one of June’s shoes. Then Frankie came forward and tied June’s legs to the chair. June was chocking a little on the gag and her eyes were protruding. There was real fear there now.

‘Last chance,’ Holly said.

June shook her head again.

‘Just so you know,’ Holly said, her tone conversational, almost friendly. ‘I am going to sever your Achilles’ tendon first. It is going to hurt a lot and you won’t be able to use that leg, not until you get medical attention. But if you don’t answer our questions that won’t matter because I’ll cut the other Achilles’ tendon and if you still refuse to cooperate I will keep going until walking out of here is no longer an option.’

Holly was quick then. Even though the tendon was thick, the knife was sharp and she didn’t waste time. She imagined it was a body on the slab in the morgue and not a living, breathing person, evil as June might be. It was the only way Holly could do it. June’s screams were muffled by the gag and her eyes bulged hugely so for a moment Holly had this notion they might pop out altogether. Then June slumped forward in a faint.

‘Get her gag off,’ Holly said panicked, ‘and untie her. I need to check her pulse.’

Gail and Noelle rushed forward to do as she asked. Holly could feel Oliver and Chloe hovering behind her, and she imagined Oliver wringing his hands in dismay. 

‘Man, that was kinda hot,’ Frankie said and it was such a stupid and inappropriate comment that Holly could only think it came from nervousness.

‘Shut up Frankie,’ Chloe said, harsher than Holly had ever heard her.

The blood was pooling beneath June’s foot and Holly couldn’t believe she had done this thing. Oliver was right. She had crossed a line. There was no undoing this. Holly had always believed herself to be essentially good and kind—at least she tried to be. But how could she reconcile this act with her claim to be compassionate and decent? In cutting June it seemed Holly had excised something quite vital from within herself and it literally left her feeling hollow, like she was now less of a person. She realised with regret that this was what Oliver had been trying to tell her when he questioned whether she wanted to do this. The bile rose in her throat and quite suddenly she became light-headed, enough that she had to lean on Gail for support.

‘Are you okay,’ Gail asked softly.

Holly swallowed thickly. She had to be okay because right now she was only one could attend to June Smith. Taking a steadying breath, she said, ‘move June to the couch. We need to raise her leg so it’s above her heart. That will help stop the bleeding.’ She didn’t need to explain it. They were police officers with first aid training but somehow saying it out loud calmed Holly.

Between them, Oliver, Noelle and Gail manoeuvred June’s limp body off the chair and onto the couch. Chloe had gathered the pillows from the bedrooms and propped them under June’s leg. Holly checked June’s pulse and, satisfied it was okay, grabbed the towel and started applying pressure to the wound to stem the bleeding. The towel was quickly stained red.

‘We need more,’ she started to say as Chloe, who must have anticipated her request, appeared with a stack.

The others were hovering. Oliver looked worried. ‘What can we do?’ he asked.

‘I think we need to get June to a hospital.’

‘We can’t Holly,’ Gail said. ‘It’s too risky.’

Holly pursed her lip and pressed the towel more firmly against June’s heel.

‘I think Smith’s coming to,’ Frankie said, ‘her eyes fluttered.’

‘Are you sure,’ Noelle asked.

Holly hoped Frankie was wrong. At least for now. Conscious June would need painkillers. Lisa should be here by now. She wondered what was holding her up. When she heard the knock on the door, Holly felt a rush of relief. At least together, she and Lisa could keep June going until they could get her to a hospital. Oliver and Noelle went to open the front door and when Lisa came into the room Holly looked up expectantly. Except it wasn't Lisa.

‘My, my Doctor Stewart, I didn’t think you had this in you,’ Elaine Peck said, a note of admiration in her voice as she took in the scene before her, including the bloodied knife Holly had hastily discarded.


End file.
